ladybugs-and-black-cats - Tumblr blog

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

Making The Hard Choices

If anyone knows me, then you know I was, at one time, a huge supporter of Miraculous Fanworks. I spoke highly of the server and put the join link into my stories. I brought a few people to the server community.

Honestly, it pains me to stand against the server that used to be a place that I loved, but when the choice is posed I will always stand with my fellow neurodivergent friends. I will not allow this server and its leadership to hurt anyone else from the neurodivergent community, if I can help it. We, the neurodivergent people, already face so much because of the things that make us different. It is absolutely not okay for server leadership to bring their bias into play and further divide us.

Throughout my neurodivergence advocacy project, my efforts have mostly been met with support and affirmation. We in the neurodivergent community know of the hurtful ways that Miraculous Fanworks leaders run their server. However, I have also had people try to tell me that this is not happening. While I appreciate that some find this server to be their safe space, that does not invalidate what the server admin have done to me and others. It happened. I continues to happen. Those who identify as a part of the neurodivergent community have a right to know and I will gladly step up to make sure that others like me find a community who truly cares for them and won’t treat them terribly because of their beautiful differences.

“If it’s not us, then who and when? If we don’t fight, [they] know [they] win…”

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

Inspiration

So…I watched Wish on Saturday. It was so good and I connected with it so much, as one person who is taking it upon herself to lead the advocacy for my fellow neurodivergent friends against the bias they have received by the Miraculous Fanworks admin team. A couple of the songs from the movie have really inspired me in my neurodivergence advocacy project:

“This Wish” — I definitely could have used this song as I was getting this project started. It was intimidating, as I am one person and the Discord server in question is large. This song, though, reminds me why I am doing this. I want to see something better for us—neurodivergent people.

“Knowing What I Know Now” — I freaking love this song! This is now my battle cry! Just like in the movie, the number of us against the leaders of the server is few, but our voices matter. It might only be a murmur now, but it will grow. A spark will become a flame. “If it’s not us, then who and when? If we don’t fight, [they] know [they] win. Not allowed…knowing what I know now!”

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

Supportive Fan Community?

Oh, hi! Neurodivergent friends, may I recommend joining us over in the Miraculous Writers Circle? This server is literally everything I could have ever wanted in a fandom community! A neurodivergent-safe space where we can just talk Miraculous, fan creations, and so much more…without the toxicity and bias towards our differences…which sadly exists in other larger servers within this fandom.

I’ve been a part of MWC for almost a year and joining has only added to my experience as a fan and creator within this fandom. Hope to see you there! 💚

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

The Logic Doesn’t Add Up

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t understand how a server can expect to build community when their leadership is more concerned with trying to break the record for having the largest banned members list. If this makes sense to someone, could you please explain it to me?

I’ve led several servers (as admin and mod) and I have never once felt the need to ban anyone. Now, I’m not saying that problems never occurred. I’m just saying that my communities always strive to be supportive and inclusive, so we work through conflict with constructive conversations. Even if banning was something we did, appeals would always be handled CASE-BY-CASE. Y’know why? Because building community is important to us and we know that consequence is in place to learn from.

There is no learning from permanent consequences…especially ones leveled at neurodivergent people who make mistakes…or consequence handed out over misunderstandings in which the high and mighty “head admin” shows her bias by taking only one side of a story without fact-checking to see that there were more factors to what happened and that only one person (the one being given said consequence) knows.

All I can figure about this is that Miraculous Fanworks does not care about the fans within their community. They are all replaceable, so it doesn’t matter that their banned members list is miles long and growing by the day. It’s a serious red flag. Every other community that I am a part of in this fandom truly cares about each and every person.

Truly, it is a shame that the largest and most well-known of the communities in this fandom is the one server that does not. Do better, Miraculous Fanworks. Do better for those of us who are neurodivergent. Just…do better.

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

Hey, guess what!

Miraculous Fanworks has agreed to change their biased ways and be more supportive of neurodivergent people!

…

Oh, if only that was true… It would truly be nice if they were capable of changing, but, sadly they continue to be unsupportive of neurodivergent people.

