laurasimonsdaughter

[laurasimonsdaughter]

What is the general themes/image you prefer to use when writing about vampires?

For me I prefer using vampires as murderers, abusers, and other forms of social predators. Those who drain the life out of other people for their own twisted desire’s, hiding behind a guise of normality until they find a vulnerable victim to stick their fangs into. Vampires happily killing/ harming/ and exploiting others around them with no remorse as they drain the life from their victims to fulfill their bottomless bloodthirst. Becoming a vampire is no accident in my worlds, a very deliberate act which requires the blood sacrifice of another’s life for the “reward” that is vampirism.

I've never really thought about it in terms of imagery, but I suppose that in my modern urban fantasy worlds society usually treats vampires an people with special needs that can be accommodated with some effort.

My writing is usually quite optimistic at heart, so I'm not likely to write anyone as naturally evil. But I have written a world in which there are vampires who believe themselves above humans while most vampires increasingly try to live peacefully among humans and make use of things like blood banks. But the tension between peaceful and violent vampires is still very present. (This is also why I would not consider the way I write vampires as mapping to a narrative of disability or chronic illness, because while it does have elements of that, I personally can't divorce vampires from the need to feed on the life of other humans and I don't want that anywhere near a disability analogy.)

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Setups for werewolf stories:

• Character A and the werewolf have known each other for ages but the werewolf has always repressed their werewolfism with a potion, except they've just run out of ingredients.

• Character B is a monster hunter who has never encountered a real (human almost all of the time) werewolf before.

• Character C is a park ranger and notices tracks they can't identify and they are very invested in finding out what made them.

• Character D is a new friend of the werewolf and the werewolf hasn't dared to tell them yet.

• Character E is new in town and gets a very warm welcome from a large, rowdy family with some very peculiar habits, hair styles and attention for the phase of the moon.

• Character F meets a new arrival in town and after the first full moon notices that the door to their place seems to have been forced open so they go to help.

• Character G has some kind of heightened senses or magical insight that immediately tells them character H is a werewolf when they meet them, but they want to respect their privacy and desperately pretend not to notice

• Character I is a potion maker and the werewolf comes to them for help to develop a potion that makes their transformation easier to handle

Please feel free to add your own!

[laurasimonsdaughter]

What if Disney adapted Dick Whittington?

Oh no, this has DreamWorks written all over it. Dick Whittington himself is reduced to a funny flash back, the cat gets the full Puss In Boots treatment and Puss does a cameo appearance to tie the new movie into the Shrek universe.

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Dear magisowo,

Is there any legal and safe way to get "cursed" into being an animal forever? I'm tired of being a person and would rather live the rest of my life as a bird. A plain animal, NOT a were creature (they are lovely folks but I don't want the responsibilities of being a person and am not interested in shifting back to a human form).

- tired creature

Dear tired creature,

The simple answer to your question is no, there is neither a legal nor a safe way to be permanently transformed into an animal. The more important answer, we think, is that it is magically impossible for you to be changed in such a way, whether it be through curse, blessing or charm.

You are a person, with all the glorious good and aching bad that entails. That cannot be changed. There is a reason why transformation curses are generally so easily broken and why shape changing magic wears off over time. Your shape may be changed, but underneath the feathers it will still be you. Your mind, your wishes, your knowledge, there isn't any magic strong enough to permanently force that into a different shape. Some people do look profoundly different after such magic wears off, but they always return to what they never truly ceased to be: people.

So, we cannot give you the answer you probably hoped for. But if you'd ever like to talk about those exhausting responsibilities of personhood, our doors are always open.

Affectionately,

~ the MagiSoWo Team

[laurasimonsdaughter]

To the anons with the werewolf, vampire and magisowo asks: I've read them, I treasure them, I just cannot answer right now. I will get to them when life allows me <3

[laurasimonsdaughter]

I can’t get over this funny idea for werewolves and if thought I’d share it. The idea about some werewolves trying to “live wild” and failing miserably.

Their being a social movement of werewolves believing that they need to “return to nature” so they can “get in touch with their beast side”. Going out into the woods trying to live as a wild wolf… and failing absolutely miserably at it to the point of giving up. Getting hopelessly lost in the woods, comedically failing to catch any kind of prey, and other antics that cause them to just give up on the whole idea. That they believe their shapeshifting & wolf instinct will hard carry them, not realizing that wilderness survival is skill set that takes both humans and wolves a life’s time to master.

Ha, very werewolf-transcendentalist.

I imagine that this concerns werewolves that can shapeshift at will, and therefore decide to stay in primarily in wolf shape, with varying levels of success. It would probably be a very popular thing to do, especially for young werewolves still figuring themselves out, or werewolves who feel stuck in their ways and wish for change.

Other werewolves would probably give it a name like Reverse Shifting - because they spend more time in wolf shape than in human shape -and talk about it the same way they would if their family member/colleague/neighbor had decided to upend their life to go live in one of those trendy converted vans.

