nerdymusician19

[nerdymusician19]

“Let’s hope I don’t kill (Yoralith) today and kill someone else’s (PC) instead.” -My DM half an hour before session

[nerdymusician19]

"You're lucky we're virtual right now because if we weren't, I'd crawl across the table and smack you with your DM screen." -One of my players at his other DM

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Me: *rolls a nat 1 perception*

DM: Oh you don’t notice any-

Me: Um, excuse me sir. I have halfling luck. *rolls again and gets a 2 (4 with modifier)* Nevermind. That’s a two for a four total.

DM: Haha. I hAvE hAlFlInG lUcK sIr. Yeah you still don’t see anything.

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Player, whose character is standing in the middle of the party’s camp: I’d like to cast Shatter.

Me: Are you sure?

Player: Yes.

Me: Are you sure?

Player: Yes…

Me: Alright, roll damage. I need everyone else to roll me a con save.

[nerdymusician19]

Module book: *suggests that smart characters can talk their way through a future dungeon crawl*

Me: Haha, my party already did that session three 😂

[nerdymusician19]

Me: writes a campaign full of political intrigue and conflict

My players: create PCs that are too good for my world

[nerdymusician19]

“[Viva la Vida] is just a song about being a dungeon master.” -One of my players who is a DM too

[nerdymusician19]

Player after an orc encounter: I want to find the orcs’ camp.

Me: Ok… Roll investigation.

Player: Nat 20!

Me: *sighs before proceeding to describe an orc camp off the top of my head, thinking she’ll just raid it and go*

Player: I want to attack the closest sleeping orc.

Me: …Roll attack… 😅🙃

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Player: I want to try to find the building.

Me, knowing well what building they’re talking about: Ok sure. Roll me an investigation che-

Player: Nat 20.

Me: …You find the fucking building!

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Critical Chaos Player: Are we allowed to curse? I know we’re streaming so I wanted to double check.

Me: remembers the time I told my player “You find the fucking building” on stream Yeah, you can curse. You’re fine.

[nerdymusician19]

My co-DM as his fighter: Darell is going to move from construct one and attack construct two.

Me, running the encounter: You sure? It’s going to get an opportunity attack on you.

Co-DM: Oh, I know. I’ll take it. Just try me.

Me: rolls a nat 20 I’m so sorry…

Doesn’t help that this was my second nat 20 attack roll against him 😅😂

[nerdymusician19]

Evil Mage: *spends years trying to perfect a Potion of Invisibility*

One of my players: *passes an arcana check to make a potion, despite the high DC*

[nerdymusician19]

Hi everyone! Session 5 of the Lost Mine of Phandelver will be streamed the Saturday at 7 pm EST at twitch.tv/wolfire997. I’m so excited to get back behind the DM screen. Hope to see you all there!

[nerdymusician19]

[nerdymusician19]

Me, the DM: internet goes out, causing me to disappear from the session for a bit

My players, apparently: Roll for chaos!

[nerdymusician19]

“I’ve had my tail grabbed today, which hasn’t happened since I was 15.” -a very tired tiefling sorcerer

[nerdymusician19]

So… I’ve started playing D&D since I last posted on here (sorry it has been so long), including running a campaign of my own. Session two, I had a dungeon crawl planned out that was supposed to take two sessions. Instead, my players BLUFFED their way though said dungeon crawl and got it done in one session with time to spare. I love my players… I love my players…