nickelsarchive

[nickelsarchive]

Conversations with my Heart </3

A conversation between my ego and my soul

Mind : What should I do?

Heart : Let go

Mind : I'm scared. I don't know how my life would be without {redacted}. It's scares me when I have those thoughts. I don't know why I have a strong grip towards them.. . . I know I deserve better, but I want it from them.

Heart : I know I know. But you have to trust me.

Mind : I want to trust you; I really have been trying to surrender.

Heart : We see that you're trying. Whenever you're ready, there's no judgement. You don't have to lie to yourself or feel ashamed. We understand why it's difficult.

Mind : I'm ashamed because I know they're not good for me, I see the signs, but I still want them. Why do I crave someone who doesn't even want to be with me. It makes me question if I really do love myself.

Heart : You do love yourself, you're just learning how to love yourself. That was something that wasn't taught to you. You'll see for yourself one day, how much you really love yourself. Everything that you're doing, you're doing for you.

Loving yourself means not giving up on yourself. Loving yourself is allowing yourself to continue to try. Loving yourself is allowing yourself to feel your emotions, express them, and release them. Loving yourself is Healing You/r/Self.

Trust me, when the time comes where you have to choose, you'll choose you.

Don't Give Up.

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I hope he knows that the love I have for him, is a love that no other man has ever received from me; that everything about us was unique </3

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. . . . . . . .

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I hope my fantasies of being with you are my reality in another universe </3

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you don’t talk too much. you aren’t too loud. you aren’t too needy. you aren’t too sensitive. you aren’t too this, or that. you aren’t too much anything. you will never be too much: you are you, and you are allowed to take up space. you are allowed to exist however you choose.

[nickelsarchive]

I don't quite understand why I'm always finding different ways to improve my aesthetic just to feel more confident within myself even though I feel secure enough as a person. I want to feel like an almost 30 yr old adult in NYC. It starts to feel like I'm not enough even though deep down I know I am.

As I started putting myself out in the dating pool again, I started realizing that I don't really have a sex appeal. Don't get me wrong, my friends always compliment me using the words " cute" and " adorable" but I rarely ever hear the words SEXY.

I'm learning not to compare myself to other people (healing) but I'm starting to see why people dress the way they dress. A lot of men go for someone who looks "sexy" and dresses provocative. I feel like with me being associated with the words "cute" puts me in the friend zone.

I want to not care because the person that's meant for me will love me for me and nothing more. But how can I bring that side of me out? I don't want to feel like a little girl/teenager anymore. I want my aesthetic to scream IRRESISTIBLE, POWERFUL, SEXY. . . without having to be overly sexual.