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Another early 18th century literary fairy tale from the mysterious Comtesse D.L., this time one that begs for a sapphic reading:

The Princess Patientine in the Forest of Erimente

(La Princesse Patientine dans la Forest d’Erimente, published in: Les Chevaliers Errans et le Génie familier par Madame la Comtesse D***, 1709; translated by B. Stableford in: The Tyranny of the Fays Abolished, 2018, Black Coat Press.)

A cruel, greedy ogre named Insacio learns from the goddess Avarice that if he could get the princess Patientine in his power, he would become the richest of all ogres. To this end he disguises himself as a handsome prince and goes to court her. The princess and her mother the queen are charmed by him, but:

Patientine had a very strong amity for a young woman of her court named Espritée. She held the first place in her heart as she held it by her rank with regard to the queen, and she did not hide anything from her. She confided to her the nascent tenderness she had for Insacio.

Espritée fears her beloved princess’s unhappiness and tries to convince her not to accept the false prince’s proposals. But because the queen and princess Patientine both wish for the marriage, she drops her opposition and instead insists on accompanying the princess to her marital home. That home turns out to be the ogre’s horrible lair, teaching the princess how cruelly she was deceived by her new husband. She is put to work gathering herbs, brewing potions, spinning and overseeing the people he forces to dig for treasure. All the ogre cares about is her bringing him riches, not allowing her a moment’s rest:

He found her lying at the foot of a tree conversing with her dear Espritée. The furious ogre vomited all the most horrible insults at the unfortunate princess and swore to take away the only consolation she had by sending Espritée away. He would have done so right away had it not been for the fear that the young woman might tell the queen about her daughter’s woes.

Espritée stays however, until princess Patientine is discovered by Prince Courageous, who had met her at her mother’s court and had always had a preference for her. He professes his love for her, but Patientine responds with nothing but “discretion” (because she is married). However, finding her maltreated and exploited by such a cruel monster of a husband the prince wants to rescue her and asks Espritée how it might be done. Espritée tells him they ought not just to alert the queen, but also the powerful fay Clementine, who is a relative of Patientine’s. So they set off together.

The princess did not learn about her friend’s departure without chagrin, and could not understand what had obliged her to leave her, knowing the tender amity that she had for her.

The ogre’s cruelty to Patientine increases, but meanwhile Prince Courageous and Espritée arrive at the palace of the fay Clementine, who tells them she needs time to prepare the rescue of the princess. (Courageous and Espritée spend most of their time talking about Patientine, despite being offered magical entertainment.) Finally the fay declares:

“Espritée,” she said, “my charms are ready; it requires no less power than mine to extract Patientine from Insacio’s irons. He has employed all the art of Hell to form an enchantment that renders her invisible to our eyes; Avarice has given him advice, but I shall render his power useless and render the princess to you. Let us depart right away, in order to arrive at his tenebrous abode at sunrise. And you, Prince Courageous, forget your valor, and without using your arms to vanquish the monsters—they would be impotent against them—leave me the care of breaking Patientine’s chains.”

Espritée is impatient to see the princess again and when they arrive at the ogre’s lair the fay’s dazzling splendour makes Patientine drop the heavy cauldron she is holding. The fay turns the water into an endless stream, that turns to gold on the ground of the cave, making the troll wild with greed when he rushes towards the commotion. He picks up the gold “without perceiving the Fay, the prince or Espritée, who was holding the princess in her arms”. As soon as he touches the gold it turns back into water, running through his fingers.

The fay curses him to stay there forever, trying to gather gold he cannot touch, takes all his deadly power from him, and proclaims that he will lose the princess because his cruelty towards her has made him unworthy of possessing her. (That he married her under false pretences is not mentioned, nor that he is an ogre while she is human.)

The fay takes Patientine, Espritée and Courageous back to the court of Patientine’s mother the queen, who is overjoyed to see her beloved daughter again and has nothing but gratitude for Clementine, caresses for Espritée and esteem for Courageous. The tale then ends:

After having heaped the charming Patientine with benefits, the fay returned to her palace. Courageous remained at the court of the Queen of Lydia, and, adapting his passion to the virtue of the princess, adored her in secret. Espritée shared the fay’s gifts with Patientine, and, charmed to have her with her, knew no greater happiness than being loved by Clementine and her dear princess.

Interestingly this story is part of a framing narrative (The Familiar Spirit) in which a Persian woman is imprisoned by a jealous husband and wishes she had a sylph for a lover (much like the beginning of Marie de France’s Yonec). The tale of Princess Patientine, who is also mistreated by her husband, is a manuscript left by the sylph to amuse her in his absence.

The translator, Brian Stableford remarks that while the plot of an innocent young woman being married to a monster is "par for the course" for this style of 18th century conte de fée, the treatment of Prince Courageous and the ending with the focus on Patientine and Espritée certainly is not:

Tales produced at Louis XIV’s court, whether in writing or in action, were not usually allowed to end like that because it was not an ending to which royal and customary privilege was usually granted, but that one sneaked in in disguise.

