myzo-calledlife

[myzo-calledlife]

It’s Me Again

Is my entire blog just going to be pieces where I wax poetic about not being able to regularly update a blog? I’m having an issue here because I seriously feel like I have nothing to write about which is causing me to just, not write anything. Which is not a solution but I just have this fucking ridiculous writers’ block and I’m getting to the point where I feel like everything I write is going to be uninteresting crap so I’m just not writing anything which feeds the stupid feedback loop of nothingness. Wow that was a cute run on sentence.

Anyway, here I am! Another 4 months removed from my last blog post with nothing to show for it. I wish I just had endless inspiration to write and write and write because that’s what I WANT to do. I want to write pages and pages and actually feel like I have something interesting to say. But I guess that isn’t necessarily in the cards for me right now, so instead I’m just going to write about nothing and tell myself that I don’t care if anyone ever reads it.

I don’t even want to post this because I feel like it’s so ridiculously pointless but you know what? I’m going to. I’m going to because I want to hold myself accountable and put some content on this dumb blog even if it’s just a four-paragraph post about how I lack any and all motivation to write ANYTHING.

I saw a tweet yesterday about how important it is to create art, even if (and especially if) you consider it to be bad art. Well I don’t think this post qualifies as art at all, but it’s definitely bad and I created it god damn it so I’m putting it out there because it is my RIGHT to create, even if it sucks. Maybe if I’m lucky one of these days it’ll stop sucking.

That’s all for now.

[myzo-calledlife]

Spring has Sprung

Can you believe it’s already spring?! I sure as heck cannot. But I’ve been sneezing just about every 3 seconds so I guess those flowers must be blooming! The time is absolutely flying- before I know it I’ll have been at this job a year. I’m laughing now at my past self who insisted she was only going to stay here for one year. A year goes by in a freakin minute and yet at the same time so much happens and changes.

It’s almost been a year since graduation and I feel like I’ve changed SO MUCH in that short period of time. And not just in terms of my maturity and independence. I’ve also become a lot better at taking care of myself both mentally and physically. I eat better, I (try to) work out (occasionally), I take stock in my mental state and actively work to change things if I’m not doing well.

I think that in the past year I’ve finally had the time to do these things. To start focusing on myself and what’s important to me. And this spring I want to keep working on that, on doing small things to better myself and my well being.

I want to read more, I want to spend less time on my phone, I want to take better care of my hair and my skin...the list goes on and on, but what it really boils down to is being in tune with myself and my needs and making it a priority to fulfill those needs.

So here’s to spring, to new beginnings, to flaring allergies, and to taking the time to be kind to ourselves and take care of ourselves.

Until Next Time,

Z

[myzo-calledlife]

Corporate Ghosting

As someone who needs near constant attention and validation (stinkin' millennials am I right) there are few things that frustrate me more than being ignored. As I have continued my fruitless job search this has been one of the aspects that has been the most upsetting to me–I have sent out hundreds (literally, hundreds) of applications and emails and cover letters that I have poured my heart and soul into only to be met with radio silence.

In my most recent episode of what I have come to call “Corporate Ghosting” I was in contact with someone from my literal dream company about an upcoming internship when she just out of the blue stopped responding to my emails. I was legitimately ghosted by a corporate entity. I didn’t even know that was something that happened. But it did. And it was painful.

But instead of spending this entire post ranting about my lack of acknowledgement from corporate America (maybe I’ll do that another day we’ll see if I FEEL LIKE IT). I’m going to share some things you can do to take a break when the thought of writing one more cover letter that will almost certainly not be read makes you want to gouge your eyes out.

ALSO guess what my blog my rules so this list is going to be formatted in a super strange stream of consciousness so BUCKLE UP or GET OFF THE RIDE NOW this is your only warning.

