loopydays

[loopydays]

It’s me!

Under a tree, it’s me! In the colour of unpredictable branches, Suede skin of a horse. Vagabond grass of endless land.

Under a cloud it’s me! In the song of the raindrops, Soothing smell of the earth. Betraying light of a thunder.

Under a face it’s me! In the gloom and laughter, Warmth of love. It’s all, and it’s me.

[loopydays]

Fellow Travelers

Wasting some time with people, and believing that they are also going through the same journey. Realizing that my struggle is the same with everyone else’s, therefore feeling comfortable.

Comfortably in the edge of emptiness, let’s turn together till the end of now. Whisper emotions into each other’s hearts. No questions have to be answered, nothing has to be done.

“Let’s go with the flow, wherever it goes. We are more than alive. It’s louder than words this thing we do. Louder than words, the way it unfurls. It’s louder than words, the sum of our parts. The beat of our hearts is louder than words. Louder than words this thing they call soul. It’s there with a pulse, louder than words.”

[loopydays]

Good Morning

Then I asked, “You are such a kind person, why are you crazy?” Standing on his everyday corner, softly smiled and said, “Good Morning!”.

[loopydays]

A Good Idea

Lightbulb! That is how all this bloody madness between humans and mosquitoes has begun.

Before the lightbulb there was the sun. Life on earth knew the sun as the only source of light, the only governor of the metabolic time. Humans, just like mosquitoes, used to rise and shine with the sun, and go to rest soon after it leaves. Days were much shorter, giving enough time to both species for a good night sleep. Until that one human converted electricity into permanent light - in a bulb!

Lightbulb meant a good idea to humans, whereas it was just the beginning of the end for mosquitoes. Soon after the lightbulb, nights were days and sun wasn’t alone anymore. Humans had the control over this new idea and they could switch the lights off whenever they started yawning. However outside, thanks to the lightbulbs on the streets, homeless mosquitoes were suffering from insomnia, which eventually drove them crazy.

A few generations later humans got used to less sleep, but mosquitoes couldn’t get used to no sleep. Gone nuts by the endless insomnia, mosquitoes vowed to never let humans sleep in peace.

Today some mosquitoes, those managed to keep their sanity, still try to point out the problem by flying around street lights every night. Yet it hasn’t caught the enlighteneds’ attention.

[loopydays]

Scudding Across in a Hot Air Balloon

Why do we look for other people when we start questioning? When we feel insecure with this thing going on. When we are not sure if this is something we can understand. Sometimes those other people are just ourselves, but somewhere else in time. Like listening to old songs we used to listen ten years ago, and becoming that person, that soul again. Looking through its feelings. Feeling the time. Thinking about how much time has passed in-between, and how it actually feels like no time has passed at all. Like, how? Makes me question about what time really is. Not in a theoretical way, but in an emotional way. It is so sad. So so sad that we are prisoners of time. Just very very sad, and helpless. Empathy with oneself. Realising the weight and feeling sad for oneself. And you know what? We are all stuck here. Probably that is why we start looking for other people when we start questioning. There is no solution, but easing the weight by sharing.

No-one is ever running away from winds in a hot air balloon or swimming away from an ocean. No dog is gonna catch its tail, but that is not what it is trying to demonstrate anyways. So let us fill this hot air balloon with wonderful souls, surf on the ocean waves, and just turn for awhile with that dog, trying to lick our asses.

Sorry for the unexpected ending, but otherwise it would be too didactic. Here is a hot air balloon photo I took with a wonderful friend on another magical mystery day.

[loopydays]

Yellow

Very yellow colour of a home. Resting inside the very yellow fields. Look at it from the sky. Just like that. Laying down to the very mellow feeling of very yellow fields. Living the yellow fields and becoming yellow inside. Painting home yellow to remember that yellow is always there, inside.