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

You Said You Were Different?

When we first started talking, you swore to me that you were different. I told you about how other friends of the past had killed off those bonds in cruel and hurtful ways. You promised me that you were not like that and would never do such things. You’re no different. You took my experience as an idea and did the exact same thing.

When we first started talking, I couldn’t call you friend. After what “friends” in the past had done, I swore off the word and said I’d never use it again. You opened up to me and I to you. I TRUSTED YOU…and in time came to try using that word again. I never should have because you were no different from them.

Over time, I noticed things, small as they might be, and doubt crept in…fear that you were lying to me. Your answers became dodgy. To you, maybe you felt like nothing had changed, but I (knowing now how this fits into my neurodivergence) NEEDED to see it written down directly from you as confirmation. I needed absolute written proof that the doubts in my mind were not actually true. Instead of a simple reply to tell me for sure, you decided to start using a “non-answer”…silence because you thought I was being…manipulative? No. I was worried that our friendship was fizzling out and that you were just pretending to still like hearing from me. A simple confirmation that could quiet the doubts in my mind was all I needed, but instead all you gave me was anger…which only added fuel to the doubts, turning a tiny spark into a raging inferno.

It’s been almost a year and just like my “friends” in the past, you don’t care if I live or die. You cut all ties over a misunderstood message and refuse to hear the full truth. You don’t want to make a better informed decision, just like those “friends” in the past. You’re another gravestone in the “Friend Cemetery” but it didn’t have to be that way.

Actually, you are different from them. Losing them was sad, but manageable. Trust was broken, but I moved past it. Losing your friendship, well…that was enough to shatter the last little pieces of emotions that I had been working to fix. Never again will I feel emotion. Any little display of emotion is fake, carefully shaped and acted out on prior knowledge. It’s been almost a year and no one sees through my mask. One year down and an eternity to go…

So, I was wrong. You are different. You’re the only one who’s ever managed to permanently break me.

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

Send us prompts! Please. 💚

Hello, dearest followers!

March is officially here, and with Spring around the corner it's time for our writer brains to shake off the hibernation. And you can help us!

For this month’s MWG event, we’ll be playing the Fic I Won’t Might Write game.

How does it work, you ask?

It's easy : send us an ask providing a CHARACTER/SHIP and the TITLE for a fic you’d like to read (no other pointers for a fic direction!). Our participants will then share a summary or a snippet of the fic as they imagine it (and if your prompt sparks a big enough inspiration flame, maybe even a full fic! But bear in mind this event is about giving our writers space to dream up a story, even if they don’t have the time or energy to write it, so we'll kindly ask that you don't pressure anyone into writing more than what they've shared, please).

We can't wait to see what you'd like to read, and where your ideas lead us! See you in our ask box 🍃

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

PSA

Hey, hi! Have you heard of Miraculous Fanworks, probably the largest and most popular fandom community on Discord? Yeah?

Just a semi-regular reminder that their Discord server is still not a welcoming, supportive, and inclusive space for neurodivergent people.

There are plenty of other great fandom communities that love and support the differences and diversity that make us human. If you need help finding one, please don’t hesitate to reach out! 💚

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

FAIL: First Attempt In Learning

Let’s imagine for a moment that there was a student who did not learn the subject material right away. Let’s say that student had recently learned that she needed special education accommodations and multiple attempts to fully grasp what she was supposed to learn.

The teacher’s way of educating that student was to kick her out of the classroom when she made a mistake, but she would be allowed to return on the condition that she never EVER make another mistake.

Now, let’s imagine that the teacher held some bias about that student’s condition. The teacher grants the student’s request to return because she (the student) wants to learn and be apart of the community. The student returns and tries really carefully—often walking on eggshells—to please her teacher, but of course, since she needs learning accommodations, the student does make another mistake and is forbidden to ever return to the classroom..even a few months later when the old teacher leaves and a new one takes over leading the classroom.

