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The Flying Monk

In class this week, Master Ricardo told the students the story of the Flying Monk at the Shaolin Monastery. He reminded them that the Shaolin Monastery is a Buddhist temple in China. The monks who live there are “fighting monks,” which means that when they are not studying the Buddhist teachings or doing the chores around the monastery, they are training in martial arts. Much like we do here, they learn kicks and punches and throws and weapons. And unlike other stories kids hear about fairytales and superheroes, the Shaolin temple is a real place, and the fighting monks still train there even to this day. Now, many of the stories about Shaolin take the form of legends, because the temple is over 1000 years old. But presumably the legends are all based on real people, who lived hundreds of years ago, and did extraordinary things that have been passed down over generations. There was one monk, a long time ago, who had amazing jumping power. It seemed that nothing was too high for him to jump over it, and no distance was too far for him to jump across it. That’s why they called him the Flying Monk. They asked the monk how he was able to do such incredible jumps. And he explained that when he was a young boy, and he first came to the monastery to train as a monk, his master gave him a task. Outside the monastery there was an empty dirt field with nothing in it. The only thing in the whole field was one tiny blade of grass. As part of the young monk’s training, his master told him that every morning he needed to go out to the field and jump over the blade of grass ten times. Well, over the years it turned out that the blade of grass was actually the sprout of a tree. As the boy got bigger and stronger, the tree also got bigger. But his job was the same: every day he jumped over it ten times. And by the time the sprout grew into a big full-sized tree, the monk could jump over it because he had been doing those jumps for years since he was a small boy. And that’s how the Flying Monk came to be able to do the amazing jumps. But the point is that he started off small. Ten jumps over a blade of grass isn’t that much. But the tree was growing, and as the tree grew, the boy needed to jump higher. And trees don’t grow quickly; they grow slowly over many years. So the strength of the monk’s jumping ability was built up slowly and consistently over all that time. For the students in class, the moral of the story is that no matter what you are struggling with (for some it may be the pushups; for some it is flexibility or balance; it could be anything), with just a little bit of work every day, you can achieve amazing things. But it has to be consistent. You can’t quit and give up, or you’ll never be able to do it. If the monk had quit jumping over the sprout for a couple months, while the tree continued to grow, he probably wouldn’t have been able to jump over it anymore when he tried again. But that little bit of work, done every single day bit by bit, adds up. If you keep working, it doesn’t matter how long it takes, eventually you will achieve your goals.

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The True Beginning

In class recently, we talked about what it means to be a black belt. Master Ricardo asked the class, “What does it mean to be a black belt?” Right away several students raised their hands…. “It means you’re really good at Taekwondo.” “It means you know all the techniques.” “It means you’ll always win in a fight.” And to each response, Master Ricardo said no, that’s not it. Finally one of the students preparing for her black belt test raised her hand and said, “It’s like the real beginning of your training.” Yes, he told the class. Everything you are learning from white until black belt is like preparation. Think about an apprentice carpenter. Before he can learn to build a house, he first needs to gather up all his tools. He needs to get hammers, and saws, and levels. Without those things, he can’t create anything with carpentry. It’s the same for a color belt student. You are still gathering up all your tools. I can’t teach you how to really use a backspin -- how to create different situations in a match, or create different cool variations of a backspin -- if you don’t know how to backspin. So from white to red belt, that’s what we’re doing. We’re getting together all the tools we’ll need to really start training in Taekwondo. He told the class about another Master who held a black belt test, and 11 students tested to black belt. Then, after the test, all those students quit training except for 2. Nine of them thought, “Okay great! We got our black belts. We finished our journey and completed our goal, so that’s it.” Those students didn’t really understand the meaning of black belt. They didn’t understand that black belt is the true beginning. At black belt is when you start to really learn Taekwondo. So right now, all of you are preparing to learn. You’re getting your tools. Once you get to black belt, then you have all the necessary tools to start learning, to start creating, to start understanding what Taekwondo is really about. Right now, as a color belt, your goal might be to get to black belt. Or even, if you’re an orange belt right now, your goal might be just to get to yellow belt. And that’s okay; that’s great. But understand that each new belt is just a little step on the journey of Taekwondo. Reaching that goal of black belt is not the destination; it’s just the part where the journey starts to get really interesting. The biggest problem some people have is that they give up too soon. Imagine you’re digging for gold. You dig and you dig, and your arms get tired, and maybe you get bored, and you keep digging until you feel like you must have reached the end and you’ve seen everything there is to see. So you quit digging. But little do you know, there’s just a little half-inch layer of dirt at the end of your tunnel, and if you just push through that much, you’ll reach a cave full of gold. Just a half inch more and you would have had it, but you’ll never know that. That’s what it’s like to quit when you reach black belt. If you quit when you get that yellow belt, you’ll miss all the new tools you’ll gather at green and blue and purple belt. And if you quit when you get to black belt, you’ll miss the part where you can really start to understand and use and create Taekwondo. So don’t view your training like a checklist, where we just check off the boxes for each belt. Instead, view your training as a lifelong journey, and be excited to see where it takes you after each step.

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Teaching Students with Special Needs

We sat down with Master Ricardo to talk about his experiences teaching students with special needs, in his 20+ year teaching career in martial arts.

Q: First off, tell us about what kinds of special needs your students have had over the years.

I’ve taught students with a variety of special needs, both physical and also cognitive or behavioral. Students with cerebral palsy, with missing limbs… students with one arm, no arms, prosthetic legs. I’ve had students at different places on the Autism spectrum. All the way from cases where it’s virtually unnoticeable to an outside observer (where you might just think the kid was a little shy or even bratty), all the way up to much more pronounced cases. Take for example, one little boy who was totally unable to sit still or walk in a straight line. It took us six months to get to the point where he could do anything close to a jumping jack. And after that, the boy’s father came to the gym in tears because he never thought he would see so much visible physical progress in his child. I’ve had kids who were so shy they couldn’t speak. Students with epilepsy. Students who were so morbidly obese that they couldn’t sit in a chair, but were trying to get their lives back on track. I’ve had a couple deaf students, and some legally blind. Q: Do you think that Taekwondo has particular benefits for kids with special needs? I do feel like Taekwondo is a better fit than traditional sports (soccer, swimming, etc). Students do need physical activity; there is certainly benefit just in that by itself. But that part only helps you so much. Now, I’m not going to go the other way either, like some of these martial arts schools that don’t teach any practical technique. They’ll say, “Oh, but you learn confidence, and compassion, and how to be a better human being.” I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. But that’s not what’s special about Taekwondo. You can get that from a church group; you can get it from the Boy Scouts. That’s not it. I think the key is the structure, the way that martial arts are taught. I struggled in school. It was hard to keep me focused; it was hard to motivate me to do the work; it was hard to get me to learn the lessons. But at Taekwondo, I was a great student. And people will say, oh, you were just interested in that so you tried harder there. I think that’s a cop-out. I think the difference was in the methodology of the teaching. I think the way we teach, the way we structure things in martial arts is more in line with the natural learning process. The proof is when you take a child with emotional/behavioral/cognitive disabilities who can’t walk normally or say his own name, and via Taekwondo he becomes able to do both of those things. All you’re teaching him specifically is kicks and punches and blocks, but the changes that are happening in his body and happening in his mind are the evidence that the way we are teaching works. I have a student with cerebral palsy. Coming in the door, there was a list of things that she “couldn’t do,” none of which were put in her head by me. And I never showed her how to do those things. But I showed her how to do Taekwondo, and now she can do all those other things. I think it’s the structure of the Taekwondo -- how they receive it -- that makes it better. Q: What strategies do you use when teaching students with special needs?