I did notice that in the Comtesse D.L.'s other stories most of the female protagonists, whether they are married or single, have a female companion they love dearly, who is their only consolation during their inevitable plot-relevant suffering. But none of the companions seem as proactive as Espritée and only Patientine ends up free to reject both her evil and her worthy suitors in favour of staying with their dearest companion. The Familiar Spirit seems unfinished, but the story of Patientine is complete and thereby forms the end of the collection. So perhaps the Comtesse was simply working her way up to this particular kind of happy ending <3

[laurasimonsdaughter]

What if Disney adapted Brother Lustig?

Mm, I don't much care for the Grimms' Bruder Lustig (Brother Merry). It feels like five folktales in a trench coat, and while that is a time honoured tradition for the "travel to find your fortune" kind of story I wouldn't know how to adapt it into anything but a rather incoherent miniseries.

It also isn't particularly fun to me. It shares many details with The Soldier and Death, but I much prefer that story to Bruder Lustig. That soldier is a more compelling protagonist to me (he's less greedy), there's no dead children in it, and the bittersweet ending packs more of a punch (even if conning your way into heaven is an objectively cool thing to do, I have to give Bruder Lustig that).

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Another early 18th century literary fairy tale from the mysterious Comtesse D.L., this time one that begs for a sapphic reading:

The Princess Patientine in the Forest of Erimente

(La Princesse Patientine dans la Forest d’Erimente, published in: Les Chevaliers Errans et le Génie familier par Madame la Comtesse D***, 1709; translated by B. Stableford in: The Tyranny of the Fays Abolished, 2018, Black Coat Press.)

A cruel, greedy ogre named Insacio learns from the goddess Avarice that if he could get the princess Patientine in his power, he would become the richest of all ogres. To this end he disguises himself as a handsome prince and goes to court her. The princess and her mother the queen are charmed by him, but:

Patientine had a very strong amity for a young woman of her court named Espritée. She held the first place in her heart as she held it by her rank with regard to the queen, and she did not hide anything from her. She confided to her the nascent tenderness she had for Insacio.

Espritée fears her beloved princess’s unhappiness and tries to convince her not to accept the false prince’s proposals. But because the queen and princess Patientine both wish for the marriage, she drops her opposition and instead insists on accompanying the princess to her marital home. That home turns out to be the ogre’s horrible lair, teaching the princess how cruelly she was deceived by her new husband. She is put to work gathering herbs, brewing potions, spinning and overseeing the people he forces to dig for treasure. All the ogre cares about is her bringing him riches, not allowing her a moment’s rest:

He found her lying at the foot of a tree conversing with her dear Espritée. The furious ogre vomited all the most horrible insults at the unfortunate princess and swore to take away the only consolation she had by sending Espritée away. He would have done so right away had it not been for the fear that the young woman might tell the queen about her daughter’s woes.

Espritée stays however, until princess Patientine is discovered by Prince Courageous, who had met her at her mother’s court and had always had a preference for her. He professes his love for her, but Patientine responds with nothing but “discretion” (because she is married). However, finding her maltreated and exploited by such a cruel monster of a husband the prince wants to rescue her and asks Espritée how it might be done. Espritée tells him they ought not just to alert the queen, but also the powerful fay Clementine, who is a relative of Patientine’s. So they set off together.

The princess did not learn about her friend’s departure without chagrin, and could not understand what had obliged her to leave her, knowing the tender amity that she had for her.

The ogre’s cruelty to Patientine increases, but meanwhile Prince Courageous and Espritée arrive at the palace of the fay Clementine, who tells them she needs time to prepare the rescue of the princess. (Courageous and Espritée spend most of their time talking about Patientine, despite being offered magical entertainment.) Finally the fay declares:

“Espritée,” she said, “my charms are ready; it requires no less power than mine to extract Patientine from Insacio’s irons. He has employed all the art of Hell to form an enchantment that renders her invisible to our eyes; Avarice has given him advice, but I shall render his power useless and render the princess to you. Let us depart right away, in order to arrive at his tenebrous abode at sunrise. And you, Prince Courageous, forget your valor, and without using your arms to vanquish the monsters—they would be impotent against them—leave me the care of breaking Patientine’s chains.”

Espritée is impatient to see the princess again and when they arrive at the ogre’s lair the fay’s dazzling splendour makes Patientine drop the heavy cauldron she is holding. The fay turns the water into an endless stream, that turns to gold on the ground of the cave, making the troll wild with greed when he rushes towards the commotion. He picks up the gold “without perceiving the Fay, the prince or Espritée, who was holding the princess in her arms”. As soon as he touches the gold it turns back into water, running through his fingers.

The fay curses him to stay there forever, trying to gather gold he cannot touch, takes all his deadly power from him, and proclaims that he will lose the princess because his cruelty towards her has made him unworthy of possessing her. (That he married her under false pretences is not mentioned, nor that he is an ogre while she is human.)

