newtrons

[newtrons]

beloved kaito doodle. miss you king

[newtrons]

fanfiction writers.

whenever i browse ao3 for any fic that those gods have created, i am aware that any and all fanfiction writers (other than myself) are a different breed of human. i have this here handy dandy list of things to expect when reading fanfiction. feel free to take a mental note. this might be a long one.

Rule 1: the ‘my house exploded, burned down and then exploded again’ rule.

Yes, it’s a bit of a meme. Those posts about fanfic writers suffering through the most absurd shit, and/or having the best moments of their lives, and then apologizing for being late. I myself realized this when I was writing and somehow managed to tear my nail from my toe, got sent to hospital because of my incredibly caring and also very anxious roommate, which lead to me discovering I had appendicitis and had surgery done. Here are some examples of better people than I am experiencing this:

This should be enough to tell you: these people are different to us mere mortals. So, I made this rule, which I have affectionately named, which states that when reading any fix, always expect the worst to happen to the author, because apparently the universe wants to stop them from writing peak.

Rule 2: Don’t be afraid to experiment.

I, myself, am obsessed with 5 fandoms: Danganronpa, Jujutsu Kaisen, Tomodachi Life(??? Is this even a fandom???), Persona and, last but not least, Dragon Ball (Sparking Zero is coming out soon and I’m ecstatic. I’ll try to avoid the brackets from now on because nobody likes reading these). So, obviously, if I were to be on AO3 at this second, I’d probably go for one of those.

And then, dear reader, I sorted by all fics from most hits to least.

Rule 2.5: It’s all fucking Harry Potter - Interlude

Yes, I just said don’t be afraid to experiment, but I’m stopping just to ask this:

Why is it all Harry Potter?

I kid you not, the top 3 fics, as of writing this, are all Harry Potter, sitewide. And then, beyond the top 3, there’s just more. And I get it - a lot of people like Harry Potter. I haven’t read it, I don’t particularly care for it, but a lot of people like it. I know this because I see it everywhere I go. I hear it everywhere I go. I walk down the street and I somehow hear Harry Potter in a conversation. I get home, look at AO3, Harry Potter. I log onto Twitter—

And as I get to this, I want to point out that I follow people that I have never seen mention Harry Potter. I follow people that have nothing to do with it. I follow Lythero. Fighting game youtuber with cute little bunnies who did the Silver Campaign recently. Great. I follow Opera GX, a web browser. Awesome. I follow OMOCAT, developer of OMORI, and I follow the OMORI account. Wonderful. This shows that I follow people who I enjoy seeing. I follow people I want on my feed, and yet they cannot give me the pleasure of limiting my feed to the accounts that I want on my feed.

—and there it is. Harry Potter. I promise you this does not motivate me to look it up.

And I hear your cries of ‘oh, newtrons! You silly fucking goose! Just exclude the fandom from your searches”, and I hear you. I do this. But I, the annoyance that I am, just feel a sense of rage when I see Harry Potter at all. It fills me with the urge to throw a cinderblock from my window. I apologize for my tangent.

Rule 2: Don’t be afraid to experiment - Continued.

And so, as I look through thousands upon thousands of Harry Potter fanfictions, I stumble upon a fanfiction for the series ‘Saiki K’. Awesome. Great. Synonyms. I click on it, knowing nothing about the original anime, and I read through a few chapters of a psychic guy having fun with his silly friends. And that is what motivates me to watch the entire anime, because it made me like the characters, and it doesn’t show up very often. So, please, if you see something you don’t see often, experiment. Read a BTS fanfiction if you want to go there. Read some OC work, because some of those are incredible. Feel free to dip your toes into the ‘every fandom and fanfiction ever’ kiddie pool. Have fun with it.

Rule 3: horny

Some people, unfortunately, are horny. Very much so, in fact. Obviously, I have nothing against NSFW, despite sounding more like a hypocrite by the second, but let me explain. I am like a toddler, in that I get incredibly upset with seeing something that I don’t like on some occasions. Yes, I am fine with NSFW, but I am only fine with NSFW until I cross the threshold of ‘okay, I’ve seen and read enough hardcore smut over lunch to the point where I can read it with a blank face. Maybe I should take a step back from the NSFW’. Then, when I cross that threshold and see NSFW, even if it isn’t the author’s intention, I still become filled with immeasurable pain at seeing anything NSFW. If you can avoid it, please, please don’t be a hypocrite and annoyance like me and prepare to see some NSFW. It makes you enjoy reading off of places like AO3 and Wattpad (i have never read off of watt pad but i hear it has many-a self-inserts).

ily, ty for reading.

[newtrons]

this silly goober.

this little skrunkly. people understand not my extent of love for this spoingly boingly. when i tell you that shuichi saihara is my favourite character in fiction, i don’t want people thinking that i have a human amount of respect and affection for this man. they don’t know that i have a simply inhuman amount of those things for this silly little man. i would fight god itself for this man. i am willing to travel to the far reaches of the galaxy to ensure this man’s safety. this man has been the quickest to gain my utmost respect and i haven’t even met him. i am going to die over this man. it’s getting unHEALTHY