paperartwriter

[paperartwriter]

Rise Up You Pretty Thang by icypink featuring glass drinkware

[paperartwriter]

Diorama Malam

Pekat malam menyelimuti dunia

Aras bergemuruh mengoyak telinga

Bulir-bulir hujan membahasakan kesunyian

Aku benar-benar tak mau sendirian

  Dimana engkau, duhai penyelimut hati?

Akankah engkau mengunjungiku dikala senggang sendiri?

Malam ini terlalu menyebalkan tanpa kehadiranmu

Aku benci jika harus terlarut dalam kesepian semu

Mungkin aku hanya butiran kenangan yang melintas di kehidupanmu

Atau pernahkah kau menganggapku bagian penting dalam kenangan indahmu?

  Air mataku mungkin akan mengering dan rasa menjadi hampa

Rasa sakit ini ingin kutepis saja

Merinding aku memikirkan hal nyata

Bahwa kita mungkin tidak akan pernah bersama

[paperartwriter]

A Note to Self

It was too close to deceive my eyes It was too real to be a dream My life becomes a question, why is it hard, why it's all in pain I miss the old time when life is just a laughter When the crazy was the genius The golden sun rise for me and bird chirping for the earth Why shed a tears if you have none Every lesson sometimes need to be learnt in a hard way Sadness doesn't mean the end of every dream The life is a road and it's always winding and long But we can't pause the life so we move on When life treats you bad, pop a bottle and drink the pain away Because life is a celebration, not a death scene to be mourned Call me if you need a friend, being alone won't help you out Share your laughter, tears, and anger Human isn't an inanimate objects, we feel, we touch, we cry Don't regret for who you are Don't hate for what you have got Trouble is a nourishment to your maturity If it's too easy, you don't do it right You are blessed, you just need to remember that.

[paperartwriter]

2016

Welcome to the first page of 366 blank pages that you are about to fill.

(expect me to fill the first post of 2016 later)

[paperartwriter]

Dream a little dream.

[paperartwriter]

All the girls wanna be a rose, but I'd rather be a poppy.

[paperartwriter]

When you say 'yes' on something, you'll be say 'no' to other things. Life is about what to choose not to gain all.

[paperartwriter]

Traveling #deardiaryproject

Been a long time! Here’s a throwback post I made in Jotter when I transited in Changi Airport T1, on my way to HCMC on September 19th 2015 (05:39 AM)

What is travelling for most of the people? Visiting new places? Taking thousand photos? Shopping local products? Experience local culinary? Or something else?

For me travelling is more than that… It is an art of self-exploration. I love travelling so much, I love how travelling can lead me to meet new people and get some new perspectives. By travelling I can find myself, a brand new me, or the other side of me that never been explored in my daily life.

My very first journey to a foreign country is when I first set my feet in Australia. I was 16 years old and I went there alone. I, to be honest, hadn't been anywhere far away without my parents and I never went to any other country before Australia. As I finally marked my journey alone to Australia, I became very addicted to traveling.

A month in Australia had given me a new perspective: strangers are awesome, having international friends is great, and… partying with em isn't so bad. I came from a small family in a small city in Indonesia. My neighbourhood's majority is Moslem and most of them also practice traditional custom very tightly. In the school and society I was taught that partying, drinking, smoking (cigarette or… even worse, weed), or… saying rude words are very bad. Yeah those are bad, but it doesn’t mean that we can't embrace it. What we need is our commitment for not doing so, but never make ourselves preserved from those things. In fact, we are living in the world full of the bad things, all we need to do is filtering what's good and what's bad.

When I came back, my friends asked me what I did there. They suspected that I might get some bad influences from the foreign country. They asked me did I go to some parties, or did I ever smoke/drink/etc there, how could I get along when they knew that I'm Moslem and I don't drink alcohol, etc, etc…

And yes… I went to their party, I had some friends who drink a lot, I apparently made friends with them. The bonus is: they respect me as a Moslem and they love how great to be friend with me. They never judged me, so who am I judging them too?

Since then I promise myself to spare some money every year to visit one country. My plan came true and it happens till now. Apparently I often travel alone or with less than 4 people traveling with me. I enjoy small group for traveling than a huge group because too many heads means too many options and it results in too many disagreements. That's lack of fun.

"I haven't been everywhere, but it's on my list", that's how I describe my travel destinations, just like what Susan Sontag said.

