lemonbeemon

[lemonbeemon]

Tumblr is officially a horse loose in the hospital

[lemonbeemon]

My FF hater days are over, new lord of chaos OC is in the works...

[lemonbeemon]

I need an AU where Leda & Co wake up post-dlc STAT

[lemonbeemon]

miquella's charm isn't mind control or taking away free will miquella's charm isn't mind control or taking away free will miquella's charm isn't mind control or taking away free will miquella's charm isn't mind control or taking away free will miquella's charm isn't mind control or taking away free will

(also it says a lot to me that after the charm breaks, almost all of miquella's dnd party chooses to fight for him at the enir-ilim gank fight but a lot of people ignore that for some reason)

[lemonbeemon]

The biggest Elden Ring question I still have is who the fuck turned Boc into a tree?

[lemonbeemon]

Uhhhhh- so anyways-

Age Headcanons for SOTE NPCs; A Senseless List

A reminder that this is purely for fun and makes no claim for or against canon. This is merely a collection of headcanons and vague vibes, enjoy.

Leda: For this post, let's count biological age and not weird-resurection-ages. To me, Leda seems to be around 25-28. Old enough to have lost her naivety for the world, but young enough to keep the pedestal she's placed Miquella upon. She's an adult, sure, but I'd hardly say she's reached her full abilities. If Miquella had succeeded, she certainly would have matured into a vicious killer with decades of battle experience.

Freyja: This redmane has left her years of doe-eyes and frilly bows long behind. She's an easy 38, cool and confident in her body and her lifestyle. Sure, she's noticed the faint lines that have started to form on her brow but- eh- who cares? She'll keep doing what she's always done. To her, age really is just a number.

Dryleaf Dane: The martial arts know no age limit. 20, 30, 60- only the dedication of the mind and body matters in the pursuit of perfection. Dane has seen it all in his eventful 50-ish years of life, and his fighting style reflects that. It's his reserved demeanor and silent loyalty that make him a perfect balance for the cynical Leda. To whom he likens himself as both a friend and mentor. Honestly, he appreciates her youthful fervor and often finds himself considering her something like a daughter.

The Hornsent: He's 40. 40 what? Just 40, as far as he'd ever tell you anyhow. A trusting man he is not, even with the simplicities of sharing one's true age. Such pointless talking points are for truer friends and family, of which the hornsent has none. Perhaps under the guidance of Kindly Miquella, he might one day celebrate another year of life lived in vengeance. For now, however, the memory only fills him with a deep and singular loneliness...

Igon: Drake Warriors aren't known for living long lives, and hunters of all kinds are known for it even less. Igon is the exception. Without the magics of the land of shadow, he would be about 42. An impressive age to reach, for one in his line of work. Although the lack of care he gives to his own appearance would lead one to believe he was much older.

Sir Ansbach: GILF lovers rejoice, this man is easily the oldest npc on our list today. I would say Ansbach is dutifully vague about his true age. While it may amuse him to give the true number, and watch the flicker of awe for his agility cross his companions' face, he remains aware that giving his real age is a disadvantage should things turn south. On one hand, it may cause him to be targeted by those unaware of his skill. An easy problem to solve, if not overly tiresome. On the other, it endangers on a more... emotional level. He cannot risk his allies putting his safety over their own on such a baseless reason as his advanced age. He is SIR Ansbach, after all. What sort of man, as both mentor and knight, could abide by such an obvious danger to his juniors? Not he, that is certain, and so his many decades remain a mystery (although they certainly number more than Dane's)

Thiollier: Awkward, skinny, and chronically anxious. Thiollier reads as young, very young. He's most certainly the baby of the group, even if most of the others don't treat him differently for it. After all, they must likely assume him only a few years younger than Leda. They all began their lives as warriors, scholars, and missionaries at a similar age. So to them it matters very little how old their resident perfumer is. Freyja assumes he is 22, the Hornsent suspects him little older than 17, and only the Tarnished and Sir Ansbach know he is - truthfully- somewhere in between.

Moore: It is difficult to place Moore, since he is kin to the Pests and therefore likely a different race/species category for biological age. However, I would say that Moore is somewhat youthful, based upon his naivety. Likely, he is in between Thiollier and Leda in age - when the years between Pest kin and Tarnished are converted. Mid-20s seems an appropriate range for Moore.

Aaaannnd that's all I have for now! If you have different headcanons on sote npc ages, or npc headcanons in general, pls feel free to share! I love reading comments and seeing different (and similar) perspectives on Elden Ring characters!

Anyways, thanks for reading! This was a fun way to kill time lol >D

[lemonbeemon]

no matter what your most embarrassing moment in life is, at least it’s not having fucking chat gpt write fanfic for you bc you’re too lazy to do it yourself

[lemonbeemon]

was thinking about him lately

[lemonbeemon]

Replaying bloodborne again just reminds me I actually DO like men.

[lemonbeemon]

Elden Ring isn't about which demigod was right, it's about which horrible monster you like the most

[lemonbeemon]

man, if i had to actually think about my problems instead of playing elden ring, i’d be in a lot of trouble.

[lemonbeemon]

Squid Game Ship Poll

[lemonbeemon]

Got the urge to blab about my Elden Ring OCs but the problem is only one (1) actively exists in the universe of my current fic wip. RIP to the metaphysicals but Nymeria stays winning💪

[lemonbeemon]

This is hopecore! ✨

[lemonbeemon]

*Sweats in Fic Writer*

Anyways feel free to drop ideas in the comments/tags. I'll write pretty much anything for these two :3

I think Jun-hee and Dae-ho should kiss, actually

[lemonbeemon]

Squid Game, but it's Elden Ring

[lemonbeemon]

Welcome to the followers of Miquella the Kind, we got:

Xanax prescription ASAP

10/10

Needs to retake “Am I Gay” quiz

The Struggler

Active suicide risk #1

Active suicide risk #2

Autistic individual