The primary thing is to never forget that they are a kid first -- a person first. Kids need structure and education. So often people say “They’re just kids” as another way to say “Oh, just let them do what they want.” This is a mistake, because kids don’t know what they want, let alone what they need. I think the downside of being a compassionate person is that, once you’ve said to yourself, “This person has a Special Need and I need to help them because they can’t do it,” you’ve wiped the table of all the normal kid things they do. Take my kids with Autism, for example. I find that so many of the things they do, their parents have been told by experts “that’s the Autism making them behave that way; they can’t control that.” I think that’s often false. I see typical children do these same kinds of things. So for example, when any of my students -- kids with CP, kids with Autism or ADHD -- exhibit what I take to be “bratty kid” behaviors, I treat them like bratty kids. If we just write the “kid” part off, we’re limiting ourselves in what we can expect of them, and in how we can best help them. Don’t use the special need as an excuse to lower your expectations. If you have any child come in to the gym, they need to learn about appropriate behaviors, and rules, and structure, and consequences. If you have a child with Autism come in, they also need to learn about appropriate behaviors, and rules, and structure, and consequences. The difference will be how you teach it. A child with Autism might legitimately be having an issue fixating on something, and before they can learn anything you need to get them away from that. So push-ups isn’t going to work. Taking their belt away isn’t going to work. But we need to keep our rules and expectations like we would with any kid; they don’t just get a pass on that. And we can’t write off the possibility that some percentage of their behavior is due to regular kid stuff. Now, for kids with physical special needs like a missing limb, it’s the same. If you have a kid come into class with no hands, obviously you’re not going to teach him punching. But he doesn’t get a free pass. He still needs to do the techniques that require punching. It’s my responsibility to come up with another way for him to achieve the result. And when we do pushups in class, he doesn’t just get to sit around and watch. No, I have to find a different exercise for him to do, and not just feel sorry for him and say, “Oh, he just can’t do that because of his special need.” That’s taking the easy way out, and it doesn’t help the student. Q: How has teaching these students challenged you as an instructor? What I like about it is that it’s challenging. It forces me to evaluate and better understand my subject. Same example: how do I teach the kid with no arms to punch? I need to understand my subject matter well enough to come up with a practical solution to the problem. Anyone can take a kid who is natually gifted and really athletic and really smart and tell them, “Okay, do it like this.” And they do it, and it’s amazing, and the job’s done. We can all go home now. But now, if I’m going to hold this other kid to that same standard, it’s my responsibility to get them there. Likewise, if I have just any old kid who’s being disrespectful, it’s my job to teach them about self-control. But now, if I have a kid who has Autism, who is exhibiting behaviors that are “disrespectful,” I also have to teach him about self control. But the reason he doesn’t have self-control is completely different from the reason the first kid doesn’t have it. Both need to learn it, and it’s my job to figure out how to get both of them there. I spend hours when I’m at home by myself thinking about these kids, and thinking, “How am I going to get this kid where he needs to be?” And I might think I’ve seen all the angles, but then I go into class and, boom, there’s a new angle that I didn’t see. I like spending that time continuing to evaluate what I might otherwise write off as a subject I already know. People can say, “I’m a master, I already know that,” or “I’ve been in Taekwondo since the 70s, I already know this.” Okay, now teach it to this kid. Teach punching to the kid with no fists. Teach situps to the person who is so overweight they can’t sit in a chair. Teach a kid to stand on a leg they don’t have. Teach a kid to calm down whose nervous system is wired in a way that’s telling them not to calm down. And don’t do it with some other means. Do it using the martial arts that you know. That makes it exciting, to continue to assess and reevaluate my training. That’s what I love about teaching them. Now the downside is yes, it takes more time. It’s harder. Sometimes your gut or your intuition or your guess is wrong. And when it is, it’s brace yourself and change course as quick as you can, and try to get back to square one. And the most important part, try not to confuse or mess up the student. You can make a mistake that you didn’t think was a huge problem, but now you’ve completely ruined that student’s technique or behavior, and you’ve got to fix it. That part is hard. Q: What do you enjoy most, and what do you find most frustrating?

