lightning-rambles

[lightning-rambles]

I hate it when therapists and other psych professionals try to reassure me that the screening test scores and other such numbers aren't that important and that we shouldn't focus on them. No fuck you, I want you to look at how fucked up these scores are. Look at them. I grew up being told that this is normal and I am fine, and I've got test scores saying that I'm not fine.

If you went to a doctor saying "idk I guess I feel fine, I've just always felt like this but I have a lingering suspicion that it might not be normal just because it's always been like this", and two thirds of your blood test results were in the Holy Fuck How Are You Even Alive, a doctor wouldn't go "don't you worry about the tests, if you feel fine then surely there's nothing wrong with you :)"

[lightning-rambles]

i am tired of psychoanalysing myself and my actions at this point.

[lightning-rambles]

“You are allowed to be alive. You are allowed to be somebody different. You are allowed to not say goodbye to anybody or explain a single thing to anyone, ever.”

— Augusten Burroughs; This Is How

[lightning-rambles]

there nonverbal nonspeaking people who do have intellectual disability and that okay.

there nonverbal nonspeaking people who do struggle with language & communication even if given best AAC support and that okay

there nonverbal nonspeaking people who are d/Deaf or hard of hearing, n not talk may be relate to d/Deaf/hoh, or may not, and that okay.

there nonverbal nonspeaking people who do struggle with thinking and that okay.

there nonverbal nonspeaking people who cannot spell cannot type cannot communicate perfect with AAC and that okay.

there nonverbal nonspeaking people who communication still limited even with AAC and that okay.

there nonverbal people who do prefer be called nonverbal and that okay.

there nonverbal nonspeaking people who not relate to “motor only everything else ‘intact’ ” and that okay.

nonverbal nonspeaking people all different and one group of nonverbal nonspeaking people can’t speak for and define all of nonverbal nonspeaking-ness and that okay.

what not okay is lateral ableism & punch down ableism and define wide experience base on only one group experience and push everyone out.

[lightning-rambles]

A Classification of the Levels of Coming Out

Organelle- A specialized part of the cell It starts simple Basic A small niggling in the back of your head A question A thought Could it be?

Cell- The base unit of life It’s within you Microscopic If you don’t look close enough, you’ll miss it Nevertheless, it’s still a part of you You try to hide it Tissue- A grouping of similar and specialized cells You can’t ignore it now The traces of it are rooted in your body You know it’s there and hope others don’t notice It grows inside Displeased and unsatisfied

Organ- a unit of the body that has one vital function Everything comes together And you realize this isn’t so bad It’s a part of me It exists I need it to survive

Organ System- a larger system of function in the body It starts to spread Creates tracks in every part of your body You breathe it in Everything starts to flow smoothly, controlled Now that you let it be

Organism- a being Eventually you realize It’s not just a part of you It is you It has been you this entire time Down to the very first organelle