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marsbarsfrommars · 6 months ago

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truth, justice, and the problem with not telling your friends about your double life

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“Well, no,” Barry says, “But he also doesn’t call his house ‘The Fortress of Solitude’.” “I do not live in the Fortress,” Clark reiterates for what feels like the umpteenth time.

or, Clark's friend know that being Superman isn't his full-time job, right? Right?

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I know I said I'd write more elvar and I'm sure I will at some point bc I love them, but I've started watching smallville and got back into the dc fandom bc of it. my characterisation is based on a mix of the few comics I've read, smallville and other fanfictions so I really hope this isn't too ooc. I don't really know the canon timeline (and I'm not sure dc does either) so I just made something up: bruce, clark and diana met for the first time when bruce was 23 and clark 22, about half a year after clark debuted as superman, two years later they officially founded the jla and the other members joined them over the past year. the plot of this is very silly, but I hope you still enjoy it. happy holidays to everyone who celebrates! title inspired by the quote "I'm here to fight for truth, justice, and the american way." from the 1978 film (that I haven't even watch) as always, english isn't my first language so there might be grammar or spelling mistakes, but spellchek says it's fine so I don't really care as long as it's not unreadable content warnings: absolutely none this time, this is just fluff and humor

Clark is honestly having a great week. No world—ending events, no villains trying to kill him personally, and only one ‘you look kinda like Superman’ comment when he took off his glasses in the office. It’s a late Friday afternoon so he’s done with work for the week and can enjoy a lazy evening on the couch with Lois, watching reruns of The Great British Bake Off and commenting on the candidate's work, even though both of them don’t know the first thing about baking. He’ll make something quick and easy for dinner or, better yet, he could fly over to that really great Italian place and get them a nice pizza. Yes, he’ll do that as soon as this meeting is over. Hal has been talking almost uninterrupted for the last few minutes, and at this point Clark isn’t sure if it’s even about work still.

He glances over at Bruce, expecting to see his friend listening attentively and maybe even taking notes, but the man is sitting weirdly still, even for Batman standards. He focuses his enhanced senses on his friend for a moment and, sure enough, The Batman, known among his fellow heroes for his near absolute commitment to the job, is asleep in a League meeting. The white lenses of his cowl hide it well enough, but his even breathing and slowed heartbeat are giving him away to Clark. Clark debates lightly kicking him under the table to wake him up, but then decides against it. Bruce is running a company, being Batman and raising a hyperactive eleven-year-old all at the same time, he needs all the sleep he can get.

Hal is somehow still talking and Clark is sure that, at this point, what the Green Lantern is saying is either very serious and he should have listened intently the whole time instead of spacing out for the last five minutes, or it's deeply, deeply unserious. He decides to tune back in on the conversation and okay, the topic has somewhat strayed from official Justice League business. Hal is seemingly telling Barry and Oliver how he was part of a fraternity and even lived in the frat house for a semester in university, despite never officially signing up. Diana and J’onn are listening intently, the latter with the look of mild horror on his face exclusively reserved for people who didn’t grow up in the States hearing about a fraternity for the first time. Dinah is listening to the tale as well, albeit seeming rather bored and increasingly disgusted every time Hal says the word ‘frat house’. Bruce is undoubtedly still asleep or he would have ended this meeting minutes ago.

Apparently Clark has been staring at Hal a little too intently for a little too long while he was trying to understand what the man was even talking about because now Hal turns to him with an apologetic look on his face. “I’m sorry, Kal-El. I totally forgot to explain to you and J’onn what a fraternity is.”

This doesn’t raise any immediate red flags for Clark—which, big mistake. Is it a little odd that Hal thinks he wouldn’t know what a fraternity is? Sure, but Clark doesn’t exactly look like someone who spent a significant amount of his time in university in frat houses (it was twelve minutes in total and he regrets every single one of them), so it’s probably just that.

“I think I have already gathered all the essential facts from your story,” J’onn says before Hal can start his explanation, looking vaguely unenthusiastic at the prospect of hearing more about fraternities and frat parties and whatnot.

“And I’ve been to a frat party before, so no worries,” Clark adds. (Yes, this is about the aforementioned twelve minutes and no, he doesn’t want to elaborate.)

Hal furrows his brow, while the rest of the League, minus Diana, J’onn and Bruce, turn to them with matching questioning looks on their faces. “When did you go to a frat party?”

Now, that is definitely more than a little odd. Since when are his colleagues that interested in minor details about his private life?