[loopydays]

1435 mm

Two straight lines. Coming from and going to infinity. Not to infinity actually. That is just a way humans describe big things. Not that they are small. But sometimes things are too big to bother defining, and everybody knows that humans are lazy. So, let’s call it infinity.

These two straight lines are also infinitely far from each other. No, not really. That is just a way humans describe emotions. In fact these straight lines are 1435 millimetres away from each other. But not a millimetre closer or farther. Otherwise they would become a huge threat for humans, and would have to be adjusted. 1435 millimetres away, travelling together to infinity.

A little above these lines, about a meter, a pen is flirting with a paper. Trying to attract it with its dirty dance. Carving memories of simple observations it has been making. Struggling to prove its uniqueness, using its point of view. Pen point of view.

[loopydays]

Let it out

Problem starts where everyone represents themselves. They know that for every act, they will be judged. That is the cause of this tense, normal situation in the train. But that is kind of a fear-oriented way of keeping things in the society in order. One fears that he/she’ll end up alone, which eventually leads us to act more mature than we really are. How many of us catch ourselves trying to keep ourselves from laughing when we think of a funny event in public? It is a disturbing feeling, when one stops him/herself from laughing.

However it would be something totally okay, if we could see it more often, and maybe even share the reason to spread the laughter. Because everyone is okay, when someone cries and spreads the sadness. It is okay to be judged as a crazy person for a bit of contagious laughter. One may even make friends!

The overall story here is actually the lack of unity. When we see us as representers of our own selves, we already shift ourselves out of a unified human race. In this kind of a situation, we usually assign a role model to ourselves, and try to be like that. This action -while destroying the idea of unity, the joy of spontaneity, and the complexity of human behaviour- shifts the individual power of the followers to the role model, bringing us to the normal situation in the train we just talked about. So when they say “be yourself”, maybe we should think about the last time we kept our laughter in. And as always, it is good to have you around!

[loopydays]

Lighthouse

Through the thunderstorm we sailed. Sometimes it got so harsh, we had to lower the sails and surrender to the clashing waves. One after another. Seemed never ending. Ocean hides wonders for those who can remember the destination and navigate despite the weather, it seems. Who gets lost may find the way again. But for the one who doesn’t remember the destination things are a bit harder.

Trying to live everything all over again is a way to remember. Maybe training the mind to remember better? Somehow the destination has to be rediscovered and reset. In these times more strict rules may apply until the destination is regained. People may be a good place to start. Extinguishing the bright flames of the bridges, and building stone ones instead. It is not the speed or the distance that makes something meaningful, it is its interaction with other things.

[loopydays]

Antique

New trains are red. Like the train I am in. Old trains out of the window I see. They are pretty. Pretty old trains. Good vibes. Probably the reason is that it reminds us of mortality. Maybe that is why we like antique stuff. They used to carry people. Now they carry stories, memories. They carry time.

[loopydays]

From a Distance

So small we do look from a distance. But we forgot about it with the city life. There is not much open space to see someone far far away, small. Thanks to todays train ride, I looked at a small person, who happened to run through the fields next to the railway. Maybe a kilometer away. Or two. Far enough to look small.

[loopydays]

Mocha

Delicious taste of mocha Sweet girl behind me Berries on the tarte Grande caffe mocha Zu mitnehmen Ohne Sahne Name "Hans" macht einfacher Ugly shoes of sweet girl Girl no more sweet

Am I killing the colors in the name of simplicity and functionality? Is it what modernism is about? Would it be more colorful if I said "Yigit"? Maybe I wouldn't have caught the train Maybe something better would happen Maybe something worse would happen

But now, I'm here. Warmth of caffe mocha In my hand, in my stomach In my mind Delicious taste of caffe mocha In my head, on my tongue Words in my head Typing in my spine Thumb dances on the screen Creating information Eyes cross-check for error Other four fingers holding the phone

Mind wonders wonders and wonders Takes small breaks on wonders Like the train I am in

Writing helps silencing the mind Writing what you think No rehearsal no corrections Flowing out