THINGS TO DO WHEN ALL OF YOUR EMAILS ARE BEING IGNORED BY CORPORATE AMERICA/YOU HAVE BEEN CORPORATE GHOSTED

Pet your dog (or, in my case, a stranger's dog since my parents care not for my mental well being and never got me a dog)

Take your dog (or a stranger's dog) for a walk

Make sure to ask first if you take a stranger's dog you don’t want to get arrested for dog theft I am not encouraging that

Or MAYBE I AM OK MY BLOG MY RULES

Try out a new recipe

I’ve been making all kinds of crazy stir fries lately maybe I’ll make a post with some recipes if I feel like it

Also I have a bomb ass açai bowl recipe because I am a #healthy human who eats fruit for enjoyment

Protip guys buy some 21 Seasoning Salute from the Lord’s grocery store, Trader Joe’s, and seriously just shake that shit into everything you make and you will feel like  a MICHELIN STAR CHEF who knows how to SEASON things and appreciates flavor COMPLEXITY

Go to the gym

Ok I know what you’re thinking “ZOE how DARE you I TRUSTED you to not perpetuate this bullshit” but SERIOUSLY I promise if you pump up some killer “I’m a bad bitch” jams and just go HAM on the elliptical for like a half hour you will seriously feel like you can do anything

Here’s my personal “I’m a Bad Bitch” playlist if you need some inspo

If you really want to feel fancy pick up some weights and do some work on your MUSCLES man get some DEFINITION you will feel like a fitness QUEEN

Watch “The Great British Baking Show”

This show is SO PURE and SO feel good. What's not to love it’s like every show I love on Food Network but what more wholesome. Everyone is competing but also supports each other it’s really just beautiful AND it takes place in the English countryside so there are some #beautiful #landscapes

Also they all have really cute British accents and I love them all

Listen to a Podcast

Seriously there is a podcast for everything and I mean EVERYTHING. I’m probably not the best person to recommend podcasts because I listen pretty exclusively to hockey podcasts BUT seriously go explore the Podcast app on your phone (bet you didn’t know that was there) and you'll almost certainly find something that interests you.

I said I wasn’t gonna give recs but here are a few to get you started because I am a woman of the people: Revisionist History (if lesser known historical events are your jam), Anna Faris Is Unqualified (if you want to laugh your ass off and also feel like Anna Faris is your best friend), and if you’ve seriously been living under a podcast rock, Serial is never a bad place to start.

Also if you want any hockey podcast recs hit me up because that could be a whole separate post

Call your grandpa

This one might be exclusive to me because my grandfather is one of my favorite people on earth, but you can replace that with anyone who always makes you feel better when you talk to them.

Do not underestimate the power of a pick me up from someone who thinks you hung the moon even if you feel like a colossal failure who can’t manage to get a single person to email you back.

Stalk the New and Interesting Finds tab on Amazon

Now chances are you aren’t as passionate as Amazon as I am (few people are as passionate about Amazon as I am) but there is no distraction quite like scrolling through endless pages of whimsical kitchen appliances and mildly creepy animal themed gadgets.

Turn your electronics off for a day

Listen I know all of this “unplugging” mumbo jumbo is annoying and I will KEEP my iPhone glued to my hand if I WANT TO mom but seriously there is something to be said for just letting yourself disconnect for a hot sec. It’s hard to realize it sometimes because it’s so normal for us but being connected all the time is exhausting and not healthy. Take a break, even if it’s just for a few hours.

Watch all of the Harry Potter movies

I HOPE YOU HAVE 20 HOURS just kidding you don’t actually have to watch all of them

I’m really only adding this because I’m currently watching a Harry Potter marathon on Freeform (and seriously when is there NOT a Harry Potter marathon on Freeform these days?)

The early films are really just the best ok God Bless Chris Columbus Sorcerer’s Stone is a beautiful nostalgia inducing GIFT

(also skip HBP because everyone knows that film is a pile of shit)

So there you have it folks, my suggestions for what to do if you can’t bear to send another job application lest you combust into flames. Listen, being ignored is the absolute worst but my mentality is if you send enough out into the void, eventually the void will send something back to you; so here’s to hopefully getting something back one of these days and to staying as sane as we possibly can in the meantime!