“Uh, when I was in university,” Clark responds, still not seeing what the big deal is—which, again, big mistake.

“So, what?” Barry asks. “Did you just look up universities near you and walk into the first frat house you saw or was it, like, by accident?”

Now it’s Clark’s turn to furrow his brow. “No, it was in my first semester at uni and my friend dragged me along to socialise, but we left after a while because it just wasn’t nice.”

“You went to university?” Oliver asks at the same time that Hal says, “I didn’t know you had friends other than us!”

Okay, ouch. That is definitely a little hurtful. He may be a little introverted at times, but he definitely has friends other than the League, and Lois, for that matter. He stares at his friends blankly. “Yes, I went to university and yes, I have friends who aren’t you. Why would you think I didn’t?”

“Well,” Barry starts to say, then pauses and thinks for a moment before he continues. “We’re obviously very happy for you. We were honestly a little worried that you were getting lonely,”—Oliver, Hal and Dinah nod along emphatically at that bit—”It’s just a little unexpected for us with your full-time job being Superman and you living in the Fortress and stuff.”

Pause. What the fuck is happening? Clark considers about a hundred possibilities, ranging from ‘this is all a really weird dream’ to ‘my friends have somehow completely lost it in the five minutes I wasn’t listening’, before he decides that actually, none of this makes sense and the only thing he can even say to all of this is, “What?”

Oliver shoots a confused look at Barry before he picks up where the latter left off. “We’re really not trying to sound ignorant here, we just didn’t think you were very involved in the human world, apart from being Superman of course.”

“It’s not because you’re an alien,” Dinah assures him quickly, “I mean, J’onn is alien too and he has a job and everything, but your home is literally called ‘The Fortress of Solitude’.”

The others are clearly trying to explain this whole thing to him, but Clark just gets more confused with every word they say. He glances over at Diana, a pleading look in his eyes, but she just lightly shakes her head, clearly trying to hold back laughter. Apparently she understands what the hell is going on but won’t tell him. Traitor. Clark decides that, under these circumstances, now would be a good time to wake Bruce and lightly kicks him in the shin under the table. Bruce doesn’t visibly startle, but he glares at Clark with his infamous Bat-glare, which would be a lot more effective if Clark didn’t witness Lois glaring at Lombard in a similar fashion on a weekly basis when he bothered her while she was in the middle of writing an article. He's pretty desensitised to glares of all kinds at this point, thank you very much. Bruce obviously doesn’t say anything, as to not give away to the others that he has, in fact, not been attentively listening but napping for the past twenty minutes.

“I don’t live in the Fortress,” Clark says, since he is obviously on his own in this and that is the only thing he can think of.

“What do you mean?” Hal asks, a look of utter confusion visible on his face.

“I do not live in the Fortress of Solitude,” Clark repeats. “It’s kind of like my base of operations. The place where most of the surviving Kryptonian knowledge and artefacts are stored, but it's not my house or anything. Why would I want to live there anyway? It's in the Arctic and completely made of ice and that's not all that comfortable.”

“But if you don’t live in the Fortress,” Barry says slowly as if he’s piecing together critical information and not inquiring about Clark’s current place of residence, “Where do you live?”

“In my flat in Metropolis.”

Oliver looks completely lost—a sentiment Clark shares. “But how do you pay for that?”

Clark looks at his friends as if they’ve all gone spontaneously mad, which is a theory that sounds more and more realistic with every inane question they ask him. “With my money, which I earn at my job.”

“You’re getting paid to be Superman?” Hal asks, sounding scandalised and at least mildly offended.

“What? Who would even—what?” Up until this point Clark had tried to be polite and answer his colleagues' questions, no matter how strange they are, but this is too far. “Are you, and I say this with the utmost respect, are you all insane?”

Instead of an answer, he receives a round of blank stares.

“If this is a joke, please stop because I clearly don’t get it and, to be honest, I’m starting to get really concerned about you.”

Still no answers, and now Clark is starting to feel like he’s the one losing his mind. This is when Diana finally decides to chime in, and Clark can honestly say that he has never been more grateful for her. “Kal,” she says slowly, looking directly at him, “Is there a possibility you forgot to inform the rest of the League about your civilian identity? Or the fact that you even have one?”

Oh, fuck. This can not be real. This is not happening right now. This is-

“You have a civilian identity?” Oliver interrupts his train of thought in an overly incredulous tone.

