lgbtqiadvice

[lgbtqiadvice]

It’s cool if you 100% fit the bill for a certain label, but prefer not to use it or be referred to with it. You’re not required to adopt any labels.

It’s also cool if you don’t 100% fit the bill for a certain label, but prefer to use it and be referred to with it. You’re not required to fit perfectly into any one mold set for you.

It’s also, also cool if you create your own label that does 100% fit you and prefer to use it and be referred to with it. You’re not required to try to make yourself fit into the existing molds if they don’t fit comfortably for you.

[lgbtqiadvice]

[lgbtqiadvice]

So apparently last year the National Park Service in the US dropped an over 1200 page study of LGBTQ American History as part of their Who We Are program which includes studies on African-American history, Latino history, and Indigenous history. 

Like. This is awesome. But also it feels very surreal that maybe one of the most comprehensive examinations of LGBTQ history in America (it covers sports! art! race! historical sites! health! cities!) was just casually done by the parks service. 

[lgbtqiadvice]

[lgbtqiadvice]

Here in internet-land, I almost always see "mogai" used in a really derisive way towards "fake genders" or talking about "mogai hell". What does "mogai" mean, and do you have any advice for dealing with people who are condescending and rude about lesser-known sexualities and genders?

It’s meant to be a more inclusive term for - for lack of a better word - the community. It stands for Marginalized Orientations, Genders/Gender Identities, And Intersex. You’ll more rarely see it shortened as MOGII. MOGAI was originally Marginalized Organizations, Gender Alignments, and Intersex, and I’ll explain why that evolved a bit down below. 

It took off more than some of the others and became the most popular replacement for GRSM (Gender, Romantic, and Sexual Minorities), as GRSM is rooted in clinical terminology and is meant to include pedophiles (vomit). After people started pointing out the gross roots of GRSM, there was a big movement for a better replacement that was more inclusive than LGBT+ or trying to fit all letters into the acronym. SAGA (Sexuality And Gender Acceptance) was the other big replacement, but MOGAI gained more visibility and notice (it’s the luck of the draw on the internet sometimes - right person, right timing), so it became the most used and well known replacement.

There’s a couple different reasons for the backlash against MOGAI in particular.

One is that there is always resistance against inclusive terms. Part of why TERFs started an attack against queer. Within any power system, there will always be those who do their best to prioritize themselves. That’s cis white gay men in the gender/sexuality crowd, mostly, and cis white lesbians for a smaller part. If you have a term that puts everyone on included, equal ground, it’s harder to prioritize yourself as more important. So there’s always pushback against inclusive terms.

Now there’s also an argument that the phrasing “gender alignments” allows cishet women to worm their way in, as a marginalized gender, when that’s not what the term is meant to represent. Which is why there was some push to either move towards MOGII or change it to gender identities rather than gender alignments.

(I used to use mogai myself, I eventually fell out of it because queer exists and lgbt has continued to reign strong over mogai, and I was tired but welcome in the queer community, and that’s been a fight - thanks to terfs - enough in and of itself. Dx )

But what you’re seeing mostly is just gatekeeping and queerphobia/acephobia/transphobia/exorsexism, etc. Anti-ace sentiment in particular, as I think a lot of ace people were drawn to MOGAI and the fact that it was meant to be purposefully inclusive of them. The usual hate against lesser known identities. People can’t stand that we don’t all fit into nice, neat little boxes and that some people like to microlabel, that microlabels can actually help some people feel better and happier. It’s people drawn to things like truscum-ism/transmedicalism, terf beliefs, ace exclusion, etc. that make fun of MOGAI, call it MOGAI hell, or refer to us as special snowflakes. They need to feel better about themselves and do this by shitting on the rest of us.

As for dealing with people like this, honestly? Block list. There’s a reason block/ignore exists on most sites. We can’t always do this in real life, but that’s the beauty of the internet. You can block the fuck out of these hateful trolls. It sucks seeing all that crap. Block it! Get it out of your life. Then go follow some positivity blogs, vent to friends, other forms of self-care, etc. There is no reason you have to deal with people who are only trying to make you feel like crusty dirt. As for real life, if you can’t walk away, I personally like to get sarcastic with people or get really condescending back, like “oh yeah, of course you’re right, you know everything, you couldn’t possibly be wrong, you are the one true determiner of identity and who someone else is”. Maybe your personality lends you to a different form of protection/shielding, though. 

