nervouscreatordreamercowboy
nervouscreatordreamercowboy
Mostly Just A Frightened Cowboy
9 posts
my mom is disappointed in how anxious I am
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Quote
All Too Well is the first song that I’ve wrote for this record, actually… And it kept coming back to me because it told the story so well, in such a full way. It starts with meeting someone, and all the details about that innocent beginning and it follows all the way to the bitter end. It is a really emotional song ‘cause it shows why loss is so painful. Because it was once good, and you can remember it.
Taylor Swift, Track by Track of Red: “All Too Well” (via yellowprint)
99 notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Taylor Swift photographed by Thomas Whiteside for Wonderland Magazine (2014)
2K notes · View notes
Text
Cracks
Cracks
It started with her fingers: the skin dried out as the cold months settled in and the costumes came out. If left untreated the patches would begin to crack open until crimson peaked through the gaps. The scabs spread up her arms, on the soles of her feet, into her scalp until the bleeding kept her from school for days. Her mother used to warn her each night before bed, “take care of your hands, they’re your God-given tools to take care of those around you. You must never let them crack, understand?” The question was left hanging in the air to haunt Paisley’s thoughts until sleep would finally relieve her. Superstitions were not uncommon in Meriden, but the belief in cracked skin was one that seemed to appear in the Hudson’s family alone.
Paisley had grown up on her Grandfather’s knee, pestering him with countless questions while he retold the story of their cursed bloodline. Deep down she knew he was exaggerating, by then she was big enough to phane the innocence and curiosity that used to linger on her mind. Her Grandfather would play up the great “horrors” their old relatives possessed, the most frequent being cracked skin that hid the truth beneath. Paisley drew those stories, reinventing the villains as misinterpreted beauties. Her Mother even bought her a book of geodes as a comparison to the hidden layer beneath their skin. Paisley often caught herself dreaming of these creatures, wondering what magnificence had been smothered by human’s irrational fears.
“Remember, princess,” he would always begin, “it’s only a fairytale. No one could ever be such a monster, not now not ever. Do you understand pumpkin?” She’d squeal as he tickled an answer out of her, laughing along with his granddaughter until their sides ached.
“What if there were a monster?” She’d manage once the game had ended and her imagination got the best of her tongue.
Her Grandfather considered the idea for a moment, then released a long sigh. “If there ever were another,” his twinkling eyes darkened with his words, goosebumps raced up Paisley's arms at the sudden change in tone. “If there ever were another beast,” he began again, steadier this time. “I would take my shotgun off the wall, hold it up to him,” his frail arms lifted into position as if with their own intentions. His limbs shook with the effort it took to hold them steady, fingers poised on an invisible trigger as he slowly continued, “and say ‘you got no place with us, and we ain’t afraid of you!’” With a tremendous shout, her Grandfather’s body shook with unseen fury as he fired the gun.
It took a moment for Paisley to realize that the tears welling in her eyes had slipped down her cheeks. Her stomach twisted, threatening to return her breakfast up onto the bearskin rug beneath them. Sliding off her Grandfather’s knee, she scrambled to the bathroom down the hall and promptly vomited. They didn’t go back to her Grandfather’s for the rest of the summer.
The trees had a mind of their own, bowing low in the wind and snapping back upright as the thunder rumbled solemnly in the darkening sky overhead. Paisley shivered, tugging her rain jacket tighter around her shoulders as she jogged to catch up with the others before the downpour could separate them completely. Katherine glanced back, dropping into a slow walk to join Paisley.
“You don’t have to come with us, you know.” Her perfect curls hung soaked in the rain, mascara stained her pink cheeks. “The cars are still unlocked if you want to turn around.”
Paisley considered the girl for a moment. It had only taken a single night for the girl to decide that perhaps the freak in the back of the classroom could be worthwhile, a bit of last minute fun before senior year drove her friends halfway across the country in search of overpriced schools and cramped living quarters. The invitation to join them had been simple, although Paisley wasn’t overly fond of the idea of passing notes in class, it would have been a crime to turn down Katherine White. The details of the excursion had been left unshared, not that Paisley minded. But finding herself tucked in Meriden’s most unpleasant hiking trail whilst stumbling through the freezing rain sometime after two am was not what she had in mind.
“I don’t want to turn around,” she managed through clenched teeth. “I’ll be okay, I promise.”
A flash of disapproval smeared over Katherine's features. Her red lips curled into a sneer, but before the words could top off her look, Michael called from up ahead, dragging her attention back to the group. “Where here!” His voice was a muffled shout through the sheets of rain.
“Fantastic!” Katherine chided back, grabbing hold of Paisley’s jacket as the faint outline of a cabin came into view. “Just try not to mess up too much,” she added as the pair reunited with the others on the steps of the house.
Michael tried the door handle, swearing as the lock refused to budge. Taking a slow step back, he surveyed the shattered windows and molding siding for a new entrance. Paisley felt Katherine’s grip tighten, “didn’t you mention a cellar entrance last time we were here, babe? Maybe one of us could go check it out.”