Traveling has become my ultimate major obsession (besides becoming an MBA if it's counted) -if I can be a bit hyperbolic- until today. Traveling gave me an experience and it’s worth for every cent I spend than having it spent on a thing. Well… as a woman of course a pair of shoes are important as long as I can manage myself to spend around $20-$50 per month for it, and still able to spare $100-$150 every month for once in a year trip.

Traveling gives me some skills I wudn’t get from a book or school. I was a shy person, I rarely started a conversation with new people. I also had a very low self-esteem as I wasn't really attractive and usually spoke less than I should. By traveling I gained confidence to talk with people whom actually never judged me negatively as much as I thought they would. Traveling makes me brave and smart enough to survive in any situation that might occur. And the last but not least… it improves my IELTS score (because I get used to speak and listen in English from many different type of accents :p) and makes me good at reading map!

So what are you waiting for? Pack your stuffs and go mark your journey!

[paperartwriter]

"Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah. Menulis adalah bekerja untuk keabadian."

Pramoedya Ananta Toer

[paperartwriter]

Cream Cheese Corned Spagetti & Melted Cheese Rolls

Been in love with this simple dinner and forgotten my diet plan during fasting month (in fact I had no plan for diet, honestly)

I think this mouthwatering simple “anak kost”-an dinner hack should be posted.

Cream Cheese Corned Spagetti

1/2 onion + 1 garlic + 2 tbs coconut oil + a pinch of salt ---> saute till smell good

Add two mounted spoon of corned beef, melted cheese, 50 ml of milk, 1 tbs of canned tomato, pepper, and sliced chili if you love spicy to the above ingredients. Saute them till it’s all mixed and creamy.

Well... at the same time boil the spagetti for about 9-10 mins till it’s al dente, by also adding a lil pinch of salt and 1 tsp of coconut oil (it avoids the spagetti from sticking into each other)

Served the al dente spagetti with the sauce!

The next recipe will be a bit tricky but... still easy peasy...

Melted Cheese Rolls

A loaf of wheat bread, cut into pieces, add water until it’s molded.

Saute: 1/2 onion + 1 garlic + 2 tbs coconut oil + a pinch of salt and then add 25 ml of milk until it’s all mixed and has a creamy texture.

Shape the molded bread and add the cream, easy melt cheese, and boiled beef ham.

Stick each side till it’s shaped like springrolls and then... deep fried it.

Tadaa!

[paperartwriter]

Don't hate me because of who I am #deardiaryproject

Have you ever try to fit in with the situation that exactly out of your zone? I bet everyone at least once in their life has experienced something like this. What would you do when you are in that position?

You will try so hard to fit in, because you are a human, you are a social being, you want to get socialized. To get socialized you have to make sure that you’re being accepted by the people around. But… What if you aren’t the same with them and you just can’t be like them, and you just want to be real like who you are, but they hate you for that?

I’ve been in that situation so many times… And I survived so many times.

At the first time, of course that’s pretty depressing but… I’m still alive and they are part of my life, I have to face it and go with it. We can’t choose people we want to meet: Some are pain in the arse, some are just so nice you even want to bag them.

What if you have to deal with the situation you don’t like for such a long period? And even worse… What if you are in the situation where the people inside it aren’t accepting you for who you are? Oh dear… Embrace it. They don’t have to like you for who you are, but keep doing nice, don’t act shitty back… Fire doesn’t muffle fire, water does.

People who hate you for who you are, actually are the people who hate themselves for not being like you. They secretly look up on you in a negative way. If they can become you or better than you, they won’t be jealous for what you have and who you are. People with lack of jealousy are people who are emotionally rich and they need no hatred to fill their peaceful heart. So… Don’t let the people who are jealous to you bother your life, it’s their problem to hate you not yours at all.

If they ever bully or hurt you physically or mentally, then you know when to react. But as long as just cynical words you hear… Ah it’s nothing.

Don’t be scared with people who hate you, be scared if nobody hate you. Why? Because if you are a safety player, you aren’t under the spotlight, you barely noticeable. Even a very loveable person has at least one hater. If there’s someone who hates you, trust me, there would be some people who love you too.

Life is a balance, yin and yang. What is “good” if there’s no “bad”?

Be happy for being you.

xx

[paperartwriter]

"Hm... that's hot!" #deardiaryproject

Another bright Sunday, when the sun is never looked pale in the sky of Jakarta. I’m again spending my time writing a blog in Sarinah, enjoying a cup of hot english breakfast tea (despite of the hot weather outside the cafe) and a huge spicy tuna bread.