Until Next Time,

Zoe

[myzo-calledlife]

Figuring it out

If I ever reach the point where I’m important enough that people would want to read a book I about my life, the first chapter is going be titled “In Which I Realize That Post Grad Life Is Nothing Like What I Expected it To Be.” OK, maybe not, it’s a working title. A friend of mine (who, might I add, is already stupidly successful by “just out of college” standards, fucking computer science majors man) once told me that the year after graduation would be the hardest of my life thus far. I didn’t believe her at the time, but I’m starting to seriously think she was right, and I’ve only been out of college for three months. 

In my teenage naivety, I truly thought that by this point I would at least have some crappy entry level job in NYC and be living in a piece of shit apartment, cursing the heat of the New York summer. I expected that kind of a challenge; prepared myself for it even. The challenge I did not expect or prepare for was living in my parents’ basement (literally), losing 20 pounds, quitting social media as part of a bizarre quest for self improvement (which, so far, has only led to me beating over 200 levels on Candy Crush, reading a 5 part BDSM erotica series, and apparently developing an ambition to one day write a book) and more so than anything else, feeling almost completely useless. 

But the absolute most challenging part, dear imaginary readers, is the fact that right now, in this moment, I’m becoming genuinely worried that my entire life might end up this way. That I might never find a job or love or meaning and live in my parents’ basement forever. (Ok, maybe not literally, but hopefully you get where that train of thought was going). 

So if you’re feeling a little (or very) lost, this blog is for you. If you have no ldea what you want to do, or know exactly what you want to do but have no idea how to go about doing it, this blog is for you. And if you enjoy tangential writing,  the occasional hockey metaphor, self deprecating humor, and flashes of introspective inspiration, then this blog is definitely for you. I probably don’t have any of the answers that you’re looking for, but maybe we can find some of them together. I can’t promise it will be fun or easy, but I can promise it will definitely be interesting. 

Until Next Time, 

Zoe 

[myzo-calledlife]

I am...

1. Almost always the loudest person in the room 

2. Passionate about too many things to name 

3. Someone who does nothing by halves. I am all in or not in at all

4. Loyal to a fault 

5. Insecure about things that I cannot change 

6. Deeply defined by the impressions that the ones I love have made on me and continue to make on me 

7. Driven by my emotions

8. Unafraid to show those emotions, even when they’re ugly 

9. More capable than I often give myself credit for 

10. A firm believer that it’s not about what you do, but who you do it with 

11. Constantly thirsting to know more, to understand more, to obtain more knowledge in any way that I can 

12. Worried about disappointing the people that I love 

13. Not as self assured as I often appear to be 

14. A lover in every sense of the word

15. Truly terrified by the idea of confrontation 

[myzo-calledlife]

On the Value of an Arts Education

If you’ve been on Twitter or Facebook in the past few days or if you’re a member of the arts community in any sphere, you might have seen a recent Wells Fargo ad that’s been floating around the internet that essentially slams the value of pursuing the arts as a legitimate career path.

If you haven’t yet seen the ad, here it is:

Here’s the thing, I get what they’re going for (kind of). I understand the idea that they’re trying to encourage and celebrate growth and education among young minds and they want to make the point that they support that. But why does this message have to come at the expense of the arts? Why, in order to talk about building up the young minds that will make up the future, do we have to tear down the arts organizations that can and will play such a vital part in this process?

Teens are incredibly impressionable. Many of them who want to pursue careers in the arts are already being told how unrealistic their dreams are. They are encouraged to have a backup plan for when their aspirations inevitably fail. Despite all of this there are still passionate kids out there who are determined to make a career out of what they love, even if the odds are stacked against them.

