myverisimilitudecomplex

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

Now I'm hardly copin, I don't know how much more I can take

'Cause my whole personality's fake

And I want someone else in my place

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

The flower gifting service discovered that 88% of men have never received flowers and sadly, the first time many receive them is at their own funerals.

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

🎵 Got so much weight that you've been holdin'

But won't show any emotion, as a man, that goes unspoken

That we can't cry when life gets hard

Unconditional love for women, children and dogs

We know that we just have to play our parts

And don't nobody give a damn about our broken hearts 🎵

“To be a Man” by Dax

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

“To me,

I don’t feel like I’m an integral part

Of others’ lives,

…if someone else- if their life was like a book;

I’m like, chapter 7…

I’m like a placeholder- I feel like a placeholder I’m everyone’s life.

…I’m not a main character, you know?

And when I say this to my friends, they’re like,

“Oh, you know, if anything ever-“

No, no- like if I died, I get that you’d be sad…

That’s not what I’m saying,

I’m saying I’m not an integral part of your life, in terms of making- making the fuckin’ thing go ‘round.

-Tyler Neely, from TikTok

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

Not to get emotional on main- but goals. Like this is all I want, all most guys want (at least the ones I know).

🎵”in blood and sweat and tears I trust, life will be what we construct- true..” “that’s my best friend, that’s my gang, gang, gang…I’m like ‘babe I hate them’ she’s like ‘same, same, same” 🎶

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

“I’m not saying that everything is survivable. Just that everything except the last thing is.”

— John Green

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

“All life is just a progression towards, and then a recession from, one phrase: ‘I love you.’”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald; The Offshore Pirate

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

“I have to say that although it broke my heart, I was, and still am, glad I was there.”

— Markus Zusak; The Book Thief

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

“I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.”

— Franz Kafka; The Metamorphosis

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

“I lost myself when I lost you.”

— Lana Del Rey; Terrence Loves You

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

- Beau Taplin

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

A friend, a lover, a partner- a whatever I need

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep going without a friend. I used to be able to do it very easily, but that was before I knew what having a friend was like. It’s much easier not to know things sometimes.”

— Stephen Chbosky; The Perks of Being a Wallflower

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

Well, pour yourself a glass

We'll reminisce about the times we had

'Cause in the morning I'll be dead and gone for good

'Cause this ship is sinking, pass the whiskey

Give me my last cigarette

Tell my father it was worth it

Oh, my friends, this is the end, this is the end

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

What cruel irony to fear and hide from being truly seen one’s whole life, then to grow and change and improve, and to desire nothing more deeply than to be seen and accepted

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

At the risk of sounding too simp, a near comprehensive list of things that would fix my mental state:

Crisp, cool, clean sheets,

Dark room,

Fan on low,

No alarm to set,

Someone to hold to be held by,

Someone to look into my shadowed eyes, to hear someone who knows me deeply say, “I’m proud of you”, “your hard work makes me feel loved”, “your sacrifice is enough, your effort if sufficient, good job”

To let the walls down, to admit weakness and exhaustion, and to rest my head on the chest of someone who sees me completely and doesn’t retreat.

[myverisimilitudecomplex]

Are the thoughts intrusive if they feel as organic as all the other thoughts? They might be objectively counterproductive or at odds with most other thoughts, but I don’t know- intrusive seems like the wrong label. They don’t come from outside, or from no where- at least not for me. #ShadowThoughts perhaps