The fay takes Patientine, Espritée and Courageous back to the court of Patientine’s mother the queen, who is overjoyed to see her beloved daughter again and has nothing but gratitude for Clementine, caresses for Espritée and esteem for Courageous. The tale then ends:

After having heaped the charming Patientine with benefits, the fay returned to her palace. Courageous remained at the court of the Queen of Lydia, and, adapting his passion to the virtue of the princess, adored her in secret. Espritée shared the fay’s gifts with Patientine, and, charmed to have her with her, knew no greater happiness than being loved by Clementine and her dear princess.

Interestingly this story is part of a framing narrative (The Familiar Spirit) in which a Persian woman is imprisoned by a jealous husband and wishes she had a sylph for a lover (much like the beginning of Marie de France’s Yonec). The tale of Princess Patientine, who is also mistreated by her husband, is a manuscript left by the sylph to amuse her in his absence.

The translator, Brian Stableford remarks that while the plot of an innocent young woman being married to a monster is "par for the course" for this style of 18th century conte de fée, the treatment of Prince Courageous and the ending with the focus on Patientine and Espritée certainly is not:

Tales produced at Louis XIV’s court, whether in writing or in action, were not usually allowed to end like that because it was not an ending to which royal and customary privilege was usually granted, but that one sneaked in in disguise.

I did notice that in the Comtesse D.L.'s other stories most of the female protagonists, whether they are married or single, have a female companion they love dearly, who is their only consolation during their inevitable plot-relevant suffering. But none of the companions seem as proactive as Espritée and only Patientine ends up free to reject both her evil and her worthy suitors in favour of staying with their dearest companion. The Familiar Spirit seems unfinished, but the story of Patientine is complete and thereby forms the end of the collection. So perhaps the Comtesse was simply working her way up to this particular kind of happy ending <3

[laurasimonsdaughter]

I found a literary fairy tale from 1703 to add to my “can be read as aroace” collection!

Its translator, Brian Stableford, points out that this particular tale seems to be “interrupted and aborted”, and it does indeed seem to be missing the ending it was set up for. But it was still published in this form and as it is, the aromantic vibes are simply beautiful:

Prince Curious

(Prince Curieux, published in: La Tyranie des fées détruite, nouveaux contes, dédiez à Madame la Duchesse de Bourgogne par la Comtesse D.L., 1703; translated by B. Stableford in: The Tyranny of the Fays Abolished, 2018, Black Coat Press.)

The court of the magnificent fay Prodigal is the most elegant in all of Asia, and her greatest favourite at this court is Princess Modest. One day there is a tournament at the court and a strange knight appears called Prince Curious. He is clad in brilliant armor and carrying a shield that is decorated with a portrait of Princess Modest. He defeats the reigning champion of the tournament and immediately presents his prize to Princess Modest, who reluctantly accepts it.

The rest of the court is extremely taken with Prince Curious however, including Prodigal, and he explains to her that he has the favour of a foreign fay, who showed him all the beauties of the earth - in a magic mirror - so that he might choose a lover to strive for. She also showed him Prodigal, but as always Modest was with her, and the prince fell for her instead. This dismayed the fay and she warned him that he’d be sacrificing his life and, when he insisted on his choice, warned him that he could never be loved without making himself hated. She then provided him with the splendid armor with Modest’s portrait and sent him on his way.

Prodigal is touched by his story and declares that she is sure Modest will not reject him, but Modest does not return his feelings:

From that day on, Prince Curios did not waste a moment in making known to the princess the violent amour that he had for her; but he experienced only too well what the fay had predicted: she received all the services he rendered her with civility, but her heart had no part in it.

One day Prodigal asks Modest if her heart truly isn’t touched by the prince and Modest replies:

“I admit to you Madame, that like everyone else, I can see the Prince’s good qualities, and that I’m obliged to him for the services he renders me, but I feel nothing more. My heart conserves its indifference; and I would tell you more Madame, if I did not fear seeming ridiculous. I am annoyed that everybody finds too much merit in him and has no inclination to excuse me for the injustice that I am rendering him.”

Prodigal reacts with surprise, arguing that Modest won't be able to find any other prince more perfect or more passionate.

“I merit everything you say,” Madame, said Modest, “but it is not in my power to have other sentiments for him.”

Now the very birds in the trees begin to speak, foretelling that Modest will “pass from the strongest hatred to the most sensible tenderness for the unfortunate prince”.

“What!” cried Modest. “I even hear animals talking about the object of my indifference, and I cannot have one moment without him giving me some proof of an amour that is odious to me! Oh, I’m beginning to feel hatred; and I can’t guarantee that I won’t banish him from my presence if he doesn’t leave me in peace!”

Next a voice from the water of the stream warns her that she cannot flee her destiny and Modest has had enough. When Prince Curious approaches her again she tells him:

“Prince, all of nature is rising against me in your favour. I even know that I am wrong not to recognize your amour; you merit an entire heart; but with all that knowledge I can do nothing for you, and if my repose is dear to you and it is true that you are only in this court for me, withdraw and never see me again. I know that I will be criticized for such an ungrateful procedure, but it is necessary that I have entire obligation from you and that you ask the princess for leave to go without speaking to me again.”