Like I said, I love the challenge. In society now, we are so misguided, everyone is telling us the same thing. The media tells us, parents tell us, even teachers tell us: don’t do it if it’s hard. Don’t do it if it’s going to be stressful. That is something wrong in our society. So, when you tell someone, “Here’s how you’re going to get good at this: get tired, and struggle, and put yourself under stress, and be frustrated, and put 1000 efforts into this.” People think that’s insane! But that is correct. That’s how we should be doing things. That’s the only way we’re going to progress. That’s what I teach to my students, and it applies to me as well. I like students who challenge me as an instructor. I like that it’s hard, and that I have to work at it, and that it takes an extra effort. I even like that there’s a chance I’ll fail. I love that I have to apply myself in a different way to teach these students. The frustrating part is when I do fail. Because you will make mistakes. If you fight long enough, you’ll get beat. It’s part of it. But what you do after that is important. And that’s not just what I’m saying now about my own work, it’s also what I’m teaching these kids. It’s okay to fail. Get your ass up and try again. Not because you’re a “special needs” kid and you’ll need that in your life, but because you’re a person and EVERYONE needs that in life. If I were to feel sorry for those students and let them slide, that would be robbing them of that necessary lesson. I need to hold them to a standard the way I do all my other students. If you want the same recognition, you need to be held to a standard like everyone else. But then the ball’s back in my court. If I’m going to hold them to the same standard, it’s my job to get them there. To make them good enough to be held to that standard. Q: How do you decide whether a student with special needs is ready to advance belts? Is there ever a case when you would decide: this student just cannot be a black belt? I think it’s unfair and self-serving, and really a lie, to tell a student, “Well, you have the spirit of a black belt, but physically you’ll never be a black belt.” I think that’s insane. That is your failure as an instructor, not theirs. What you’re telling them is, “I don’t want to put in the time to teach you.” So when you’re setting the standard for a student with special needs, you have to look at your standards carefully. You shouldn’t have any doubt about your standards, but you need to really clearly understand what’s behind them. Imagine to move from white to orange belt, you require students to break a board with a punch. (That’s not what our requirement is, but just hypothetically.) A student says, “Well, I can’t do that, can I just have the belt anyway?” And you say, “No of course not.” Because that’s the standard. Well, now I have a student come in without hands, and my standard is break a board with a punch. So I need to think about my standard. Is the goal of the standard to teach them to physically take their right hand and ball up all four fingers with their thumb wrapped around, and then hit the board with their first two knuckles? Is that the goal of the standard? Or is the goal of the standard to teach them a way to physically use their body to break that board into two pieces? In this example, let’s say we decide the goal is the second one. This kid doesn’t have fists, so he can’t do the punch. But could he break that board? Of course he could. So now it’s up to me to teach that student a way to use his body to break that board. I can’t go to the armless kid and say “grow arms.” That I can’t do. But I can say, “See this board? You’re going to make it into two pieces. How are you going to do that? The safest, most physically efficient way possible.” That student does a kick, and he does it the way I’ve taught him, and the board breaks. It’s by assessing your standards, and determining what the goals are and what they are not, that determines what adjustments you can make for a particular student while still maintaining the integrity of your requirements. Consider the kid with Autism who worked so hard to do the jumping jacks. We got that student to the point where he could break a board for his next belt. It took him far longer than it typically takes other students, but he got there. And the concessions that we made for his special needs were extremely minimal, and were limited to what we learned about him during that time and what he legitimately physically could not do. When you understand what you’re doing, you can apply that to anything. You can apply it to the cognitive differences; you can apply it to the physical differences; you can apply it to the emotional differences. And your decisions are informed by each individual student and what their needs are. You might have three different students who all have Autism, but they might have three very different sets of behaviors and needs that require different things. So, you understanding your standard is how you will come up with the appropriate requirements for each student. Imagine if I had a student who was missing both arms and both legs, you better believe that person is going to be doing all kinds of head butts, and body checks, and he’s going to use his hips and his shoulders and even his teeth. But he’s not going to say, “I just can’t do this, Master Ricardo. It’s impossible.” He doesn’t get to say that. If he does, he doesn’t get to be a black belt. And that doesn’t have anything to do with his body. That has to do with his teacher failing him, and with him not being willing to do what black belts do. It’s not special if everyone does it. It’s special if everyone CAN do it, but only the few actually do. That’s what makes it special. When you talk about the spirit of a black belt, that person is going to do what normal people refuse to do. They will do what others say is crazy and can’t be done. And it’s my job as an instructor to motivate them to do that and enable them to do that. Q: I posed the previous question because of a post on a martial arts teaching discussion group. An instructor had asked about how to determine whether a special needs student could be awarded a black belt. Among the responses was a post from another instructor describing a student at his own school who had polio, and could never be awarded a black belt because he could not complete the standards as set by their founding masters. Do you think any student with the right attitude can advance to black belt? The short answer is yes. I think that it was a failure of those instructors. You need to assess and understand your standards, and understand what the goals are. Sure, a student may have a physical limitation where they might not be able to kick someone in the head if they’re standing upright. But could you teach that student to tackle the guy and kick him in the head while he’s on the floor? I think the answer is yes. So the question is, what is the goal of your standard? Some might say, “Well, it’s Taekwondo… If you can’t roundhouse someone in the head, then you can’t do Taekwondo.” I would argue, punch them in the stomach, then when they bend over, roundhouse them in the head. That’s solving the problem, and that’s Taekwondo. Is the standard roundhouse to the head, or is the standard stretching? Sure, in a perfect world you want them to do it the way you did it. And when you did it, you had a more or less perfect body with good flexibility and you roundhoused to the head. But what is the problem you’re trying to solve? Some martial artists would say, “Well you’re changing the style.” And I would say, you don’t understand the problem. All martial arts were born to answer a question, a very open-ended question about self-defense. What do I do if X happens? Maybe X is what do I do when big strong mountain invaders try to take over my village and steal my crops? The answers to those kinds of questions over hundreds of years became martial arts. One guy said: kick them, and that became Taekwondo. And another guy said lock up his joints and break them, and that became Hapkido. And one guy said, use his weight against him, and that became Aikido. And one guy said, pull him down and roll around and get all sweaty with him and be Brazillian, and that became Jiu Jitsu. You have to understand your standards and where they came from. You have to understand what you’re actually asking of your students, and then it will become clear how to get there. Then you don’t have to make up some excuse like, “they have the spirit of a black belt but not the skill.” No, they might have the right attitude to become a black belt, but if they’re not a black belt it’s because you failed to teach them how to become one. If a boxer beats the crap out of me, then that boxer is more of a black belt than I am. Even though he can’t kick, and he can’t joint lock, and he can’t choke, and he can’t fly through the air, and he can’t kick me when I’m standing upright with his one leg all the way up to my face. But he can use what he has, which is his punch, and he knows how to use it to get the job done. You need to understand your standards, and then you’ll understand what is acceptable to pass or not pass. When I make an adjustment for a student, it might seem like I’m giving them a pass. No, I understand my standard. So if I need to make an adjustment to get you there, it’s still valid. Q: What would be your advice to other instructors, in the martial arts or otherwise? I said this in the beginning, but it’s important. Don’t forget that they’re children first, people first. And I don’t just mean that from a compassion standpoint, I also mean it from an authority standpoint. For example, when you have a disrespectful kid in class, treat them like a disrespectful kid. Don’t let them slide, or cave to it, that doesn’t do them any favors. But at the same time, remember that they’re students. Which means that it’s your damn job to teach them. Even when you’re frustrated, even when you’re upset, even when you’re at your threshold of I’m-not-putting-up-with-this; it’s your job to teach them. I think half of the bad experiences I had in grade school  were due to teachers who were quick to write me off as a bad student. You don’t have the luxury of writing me off. I need to learn these things, and it’s your job to teach them to me. So grow up, get over yourself, and never forget that it’s your job to teach them.

When I’m talking with my master buddies, occasionally we get on these rants where we are venting about our students. Yeah, it happens, don’t tell anyone. And guys are like, “I can’t believe they do this, or I can’t believe they do that.” Well, that’s your job. If they don’t know something, or if they’re bad at something, it’s because you haven’t done your job teaching it to them. And remember that, just like your own 6-year-old will try to sucker you for candy, or try to get out of working, a kid with Autism or ADHD will too. The kid with CP will too. Because they’re just kids. And don’t forget that, because it’s important. You can’t let them get away with it; it’s your job to disuade it. But at the same time you can’t take it personally. It’s their job to test the fences and push the envelope. You need to expect that. But that doesn’t mean let them get away with it.  It’s your job to show them the right way.

