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Nullipara 2024 Acrylic on paper

Like the dust of the Moon, this soil will never support the growth of life; only this way can my lifeless soul make a home in it.

At last, I got around to this painting that I have wanted to paint for months. It's about how I view my own body, and the importance that not giving life holds to me. The rash on my chest - actually tiny injuries - is not symbolically important to the meaning of the picture, it's just simply there in reality, so I painted it there.

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Forbidden pleasures 2022 Watercolour on paper

I know it's not perfect, I can see every mistake in it, and I don't like how much of the colours were lost in scanning. But it still makes me want to eat every cake (even though I can't just as much as the little vampire can't, since it's just a picture); so it still gets posted.

I've already talked myself into giving every vampire picture the death mysticism tag, since vampires are inherently death-related, but I feel like this might be the most harmless vampire picture ever.

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Spring formal dress (originally: Tavaszi ünneplő) 2024 Ink on paper

A branch of forsythia.

It's a mental image I have had for a long time, ever since I was little, someone wearing a dress that's made of live flowers - not cut flowers, but plants who are alive even then and will continue to live indefinitely, they are just also being clothes while they do that.

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Hear us out (originally: Hallgass meg minket) 2023 Acrylic on paper

This is in part based on a dream that I had. (Not that I ever need any special prompting to think about the undead or necromancers.)

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The shores of Bubble Country (originally: Buborékország partjai) 2024 Watercolour, glue, wax paper and lace on paper

So this is not something I usually do, but this time I was so inspired I absolutely had to. This is how it happened:

Recently I have been using some lozenges to soothe my throat, and they come individually wrapped in wax paper that comes in different colours according to the herbs used in the lozenges (and consequently their flavour). Now as I looked at these wrapping papers, I couldn't help the thought that arose in my mind: the texture and the colour gradient looks like I should cut hydrangea petals from them, and then I should glue them to a watercolour painting. The thought wouldn't go away, and in the end I had to do it, thinking that even if nobody else likes it, it's what I want and that's reason enough. I collected my wrappers as I used the lozenges, and at last here is my wax paper hydrangea picture, the most shoujo thing I have ever done.

I did sign it, but it's under the lace and a bit hard to see now.

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Circles within circles - After I ate the salad (originally: Egymásba írt körök - Miután megettem a salátát) 2024 Ink on paper

So I realise this looks really abstract, but I drew it from life and it came out quite realistic actually. It's the picture of the inside of a hand-thrown porcelain salad bowl, in which the remaining balsamic vinegar and oil has settled into the grooves left by the potter's fingers. I liked it so much that I sat there at the lunch table and drew it.

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Jojo 2022 Ink on paper

Just a simple drawing this time. Probably my favourite character from that game, and not just because he's useful to meet.

I know what that game is intended for, but for me, it's about making myself a new, inhuman body. I spent quite a bit of time writing out plans for what body parts I want to have, how to achieve it, and in which order the modifications need to be made so they don't invalidate each other. Other than that, I still always fought the demons and saved the world though. They should have left me alone if they didn't want to be defeated.

Which is why I haven't played much CoC2: I tried at the beginning, but since I could already start as an elf, and that was very acceptable to me, there was no reason to build myself a new body.

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Study of an orange bough (originally: Narancságtanulmány) 2023 Digital

This is in preparation for that bigger painting I mentioned previously, both because the painting is going to incorporate an orange tree seen from up close and because it's been a while since I have worked digitally. Even though it's so small, I had to rest a lot while doing it, and I can only hope my hand is going to be fine as I do the larger picture.

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Moon and applemint (originally: Hold és almamenta) 2023 Watercolour on paper

The first painting of the year. It just had to be the Moon somehow.

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View from the castle (originally: Kilátás a várból) 2022 Acrylic on paper

This one is based on a screenshot by the excellent @waterside-wanderer, who was kind enough to give me permission to paint an interpretation of it. This was the screenshot.

It was the last painting of the year (if we count the time I actually completed it, not the time I started; I was already working on it when I interrupted myself for a very quick painting I had to get out of my system so it wouldn't distract me from this one). I realise it's not perfect, but as long as I'm improving, I shan't despair.

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Moonlight flower (originally: Holdfényvirág) 2024 Acrylic on paper

There's darkness in me, filling me: with every word I speak and every move I make, it spills out everywhere, impossible to keep secret. And moonlight opens in my heart like a flower.

(It's a nightshade flower, but not because of the name; it's not called that in Hungarian, of course. It just seemed the correct shape for the composition, and also appropriate in other ways. Of course it's not meant to be realistically coloured.)

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Flush of fever (originally: Lázpír) 2024 Ink on paper

I apologise for the quality of the scan. I need to stop using this paper even with ink; if it can't be trusted with ink, it can't be trusted with much of anything.

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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

The scent of flowers at night.

Taking a walk in falling snow, knowing most of my footsteps will have been covered over by the time I return home.

Doing artistic things (drawing, writing stories) together with a friend. (Also art in general, but if you are looking at this blog, that is most likely obvious, and I'm trying to be specific.)

Finding a poem or song that finally expresses something I myself haven't the words to say.

At last coming to understand/find out something that has perhaps confused or eluded me for a long time.

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I have been summoned to go on a language tangent!

Explanation: "Kinek a pap, kinek a papné" - a common idiom, meaning that tastes and values differ, and more literally meaning "some [prefer] the priest, some [prefer] the priest's wife"; "kinek a pap, kinek a paplan" is a joking version of that, "some prefer the priest, some prefer the quilted blanket"; "paplan" - quilted blanket - has nothing to do with "pap", priest, it just sounds funny.

Told my friend about objectum (the sexuality) and without missing a beat she replied hát...kinek a pap, kinek a paplan

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Crossroad statue 2022 Ink and watercolour on paper

I wish I could make this display smaller by default, because it's going all the way out of the screen due to how tall and narrow it is. It displays even worse than that drawing of Andrei earlier. Well, I'm not going to upload unrelated tall and narrow pictures together just to make them a horizontal group and make all of them display within the screen, so I don't know what else to do.

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A million stars, a million graves (originally: Egymillió csillag, egymillió sír) 2024 Ink on paper

I drew this for comfort; I find it comforting to draw really-really detailed pen-and-ink drawings.

I know someone who told me once that they thought for a long time that everyone does actually see rays around distant lights; only later in life did they figure out that's not normal and they have astigmatism. So if you think stars do in fact look like that, maybe it's important that I mention that that's not how everyone's eyes work.

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The realisation (originally: A felismerés) 2022 Watercolour on paper

I don't quite know how to tag this. I finished this just now. It was an emotional piece for me.

I was actually working on another painting, a landscape I'm sure you'll see soon, when this - a painting I had already been planning in some form - jumped into my mind so much I had to stop and quickly do this instead.