Prince Curious is so wounded by this that he asks his fay benefactress to help him become invisible so that he may “see my princess without displeasing her”. She sends him a magic ring he must carry in his mouth to become invisible, but warns him against forgetting himself. The Prince then immediately uses the ring to sneak into Modest’s bedroom at night. But he accidentally drops the ring, becoming visible and waking the princess, who screams at the sight of a man beside her bed.

“What makes you bold enough, she said, on recognizing him, “to come and trouble my repose, and what design brings you to my bedroom at such an hour?” Anger prevented her from saying any more. The prince took that opportunity to justify himself. “I came to your apartment,” he said to her, “to tell you that, far from your eyes, I will make a sacrifice to you of my life, since you do not want to be witness to it.” “Shut up,” interjected Modest. “Go so far from this place that I never hear your name pronounced in my presence again. I forbid you to take your life; your torture would be too mild. It is necessary, to satisfy my hatred, that you are unhappy for a long time. But above all, never appear before my eyes; after your insolence, I cannot see you without horror.”

After fainting and making Modest fear that he will be discovered in her bedroom, ruining her reputation, the prince finally recovers and leaves her be. She spends the night lying awake, furious with the prince and temporarily inconsolable from “the shame of having been seen in a state so little in conformity with her name and her humor”.

Prince Curious meanwhile is inconsolable at having “offended his princess without any hope of pardon”, but decides that since he has the ring he can still stay invisibly at the court. The tale ends with him remembering that:

The fay had predicted that he would never be happy until he was hated, and he hoped that this adventure might perhaps be the commencement of his happiness.

But there is no more of this story, nor any note of explanation at its abrupt end. The translator speculates that it was abandoned because Prince Curious had lost all knightly decency by sneaking into the princess’s bedroom. It might well be that the Comtesse D.L. had simply written herself into a corner and decided not to bother finishing her story. But it was included in her publication. And leaving the story open-ended, with the narration sounding at least equally sympathetic towards the beleaguered princess as the lovelorn prince, gives us leave to hope that Curious will find someone else to love and be loved by, so Modest can have tranquility restored to her formerly charmed life at Prodigal's court.

[laurasimonsdaughter]

This has to be the biggest amount of books I have ever bought in one go by a mile. Shout-out to Black Coat Press for publishing actually complete collections of the literary fairy tales written by the French salonnières of the 17th century. And to Brian Stableford for translating them with so much love and care.

Can you believe this is the first time ever I have access to all Madame d'Aulnoy's fairy tales??

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Hello! I've got a fairy tale question for you.

So the thing I'm writing is set in 1911 Boston, and I had a character (who's having a bit of a breakdown atm) reference the Velveteen Rabbit (as a like, if I loved hard enough can I make my gay love work out*). Only, I looked it up, and tragically it was not written until 1922!!!

Do you know of any (probably children's?) stories that would have been available around, say 1890, that use a similar trope of loving something so hard it becomes real?

> Little Mermaid has the most similar vibes I'm going for, but unfortunately she turns into like, a spirit at the end and won't be a human for a while

> Pinnocchio comes to mind, bit while it's the right time period he gets to be a real boy by doing good deeds

I know I must be missing something!!! Thank you (and any followers!) for your ideas ♡♡♡

*they do not work out because they're like, 19, and the world is hard for them in different ways they're having trouble communicating about

Hmmm, I'm not very well versed in children's literature and in folklore this is not a very common motif. The only two I can think of off the top of my head are:

Ovid's account of the myth of Pygmalion the sculptor, who falls in love with his own statue, which is then brought to life by Venus in answer to his prayers. This inspired many literary works. (You'd at least be certain this was around in 1890.)

The (presumably) Romanian folktale "Slawa", in which a doll comes to life seemingly because the childless couple who make her love her so much. (You can download my translation here, but I found it in a book from 1977 without a proper source and I have no idea how old this story actually is.)

I would also like to point out that in Andersen's The Little Mermaid, tragically, if the prince had loved her like a wife instead of like a child and would have married her, she would have gained the "immortal soul" she wishes for and would have essentially become human. (Like most of Andersen's stories, this plot makes me both very uncomfortable and very very sad for Andersen.)

If anyone else has suggestions, please feel free to comment or reblog!

[laurasimonsdaughter]

I thought I might write something spooky and touching about a kelpie accidentally picking up a ghost haunting his beach (you know, the traditional tragically drowned bride or strandvaskare lost at sea), but I can't seem to make this concept anything but deeply sad...

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Suppose the Wicked Queen had simply tried turning Snow White ugly instead of outright trying to kill her?

Mmm, the wicked stepmother queen from Andersen's The Wild Swans gave that a try, and it didn't really work out for her. But then again she just wanted Elisa out of the way, and she did manage to get her banished.

The Grimm's version of Snow White, which is the one that inspired most current retellings is rather shaky to begin with. The king disappears mid story without explanation and Snow White is explicitly stated to be 7 years old at the point that she becomes more beautiful than the queen, which is just odd. (Other variants of this tale where the king is still around and tries to save his daughter, or where the Snow White in question is not the queen's daughter at all but just a pretty girl the king/count took a sudden liking to feel more narratively coherent.)