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Good In The Hood

A little inspiration for the Kindness Challenge. Please read what this 10-year-old boy most wishes for this holiday season. Snacks, so he is not the only child without. Pokemon cards. Such simple things that our own children take for granted. These things can make a huge difference in the life of a child in a difficult situation. Consider sponsoring a child or family this holiday season. Locally, consider the non-profit Good in the 'Hood: "Good in the ‘Hood takes great care in aligning families in need with the best potential sponsors based on their specific budgets and intentions. Sponsors have the option of assisting with the holiday gifts and meal of an individual, one family or many families. A guideline of $50 is given for presents for each child or adult. A $50 gift is also the recommendation for a meal to feed three to eight people. Sponsors can shop for the gifts with the help of a wish list provided by the family via the organization, or sponsors can elect to have a Good in the ‘Hood employee purchase the gifts based on the sponsor’s monetary commitment. Assistance is also provided by Good in the ‘Hood for the delivery of gifts and food, but the sponsors may find that they want to take the opportunity to greet the family they are helping this holiday season and deliver the gifts themselves." (From WCCO) http://www.goodinthehood.org/Our-Programs/Holiday-Help

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Kindness Challenge 2017

Bring some positive energy to your family, your neighborhood, and the world! The purpose of the Kindness Challenge is not only to spread joy in the holiday season, but also to teach our children - and remind ourselves - that the season is not about STUFF. Some suggestions... __1. Pay for the drink of the person in the car behind you __2. Donate toys or books to a homeless or battered women’s shelter __3. Take treats to your local police station __4. Take treats to your local fire station __5. Shovel a neighbor’s sidewalk __6. Take food to a food bank __7. Volunteer at Feed My Starving Children or soup kitchen __8. Send a card to someone who needs it __9. Learn about the holiday traditions of someone whose culture is different from yours. See if you can participate in one (making holiday treats, attending a service, etc). __10. Send a card to your (or your child's) teacher thanking them __11. Do an extra chore for your sibling/parent __12. Take a meal to someone in need __13. Donate old blankets or dog toys to an animal shelter __14. Donate a coat/gloves/mittens to a coat drive __15. Make someone a handmade gift  __16. Take a food gift and card to a neighbor. Preferably one you don't know, or the one you like the least. __17. Serve your spouse/parent breakfast in bed __18. Take a care package to someone who is sick with tissue, soup and NyQuil. __19. Invite someone out for coffee who needs a friend __20. Pick the most harried-looking person at the grocery store and give them a $5 coffee gift card __21. Pay for someone's things at the Dollar Store (most people spend less than $10) __22. Let someone go ahead of you in line at a store checkout __23. Make a bird feeder with your kids that can be left somewhere - pine cone with peanut butter rolled in birdseed - and leave them in trees while on a walk __24. Send a card to a deployed soldier (www.amillionthanks.org or something similar) __25. Offer cleaning help to an older neighbor/relative __Bonus: Buy a goat for a village (www.oxfamgifts.com or something similar) __Bonus: Sponsor a child at an orphanage (www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/ or something similar)

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From Master to White Belt

Master Ricardo, a 4th Degree black belt in Taekwondo, has recently started training in Jiu Jitsu. This past weekend, he competed in his first Jiu Jitsu tournament as a white belt. He took home a silver medal. Here he gives some of his thoughts about training in a new martial art, about the tournament and about competition in general.

Q: Why did you choose to start training in Jiu Jitsu, after more than a quarter century in Taekwondo?

A: Taekwondo focuses very heavily on kicking and punching, and stand up techniques. While we do some throws, we don’t specialize in throwing. And while we do some chokes, we don’t specialize in that either. Some joint manipulation, but that’s not our main thing. So from the martial arts perspective, I wanted to gain a more complete picture of the things that can happen in a fight. Q: How does it feel to be a white belt again?

A: The problem with that question is that I just love training. I’ve always loved training, and learning about the human body and how it works. At one point as a kid, my mom was pushing very hard for me to become a doctor, because it was clear that’s where my interest was: the body, the anatomy, and what it does. Unfortunately for my mom, I only cared about those things as it related to martial arts. With that in mind, it feels fine to be a white belt again. What I most enjoy about martial arts training is being a student: to do it, to practice it. That’s the one thing I don’t like as much about being a 4th degree in Taekwondo is that most of my time is spent watching other people do it, and the time for me to do it myself is limited. As a Master, it’s your job to help everyone else learn. So that’s one of the things I like about Jiu Jitsu. As a white belt, it’s exciting to learn something new. I like the challenge. When things are easy, when you can just walk in and figure it all out, I tend to get bored and walk away from it. I need the challenge to keep me engaged. Q: Why did you decide to do the tournament? A: As I said, I love to train and I love the challenge. So the easiest way to challenge yourself and to push, while maintaining safety, is at tournament. Sure, I could go start some bar fights or street fights, and tell myself, “Okay, in this fight I’m only going to use Jiu Jitsu.” Of course the old Masters did things like that. Grandmaster Yoon had scars all over from real-life confrontations. But that’s obviously frowned upon nowadays, and clearly sets a poor example especially when you train kids like I do. So, your next best bet is competition tournaments. So that’s why I wanted to start competing, and why I’ll continue to compete. Plus, it’s fun! When you’re working with your partners in class, and you know their moves and they know yours, and you’re helping them and they’re helping you, that’s good. But it’s only so helpful. Of course I can do the technique when it’s against some who is there to help me. But can I do the technique against someone who doesn’t want to help me, and has no interest in helping me, and is actually trying to do something back to me? It becomes a battle of selfishness. I’m trying to do my thing, he’s trying to do his. It sounds kind of bad, but it’s honest. That’s what you can’t get from just training on the mats. That’s the part that you can never really replicate without competition.

Q: How’d it go? What are you taking away from it? A: It was a good experience; it was fun. I made a friend and possible training partner. It was very different from my usual training from a size perspective. My first opponent was closer to my own size and strength. My usual training partners are great, talented, great people, but they are so much smaller than me. So it can be hard to tell how much of my success is because I’m getting the techniques down versus just being bigger and stronger. And you don’t want to win just because you’re bigger and stronger, because what happens when someone bigger and stronger than you comes along? So always working with smaller people is not ideal. But this guy at the tournament was not only my size, but actually a bit bigger. Strengthwise, the jury is still out because he swears I was stronger than him, but he felt stronger than me when we were fighting. I felt like I couldn’t do anything to him, but he also said, “Wow, you just grabbed me, and I’ve never had someone that strong grab me.” So that’s when we started talking about getting together to train. He has the same problem at his gym: all the guys he trains with are much smaller. And that was great! It was awesome to find someone who wants to train, who’s my same size and strength, that I will have to push myself to train with. He was excited about that too. Now, what I learned? It was okay, I wasn’t happy with how I lost the first match. But that’s just how I’m wired. If I won by one point, I want to win by ten points. And if I won my ten points, I want to win by knockout. I’m never satisfied with just getting the win, so when I lose, it’s that tenfold. And so, what do we do now? Well, we just train more and we try again. Until winning and overcoming the obstacles becomes the norm. And when it does, then you find other ways to challenge yourself. So in that regard, it’s really exciting. I haven’t been beat in a long time.

In talking to my opponents after the fact, one thing I took away and want to share with my students is: Believe in yourself. Believe in your techniques. At one point I got my first opponent in a particular move, and I felt like the move wasn’t working. So I gave up the technique and went to try something else. And later what my opponent told me is that he got worried when I got him in that technique because he knew he was done. His exact words were, “Three more seconds and I would have tapped out.” That just reminds me that I need to believe in my techniques. I had the technique in, I knew I had it, but I let that doubt come into my head. It’s a double-edged sword, because you don’t want to be afraid to try things, but on the other hand you’ve got to be like, “No, I’ve got this move and I’m going to make this move happen.” So that was a good reminder. When you spend all your time teaching, you’re not forced to think in that way or acknowledge the reality of those things. That would be my advice to my students. Believe in your techniques. Stick to your guns, and continue to push and challenge yourself. And change your attitude! It would be really easy for me to focus on the fact that I lost one match. But we have a saying in competition: You win or you learn. So when you think about it like that, sure, I may have lost against the one guy. But I learned so much. And that made it a good experience. And I probably would not have learned all those things the same if I had just won every match. Attitude is a big part of it. You can sit there and go, “Oh man, I lost,” or you can say, “Okay, what can I do better next time?” And I’m hungry. I want that win. I want the rematch.