Sounds kind of ridiculous, right? Like, what kind of teacher would ever prevent a student from being part of the supportive learning community? Better yet, what sort of teacher expects absolute perfection? One step further, what sort of teacher would place these kinds of expectations upon a student who has identified themselves as needing extra supports to grasp what they’re being taught?

Well…this analogy accurately reflects how I, as a newly determined neurodivergent person, was treated by the admins of the Miraculous Fanworks server. I was that student, trying so hard because I wanted to engage with other creators in this fandom. I was that student who faced the bias of a head admin who would do anything to see me gone from her “classroom”. I was that student who took time to learn about myself and my neurodivergence so that the troubles I faced in the past would stop coming up again, as if on a never-ending cycle. I was that student who needed more than one opportunity to reach the unattainable level of perfection that the “teacher” expected of me.

Yes, I’ll admit it. I did FAIL in the past, but you see, it was just my First Attempt In Learning.

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

If You Only Knew…

If you only knew the full story from that night, maybe things would be different?

If you only knew the number of emotional breakdowns that have happened since, maybe you’d care?

If you only knew how many letters I’ve typed up that I can’t send you, maybe you would understand?

If you only knew how I have taken time to reevaluate and learn about myself, maybe you’d realize I did change like you thought I never would?

If you only knew how, almost a year later, I am still emotionally shattered, maybe you’d see that I was never as strong as I tried to believe myself to be?

If you only knew how many times I replay back that night and look for things that could’ve been done differently, maybe we both could’ve grown from this and come out of it with a stronger friendship in the end?

If you only knew I’m hanging by a thread the web I spin for you, maybe you’d recognize those were actually Shinedown lyrics (to lighten the mood, you know)?

If you only knew that there was so much you never let me explain and that everything was just a big misunderstanding, well…maybe we could’ve still been friends?

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

Differences Are Beautiful!

Just me with the semi-regular reminder that Miraculous Fanworks is still NOT an inclusive and welcoming Discord community for neurodivergent people.

I am committed to continually spreading this message and making sure that my fellow neurodivergent friends find communities that will embrace their differences rather than villainize them.

As always, feel free to ask me about my experience. I’m open to sharing everything, if that’s what it takes.

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

Birthday Wishes

It’s like…all I want for my birthday is for my former friend to reach out to me again and say “You know what, I needed time but now I hope we can work through this.”

I want this so bad that it actually manifested into my dreams last night. In my dream, he sent me a long Discord message that I’d only partially read, but he began by wishing me a happy birthday and saying that he’d missed talking with me. For a short moment, I was so happy because I thought that Discord message could be real. It won’t be, though. He’s too caught up in the misunderstanding to even reach out to me and work through everything. ☹️

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

Sure nice…

Sure nice that a server handing down an irreversible ban did so due to bias by the former “head admin”. If she didn’t like you, she would find reasons to remove you from “her server”. Even if those reasons involved things that didn’t take place on the server itself and were reactions seeped in misunderstandings where only one person (the one receiving consequence, in this case) had the full story, because it’s…

Sure nice of the admin team to take action based on one side of a story without taking time to learn more about the issue. Rather than seeing that there was more to the story that was not known, they chose to act based on prior circumstances…which were unrelated.

Sure nice of the server admin to believe that someone who was a member of multiple teams (writing, newsletter, social media) would do anything to jeopardize the opportunity to be a part of those teams.

Sure nice that one can apparently only make one major mistake for their entire time in the server. After one mistake (for all eternity!), that’s it and there’s no chance to ever come back to be a part of the community. Mistakes are a natural part of being human and it is the way we learn. I’m a teacher—ask me all about the learning process! Our mistakes show us our shortcomings. There is no progress without mistakes.

Sure nice that this particular server uses a policy that does not acknowledge that people can change after receiving consequence. Maybe the policy worked in the past when the server was smaller, but when you operate with a larger fan base, you have to accept that people are different. Circumstances are different. If you are going to lead a server, you need to acknowledge them and accept when someone seeks atonement for the past (especially when bans are leveled for misunderstandings and failure to gather information).