But at least the Grimm queen has the advantage that she only has a magic mirror and poisons at her disposal, she's not a full-on witch like the Disney one. Seeing what the Disney one can do it really feels like she might have just turned Snow White into a dove or something.

Which, if you know fairy tales, of course wouldn't have stopped her from meeting a prince, getting disenchanted and marrying him. But it would probably bypass the seven dwarves, so that would have been a shame.

[laurasimonsdaughter]

A flock of seagulls screeched overhead, providing very unwanted backing vocals to the screaming of the flailing young man that was currently being hauled towards the shore by a particularly ill-tempered selkie.

“Seabed below, could you please cooperate!” she snapped, beating her tail against the waves. “I am trying to help you!” It was hard enough to swim half transformed like this, let alone having to use both arms to keep hold of this panicking idiot.

At long last she reached shallower waters. Shallow enough at least, to safely let go of the human.

“There!” she cried, heaving him in the general direction of the beach. “Get yourself ashore!

He flailed some more for a few moments, screaming his head off and thrashing in the shallow water, until he realised he could stand and began wading frantically to the shore.

The selkie watched him go with exasperation. “You’re welcome,” she barked after him, and then pulled her pelt back up over her head and dove back into the waves.

She did not show her human face again until she had reached her favourite rock. A nice, big, flat one, that rose just above sea level. Arms were helpful in pulling yourself out of the water. The selkie flopped comfortably on her stomach, her lower half still in the foamy water, determined to still enjoy at least something of the early morning. It had been such a nice morning, before all the screaming, with the wisps of mist that drew from the sea towards the shore only barely dissolving.

It was not to be, however. She had barely folded her suntanned arms under her head, or an annoyingly familiar shape came through the faint haze of the last morning mist. A black mare, the gate of her hooves as smooth as poetry and her manes dark like the night. Kicking up and trampling pebbles under gleaming black hooves the horse charged across the beach and straight into the water. The selkie watched the proud head disappear beneath the waves with narrowed eyes. A moment later there was a splash of water beside her rock and two pale hands gripped its slick edge.

The selkie met the sea-green eyes of the transforming kelpie with a scowl. In the grey light of morning her skin seemed almost silvery, but she knew the lighting didn't matter, her frustrating kelpie companion always looked equally and annoyingly beautiful.

“I swear, if I have to rescue one more of your stupid victims—” she growled.

“Good morning to you too,” the kelpie tutted, arranging herself on the rock with an effortless grace the selkie felt she never possessed while she had human limbs.

“I mean it,” she snapped. “That was the third one this week!”

She was sick and tired of it. You’d think humans would eventually learn, but they never did. There was always someone stupid enough to mistake the kelpie for a normal horse and anyone foolish enough to climb onto her back got galloped straight into the sea. She didn’t actually hurt them, she just left them to splash around, but only very few of them managed to swim back to the shore on their own. Most of them needed help. Help that usually took the form of a very annoyed selkie.

The kelpie grinned, teeth gleaming in the pale light of morning. “You don’t have to rescue them.”

“I like my sea free of screaming humans, thanks,” the selkie grunted. “Seriously. Can’t you give it a rest for a while?”

“I would, but they make it so easy,” the kelpie grinned. “Besides, if I stop, who knows how long I’d have to wait for you to come and chat to me again…” She winked and slid off the rock back into the water. The silky ripple of the kelpie’s long, black hair fanned out wide and seemed to stain her skin until a moment later a beautiful black horse raised her head up above the water.

The selkie gave a furious scoff, jumping out of her pelt in order to stand up, tracking the dark shape in the water with her eyes. “You came to see me!” she yelled after the equine form galloping triumphantly into the sea foam. “You always do!”

There was no reply. Just a distinctive kelpie laugh, sounding loud and neighing across the waves.

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Crying pearls in folklore

I've always loved the concept of tears turning to pearls. It shows up scattered across various folklore traditions, but I never realised how often it is linked to laughter that turns to roses, until I stared actively collecting them. I've got 9 so far, and also some interesting variations on the theme!

● Woud and Freid (Bavaria Germany, collected by Schönwerth in the 1850s). A variation on the saga about Freya and Odin, one account written in the 14th century, in which Freya/Freid gets a magnificent necklace by sleeping with the dwarves who made it. The powerful Woud leaves his equally powerful wife Freid for this infidelity, causing her to weep pearls while she searches for him. When she finds him she has wept as many pearls as there were in the necklace. They reconcile.

�� Pearl Tears (Bavaria Germany, collected by Schönwerth in the 1850s). A girl, Maria, has the Virgin Mary for her godmother. After staying with her for a while she goes home to her father and step family and finds out she now cries pearls and laughs roses. After escaping their abuse the Virgin Mary gives her a castle to live in and she spends her days helping the ill and the poor.

