love-in-my-twenties

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 18 - free day

i just rested. in my bed, doing nothing, recording a cover despite my still-kinda-sick throat, then went out with my friends for like two hours. forgot to take cute pics but i managed

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 17 - busy

i finally slept fine, although still 6 hours at best. morning shift at work, some time with a childhood friend who visited me at work, meeting with my family and a family friend who's in the country for a few days, a long walk with a friend from uni. a good day.

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 16 - one day at a time?

i think it's safe to say i have insomnia. i thought it was a one-time thing, i sometimes have nights like this but now that i've been having trouble sleeping for like ½-⅓ nights of the last two or three weeks... not so one-time thing anymore. healing isn't linear, that's what i always say, but it's annoying to think that i have yet another problem in my collection.

today was alright, although the almost sleepless night and feeling more sick again didn't help. had work in the morning, then visited my family.

i'm really stressed about tomorrow - i hope i won't be too tired and sick for it 🥲

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 15 - better

i woke up exhausted and was feeling more and more stressed with every passing hour - that's what coming back to work after almost a week does to me. i visited my family in the morning - it was nice, calm.

i had work from 1 to 8 pm today. luck wasn't on my side and a few of things that i've been literally the most scared of happened. i handled it alright, i think, and i'm kind of glad they happened - i feel like now i have nothing to worry about.

i feel better, although super tired

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 14 - still. fucking. tired.

i don't know. maybe i wasted the day a little. i didn't do much, spent too much time on my phone and in my bed. i had my therapy but it just felt like i was explaining the last two weeks to her most of the time - i had a lot to say. i had a nice evening though, rewatching the prestige and eating pizza i made for lunch.

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 13 - tired

it was hard for me to start my day today. i finally got a restful night but i felt really drained mentally.

on the bright side, it was my friend's birthday party today. me and my other two friends got there early to help with preparations. it was nice, very chill

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 12 - restful

i was thinking about how happy i could be if i took more action and rewired my brain a little. there's so many people that i'd love to spend more time with. there's so many things i worry about way too much

journaled a bit about how i changed since the beginning of the year. i realised that back then, i didn't even want to change. i just had a few non-emotional goals that didn't really add up to my overall growth

tidied up the apartment a bit; outdoor cinema solo date in the evening:)

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 11 - trying

yesterday was hard and i was reliving it through the day, with a lot of doubts, automatic thoughts and moments of derealisation. in the evening though, me and my gf went for our friend's party and honestly, it was amazing. i had so much fun and i was so happy to spend the time with people from uni that i really missed

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 10 - scared. hopeful

an almost sleepless night with an awful nightmare, morning shift at work, a doctor appointment, some time outside with my gf, outdoor cinema with my girl and our friend. a massive breakdown, maybe a panic attack, i don't know

i told my girlfriend that it is getting better, just very slowly, and i think the slowness makes sense in my situation. i asked her to trust me. i, personally, do believe the things i've been saying

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 9 - bad day

cool plans, unpleasant emotions that kinda overtook the whole day. a lot of crying, followed by a restless night

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 8 - i don't know if i would call this healing

a normal day. didn't do anything big, didn't go out of my comfort zone. spent time with my girlfriend, visited my family, went for a walk. me and my gf cleaned a huge cabinet under my kitchen ceiling that's been cluttered since forever. i didn't feel very good today - a few of derealisation moments

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 7 - girlfriends

rethinking yesterday - i'm really proud of how i handled certain things and how i acted at work. i also realised how much confidence work always gives me - in almost every place i work in, i'm really liked - by both coworkers and clients - and am perceived as someone competent. so that must mean something, huh?

a free day; my gf who's mostly in her hometown for the summer came here for a few days; slow morning, cleaning the apartment

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 6 - new things

my first solo closing shift and my first solo shift at all in my life. panicked a bit but got through it. allowed myself to rest through the morning

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 5 - living through it all

morning shift at work; finally started cleaning my apartment, bought plane tickets for a sept trip-- a massive breakdown. not allowing depression to take over my whole day

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 4 - standing up

busy day; did some things that i usually put off for forever and it turned out it's not that bad; work, shopping, doctor. warm milk with honey for a sore throat and good sleep. almost no pics, unfortunately

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 3 - defeat

starting the day late, giving up in more moments than i should; i met with a friend and did some things in the city that i wanted to do, but whenever i was at home, i was ending up in my bed on my phone. tomorrow will be better

[love-in-my-twenties]

healing - photojournal

day 2 - acting instead of just embracing the negative thoughts and feelings

a busy day - work (no pics, unfortunately, but i just started a new job in a café), shopping & a friend's bday party