No more speaks the mind But whispers to the words sometimes Taste of mocha Urge of sharing

Conversations around Girl sitting at right What is she thinking What is she doing What is life to her What is her favourite color scheme

Out of the window everything is red Car red bridge red trucks red Red is love Red is war Red is blood Red is no more love Hate is stronger Pushes love to change color Pushes love aside Love is reason Love is excuse

Red in a dress Dress on a woman Sulky face Dress better play its part best

End of caffe mocha is near Still delicious Like all things with an end Sad sad sad Things with an end

[loopydays]

Indecisiveness

Being not able to find an internship really affects me in a bad bad way. For the first time in my Life, I literally am not doing anything with my Life other than thinking. Apparently thinking does not give you much, if you are on a lower step on the pyramid.

Main problem is that I don’t know what I really want to do with my Life. I really don’t feel any closer to any job I apply. One thing I am taking my steps considering is staying in Aachen. Here I feel like home. The bird sounds are still petting my ears. But I don’t know why I am so attached to here.

Every little thing makes me stressful these days. On the other hand lots of miracles are taking place. It is the best time to observe and understand. I just mustn’t leave the sail, although I don’t know where I am going. Probably that is the problem: indecisiveness.

[loopydays]

John the Beetle

I met John in the still waters of Snail Bay located in Kekova region of Mediterranean Sea. I wasn’t sure if it was also there for a vacation. Most fascinating bug I have ever seen has had found me in the middle of a sea. I grabbed it with my snorkel, and rushed back to the boat.

I named him John the Beetle, before checking what he really was. She was a female Golden Stag Beetle (Lamprima Aurata), somehow made its way from Southern Australia to here. I knew that it was another lucky moment in my life, and John was very special. She was an adorable beetle, totally harmless, and a grape addict. My cousin and I looked after her for a day, during which she ate half a grape and peed most of it all around.

I set John the Beetle free, after a huge dilemma of whether to keep it or return it to where it belongs, nature. For some it is just a bug. But for me, she is a friend, and a gong to remind me that I still believe that everything has a consciousness.

[loopydays]

Any Colour You Like

This morning I woke up early. Very early. Around 6 am to be exact. After some “what to do”s, I decided to shoot a time-lapse of the sunrise in front of my window. As soon as I set and positioned the camera, I started shooting an image every 30 seconds, with a shutter speed of 1/8000, and went back to sleep.

I woke up two hours later to end the shooting and to create the time-lapse video. This is just too much. This makes me question really, really hard. This is one of those moments after which you know nothing can be same again. I didn’t capture this picture, I was sleeping. But it captured me forever.

[loopydays]

Discovering Another World

I woke up with extreme joy of the new discovery today. I rushed to my computer to go on listening to the mysteries of another world.

It all started with a photograph we took the very first day I used my camera. We saw this beautiful blackbird jumping from branch to branch to road back to branch. It was moving so fast, that it was nearly impossible to shoot a photo of it with tripod. But we started unpacking the tripod. At the moment we made the camera ready, it just started standing still on one branch of a tree. Posing us, while singing the most beautiful songs. We took the following photograph of the blackbird with a shutter speed of 0.5 seconds.

This photo was the beginning. When we transferred the photograph into the computer, we first recognised the blurry lower beak. With a shutter speed of 0.5 seconds, we were expecting a motion blur, since it was singing. But the moment we zoomed in, our minds got dizzy. Movement of the beak was not homogeneous. It stayed in four different positions much more than the rest of the movement. That is why in this photograph we see the lower beak moving in four steps.

Idea of the time perception in animals was always in my mind. But this photograph was a solid proof, that this bird was speaking in four different voice in half a second. Next step was to listen slower. I already had a recording of bird sounds for my Loopy Days album. Yesterday we tried slowing it down seven, ten and twenty times, in order to get the voice to a pitch similar to human voice.

[loopydays]

Bird sounds slowed down ten times.