lunarharlequin - Tumblr blog

[lunarharlequin]

its so hard to be a big titty goth girl with dandruff

[lunarharlequin]

got absolutely roasted in the basement beneath the farmer’s appreciation festival on this wednesday night :(

[lunarharlequin]

I enjoy holding potatoes. They feel nice in my soft and smooth hands.

[lunarharlequin]

swiggity swoompst

whomst

[lunarharlequin]

I would be happy if you broke my fingers because my fingers never did anything for me. Ever.

[lunarharlequin]

IQ

what’s under 12 IQ? it’s for a friend

[lunarharlequin]

Being a man

You know I must smell like constant testosterone right? That’s the vibe I give off.

[lunarharlequin]

baby man

if i were bit by a radioactive baby

nothing would change

[lunarharlequin]

Madagascar

What if you said Madagascar with only the ‘a’s? 

AAAA

I thought that would be better

[lunarharlequin]

Stats

30% of the population includes, but is not limited to, death.

[lunarharlequin]

Nickel

If I had a nickel for every time someone buried me in the sand and waited for the tide to come in, but the tide was already in so the tide just went farther out, so I had to wait another 6 hours, and then a lifeguard named Harry rescued me and brought me to an isolated island and tried to get me to join a cult, but I said no so he buried me in sand and left me to die, but then a pilot named Rob saw me and saved my life, I would have 4 nickels.

[lunarharlequin]

Other Girls

I’m not like other girls. I have a big mouth and fat stomach.

[lunarharlequin]

Infrastructure

Does this bridge contain human bodies? No? Bring a real architect in here.