no-longer-prophetic

[no-longer-prophetic]

We are both the Bonsai

And the bonsai artist

[no-longer-prophetic]

Mum,

I want to continue you, not replace you

I want to respect you, not forget you

I want to honor you, not shadow you

Can you keep teaching me how?

I’m here in the home you built

Wearing your pieces,

Holding your number

Smiling to your friends

Seeing their fondness for you - reflected in their eyes towards me

I didn’t arrive in time to catch your fall,

But I’m here now

Can you keep teaching me how to stay close?

And to feel safe within this forgiveness?

i want to feel capable of integrating Our lives

I want to keep you with me.

As you drift, I want our bond to grow

[no-longer-prophetic]

Fell into a spiritual cult trap

[no-longer-prophetic]

You were allowed to rest… but only if you isolated.

You were allowed to wear what you wanted… but only if he approved the energy.

You were allowed to avoid capitalism… but you had to pay for it with your autonomy.

[no-longer-prophetic]

The truth will set you free

But first it’ll piss you off make you cry into your cereal

[no-longer-prophetic]

Crying, grieving.

I just really wanted to love someone.

I just really wanted to love.

To love, and someone to tell me that everything was going to be fine.

And he did, and I believed him, even as my world crumbled around me.

If I was perfect enough, I could do it.

I believed there was no limit, I could love that much. I could love so much to change and fix everything.

I just wanted someone to love.

I softened to love them as much as I could.

I tried.

Yet, sometimes love is not enough. Love between two people is not under only my sole control.

Thus,

I'll love myself, I'll love my friends...

Love has hurt me.

But I cant imagine closing forever.

It pursues through me. It'd be remiss, to think I could stop it.

[no-longer-prophetic]

She is learning to suffer less,

And to nap more,

And that… remains true.

[no-longer-prophetic]

That moment when you’ve left something dark and tragic and yearn for new yet know it’s going to take the time it takes

[no-longer-prophetic]

If it doesn’t betray.

Contemplating alternatives to “inshallah”

[no-longer-prophetic]

Back in my hometown

6 years on

It’s grown, and so have I

It’s easier to stay lost in the crowd

This time

My dad is easier on the never ending work

My mum has forgotten everything

This time

Is unusual, yet not unpleasant

Unfamiliar, yet somehow with an

Iridescence that catches the corner of my eye

I’m home again

Am I?

[no-longer-prophetic]

A poem for my pocket

I will love you and you will love me you will love me for my freedom how you can't put me in a box you'll love me for my weirdness, beautiful and darting thoughts you'll love me even if we might part one day not because of lack of love but because this is a free love and you'll feel more grateful, that we love this way you'll feel, and know, that this free love is fierce and pure, unchained, unmolded, expansive, true you know even if we part your heart is adorned inside me treated as sacred we will love for the secret, hidden unconditional fever of love that we will never stop having for each other

yet, may this freedom not be so we run from closeness not be so we dont push those painful roots down may the freedom be spacious to hold, not control

our wounds will still be real the open doors are for us to meet each other part of me asking this freedom is because I really, want you to stay.

[no-longer-prophetic]

"But while I was looking at you, fighting head-on with God, I thought - I should leave you alone. She's fighting in a realm that's beyond my reach. But, don't do this too often, It makes me worried."

"About what?"

"If you defeat God, you'll be God... But what if you lose?"

"I'd die."

"That's why I'm worried."

"So you want me to finish 16 episodes before I do? Is that what you want me to say?"

"I've grown attached to you. That's it."

[no-longer-prophetic]

Lonely, but free Confused, not ignorant In pieces, actively metaphorphing

[no-longer-prophetic]

Eat, Pray, Return

I'm so sorry this world did this to us. I still don't know the point of it all. But I felt compelled to figure it out, so I could come back and share the haul.

Was that futile? Should I have stayed? Some say there's no point, just sit still, let go, get paid

But there was a lingering in the air I just couldn't bear, It seemed so rarely noticed a heaviness hidden behind your stare

Was that my projection? These invisible burdens? Why did I ache to lighten loads, few agreed were certain?

I'm so sorry that world frayed us, and I went so far and got lost, I thought I was learning something, Rather I learnt something else, at a cost

Did you get lost too? Did you feel an ache? Did this world mislead you? I hope to ask you some day.

Despite what this world has done for us I didn't expect to find these threads still existing, barely, and become my lifeline and guide

I don't know if I know everything yet I don't know if this is the time I'll stay I still feel compelled to figure it out So I can tell you everything, and explain

Only this time, I'll do it differently, I understand more Not all, never all But more.

This time I won't allow, Anyone to take my thread out of my hands, Near or far, let's remain unburied And weave as free as we can

A tragic comedy, A devastating game, Maybe it's not the seekers vs the stayers Maybe we're the same

[no-longer-prophetic]

If you try to avoid heartbreak

you might avoid your own heart <3

[no-longer-prophetic]

irreverently reverent

[no-longer-prophetic]

The ache isn’t because you're still stuck. The ache is the detox pain from releasing a deep belief that you had to be chosen to matter.