“Yes, obviously,” Clark answers. “I didn’t think that was something I had to specifically tell you about. There’s a reason all of us are keeping our civilian lives private, well, all of us except Hal, maybe. But just because I don’t really talk about mine doesn’t mean I don’t have one. Batman doesn’t talk about his either, but I’m pretty sure that none of you are assuming he’s Batman full-time either, right?”

“Well, no,” Barry says, “But he also doesn’t call his house ‘The Fortress of Solitude’.”

“I do not live in the Fortress,” Clark reiterates for what feels like the umpteenth time. “And I’m not Superman full-time, I do have a civilian identity like the rest of you and I’m very sorry for not telling you, but I didn’t think it was something I had to specifically confirm for you.”

“So you really did go to a regular university and live in a normal flat in Metropolis?” Hal asks.

“Oh my God!” Clark throws his head back in exasperation. He is officially no longer having a great week. Next to him, Diana snickers. That’s it, the only League members who are getting holiday presents this year are J’onn and Bruce. Diana is officially off the list. Clark slowly dips his head back down and looks at Barry, Hal, Oliver and Dinah one after the other. “I was raised in Kansas by my parents, they are human and adopted me when I was about one year old, before any of you get any ideas. I went to high school like any other teenager would, and when I was eighteen I got into university on a football scholarship. I finished university a few years ago and now I live and work in Metropolis.”

There are a few moments of merciful silence as his friends process what he just told them, and Clark almost sighs in relief. Almost.

“Could you, uh, define ‘a few years’ a bit more clearly?” Dinah asks, obviously trying to sound tactful and not offend him.

“Yeah, how old are you exactly?” Hal adds, clearly having no such reservations.

“Twenty-six. Give or take a few months because of the adoption.”

“Twenty-six?” Barry shouts at the same time that Dinah buries her head in her hands and murmurs, “Oh God.”

“You’re not twenty-six,” Hal says firmly. “You’re not twenty-six because that would mean I’m a full two years older than you and that simply cannot be true.”

Now, this is just rude. He doesn’t act older than twenty-six, at least in his opinion, and he certainly doesn’t look it.

“Wait,” Diana interjects, “How old did you think he was?”

“I don’t know!” Hal is obviously severely distraught by the fact that Clark is a little younger than him. “Like two-, maybe three hundred years old, how would I know?”

Clark is shocked. Diana bursts out into laughter and even Bruce is struggling to hide his amusement now, the rest of the League wouldn’t notice, but it’s obvious to Clark when he glances over at him. Bruce is definitely off the holiday present list as well. Clark simply can’t hold back anymore. “Three hundred years? Are you kidding me?”

Diana laughs even harder and Clark kicks her under the table, which doesn’t phase her at all. (No, he’s not being childish. Shut up.)

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that. He probably just assumed you would be older because you’re practically immortal in comparison to some other people here.” This is the first time J’onn speaks up since the beginning of this conversation, and Clark is so very grateful for it. He knows that J’onn isn’t actively using his telepathy to read the team’s minds, but he’s never sure how much the man subconsciously picks up on. It is, however, evident that he picked up enough to know that Clark has a civilian identity. Or maybe he just has the common sense the rest of their friends seem to have misplaced, who’s to say? Clark nods weakly at him in thanks. He is so ready for this conversation to be over. All he wants to do is go home and not tell Lois about this incident when she asks him how the meeting went because he knows she would never let him live it down.

“We’re so sorry about this. This is a pretty stupid misunderstanding and we shouldn’t have made assumptions about your private life,” Dinah says because she’s a normal, sensible person, unlike the rest of his so-called friends.

“It’s fine, really,” Clark assures her. “I’m not mad, just…surprised, is a good word for it, I think, about some of your assumptions. But since it’s all cleared up now, I think it would be a good idea for all of us to end this meeting here and go home. Unless there are any other burning questions?”

While the rest of the League seems to have heard what he said, they don’t look like they will be answering him any time soon. The traitorous traitors Bruce and Diana are too busy trying not to start laughing (again) and Hal, Barry and Oliver are apparently still processing the fact that he has a life outside the Justice League and being Superman. Clark is seriously considering just getting up and leaving at this point, which would be a very rude thing to do to his friends and he knows his mum would be scolding him for it if she knew, but it’s not like they’re going to get anything productive done and the meeting should have ended at least twenty minutes ago anyway.

Then Barry shakes his head and—God help Clark—starts to speak again, “Dinah’s right. It’s just all very surreal right now. I mean, up until now we thought being Superman was what you did all day and now we find out you went to high school and uni and have a flat and a job and everything. Next, you’ll be telling us you’re actively dating or something.”