But imagine being a young aspiring actor or dancer seeing these advertisements. Imagine essentially being told “Yes, what you love is fine, but it isn’t realistic! You need to grow up and become a scientist or an engineer! That’s what real people do!” How long will it take before these young malleable minds begin to accept this as the truth? How much criticism and questioning can they take before they begin to agree that an arts education is essentially useless? And how long before it is widely accepted that this is not the case?

Countless studies and articles have been released that emphasize the value of an arts education, detailing reasons like increased academic achievement, social and emotional development, civic engagement, and equitable opportunity. In my own studies I have acquired so many skills from my arts courses that I could never gain in any other setting. Skills like the ability to articulate my thoughts and defend my opinions, a love and ease for public speaking, and levels of confidence that I never had before I discovered I had a knack for performing. None of these skills would have been cultivated were it not for the people in my life who encouraged and celebrated my love for the arts.

Any way you slice it, arts educations are immensely valuable. So why the need to tear down an already fragile career path choice that already requires so much defense by those who choose to pursue it? If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me with a note of condescension in their voice, “What are you going to do with a liberal arts degree?” I could likely support myself through the inevitable unemployment they seem convinced that I am doomed for.

The crux of this issue goes so far beyond a simple advertisement. It speaks to a much larger societal issue that involves the devaluing of the arts in favor of other, more “practical” areas of study. The arts are seen increasingly as a luxury, not as a necessity, and as these ideas are consistently promoted by those making the budgets, the only ones who suffer are the same young minds that Wells Fargo is attempting to celebrate with their advertisement.

I’m all for encouraging the diversity of the interests of young people, but celebrating diversity isn’t about tearing one person’s interests down in order to build someone else’s up. It’s about embracing the diversity and recognizing the immense value of having young people who are passionate enough to chase their dreams, regardless of what they may be. It's about telling the kid who dreams of being on Broadway that her aspirations are just as valid as her friend who wants to be a chemical engineer. It's about celebrating both of them. Because they're both going to change the world.

[myzo-calledlife]

“You get a strange feeling when you leave a place, like you’ll not only miss the people you love, but you miss the person you are at this time and place because you’ll never be this way ever again”

Oohwee am I feeling this quote today kids.

In just 50 or so hours my New York summer will draw to a close. I’ll struggle with the double lock on the door of apartment 4D for the last time. I’ll walk down 19th street past the 16 Handles where I spent so many nights with my roommates and the gym that I couldn’t afford to join where I took an aerial yoga class with Danielle and that lingerie store that I always think is a bakery but isn’t (seriously who tf names a lingerie store Sugar Cookies) and I’ll get in a cab and then on a plane and go back to Michigan for my senior year (!) of college (!!).

And here’s the thing guys, I know in my heart of hearts that I’m coming back here. I know that this city is where I’m meant to be to do what I want to do and live the life I want to live. So even though I’m sad to be leaving, it’s really not a goodbye so much as a “see you in 9 months”.

On top of that I know my senior year will fly by and that I’ll likely be so busy that I won’t even have time to miss New York (wishful thinking, ok?). So I’m not so upset about that.

But what gets me is that I’ll never have New York like this ever again. First of all, I’ll never get to live in an apartment as nice as the one I currently live in (difficult double lock and all) and on top of that I’ll never be this carefree. Interning gives you a kind of freedom that you don’t have in a real job. You’re working, but nothing is really real yet, it’s kind of like adult summer camp. In New York.

My summer in New York has taught me things about myself that I couldn’t have learned in East Lansing. Things like always get in a cab that's already going the direction that you want to go to avoid paying extra fare, always give yourself at least an extra half hour when taking the subway on the weekend, and the price of street hot dogs is almost always negotiable.

But in all seriousness this summer I’ve learned that I am capable of so much more than I ever thought possible. I’ve pushed myself and put myself out there and for the most part I am better for it. I am tougher and smarter and more independent. And none of that would have been possible were it not for this loud, dirty, sometimes terrifying, fucking magical place.

