myalterhumanlife

[myalterhumanlife]

questioning if i'm trans/demiboy :crys:

i've always called myself a demi girl, but i've been questioning if i'm trans/demiboy. i've ALWAYS liked the use of pronouns he/they or he/him, even as a demigirl. when people called me by those pronouns, i didn't correct them, so i decided to go by any pronouns. but the idea of being a boy completely doesn't feel quite right to me, maybe it's because i'm scared of being judged? scared of change? i've been scared of completely calling myself bi-pan, but i became used to it later on. idk if this will happen, too. sometimes, i couldn't care less if they call me she/her. sometimes, it feels.. wrong or gross. i can't really describe it. 90% of the times i refer to myself as he/him, and sometimes they/them, but never she/her. i've questioned to be trans before, but my mom always made me be "feminine" and "girly", since all my siblings are brothers, and me being female made them happy. even if i am, i'm not coming out, for sure. i already know their reaction to me being a therian, imagine for me being lgbtq.

[myalterhumanlife]

I think I might have a second theriotype..

Yesterday, I started thinking about the stuff I have. Like, I have ginger cat socks, I have a ginger cat notebook, I LOVE Warrior Cats, and that I've had a couple of shifts where it wasn't from my main theriotype (cheetah). That got me into thinking "am I a cat therian?" when, "click!" I just felt like I've found out my second theriotype. That click was exactly like the click I got from my first theriotype, and I started thinking a bit and it started to make sense. I feel connected to forests, even tho I know my (cheetah) theriotype habitat is a savannah. I had a phantom tail, ears and fur shift that day. I wanted to note it in my journal, but I couldn't find it, and I felt like I would forget it if I didn't note it. (I have ADHD, and I forgot I was a therian for some amount of time before I remembered it). So, right now is the second day and I haven't forgotten it. I decided to note it in this blog, which I will be telling the daily things on my alterhuman life. I don't really want to assume that I have a second theriotype right away, because I've done that one too many times, and it ended up just being one. I've gotten used to being a monotherian, and only having one theriotype was the usual thing. I feel like I need "balance" between the two, if I focus too much on the cat theriotype, I'll forget the cheetah theriotype, and vice-versa. I've never had that problem, so I don't currently have a soluction to it. I also believe in past lives, so I believe that I was a cheetah, and my soul got into this human body that I currently have. But, if I have two theriotypes, does that mean that they two died on the same time? Do I have two souls on my body? When I die, will I be a cheetah or a cat? I'm too confused. I've been looking into psychological therians more, and I also don't really know if I'm one. What if I identify spiritually as a cheetah, but psychologically as a cat? ... Also, if that's true and I DO have two theriotypes, would that make me a polytherian? I'm scared of new things. Even tho I know that it's right, I'm afraid of changing. Can any of y'all help me?