He considered the option a moment, pushing past annoyed couples to scan the side of the rotting building. “It could work,” he finally admitted, “but I don’t think the gap is big enough for any of us to get through.”
“Paisley is small enough,” the blonde beamed with delight, ushering their newest recruit down the steps. “It’s just to the right, the doors shouldn’t be too much of a squeeze for you. Once you’re inside just unlock the door for us and we’ll be ready to get this party going.”
Paisley kept her mouth shut as she trekked through the slick mud to the cellar doors. A rusted padlock hung on the handles, and one of the faded white doors had caved in at the base. Tentatively Paisley applied pressure to the weakened boards with her boot, easing her weight on until a satisfying snap sent more wood chips tumbling down the stone steps into the black room below.
“Any day now!” Katherine’s voice floated through the storm, pushing Paisley to reluctantly slide into the narrow gap.
The passage down was slick with fresh downpour, and the musty smell of aged memories invaded Paisley’s senses until she could hardly breathe. A quick try at the lights confirmed her suspicions that the home had been alone for quite some time now. Each creak of the wooden supports overhead reminded her of the grieving cries of an abandoned child, left alone in the woods to crumble apart.
Reaching into the depths of her jacket pockets, Paisley retrieved the flashlight Michael had lent her back at the parking lot. Flicking the switch, the damp room revealed its secrets, which mostly consisted of molding sitting chairs and forgotten dinner platters. Following the stairway leading up, Paisley let herself into the living space and promptly unlocked the door.
Michael swaggered into the room, arms open as he breathed in the smell of the cabin. Turning to the group, he grinned. “So, who’s up for a game of truth or dare?”
Paisley picked at the frayed end of the blanket as the teenagers giggled around her. The game had been dragged out an unnecessarily long time after Cindy and Ryan had decided that their dare was better off done away from the others, leaving Katherine, Michael, and Paisley to listen to the rain until it became apparent that the pair would not be rejoining them for quite some time.
“Alright then,” Michael sighed, taking a swig from one of the brown bottles Ryan had insisted on bringing, “truth or dare, Katherine?”
Katherine threw her head back in thought, sending a wave of golden curls down her nearly bare back. “I think I’ll go with truth this time,” she shared a wink with her boyfriend, “sorry to disappoint.”
Paisley felt her dinner threaten to find its own way out of her body.
“Tell us about your Dad.” He chuckled over his drink, “I don’t believe you’ve shared that yet.”
The color faded from the girl’s cheeks, her fingers dug into the blanket as she shook her head. “No, are you insane, Michael?”
“Aw baby, don’t be like that.” Michael frowned, “it’s just part of the game. Why do you have to be such a-”
Katherine held up a perfectly manicured hand, wrapping the other around herself as she stood. “Don’t call me that. I’m going back to the car.” All grace evaporated from her walk, Katherine managed to the door before facing them once again. “Can I have the keys, Michael?”
“Not until you give us the truth.” He snarled back, his rancid breath hitting Paisley like the heat of a roaring fire: unpredictable and dangerous. Katherine’s frame shrank at the sound of his voice, lowering to the base of the door until she sat shivering on the floor.
“I have a secret.” Paisley mustered, her hands trembled against her ruined jeans. She cast Katherine a hopeful look, sent a silent prayer that the girl wouldn’t tell the world, and lifted her cracked hands to her face.
She’d only managed the trick once in the seventh grade when her Mother wanted to prove a point to their pastor, and even then scars lined where the skin had broken. Paisley reminded herself of the worn book of geodes on her desk, imagined the beautiful crystals hidden beneath layers of grey rock, and dug her nails into the dry patches of her scalp. The skin beneath her fingers began to peel away, pulling strings of mucus along with it. Pink flesh curled back to reveal slick darkness beneath, green eyes blinked away the slime to peer at the screaming boy beside her. It felt incredible to be free again, even if only for a moment.
When Ryan and Cindy came rushing down the stairs, pulling their sneakers and jackets back on, Paisley was at the door escorting Katherine down the stairs saying something about leaving her phone in the car. Michael stared at the door as it shut, mouth agape as he attempted to form words that would never be believed.
As Paisley wrapped her jacket around her new friend, Katherine couldn’t help but wonder what she’d tell her parents when Michael McClain came pounding on their door claiming that he’d seen a demon, when all she’d seen was a new friend.
1 note · View note
Video
Taylor’s Instagram Story (March 29th 2019)
302 notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
“I’ve come to a realization that I need to be able to forgive myself for making the wrong choice, trusting the wrong person, or figuratively falling on my face in front of everyone. Step into the daylight and let it go.” - Taylor Swift (x)
3K notes · View notes
Text
only every day of my life thank you
do y’all ever think about the rock version of wanegbt
667 notes · View notes
Text
TRUTH
i will be putting on my horse blinders when cats is released. no uptight white journalists digging deep into their asses for criticism allowed in my happy space. i KNOW miss taylor alison swift had fun being a cat and i support her
26 notes · View notes
Text
How does one Tumblr?? I feel so out of place and unworthy of all of this...
1 note · View note
Text
Tumblr media
I guess this is my life now, thanks for coming 💖
1 note · View note