Sure nice that the server admin model their appeal process after the offline judicial system. (Sorry, that was sarcasm!) Trials in front of judges are not just “one-and-done” appeals. EVERYONE has right to a fair trial, whether it’s the first or thousandth…because cases are different and information should be gathered and judged to determine if someone has truly learned from their consequence. Otherwise, what is the point of handing down a consequence? It’s not a teachable moment. It’s branding that you are a horrible person and not worthy of a spot in the community. Server admin teams should NEVER feel that discussing a ban appeal is just time-consuming and not worth it. If you are going to lead a server, then this is just one of the many parts of your “job”. You owe it to your community to determine if someone has truly changed and should be welcomed again to join your group.

Sure nice that when someone offers feedback to the leaders of this particular server, they run it immediately through a metaphorical shredder. Sure nice that someone can offer feedback, in good faith, and then be villainized for it behind their back…simply because that someone is seen—to them—to be a “bad person who will never change” and they must have a dark goal of coming back to the server and emotionally hurting people. Sure nice that they treat anyone not among their server elite (admin and mod teams) this way…How many other good fandom community members have they villainized over these last four years?

Sure nice that the server leadership team members actually advocate when things need changed. (Oh, I’m sorry…that was sarcasm too…) When feedback is brought one-on-one to members of the admin team, they’re quick to admit it’s a good suggestion, but yet nothing comes about from it because—even after major leadership changes—the admin team is too stuck in old ways that just hurt others who fall outside their typical demographic (neurodivergent friends in the fandom, be aware!)

Sure nice that this very same server came under fire over the summer. That issue was also due to server leadership’s failure to act and accept that changes are needed. Changes were made after that, but it seems more needs to be taken into account because, as it is right now, Miraculous Fanworks is not the fandom community that it claims to be. They are not accepting of the unique diversity of fan creators. They do not care that mistakes are a natural part of being human and that consequence should be used as a learning experience rather than an irreversible punishment. They are quick to level permanent consequences rather than accept that such methods might very well need a look at and updated. Their leadership turns blind eyes to larger problems within their community…such as the hypocrisy of the “head admin” banning someone for “guiltripping, manipulation, and backhanded comments” when she had done the same (and even worse, in some cases!) but is granted immunity due to her “server elite” status. (To add, I have NEVER been banned from ANY OTHER community in all the years I’ve been interacting online, which leads me to believe that the bias of the head admin plays a part here, ESPECIALLY since her comments have always been leaning much more into that territory of being manipulative and backhanded!)

My neurodivergent friends, I implore you, run far away from Miraculous Fanworks and find a community that is ready to accept who you are and the beautiful diversity that your differences bring to our fandom community!

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

ML Secret Santa!

Coming down to the wire, but this story expanded into a much longer oneshot than I originally planned…

Anyway, @rice—nomnom (I apologize because it seems that the tag does not want to work for me…), I was your Secret Santa for this year’s @mlsecretsanta! I hope you enjoy this long LadyNoir enemies-to-lovers…featuring only one bed!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

Not going to lie…at this point, I don’t know who has or hasn’t been tagged, so…have fun with it if you want to join! 😆

ahh thank you for the tag @ashstfu

come decorate my tree!!

tagging: @runsea @soupra @cowgirlrising @ahsteria @rosie-b @literaphobe @soheki @meraale @rosiesaredand anyone else who wants to!!! tag me if u do it i want to add messages onto your trees :D

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

Merry (Almost) Christmas!

If you’d like, feel free to leave me messages! Plus, if I see your link, I’ll leave you a message too!

[ladybugs-and-black-cats]

I take back absolutely every negative thing I said about alternate Adrien’s design prior to the release of the special. He is absolutely perfect and MUST be protected! 💚

Can we talk about how shy emodrien was. Like dude was stunned!

Not only did he just find out who Shadybug was, she also kicked his feet out from underhim, and handcuffed him!

The girl he has been crushing on has his tied up on the floor of her alternate selves room.

And he is just a shy teenager who is to nervous to speak.

He is like 💕👀💕 me Adrien Agreste? Yeah I might me.... 👉👈 are you okay with that.....oh, you're not...🥺