● Rose Laughter and Pearl Tears (Muradina nail olmayan dilber [The beauty who did not gain her fortune], Turkey, collected by Saim Sakaoglu in the 1960's). The gifts of this heroine are roses when she laughs, pearls when she cries, grass growing wherever she walks, and her bath water turns to gold when she's done. She goes through a false bride/true bride plot that ends in a Sleeping Beauty plot before she is woken and married.

● The Goose-Girl at the Well (Die Gänsehirtin am Brunnen, Germany, printed by the Grimms in 1815.) In this story the youngest of three princesses is born weeping pearls and gems. She is driven away by her father after saying she loves him like she loves salt, but is found by a young count while she tends the geese for a wise woman, and reunited with her sorrowful parents.

● The Three Gifts, (Poland, from: Folk-Lore and Legends: Russian and Polish, 1890). A mistreated stepdaughter gives alms to an old man and is blessed by three mysterious young men to have her tears turn to pearls, her laughter produce roses, and to have golden fish appear in whatever water she touches. The girl's stepsister gets cursed like in Diamonds and Toads/The Two Fairies and a false/true bride plot follows. [Almost identical to Tears of Pearls, from: Fairy Tales of the Slav Peasants and Herdsmen, 1896. (Thank you @rabbitwhiterabbit!)]

● The Golden Duck (Die Goldne Ente, Germany and/or Czechia, from: Jacob Grimm's 1810 handwritten manuscript, at least partly based on a literary version of the tale in Sagen der böhmischen Vorzeit, 1808. Available in Dutch as a footnote to The White and the Black Bride.) A woman with one daughter takes in her orphaned niece and nephew. One day a good fairy disguised as an old woman asks for hospitality and rewards them for their kind treatment of her. The foster daughter gets blessed above all: her tears will turn to pearls, she will comb gold thread from her hair, and her saliva turns to silver. She must be veiled and protected against fresh air to keep the magic intact however. What follows is a rather complicated version of the "true bride switched for false bride" plot.

● The Sisters Who Envied Their Cadette (Histoire des deux sœurs jalouses de leur cadette, from Antoine Galland’s French One Tousand and One Nights, collected from 18th century Syrian storyteller Hanna Diyab). The ruler of Persia overhears three sisters talking, the youngest of them declares that if she got to marry the king she would give him a child with hair of gold and silver, their tears will become pearls and whenever they smile, rosebuds will appear. It happens like she predicts, but her envious sisters steal the baby and fairy tale (mis)fortune ensues. [Thank you @tattedpetticoats!]

● The Snake (La Biscia, Italy, composed by Italo Calvino in the 1950's from a Piedmontese and Tuscan variant of Straparola's literary fairy tale Biancabella and the Serpent). A snake blesses a kind farmer's daughter with three charms: shedding tears of pearl and silver, shedding golden pomegranate seeds when she laughs and producing fish of every kind when she washes her hands. Her envious sisters see to it she is locked up in the attic, but a magic pomegranate tree grows from the seeds of her laughter and the prince wishes to marry whoever can pick its fruits. The sisters try to kill and take their younger sister's place, but of course she prevails. [Thank you @m-siecle!]

The Rose-laughing Queen (A Rózsát Nevető Királykisasszony, Hungarian, many variants exist.). A princess who weeps pearls, laughs roses and leaves gold where she steps is betrayed and abandoned on the way to her fiancée the prince, and switched with a witches' daughter. She is saved by a kind gardener, becomes a maid to the false bride, and is revealed when the bride hits her and she weeps pearls in front of the prince. [Thank you @susannaius!]

Stories I've seen mentioned have this motif but that I haven't found yet:

Apparently some Polynesian mythology features gods crying pearls.

Chinese folklore to do with jiaoren and dragons is referred to as concerning tears and pearls.

The Golden Girl, from Uzbekistan.

The Maiden Who Laughs Roses and Weeps Pearls, from Greece, indexed by Jack Zipes.

The relatively new ATU tale type The Blinded Bride includes the heroine producing gold, jewels, flowers or pearls from her body in some way, including crying. (Research by C. Goldberg.)

A Persian/Iranian tale indexed by Ulrich Marzolph under type 403, Die Mädchen Blumenlacher.

Several variants of the tale type "The Maiden (Youth) with a Separable Soul in a Necklace" mention the heroine also being blessed with weeing pearls.

Some interesting variants with gems instead of pearls:

● The Fairy who cried Gems (Ladakh, several variants exist). A boy fiends a fairy weeping from loneliness in a beautiful palace. Her tears all turn to gems. After comforting her she gifts him a single tear shaped gem. Possession of the gem leads to the boy being threatened by the greedy land owner, but the fairy helps the boy defeat him. (A more elaborate version The King and the Jewel, can be read in: Folk-Tales of Ladakh, 1975)

● The Legend of Apache Leap and the Apache Tears (Apache, origin presumably 1870). Around seventy-five Apache warriors, killed or driven to their death by the US Cavalry, are mourned by their families near the cliff where they died. Their tears either turn to obsidian or are embedded into obsidian stones, preserving their translucence. These obsidian tears are said to bring good luck (or prevent sorrow needful of tears) to those who find/carry them. (Thank you @rabbitwhiterabbit!)

