lyd1aisnotokay - Tumblr blog

[lyd1aisnotokay]

When you’re underweight but short so you don’t look “skinny” like taller people who weigh the same

[lyd1aisnotokay]

There’s nothing and no one to stop me from starving myself at the moment and I’m taking this opportunity and making the most of it

[lyd1aisnotokay]

Losing your appetite and interest in food cuz u fell into a depressive episode >>>>

[lyd1aisnotokay]

The euphoric feeling of noticing your bones protruding more

[lyd1aisnotokay]

[lyd1aisnotokay]

Can you tell I’m mentally spiralling rn with all the ed posts I’ve made in one day after being inactive for months

[lyd1aisnotokay]

I hope I’m just desensitised to my body and that I’m actually thinner than I think I am

[lyd1aisnotokay]

Knowing that you made it to the end of the day without eating and can now sleep on an empty stomach >>>>

[lyd1aisnotokay]

coming on tumblr after eating is like walking out of ur room w ur boyfriend knowing ur family heard everything

[lyd1aisnotokay]

You literally feel on top of the world

Nothing feels better than an empty stomach.🤍🎀

Body checks with an empty stomach

Exercising with an empty stomach

[lyd1aisnotokay]

I can no longer properly weigh myself because my parents changed the bathroom floor to carpet and the scales don’t read properly on the uneven surface🫠🔫

The only place I can use it now is in the kitchen when everyone’s asleep but even then I have to keep some clothes on :(

[lyd1aisnotokay]

I miss the old skinny body I had when I was deep into weed addiction, debilitating anxiety and low moods from A Levels

It was the first time I ever felt truly pretty and alive

Boys paid attention to me and made me feel hot

Not like the disgusting greedy pig I was before

Almost half a year later and I’m getting back to my old self and the comfort of it feels amazing ❤️

[lyd1aisnotokay]

The worst part about relapsing is hating yourself for ever healing </3

[lyd1aisnotokay]

When all the work you put into your mental health and trying to improve your mental illnesses and unhealthy coping mechanisms gets completely undone and there’s nothing you can do about it

[lyd1aisnotokay]

When you start to notice yourself smoking more cigarettes than usual to cope with the pain <<<

[lyd1aisnotokay]

When you finally make yourself vulnerable enough to trust someone and they fuck it up just like everyone else did and now you’re back to square one with trust issues that are going to take years to fix again

[lyd1aisnotokay]

Falling back into the mindset of wishing you’d rather be dead than do anything ever again