I finally have to admit that I start to love Starbucks inspite of its notorious name as the most instagramable kind of cafe for some hipster kids. To be precise… I think I only fall in love with Starbucks in Sarinah.

By the time this post was being made, Mr. Dalton Tanonaka sat next to my table and I was so excited and wished to say hi and then… take a picture with him. He is the man I idolize the most besides Suryopratomo and Sandiaga Uno. But unfortunately, he was sitting with some of his collegues and I guess they were in the middle of some serious convo… I had no guts to disturb. But… OMG, Dalton Tanonaka sipped a goddamn same english breakfast tea next to my fuckin table! I’d like to take a candid of him, but I don’t think it’s appropriate. I’m not a friggin’ stalker.

Talking about Dalton Tanonaka, Suryopratomo, and Sandiaga Uno… What makes them similar? They are the smart men. They are smart and that’s what makes them getting more values as they’re getting older. They don’t just get older, they are getting more experienced and knowledgeable.

Smart people tend to be nice looking, since they are unconsciously use their brain for positive things all the time such as holding a smart conversation, having in-depth thought, or learning something. Smart people never feel enough of studying one thing, they are eager for something new. They keep curious all the time, that what makes their brain keep working. They hate to be dull-minded, they love to think about important thing and simplify unimportant issue (that’s why they don’t do gossip, they only trust the fact). They possess more outstanding qualities when they get older. Therefore, for them, age is just a matter of quantity not a quality at all…

Do you want to have a smart pillow talk with your spouse? For me, sure hell I do… I will prefer this rather than just a meaningless rags talk which always been repeated since romantic words don’t improve like a smart conversation do :)

Okay… I still need that rags and corny romantic pillow talk tho… But not too much.

Despite of the awesomeness an intelligent man has because of his brain, I will consider them better if they are also well behave and act gentle. Some smart people sometimes act very cocky or just… Simply careless. The three men I mentioned above are for sure have two main things that a real man should possess: attitude and brain. Otherwise, they won’t be like them today… They won’t be success. Successful person usually is a person with good attitude, a never ending willingness to learn, and most of all… A kind person.

My mum used to tell me: don’t care of how smart or rich you are, it won’t make you have a good quality in life if you have no virtues. Ah… She is right.

A kind hearted man tends to act gentle to a woman and good to other men. They know how to treat people, simply not because they want to be accepted by the society, they just want to be a good person for others. This sincere feeling is what a kind hearted man would likely has and this lead them to the right attitude. Some guys act nice and gentle just to attract a girl and make them sleep with him, that’s not kind and that’s definitely not a right attitude. But… That’s what commonly happened.

The terms of “kind”, “nice”, and “gentle” are being abused and manipulated so much… Finding the real one is getting hard. But, not all men are assholes, so I have no worry bout it :)

A gentleman (in my opinion) is a man who knows how to act right to a woman, respect them, treat her when necessary, and simply willing to make her happy. A true gentleman can easily recognize from the way he interacts with women, treats his mother/siblings, and his respect to his father.

So if any of you asking me what is a classy guy? I'll simply answer that as a man with attitude and intelligence. Like Paris Hilton always says: "Hm... that's hot!".

xx

[paperartwriter]

Mt. Bromo for the first time at 4.00 am to 6.00 am.

[paperartwriter]

30 Minutes Friend #deardiaryproject

Again… It has been two weeks since my first visit to Sbucks Sarinah, and now I do it again. Trust me, I’m not a typical Sbucks kind a girl, but I really have no idea where to spend my easy Saturday in Jakarta.

I’m lucky that I got my green tea latte for free by the way… So here is the story about what happened to me in this cafe with green mermaid logo (not sure bout the logo, tho…) an hour ago.

I ordered my latte (for free) and a slice of cappucinno brownies to a lady with cute glasses. As usual she asked my name to be written in a cup, and then I replied to her “Hardita”. Well… I -to be honest- rarely use this name to be addressed on me, but I just felt like changing it sometimes for fun. Therefore she wrote down the cup as “Happy Saturday reading! Hardita”. Then I proceed to look for seat with the electrical plug near by because I need to recharge my iPad. I chose my seat near the window which directly facing the Wahid Hasyim Street.