● The Golden Necklace (Afghanistan, collected and translated by Wahid Omar from Jhanara Amin in 1992). A merchant's wife hides her newborn baby girl in the cellar so her father will not kill her. Growing up pale and sickly in the dark, five angels find her and bless her with the Necklace of Life to make her healthy, golden bricks wherever she walks, laughter that turns to flowers, and tears that turn to emeralds. When she is a young woman her mother sends the girl to her uncle, a king, begging him to protect her and let her marry his only son. But the girl's nanny betrays her and a false bride/true bride plot follows, with somewhat of a Rapunzel flavour mixed in.

Tales which feature a similar gift, but without the tears:

● Diamonds and Toads, or: The Fairies, French literary fairy tale by Perrault: jewel or flower falls from the blessed girl's mouth at every word.

● The Three Little Men in the Wood, the Grimms, blessing from three little men in the woods is she will grow prettier every day, gold will fall from her mouth at every word, and she will one day marry a king.

● The True Bride, Nlakapamuk tale from North America that features a protagonist who spits nuggets of gold.

● Biancabella and the Snake, Italian literary fairy tale by Straparola, in which Biancabella gains the power to have pearls and gems fall from her hair when combed, and roses, violets and other flowers spring up around her hands when she washes them.

● Gulkhandaran's Flower, a Kurdish folktale in which a beautiful ifrit has a jewel fall from her mouth whenever she smiles or laughs, her cousin Gulkhandaran has flowers fall from her mouth when she laughs.

[laurasimonsdaughter]

A flock of seagulls screeched overhead, providing very unwanted backing vocals to the screaming of the flailing young man that was currently being hauled towards the shore by a particularly ill-tempered selkie.

“Seabed below, could you please cooperate!” she snapped, beating her tail against the waves. “I am trying to help you!” It was hard enough to swim half transformed like this, let alone having to use both arms to keep hold of this panicking idiot.

At long last she reached shallower waters. Shallow enough at least, to safely let go of the human.

“There!” she cried, heaving him in the general direction of the beach. “Get yourself ashore!

He flailed some more for a few moments, screaming his head off and thrashing in the shallow water, until he realised he could stand and began wading frantically to the shore.

The selkie watched him go with exasperation. “You’re welcome,” she barked after him, and then pulled her pelt back up over her head and dove back into the waves.

She did not show her human face again until she had reached her favourite rock. A nice, big, flat one, that rose just above sea level. Arms were helpful in pulling yourself out of the water. The selkie flopped comfortably on her stomach, her lower half still in the foamy water, determined to still enjoy at least something of the early morning. It had been such a nice morning, before all the screaming, with the wisps of mist that drew from the sea towards the shore only barely dissolving.

It was not to be, however. She had barely folded her suntanned arms under her head, or an annoyingly familiar shape came through the faint haze of the last morning mist. A black mare, the gate of her hooves as smooth as poetry and her manes dark like the night. Kicking up and trampling pebbles under gleaming black hooves the horse charged across the beach and straight into the water. The selkie watched the proud head disappear beneath the waves with narrowed eyes. A moment later there was a splash of water beside her rock and two pale hands gripped its slick edge.

The selkie met the sea-green eyes of the transforming kelpie with a scowl. In the grey light of morning her skin seemed almost silvery, but she knew the lighting didn't matter, her frustrating kelpie companion always looked equally and annoyingly beautiful.

“I swear, if I have to rescue one more of your stupid victims—” she growled.

“Good morning to you too,” the kelpie tutted, arranging herself on the rock with an effortless grace the selkie felt she never possessed while she had human limbs.

“I mean it,” she snapped. “That was the third one this week!”

She was sick and tired of it. You’d think humans would eventually learn, but they never did. There was always someone stupid enough to mistake the kelpie for a normal horse and anyone foolish enough to climb onto her back got galloped straight into the sea. She didn’t actually hurt them, she just left them to splash around, but only very few of them managed to swim back to the shore on their own. Most of them needed help. Help that usually took the form of a very annoyed selkie.

The kelpie grinned, teeth gleaming in the pale light of morning. “You don’t have to rescue them.”

“I like my sea free of screaming humans, thanks,” the selkie grunted. “Seriously. Can’t you give it a rest for a while?”

“I would, but they make it so easy,” the kelpie grinned. “Besides, if I stop, who knows how long I’d have to wait for you to come and chat to me again…” She winked and slid off the rock back into the water. The silky ripple of the kelpie’s long, black hair fanned out wide and seemed to stain her skin until a moment later a beautiful black horse raised her head up above the water.

The selkie gave a furious scoff, jumping out of her pelt in order to stand up, tracking the dark shape in the water with her eyes. “You came to see me!” she yelled after the equine form galloping triumphantly into the sea foam. “You always do!”

There was no reply. Just a distinctive kelpie laugh, sounding loud and neighing across the waves.