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Taekwondo for Leadership Skills

Ms Jen here, writing what at first may come off as a “proud mom” post, but I promise there is more to it than that. In the previous post you can see a video of my fourth grade daughter, Poppy, giving her speech for Vice President of her elementary school. She chose to do the speech about the Tenets of Taekwondo: Courtesy, Integrity, Perseverance, Self-Control and Indomitable Spirit. In the speech, she explains what each of these means, and how those qualities make her a good leader. It got me thinking about some of the more intangible benefits of Taekwondo. I put my kids into this program originally because (1) I wanted them to get some exercise, and (2) I wanted them to learn some self-defense, since their various special needs make them potential targets for bullies. But I did not necessarily anticipate at that time all of the other things they would get out of martial arts. I adopted Poppy just shy of her 4th birthday, and she has been doing Taekwondo almost since she first arrived in the USA. While I would love to think that my fantastic parenting is 100% responsible for the amazing person that Poppy is today, I know that can’t be completely true. But what I do know for sure is that one of the best decisions I ever made for her as a parent was to keep her training in Taekwondo. In light of her school Vice Presidential campaign, and as she prepares for her junior black belt test after 6 years of training, I have to stop and think about all this program has done for her. A super-introverted, nerdy kid myself, I would have died rather than to get up in front of the whole school to give a speech (and break a board!). Poppy, on the other hand, walks willingly toward it, completely of her own volition, and IN SPITE OF being nervous and scared. This is something I never could have given her. But Taekwondo did. Taekwondo has taught her that she can face her fears. Being a member of the sparring team in particular has reinforced the idea that “FEAR means Face Everything And Rise above.” To stand in front of someone you don’t know, whose job it is to beat you, takes courage. At a belt test, to stand in front of a board you have to break, knowing you’ve failed at it in the past and that everyone is watching you, takes courage. Poppy has been doing these things since she was four years old. The day before the school election, Poppy told me several times how scared she was about giving the speech to the whole school. But never did she waver in her resolve to do it anyway. Taekwondo has taught her to help others and to rejoice in their victories. It’s part of the culture in class that the high belts help the lower belts; the lower belts help the white belts; and the white belts help the brand new students. Everyone has something to give. You encourage each other. You be a good partner, which includes pushing your classmates to work harder. We stay to watch our teammates spar at tournaments, and we go to watch belt tests and cheer on our classmates. Even though in sparring we train to compete, we all work to help each other improve in class.

Taekwondo has taught her courtesy. Yes, it’s one of the Tenets and therefore maybe obvious. But its effects are far-reaching. Poppy can talk to anyone. She is not afraid to go up to someone she doesn’t know and introduce herself, ask a question, offer help. She can address adults politely, make friends with other children easily. She was brand new to her elementary school this year, as a fourth grader, and during her campaign she had to meet and speak to many other kids she did not know and ask for their vote. This was possible for her because, at Taekwondo class, she knows it’s her responsibility to go up to new students, introduce herself, and help them learn. Taekwondo has taught her to move past disappointment. As a parent, I have often watched my kids struggle with something in class. Maybe they can’t get the moves of the pattern down and keep failing their challenges. Maybe they keep bouncing off the board instead of breaking it. Maybe they are in tears by the end of class. And as their mom I have desperately wanted to swoop in and tell them it’s okay, you don’t have to do it. I’ve wanted to ask Master Ricardo to give them one more chance, or to let them slide. But ultimately, NOT rescuing them from this has given them far more than I ever could by temporarily taking their frustration away. They’ve learned to cope with frustration. To move past it. Which is why Poppy decided to campaign for school Vice President, even though earlier in the year she lost an election for Student Council Class Representative and was inconsolable for a little while. She knew that all she could do was pick herself up and try again. Taekwondo has taught her to work hard. There is no participation award here, no medal for just showing up. If she wants that next stripe, that next belt, that trophy at tournament, she knows the only way she is going to get it is with hard work. And she sees it pay off. Maybe she spends weeks doing a 360 axe kick on a paddle, every class, getting bored and tired and sore. But then on test day, she slices through the board like it’s nothing and gets handed a brown belt while her family and classmates all cheer. Maybe every single Saturday she spends 2 hours sweating through a brutal sparring workout, then doing free sparring, instead of sleeping in and playing video games. But then at the tournament, she is kicking hard and feeling fine in the second round while her opponent is exhausted. She knows that’s what it takes, and it’s what helped her put hours of work into writing and practicing her speech for school. These benefits are all things she has gained IN ADDITION to being super physically fit and healthy, and IN ADDITION to having the skills, strength and knowledge to defend herself should (god forbid) she ever need to. The physical benefits of course are fantastic, and are what I originally sought in signing them up for Taekwondo. But the more intangible lessons are the reason I’ve kept them here, and will continue to keep them training. I’m super proud of all they have learned and achieved here. Thanks for watching Poppy’s speech.

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Taekwondo for Leadership Skills! One of our 4th graders, Ms Poppy, ran for Vice President at her elementary school. She chose to write her speech about Taekwondo. Please listen as she explains how the Tenets of Taekwondo have helped her become a great leader. Find us at www.AmbitionTKD.com, 651-600-3285, Eagan MN.

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ONLY 2 WEEKS LEFT of our Mitten Drive for Rahn Elementary. It's supposed to snow tomorrow! 😮❄️☃️ Unfortunately some kiddos will be out waiting for the bus without any winter gear to keep them warm. Please help us fill up our box with new or GENTLY used waterproof mittens and warm hats. Bring items in (or drop them off with a student) before November 15th. Ambition Taekwondo, 1959 Shawnee Rd #115, Eagan MN 55122.  www.AmbitionTKD.com

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Goal Setting

This week, Master Ricardo has been speaking to the classes about Goal Setting. This theme included an at-home assignment for our students. There were three main points:

1. The first thing you have to realize is that all the work you’re doing today -- all the pushups, all the situps, all the sweating, all the kicks, all the punches -- is not for today. It’s not going to benefit you TODAY. It’s going to benefit Future You. What is Future You? It’s you in a month, or you in a year, or in 10 years. For example, in a month, Future You is going to be stronger because of the pushups you did in class today. In a year from now, Future You is going to be much healthier, much stronger, much faster, and a much higher belt. But that’s because of all the work you are doing TODAY. What you do each day is for helping Future You.

