mystopience-system - Tumblr blog

[mystopience-system]

and for extra fun, mention your country and reasons why / why not in reblogs / replies / tags / however you want!

-myriad (xe/it/he/star/prin)

[mystopience-system]

being sick means staying at home which means szpd goes "!!! i don't have to be around people! my god it's a blessing people in real life scare me" but it also means npd goes "*sobbing* i'm just so fucking love starved please god i need attention"

in other words im going back to college tomorrow and yknow. actually not that excited about it HBFGHBGF but like oh well yaknow....

[mystopience-system]

Neither romantic nor sexual nor platonic but a secret fourth thing (bonded like stray cats who cannot be adopted separately)

[mystopience-system]

<33333

Neither romantic nor sexual nor platonic but a secret fourth thing (bonded like stray cats who cannot be adopted separately)

[mystopience-system]

@https-v3n0mb1t3s us??

Neither romantic nor sexual nor platonic but a secret fourth thing (bonded like stray cats who cannot be adopted separately)

[mystopience-system]

made a genshin self insert because why not <33

a liyuean scholar from mondstadt, who can recall almost any knowledge that can be read in books from all over tevyat!

since xe's me, xe still goes by myriad and xyr pronouns are xe/it/he/prin :]

i have some lore and attack ideas which i shall ramble about if anyone is interested ":3

[mystopience-system]

"do you.... ever get tired of it?" 

nia's mumble was barely audible. araya let her eyes glide across the floor to where they landed on nia's cane: where their hands gripped the handle so tightly, araya thought their bones might burst through their skin. the bend of their wrists increased and decreased at marginal angles as nia rocked back and forth gently.

araya shuffled about on the bench momentarily, and passed her own cane to her left hand and out of her range of sight, toying with the feeling of the cane through her gloves, before responding,

"no. that would mean i made the wrong choice when i started." 

she looked down. out of the corner of her eye, she saw nia's head turn towards them in shy curiosity.

"i didn't." 

"i don't... i don't mean that." nia fumbled unhappily, sending the handle of their cane bouncing between their two hands. "not... being a leader.. i mean.." 

araya released a soft sigh of breath, and watched it drift into the sky in a white haze.

nia shakes their head, somewhat scared of the situation, opening and closing their mouth a few times as their brain tried to formulate feelings into a sentence.

"i mean, that it's.... it's difficult, right?" they look at araya.

araya nods. she notices that she's gripping onto the end of her jacket like a vice, but refuses to let go.

"it is," araya concedes. "but 'tiring' and 'difficult' are different, right?"

nia nods unsurely. "but they're connected, to me. i think."

araya processes what nia's just said in her head. at times like this, she's almost sure she can feel everyone in the vicinity seeing the cogs turn in her head - fortunately, today, it's only nia.

"i think i understand," she says eventually. 

there's a slight pause.

then, she shakes her head.

"not for me," she admits. "there's something to it, that's difficult, but not tiring. not in the conventional sense you speak of, right?"

nia looks at her.

"you mean tired as... becoming agitated, doing the same thing. tired of expectations."

nia nods.

"while i'm sure this is a factor for you too... the only tired i experience is chronically ill tired." 

nia smiles shyly, but unsurely. "i'm sure if you didn't have any of that, you wouldn't let anything get in your way." 

"probably not," araya agrees. "but then i wouldn't be myself, would i?"

nia shakes their head, and lets a semblance of a giggle slip out into the night air. "no. i guess not." 

Dialogue Prompts: “Tired…”

1. “You ever get tired of it?”

“That would mean I made the wrong choice when I started. I didn’t.”

2. “I’m tired of you, but in a polite way.”

“That’s really not polite in any way.”

“Look, if I could think of a better way to put it, I wouldn’t need to say it to begin with.”

3. “When’s the last time you slept?”

“Last night. I no longer believe rest and sleep are synonymous.”