So yes I’ll miss New York while I am away, but what I’m really going to miss is the New York of Summer 2016. I’m going to miss going to my internship that somehow managed to make me feel like an incompetent twit but also like the most important person in the world. I’m going to miss the thrilling moments of ordering a drink and not getting carded in the weeks before I turned 21. I’m going to miss the pure unconditional love of the 6 year old I babysit who always managed to remind me on days when I felt like the city was draining my soul away that there is so much good in the world.

(I’m not going to miss the SWELTERING heat and sweating more than I ever thought humanly possible but that is not the point of this post get it together Zoe)

I’m going to miss the thrill of living in the city for the first time, of falling in love every day, of learning and growing and crying and laughing and loving life in a way that I didn’t know was possible. I’m going to miss who I am in this moment, the people I love and the city that gave me all of this and so much more.

There are a lot of things about this moment in time that I’m going to miss. But I’ve never been one to shy away from change and I think at its core, that might be the beauty of this city. The fact that it’s always changing and in doing so, it welcomes you to change too. Things will never be the exact same way that they were this summer, but the way that things were this summer will allow me to grow into the Zoe that I’m going to be next summer, and the summer after that.

So this is see you later to my favorite place on Earth and goodbye to the person that I am in this moment, but hello to everything that this experience will allow me to become. I’ll be back, New York, and I’ll be different, and you will too, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to love you any less. In fact, it will probably just make me love you even more.

[myzo-calledlife]

So here’s the thing guys: I suck at updating my blog. Like honestly genuinely suck at it. Ive tried to keep up with a posting schedule quite a few times and for some reason unbeknownst to me (considering the face that I want to pursue some kind of writing professionally, as in, for a career, c’mon Zoe get your shit together) I just can’t get myself to update my blog on a regular basis. I recently had a meeting here in NYC (where I’ve been all summer! Wouldn’t that have been  a cool place to blog from? YES IT WOULD HAVE WOW I HATE MYSELF) with someone who gave me some great advice when she told me that I need to set my threshold lower. She told me that if I stop expecting so much of my blog posts, stop trying to make them literary masterpieces and just let myself write without being so critical and putting so much pressure on myself I might have an easier time with it. Basically what I’m saying is this blog is probably going to be total crap and I’m probably never going to want anyone professional to read it ever, but like my newfound mentor told me, writing is a muscle, and you cant get better at it unless you practice, all the god damn time. So basically right now I’m the person at the gym who has no freakin’ idea how to use the weight machines but she's going to come back and keep trying and eventually one day she’s gonna have some super sick biceps. So here’s my most recent attempt at a blog, which will really just be me babbling to myself and trying to turn my chicken leg writing muscles into something more substantial. Welcome to the party, I promise it’ll be at least slightly entertaining.

[myzo-calledlife]

Just in case linmanuel happens to be around and wants to read about how his show transformed my life.

On Wednesday, July 15th I took my seat in the Richard Rodger’s Theatre to watch Lin-Manuel Miranda’s hip hop infused musical about the life of Alexander Hamilton come to life in its third night of Broadway previews.

I had high expectations for the show- I’m a huge fan of Miranda’s work, especially In the Heights, and given the buzz the show had generated I figured I was bound to enjoy it. The show also features a cameo appearance from one of my all time favorite actors, Jonathan Groff, so it was safe to say that the bar was set high.

I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. My expectations were shattered, blown away, absolutely obliterated by what I will remember as a show that transformed everything I thought I knew about theatre.

I struggle to find words to describe the emotions that I experienced during this performance. The word that I used when I described it to my mom the following morning was “electric”. The energy never stopped. Never once did the story drag or slow down and I found myself unwilling to blink for fear of missing a moment of genius.