2.  Master Ricardo asked the students to go home after class, get a piece of paper, write down two goals: a long-term goal, and a short-term goal. A long-term goal is something that you want to achieve after several months or even several years. For example, if you ask all the kids in the class if they want to be black belts, everyone will raise their hand. Becoming a black belt takes around 4 years. So that’s a long-term goal. Future You in 4 years should be a black belt if you keep doing all this work now. A short-term goal is something you want to achieve sooner. For example, if you’re a white belt, maybe you want to get all your stripes for your orange belt test. That’s an example of a short-term goal. Future You in a couple months should be testing for your orange belt if you work hard every day. Master Ricardo’s long-term goal is to become a 9th Degree black belt. His short-term goal is to get to his 5th Degree. These don’t have to be Taekwondo goals. They can be anything you want. You can have goals related to school, homework, grades, other activities, getting along with siblings, anything. What we want to start doing is getting into the habit of setting goals. So write down the two goals on a sheet of paper. Younger students can get a parent’s help. Then bring them in to class so we can talk about them.

3. Follow-up, after students bring their goals sheets in to class: Now we need to start planning for our goals.

Think about this… It would be really cool to be able to do 1000 pushups. But unfortunately most of us cannot do 1000 pushups right now, today. But that’s okay, we can make a plan. Today, we’ll do 10 pushups. And tomorrow, we’ll do 10 pushups. And every day, we’ll do those 10 pushups until they get really easy. Then we’ll do 20 pushups every day. When those get easy, we’ll do 30 pushups. That’s our plan. And before you know it, Future You will be able to do those 1000 pushups! So, we’ve set our goals and made our goal sheets. Now we’re going to hang them someplace where we can see them every day to remind us. And we need to make a plan to achieve those goals. The best way to do that is to break it down into small steps, bit by bit, just like we talked about with the pushups. We can do something every single day, and it may be just a small thing, but it gets us just a little closer to our goals. The important thing is to remember that the work you are doing today is helping Future You become whatever you want to be.

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Finishing Strong

This week in class, Master Ricardo has been speaking to students about the idea of “finishing twice as strong as you started.” We’ve noticed that the energy in class lately has been a bit low. Students are lining up at the start of class with the facial expression and body posture of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. We can probably chalk most of it up to a new school year beginning, and everyone getting used to their new routine. But we’d like to get everybody thinking about the energy and attitude they bring to class, and see what we can do to take it up a few notches! We want everybody to make an effort to “finish twice as strong as you start”! Maybe you do come into class feeling a bit tired or unmotivated. Maybe you start out just doing “okay” work. But by the end of class, we want everybody to have shaken that rust off and be doing their very best work and bringing their best energy. If you were in class, you might have seen Master Ricardo demonstrate this idea with a roundhouse kick. He started off doing a “good” roundhouse. All the students agreed that it was a perfectly fine, acceptable roundhouse. He hit the target; bottom foot was turned over; he yelled when he kicked. That was a pretty good starting roundhouse. As class continues, what we DON’T want to have happen is for that roundhouse to get softer and lazier, and the yells to get quieter. Instead, we want you to strive to do each roundhouse just a little bit better than the last one. Master Ricardo demonstrated an “end of class” roundhouse: super fast, bottom foot turned a full 180 degrees, using the knee, big loud yell. He even scared his holder a little bit, and made their arm with the paddle go flying. That’s what we want! Our students are lucky: you are training at the best Taekwondo school in the state. We have the best mats, the best equipment, and (obviously!) the best instructor. You have the opportunity to learn the very best martial arts here. But you won’t get the best out of this program if you don’t bring YOUR best to class every day. We want every kick to be just a little bit faster and stronger than the previous one, so that by the end of class, you are finishing twice as strong as you started. If you’re doing sit-ups, maybe your first sit-up is a perfectly good, okay sit-up. But by the last one, you are doing awesome situps. Touching your elbows to your knees, keeping your hands on your head, banging them out nice and quick. We want your yells by the end of class to be twice as loud. Your pushups to go twice as low, and the boards to break twice as easy. This attitude is what will help you constantly improve, and become your very best. If you work like this everyday in Taekwondo class, you start forming the habit of working like this in every aspect of life. At school, you’re concentrating twice as hard on your math problems at the end of class as you were when class started. Adult students, at the end of the day when you’re tired and you just want to go home, you are still pushing to do even better work than you did when you got to your job in the morning. In school, this makes for better grades and better learning. At work, that attitude can make for raises and promotions. Not only that, but it’s more fun! If you were in class for Master Ricardo’s roundhouse demo, you saw that when he did his first “pretty good” roundhouse, all the students in line just stood and watched, didn’t say much. But when he did his “finish twice as strong” really awesome roundhouse, with his twice as strong yell, everybody was smiling and excited. That energy makes class more fun, helps you learn, makes working with you more fun for your classmates, and makes the gym a better place to be. It’s fun to push yourself, and it’s a great feeling to do your best work.

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Personal Safety

This is Ms Jen, writing as part of our continuing effort to let families know what Master Ricardo is talking to students about during the kids’ classes. We know not all families are able to watch the classes, so we will be sending out emails with “mat chat recaps.” Please ask your children about these issues and get their perspectives. Last week, Master Ricardo talked to the students about personal safety, and touched on some topics that might be a bit scary for kids (and parents!). He kept the discussion fairly brief and general, but the hope was that it would spark a more in-depth conversation at home between parents and children.

Personal safety is on our minds right now for two reasons. First, some of you may have heard the news story last week of the 15-year-old girl from Alexandria who was kidnapped, and a few weeks later managed to escape from her captors by swimming across a lake to reach help. As parents, when we read something like this, our minds immediately flash to “This could have been my child.” And we all give thanks that our own kids are safe and sound where they should be. Second, for me personally, last week was the first time that my children have walked to and from the school bus stop on their own (I’ve always driven them to school in the past). Sending them out the door in the morning, to wait alone on the corner, was scary for me as their mom. And of course, being a Minnesotan of a certain age, this time of year always brings up thoughts of Jacob Wetterling -- he was in my same grade and I remember vividly when his story came to light. That was the year in Minnesota that parents stopped letting their kids run around the neighborhood without worry. As the mom of four advanced-belt Taekwondo students, including two junior black belts, I have no doubt that my children have the knowledge and the strength to defend themselves. I really believe that they could injure a full-grown adult who tried to do them harm, stop someone who tried to grab them, or at the very least make it so difficult for that person that they might give up (or help would arrive). I have every faith in their abilities and what they’ve been taught, which in part is why I’ve been such a big supporter of Ambition’s programs for over 7 years. What I feel less sure of is… would they? Would they know who they can accept a ride from? Would they know when it’s appropriate to speak to a stranger? Would they be fooled into getting into a car by someone asking for their help, or offering to show them something cool? Would they know that it’s okay to use their Taekwondo against an adult if they feel threatened? When I speak to my kids about bus stop safety, I start with making sure they look both ways before they cross a street, that they stay on the sidewalk and don’t play near the road. Even for older kids who are not first-time bus riders, these are always good reminders. But what Master Ricardo spoke briefly about last week, and what we’d like to urge parents to address with their kids more at length, is the personal safety side of the discussion. Some points to cover: - Make a list of people that children are allowed to accept rides from. Make it clear that under no circumstances should they go with anyone else, even if they know the person. (The teen in Alexandria was kidnapped by a family friend, who said her family had an emergency.)