~ Mod Sock

[lgbtqiadvice]

Different Ways Of Using Multiple Pronoun Sets

People can use whichever pronouns come to them first 

Different people use different pronouns for you (Example: Annie calls you she while Jenny calls you they) 

People alternate between pronouns 

You use a pronoun necklace/pin/etc. 

You wear different styles of clothing for different pronouns (Example: When you wear skirts, you’re a she, and when you wear pants, you’re a they) 

You wear a clothing item or color to signify your pronouns (Example: When you wear a green bow, you’re a she, and when you wear a red bow, you’re a they) 

[lgbtqiadvice]

TRANS WOMEN: HERE'S SOME SHIT YOUR DOCTOR WONT TELL YOU ABOUT HRT

1. Progesterone: not for everyone, but for many people it may increase sex drive and WILL make your boobs bigger. Also effects mood in ways that many find positive (but some find negative). Most doctors won’t prescribe this to you unless you ask. Most trans girls I know swear by it.

2. Injectible estrogen: is more effective than pill or patch form. Get on it if you can bear needles bc you will see more effects more quickly.

3. Estradiol Cypionate: There is currently a shortage of injectible estradiol valerate. There is no shortage of estradiol cypionate. Functionally they do the same shit.

4. Bicalutamide: This is an anti-androgen that has almost none of the side-effects of spironolactone or finasteride. The girls I know who are on it are evangelical about it.

[lgbtqiadvice]

instead of assuring everyone that it “isn’t a phase”, why don’t we just assure everyone that if it is a phase it’s fine? it’s healthy to figure yourself out? because if we tell everyone it’s not a phase and it ends up being a phase, those people are going to feel guilty, like they stole resources or wasted time. It’s not bad to ‘go through a phase’. It’s a healthy way of finding out who you are. And if it isn’t a phase, that’s fine too. But if it is, there’s no reason to feel bad.

[lgbtqiadvice]

[lgbtqiadvice]

The new name you chose for yourself is really cool and fits you well!

[lgbtqiadvice]

Y'all, it’s an app specifically for ace people.

They have so many choices in terms of romantic orientation, too!

It’s available on android (and probably iOS too) under the name ACEapp.

[lgbtqiadvice]

hi, so um lately i have been having thoughts like i want to dress and look more like a guy but im not exactly sure if i want to be trans??? its been confusing.

Presentation=/=gender

Dress however you want, present however you feel comfortable. It doesn’t affect your gender if you don’t want it to.

[lgbtqiadvice]

Heyo so I came out to my sister when I was 13. It's been a year and she still keeps telling me I'm to young to know. It's very annoying, any advice on what to say to her?

If you know, you know. The problem here is that your sister is viewing heterosexuality as the default, the “norm” and viewing anything else as differing from the norm. If you were straight, nobody would tell you that you’re too young to know.

But heterosexual is not the default orientation. If other 13 year olds are old enough to know that they’re straight, then you’re old enough to know you’re not.

[lgbtqiadvice]

Hello!! This might sound sort of silly, but because I was raised in a homophobic family that regularly stereotyped gay folks, and only recently discovered I'm attracted to girls, I'm sort of clueless on this topic. Does there have to be a butch and a femme in every lesbian relationship? I'm more femme and attracted more to femme lesbians, that's normal right? Thank you in advance

There are no expectations of roles in relationships. There doesn’t have to be one “masculine” one and another “feminine” one. It’s perfectly normal to be a femme lesbian attracted to femme lesbians.

[lgbtqiadvice]

Oh shoot! If I didn't make my ask anonymous, then just ignore it! My bad!

Could you send this ask again off anon so we know which, if any, of the current messages in our inbox is yours?

[lgbtqiadvice]

I hope trans Muslim wlw have a good and safe day

[lgbtqiadvice]

ah I forgot to include in this answer that the only one who can really decide your identity is you and the split attraction model is just one of many options and definitely not the only one

I'm a girl and Romantically I'm attaracted to all genders I would date anyone I go by personality so gender doesn't matter to me so I identified as bi but sexually I'm only attracted to girls I only want to have sex with girls so what would that make me?

you can use the split attraction model, which can be used when romantic and sexual orientations don’t match, and say you’re biromantic homosexual or biromantic lesbian, if you want to keep using the bi label. or panromantic, bc that can also fit what you’ve explained here.