A moment later, the barista called a name which is quite a rhyme with mine. It was “Hardi” and later she called my name “Hardita”. A tall man in blue shirt proceed to take his drink together with me.

When we approached the table to take our order, the barista smiled at us and said “Are you guys couple or siblings with the same name?”

We looked at each other and giggled, and then the man said “I just met a girl who has a similar name with me…”

The barista laughed and said, “well that’s such a great coincidence… Enjoy your latte!”

Later when I walked back to my seat, he said to me “nice to meet you, funny that your name is alike with mine… Can I sit here?”

It was so funny to meet a random stranger in a coffee shop and talked for a while with him. It’s all happened starting by a coincidence. Our name.

I had a plan to read a book today, actually… I wanted to finish a book written by Vladimir Nabokov which is recommended by my old friend. I’m pretty sure it’s a famous book, titled “Lolita” and it has been banned in a past because it’s a very explicit and radical book about a phedophile widower.

Well… my plan was canceled because suddenly I had to spend my 30 minutes to talk with the man who has a similar name with me. I don’t mind actually… Because we had a good conversation anyway.

He came to the coffee shop to wait for his parents finishing religious activity in Theresia not so far from Sarinah. I was curious why he didn’t come along, and then from there he started his story.

He told me that he is an agnostic at heart, he decided not to choose to be bound by a certain religion. Moreover if the religion that he should follow is a given one, because of their parents, or simply inherited. Religious view is not an inherited genetic, but in a real life it’s inherited just like a gen.

He believes that religion is not something that can be forced by anybody, not even by a family. Religion is what can be reflected from someone’s belief, their own belief. It is not something that has been practiced and believed by other people and be influenced to us. He hasn’t find the truest religion that he can be dependable into, well… He is now still looking for it.

He said that he always believe in God, or the Supreme being who’s the greatest creator of all these. But one thing for sure, he can’t easily believe in a religion. For him, religion is almost similar to politic.

“When a man has no idea how to rule people, they create a religion to make them scared. To control people’s behaviour. Because long time ago people were so brutal and they scared of nothing as long as they could survive the wild world. They need to be controled. World was the land of the jungle law, the strongest will win over the weak.” He sipped his latte and continued, “until one day a group of wise and clever people established a religion and its rules to control the human’s brutalism. Later those who understand philosophy or most religious one would make a great leader. Take a look at so many kingdoms in a medieval era which used religion to win the leading position as well as to start a war.”

“I mean… Come on… Religion has been abused a lot for a political reason,” he laughed, “I don’t find any truest meaning of following a certain religion… Even though my family is practicing Catholic, gave me a baptist name of a Saint, and got me entering Catholic school. I don’t get it through my blood…”

He said to me “no offense to whatever religion you’re in to…” He has a full respect to all religions, he is just not into it. He said, “Not yet…”

I had no idea to debate him, some of his words are true but it doesn’t instantly affect my belief at all. I’m happy to talk with people who has different ideas, it’s good to see a matter from other’s point of view.

He then asked me, “have you found your religion?” And I nodded and asked him back, “have you found your God?”

“Not yet, but I know He is here…” He pointed to his chest.

“You just need to find the best way to maintain your closeness with Him… Religion gives you the way how. You just need to choose which one suit you well… Because I think all religions in the world have same mission: to love God, human, and take care of this universe. If you find a religion with a mission to launch a gigantic bomb to destroy earth or simply start a war out of nothing, you surely should avoid that one…” I laughed.

“Sure do… Anyway, are you a Christian? You seem like one.”

“I’m a Moslem. A follower of a religion with the biggest scandal, issue, and humiliation from the irresponsible people who claim themselves as a Moslem too… But I always believe the Prophet Muhammad and his Holy Quran never brought an evil message but a good news from God. The good news is that God is so close to me, closer than the artery beneath my skin. He is always there listening to my prayer, and He asks me to pray to Him. He also give us a promise of an eternal heaven for the believer who is practicing Islam in the right path. That’s why I’ve never been shaken to turn over Him. Well… He is my Savior and Islam is my guidance,” I smiled.

“You know what… We really had a good conversation right now…” He laughed.

Some conversation quotes probably have a deviation over the real talk, cause I can’t remember everysingle words in our conversation. But sure I won’t miss the point.

xx

[paperartwriter]

Inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey OST and movie.

[paperartwriter]

[paperartwriter]

Shit happens, but life still fucking goes on. So... move on.

A friend o mine (2014)