- Children should be taught to check with parents first before accepting gifts from anyone or allowing themselves to be photographed.

- If anyone tries to make the child do something they don’t want to do, they should yell “I NEED HELP” or “CALL 911” in a low, strong voice (NOT a high-pitched scream, which can sound like kids playing or laughing).

- Kids should trust their gut. If someone gives them a bad (“uh-oh”) feeling, they should trust that feeling and get away from the person. If someone asks them to keep a secret from their parents, that should be a red flag for them to leave the situation and tell a parent or teacher immediately.

- It should be made clear to children that what they are learning in Taekwondo class is for self-defense, and that they can and should use it for that purpose. They don’t need to worry about being nice or getting in trouble. If someone tries to force them into a situation that makes them uncomfortable, they should kick, punch, bite, scratch, knee, elbow, and everything else they can do to get away. They will not get in trouble. For lots of good suggestions about how to talk to your kids about these things, in an age-appropriate way, please check out the Jacob Wetterling Resource Center. http://www.gundersenhealth.org/ncptc/jacob-wetterling-resource-center/keep-kids-safe/

It can be an upsetting topic, both for parents and kids, but a very important one to cover -- not just once, but over again in different ways as kids grow up. We raise the topic in class because awareness of personal safety is a huge part of self-defense. Our students are developing great skills here, getting stronger and more knowledgeable about how to defend themselves physically. We pray that they will never need to use their skills in this kind of situation, but want them to be prepared (both physically and mentally) if they do.

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Hitting the wall

Last week, Master Ricardo spoke to the kids’ classes about the idea of pushing through when you “hit a wall.” Below is a recap of that discussion. While it was directed at our younger students, there is some good stuff in here for adults (and parents!) as well. Please read on... Master Ricardo recently ran into a former student of his from a long time ago. The student is an adult now, but trained for about a year as a child before losing interest, as kids of course sometimes do. He gradually stopped showing up to class, and eventually quit altogether. Now as an adult, he looks back on that decision with regret. He told Master Ricardo that he wished his parents had not allowed him to quit when his interest started to flag. He remembers that there were so many things he wanted to learn and do when he first started, but after a while he lost sight of those things. He wishes his parents had made him stick with it in the long run.

When Master Ricardo asks a class, “How many of you really like Taekwondo?” of course all the students’ hands shoot up. That’s great, because you are learning a lot of really important things here. And it’s awesome to be excited to come to class, and to look forward to learning new things, and to set goals.

But we want to warn you that someday, there will come a time when you start to lose excitement. Maybe you get busy, or bored, or frustrated, or just start to feel more interested in something new. It happens to everybody. Just look at any of the black belts you see at the gym -- it has happened to all of us too. For some of us it may even be happening right now. We call it “hitting the wall.” When you hit the wall, you lose sight of your goals and you just want to quit. Right now, you’re really excited about Taekwondo and you have some great goals in mind. Maybe you want to learn a bunch of cool new kicks; maybe you want to break boards; maybe you want to be a black belt! Those are all awesome things that you will be able to do if you stick with this. But if you quit once you “hit the wall,” you will miss out on those things.

For our kid and teen students, we’d like you to do two things. First, go home and tell your parents “Thank You!” for signing you up for Taekwondo and bringing you to class everyday. Because that means your parents care about you and want good things for you. Tell your parents that you’re excited to learn new things, and talk to them about your goals. Then, tell your parents about “hitting the wall.” And tell them, “Okay Mom and Dad, sooner or later I’m going to want to quit. Please don’t let me.”  Because if I can just get past that, and work through it, then I will be able to get back to the excitement I feel right now, and I will be able to achieve all the goals I’m setting for myself. (Not to mention the goals Mom and Dad have for their kids.... be it fitness, self-defense, focus, discipline, etc.)

Everyone we have ever talked to who has quit when they “hit the wall” has regretted it. They wish they had pushed through and kept working toward their goals. And those of us who are still training all remember those periods of wanting to quit, and are all so glad in retrospect that we did not. If you know ahead of time that you’ll probably feel that way one day, it can help you prepare yourself to push through and stay focused on your goals, and set up your family support system to help you when you need that extra push.

Think about going to school. A lot of you as kids have probably felt like you didn’t want to get up and go to school in the morning, whether it was a hard class or a long homework assignment, or you just felt bored. But of course your parents didn’t let you quit. Because they know that in order to achieve the big goals in your life, you need all the things you’re learning at school. So you just have to push through. And in the long run, you’ll be glad that you did. For our parents, realize that it’s the same with Taekwondo. The goals that our students are working towards -- getting ready for their next test, working on a particular break, eventually earning their black belts -- are great goals. In working towards them, they are learning all kind of important things even apart from the physical benefits. Things that all parents want for their kids. They are learning to focus, to follow directions, to work hard for something they want, to be a good partner and work as a team, to have confidence in themselves, to control their behavior, and most importantly to persevere when things are hard. Taekwondo can give them all these benefits, but sometimes they need some help to keep their eyes on their goal.

For our adult students, you need to be aware of “hitting the wall” too.  All of you have enough life experience to know what hitting the wall feels like in other areas, like school or work. And even though Taekwondo is something you have chosen to do in your free time, that doesn’t make it any less important. When you started, you had goals. You started for a reason. Maybe you want to get in better physical shape or lose weight; maybe you want to learn self-defense; maybe you are looking for stress relief and balance in your life; maybe you wanted to set an example for your kids; maybe you always wanted to be a black belt. You can still do all these things, even though sometimes it may feel impossible. Our younger students look to their parents to give them that extra push or reminder when those times come. We are more than happy to play that role for our adult students. If you feel like you are hitting a wall, please come talk to us for some perspective and motivation. Remember that nothing worth having comes without effort.

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Well, we have successfully completed another amazing Eagan Funfest! As I said in my previous post, this is one of my favorite events. This year's event did not disappoint: the weather was gorgeous for all three days, and we met some great people. My hope is that we can turn those people into great students some day. Speaking of great students, I am most impressed that all my student helpers did such a wonderful job. Despite the fun sights and sounds and food (yeah, I know I am supposed to be eating clean... but it was my one-time-only cheat day -- 3 days to be exact!) at these events, they are also a lot of work. We put lots of effort into showing people what we can do and how great our academy is. None of this would be possible if not for those brave students who come out to volunteer their time and energy. These men, women and children decided to spend their 4th of July with me at a booth next to a carnival, telling people about how much they love our gym and teaching them some of what we do. They did it with the best of attitudes and with huge smiles on their faces. I feel blessed when I think about all they did. In short, I would like to say thank you to all of our volunteers for everything! You guys and gals are the lifeblood of our academy, and I am honored to be your instructor and your friend. Thank you all, and I can't wait for the next big event to see you all shine once more.