[mystopience-system]

i have perhapss just a sneaking suspicion that,,,, no one has played minecraft in a long time!! however i'm going to play it.... not quite sure what there is to do on minecraft nowadays!! but it can't be too much of a bother :]]

-fate / clover (he/him)

[mystopience-system]

we do!! we have uhh NPD, SZPD and DID (with maybe a dash of anxiety + maybe schizophrenia, if not then simply stress induced psychosis)

we rely heavily on what we're like as alters, our pronouns, our gender, our species and our attraction for the stable sense of self and other than that it's... well it's basically nothing

(exception of when we have strong IRLs ongoing which also contributes)

i'm used to being in the body as the host who almost never switches out but it's just like the body to me... and just like you i take the rest of my identity from what people call me (which is generally boiled down to "smart" nowadays). the body just happens to be where we reside and that's all it is to me. as long as im comfortable and my reputation is fine then i don't care

i hope this is comforting to you somewhat!!

-myriad (xe/it/he/prin)

ok i’m just wondering does anybody else with npd (or someone that suspects they have npd) experience derealization and/or depersonalization on a constant basis??

like, i feel permanently detached from my body and everything about my identity is based off of what people tell me (with the exception of my gender and sexuality — on those bases, i have no gender and i feel no attraction). i feel like some entity that’s just controlling the body (which, to some extent, is true. i myself am merely the nervous system that is controlling the rest of the body)

idk if this is something from my npd or if this is something contributing to my npd or a weird result of early childhood trauma or just something different altogether

for clarification, i’ve experienced depersonalization since i was 12-13 (and possibly before — that was just the age that i became aware of it) and since then it hasn’t necessarily gotten worse, just more substantial (??). as in, it’s definitely evolved to be a more consistent thing, but it’s not destroying my life or anything. it’s just how it is. i don’t the find the experience scary and instead find myself comforted in my separation from the physical body. i do think it’s somewhat concerning, as this obviously isn’t a normal experience or mindset — at least, not in a constant and consistent setting

[mystopience-system]

this took me an hour (well spent)

original post by @metallicat5678

[mystopience-system]

siege of the red velvet keep

[mystopience-system]

happy mermay

[mystopience-system]

i have to admit i have some sort of reverence for our ghostbur.

he’s brought me, germano and ruby-rose food a few times, as far as i recall. on occasion it looks homemade, which brings me to wonder if he (or a member of his family) made it himself. 

it certainly makes things more- shall i say- like a picnic? once, me, germano, and ruby-rose were on the castle roof (it is a favourite place of ours) and ghostbur’s bread was still warm. i believe it was filled with fruit and raisins, and the likes. it certainly made that evening nicer.

-russo

[mystopience-system]

myriad’s xenogender feely of the day p8.

today’s gender is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG when you drag out words in text just for comedic effect. light hearted. math-like. nice math tho, like, comprehensible math hjfghjfg

as you can tell my friend was helping me with math hw and i understand it now and they’re the best <3 /p -myriad

[mystopience-system]

myriad’s xenogender feely of the day p7.

one week’s worth of genders pog?

uh today’s gender is.. stale. sort of. probably mouldy, like mouldy bread. sour in a very bad way. very desaturated green and blue n stuff like that. rlly not nice. 

not vibing with this gender -myriad

[mystopience-system]

myriad’s xenogender feely of the day p6.

you can tell my memory is bad when i think i’ve forgotten to do this two days in a row when it’s actually been FOUR DAYS-

today’s gender is. well i just had coke so it’s really like that JHFGJHFG very dark blue, bubbly and fizzy, tastes like coke too, kind of like the gender is in the middle of my heart? a little bit of a tired gender. tis gud 

-myriad

[mystopience-system]

myriad’s xenogender feely of the day p5.

forgot yesterday’s again ack

uhh today’s gender is.. little and lithe. soft light pink, soft yellow, soft warm light brown. sort of quiet. little yellow fluffy ducks. sort of reddish too. difficult to look at and confusing.