I wish that I had a more eloquent way of explaining how this incredible show impacted me so profusely. As the first show that I ever saw on Broadway, it left a lasting impression on my humanity that will never go away. I guess the only way to put it is in sharing what I told Lin-Manuel when I met him at the stage door: never in my life has a piece of live theatre touched my soul in the way that Hamilton did, and I don’t think anything ever will in the future.

This show is about to explode. It will win Tony awards, it will attract immense amounts of attention and I believe that it will truly be a show that changes the tide of musical theatre. I am so thankful that I was able to experience the magic of Hamilton in such an early phase of its journey, and I cannot wait to take that journey alongside it and see where it goes, and who it touches along the way

Thank you Lin-Manuel Miranda, thank you to everyone involved in this incredible piece of art. Thank you for sharing this story with me and for allowing me to be a part of its incredible legacy. I feel so blessed to be alive in a time when this groundbreaking show is on the cusp of what I know will become so much bigger than anything I could even imagine.

[myzo-calledlife]

I keep noticing this trend on the internet and it’s starting to really bother me so I want to put something out there. People making posts along the lines of “If someone is important to you, you’ll make time for them,” keep popping up on my dash and my twitter feed and I’m getting real sick of them real fast. 

While it is completely understandable to expect your friends/significant others to spend time with you and make you feel important, sometimes life is busy to the point where it IS NOT POSSIBLE TO MAKE TIME FOR SOMEONE NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU CARE ABOUT THEM.

I can’t speak for everyone but I know that I have days when I literally don’t have time to EAT let alone seek out my friends to make sure that they don’t feel like I’m “not making time” for them. I also really like to call my mom every day when I’m at school, but some days I simply don’t have the time or the energy to make the call, that doesn’t mean  love her any less, it’s just a fact. Furthermore, at the end of an incredibly busy day, sometimes I want to be by myself, so if I do have some time, it might be spent making sure that I have time to mentally recharge and maintain my sanity.

You cannot MAKE time, time is a FINITE concept. There are only so many hours in the day. People need to stop perpetuating the idea that “if something is important to you, you’ll make time for it.” how about “if someone is important to you, you’ll understand that even though they love you, sometimes they genuinely don’t have time to interact with you but that doesn’t mean they love you any less” and also “pressuring incredibly busy people to feel like they need to constantly spend time with you can cause them to resent you”.

[myzo-calledlife]

On Wednesday, July 15th I took my seat in the Richard Rodger’s Theatre to watch Lin-Manuel Miranda’s hip hop infused musical about the life of Alexander Hamilton come to life in its third night of Broadway previews.

I had high expectations for the show- I’m a huge fan of Miranda’s work, especially In the Heights, and given the buzz the show had generated I figured I was bound to enjoy it. The show also features a cameo appearance from one of my all time favorite actors, Jonathan Groff, so it was safe to say that the bar was set high.

I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. My expectations were shattered, blown away, absolutely obliterated by what I will remember as a show that transformed everything I thought I knew about theatre.

I struggle to find words to describe the emotions that I experienced during this performance. The word that I used when I described it to my mom the following morning was “electric”. The energy never stopped. Never once did the story drag or slow down and I found myself unwilling to blink for fear of missing a moment of genius.

I wish that I had a more eloquent way of explaining how this incredible show impacted me so profusely. As the first show that I ever saw on Broadway, it left a lasting impression on my humanity that will never go away. I guess the only way to put it is in sharing what I told Lin-Manuel when I met him at the stage door: never in my life has a piece of live theatre touched my soul in the way that Hamilton did, and I don’t think anything ever will in the future.

This show is about to explode. It will win Tony awards, it will attract immense amounts of attention and I believe that it will truly be a show that changes the tide of musical theatre. I am so thankful that I was able to experience the magic of Hamilton in such an early phase of its journey, and I cannot wait to take that journey alongside it and see where it goes, and who it touches along the way

Thank you Lin-Manuel Miranda, thank you to everyone involved in this incredible piece of art. Thank you for sharing this story with me and for allowing me to be a part of its incredible legacy. I feel so blessed to be alive in a time when this groundbreaking show is on the cusp of what I know will become so much bigger than anything I could even imagine.