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So it is that time of year again, Eagan Funfest is here! This is one of my favorite events of the year; it’s like a mini State Fair. Carnival rides, live music, face painting, car show, tons of food trucks -- it’s a great place to spend a weekend with the family. It all ends with a big fireworks show on the 4th of July. So for us this means setting up our booth and displays, and getting our students to come show the local community who we are and what we’re all about.  If you stop by our booth, our students can teach you some basic taekwondo kicks, and you can even try to break a board. Grab one of our fun temporary tattoos too. You can also enter our raffle to win 2 free weeks of unlimited classes at our school! For me personally, I love the chance to share Taekwondo with new people who may never have seen or experienced it before. It’s something I am truly passionate about. I’m also proud of any opportunity to show off our awesome students. The event is always packed full of people, and the food is excellent. It’s a great community atmosphere that we are so happy to be a part of. And if you hang out with us until it gets dark on the 4th, you will be in prime real estate for catching the City of Eagan fireworks show, so you can’t lose.

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Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Today I was talking to a parent who had done Taekwondo with us for a little while about a year ago. He was telling me that he really enjoyed it, but that it was hard since he was so out of shape at the time. He said he might want to start again, but was worried he wasn’t fit enough for the class. His wife reminded us both about a time 6 months ago when he had tried to start again, but was so sore the next day that he didn’t come back.

At this point I was reminded of what one of my many instructors had told me years ago regarding conditioning training in the martial arts. ("Conditioning training" is commonly referred to as iron body or iron fist training.) When I first began to learn this, I remember seeing the advanced black belts striking wooden boards that were mounted on columns or posted in the ground. They were hitting the things (I later found out that they were called “makiwara boards” in Japanese or “kong do” in Korean) so hard that it made a loud cracking sound with every hit. The students were completely focused and expressionless. So of course you can imagine my disappointment when my teacher had me slapping water out of a 55 gallon barrel drum in the back of the dojang.  After a few months of this I’d had enough and decided to ask my master when I would be able to do what the other more advanced students were doing. He looked at me and smiled, and said this way is better.

He then went on to explain that, in Asia, when they do this kind of training, it’s common to start right away with punching trees from the very beginning. However, most people quit after only a few days or weeks. He said it was always the same: the tough guy student would come in and hit the tree or board as hard as he could, as many times as it took for his hand to swell up like a balloon and turn black-and-blue. Then they wouldn’t see him again, or he’d come back in 4 or 5 months when his hands didn’t hurt anymore, do it again and disappear again.

He explained that those students were much worse off because their hands were always every bit as soft as when they started. But all that damage they would do gave them lots of other problems. So his solution was to start slowly and softly, and gradually increase the hardness of the striking material. Now in terms of hitting things, this may seem obvious; but I would say the same approach is just as good when you are talking about getting back into shape. As for the parent, I told him to come back to training, but to make a commitment to not go full force on his first day back. Instead, start slow and soft, and every day we would increase slowly.

I have always found that the best thing to do when you are sore is to get back in there, move around and train. This was the same for hitting the makiwara. One day I came in and was very sore from hitting the water, and I told my Instructor that I thought I shouldn’t do it that day because of how sore I was. He of course told me that I would feel better and less sore if I got out there and did it again. He was right!

So I also explained that to our esteemed parent; just as I had, he looked confused and I could see he had his doubts. But luckily for him I am not nearly as mysterious as the masters of old. I explained that when you’re sore, moving the muscles will increase blood flow and oxygenation in those areas, which will in turn speed up recovery and prevent lactic acid build-up.

As always, I found this conversation a good reminder for my own training. Because who doesn’t want to start doing things just like when we were kids and in great shape? But again, slow and steady progress is the best kind of progress as it gets the best results. When you are sore, get up and keep training -- your body will thank you. Lastly this reminded me again about one of the things I love best about teaching: everything I talk about in class becomes an immediate inspiration for me to lead by example in my own life.

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GUEST BLOG, written by Ms. Jen:

Pictured above is a flyer we are handing out, with an offer of two weeks of free classes at our school. I wanted to give a little bit of backstory about why we created this flyer in particular…

Some of you know me as one of the black belts at Ambition Taekwondo; some of you have been in classes taught by me. But you may not know the reason I am a black belt. Or the reason I am in Taekwondo at all. That reason is the two little girls in the picture above.

The girl on the right is Sunny. She was my first child. When I adopted her at age 4.5, she was tiny. 28 pounds and wearing 18-month clothing. I didn’t know this before I adopted her, but she also had cerebral palsy. I was afraid for her: of the kids in school who might tease her, bullies that might try to push her around, and boys (boyfriends or strangers) that might someday try to take advantage of her.

I put Sunny and her sister Maisy, and later my other two kids, in Taekwondo classes because I knew they would be vulnerable targets for people who might want to harm them. The statistics are scary. As this image says, “Nearly 1 in 5 American women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime.” I have 3 girls, and I don’t like those odds.

What my kids have learned from Taekwondo goes far beyond technique and curriculum. Though they are small for their age, they are physically strong. Much more so than their peers. But more than that, they are confident in their abilities. They will tell you themselves that they are strong. They know it. They are determined. They have learned through their experiences here that anything worth doing is worth working for. Even when they struggle with something, they believe that it is possible with hard work.

I think about Sunny, working on her double roundhouse break for her brown belt test. Her cerebral palsy meant that her standing leg was weak, and it was difficult for her to do the first break, maintain her balance, then generate enough power to break the second board with the same leg. She worked on it for months. For me, it was heartbreaking to watch because she just wanted to do it so badly. I wanted to fix it for her, or let her off the hook. But she did not give up. She really believed -- because that’s what she has been told here all along -- that she could do it if she kept working. And when she finally did, damn, it was beautiful.

Those moments are the reason I have them in Taekwondo. No one is ever going to make those girls do anything they don’t want to do. Because not only are they physically strong and trained in self-defense, but because they value themselves.

As for me, I started Taekwondo because I was at the school every day with the girls, watching class, and I just kind of wondered how hard it was. I never meant to stay past maybe yellow or green belt. But that was more than five years ago.

It was not natural to me. In a family of athletes, I was the small, nerdy one. 5’3”, 115 pounds; read lots and lots of books but never played a single sport. (At least not willingly.) Growing up, I was good at a lot of things – school, art, music – none of them of any use at all when it came to breaking a brick or doing a backspin. It was shocking to me how hard it was, since I was used to things coming easily. There were many, and I mean MANY, times that I wanted to quit. Intended to quit. Times spent sitting on the mat crying at 11pm.  But the reason I never did ultimately came down to the two little girls in that photo.

How could I ask my daughters to do something I could not do myself? How could I give them something I didn’t have? And if I was asking them to believe in themselves enough to work on something that seemed impossible, I should be able to do the same. That is why I have my black belt now. That is why I want to be a part of the school. Because of what it has done for my kids, and for me.

A year or so ago, Sunny was working on her hammerfist break, down on cinder blocks. On the first strike, she cheese-grated her knuckles along the side of the block. Didn’t say a word, and hit it several more times until she could reliably break it every time. Then came to be with her bloody hand, and told me, “It not matter if your hand hurt, just if the board break. You have to be tough! I am a Taekwondo girl!” And that attitude is what I wish all girls (and women) could have.