(If Clark had a time machine this would be the moment he’d travel back to later and shut himself up because Barry was clearly joking, not asking a question, and he doesn’t need to say anything in response. He just needs to nod, smile, say goodbye, get up, leave and never ever bring this situation up again. Of course this isn’t what he does, though.)

“I’m married, actually.” Shit. He didn’t mean to say that. He didn’t mean to say that at all.

“Married? You’re married?” Hal’s voice has risen at least three octaves in tone.

As his only normal friends, J’onn smiles warmly and gives him a double thumbs up (?) and Dinah rolls her eyes and mouths ‘sorry’ at him before she says, “I’m very happy for you. Congratulations.”

Clark smiles warmly at both of them, trying his best to not let his smile look too strained. This has all been a bit much.

“I can’t believe it,” Oliver mutters, because apparently the universe has condemned Clark to eternal suffering via awkward situations and annoying friends, but before he can even say anything to that, Oliver turns away from him to point an accusing finger at Bruce. “Did you know about this?”

This isn’t that bad, Clark thinks, Bruce always acts very serious in the presence of the whole League and he surely won’t contribute anything to this conversation. This is fine. But Bruce smirks and Clark can feel the horror rising in his chest like a physical thing when his friend says, “I was at the wedding. As his best man.”

All hell breaks loose at Bruce’s admission because of course it does. Barry gasps, a full on overdramatic, broadway-worthy gasp, while Hal looks like someone just punched him in the face and Oliver is staring at Bruce with the most unamused expression Clark has ever seen on him. Diana starts laughing so hard she’s crying, and Bruce looks like holding back his own laughter is causing him physical pain. (He manages it though because God forbid the Justice League ever sees him as anything other than the overly serious Dark Knight.) Clark has no idea what Dinah or J’onn are doing, he’s too busy regretting every single decision he has ever made that led him to this point.

“Okay, please calm down everyone,” Clark says and miraculously they actually do. “I am not angry at you,” he reassures them again, “But I do think you’re overreacting a little.” He would say more than that, but he really just wants the conversation to end and never be brought up again.

“A little is a bit of an understatement,” Bruce mutters under his breath. Clark shoots him a dirty look because Bruce could’ve at least helped him end this sooner. Bruce smirks at him ever so briefly. Clark rolls his eyes. “While this seems to have been very enlightening for some of you, I suggest we end this meeting now. Unless there’s an emergency, we’ll see each other next week. Diana, Kal and I will schedule something.”

And with that, the meeting finally comes to an end. Clark has never been more thankful for anything in his life. (A blatant lie.) The general commotion at the end of every meeting starts with everyone getting up and saying their goodbyes. Normally, Clark would stay behind to chat and catch up on their personal lives with Diana and Bruce, but today he’s getting out of here as fast as possible and polite. He’s almost at the door when Bruce, in front of everyone, calls out to him, “Enjoy the next episode of The Bake Off! The season 5 finale is especially good!”

Clark is going to murder him. He’ll do it, really. “One more word from you and I’ll get your son a drum set for Christmas.”

Everyone’s attention immediately shifts to Bruce, who looks absolutely mortified and rushes out of the door with a hurried ‘see you next week’. Clark follows him, leaving a confused Justice League—minus Diana and J’onn—in their wake. He can hear Barry say that the last part was surely a joke and everyone else agreeing emphatically. Apparently, the one thing more unbelievable than Clark being married is Batman being a father. If only they knew.

“Just so you know,” Bruce says as they’re walking side by side, “If you actually get Dick a drum set for Christmas, I will be repaying the favour as soon as you and Lois have children. Don’t think I won’t.”

Clark throws his head back and laughs loudly. “Then I hope you’re patient because Lois and I aren’t even thinking about having children at the moment and when we do it’s still going to be some time before they can even hold a drumstick.”

“It's a good thing then that there’s an abundance of noisy light-up toys I could buy for a baby out there.”

Clark groans.

“What do you think about a Furby? They’re nice, aren’t they?” Bruce says with a mock contemplative expression on his face.

“I’m taking your name off the potential godparent list as soon as I get home,” Clark threatens, although he’s not serious at all.

Now it’s Bruce's turn to laugh. He pats Clark’s shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Just know that I’ll tell Lois that the League honestly thought you didn’t have a normal life and that you were three hundred years old the next time I see her.”

Clark punches him in the arm. Bruce laughs even louder.

#clark kent #bruce wayne #diana prince #superman #batman #wonder woman #lois lane #the justice league #dcu #dc comics #clois #fanfiction

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