[myzo-calledlife]

I dont really have a central idea for this post, so i think i'm just going to type until something pops into my brain. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with the feeling that I’m wasting my life. i wrote about this yesterday, and I was talking to my mom today and she said something along the lines of “you’re making a mistake” by staying in Michigan for college and now i'm having a small scale existential crisis because part of me wants to leave Michigan and go to a city and live the life I feel like I’m supposed to be living but part of me is saying that I should just finish out my last two years of college and then head towards my future. I’, really not sure kids, but what I will tell you is this:: im scared, and I'm confused, but I'm starting to realize that everyone is scared and confused. I'm 19 years old and I have no fucking idea where my life is going, but maybe that‘s okay. I don’t know. I’ll keep you posted I guess. For now I’m just trying to be present and appreciate my life for what it is instead of being upset for what it is not. And I guess, for today, that is enough. 

[myzo-calledlife]

just some rambling

Lately I’ve been feeling a severe lack of enthusiasm for life. Now at the risk of being labeled a melodramatic teenager, I would like to point out that I don't really feel as though my life is a waste, but rather, I feel trapped and smothered in my mundane everyday existence. My sense of wanderlust has grown immensely and I yearn to travel, go on adventures, take risks, make mistakes, and learn from my life. I know that I have time to do all of these things once I finish school, but I can’t help but feel as though I’m already running out of time to live the life that i want to live. I have yet to take any major risk in my life, my existence is relatively safe, and I would hate to look back in 50 years and say that my life was boring. And yet, here, in suburbia, there aren’t risks to take or adventures to be had. I need to get out of here and even though the idea scares me more than I can express, I know that the time is approaching for me to start living the life that I really want to live.

[myzo-calledlife]

#GetFit update

So with my new internship which has me working 40 hours/week (I feel so adult) I haven't been able to find much time to run lately. This is actually having an impact on me as I have actually found myself missing the feeling I get after a long run.

Even though I constantly complain about hating to run, I'm starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, I’m starting to get used to it. I’ve lost a little bit of weight, but not as much as I would have liked, and now with three trips looming throughout my summer I have more motivation than ever to get fit. This week I’m really going to try to make time to run and continue to monitor my food intake, here’s hoping that my success continues!

[myzo-calledlife]

So I’ve recently booked flights to spend a weekend in New York later this summer. A lot of my friends are there for internships this summer and I’ve decided that now is as good a time as any to make the trek to the cityu,m seeing as I’ll have places to stay free of charge. New York has been a dream of mine since I was 12 years old and I cant wait to go to a city that I have felt such a strong draw to for such a long time. Expect lots of posts leading up to the trip and from the trip, I absolutely can't wait!!

[myzo-calledlife]

Today I want to have a little chat about a c c o u n t a b i l i t y. You see, In high school, when I fought with one of my friends, I always jumped to my own defense- constantly seeing myself as the victim of everyone else’s actions. I frequently found myself wallowing in self pity and feeling as though everyone was out to get me. Eventually, I had to take a step back and realize that this was not the case. While I felt as though it was me against the world, it was really me against myself. I was a part of the problem. I was the one causing myself unhappiness because I refused to accept that I deserved the good things that were happening to me.

This refusal to take accountability ended up costing me one of my best friends in high school and while I have since accepted the loss of a once close friend, it made me realize that we can only play the victim for so long before we have to wake up and realize that sometimes, it really is our fault.

Sitting around and taking pity on yourself for situations that you put yourself in is helping nobody. Take accountability for your actions, wake up and realize that sometimes, YOU are the problem. And at the risk of sounding cliche, don’t make your bed if you aren’t prepared to sleep in it.