paradoxenjoyer

[paradoxenjoyer]

I've noticed we have a strong tendency to explain our absence with lies: "So much has been going on", "Life has been so crazy". But really, we just didn't want to talk to anyone.

We wanted to go away for a while.

I want to stop feeling so guilty for an unshakable need to experience myself in silence. It is everyone's right to go off to think, or even "waste time". It doesn't matter whether I'm building or not building, whether I'm creating or just eating up whatever material interests me at any time.

[paradoxenjoyer]

People don't fully move on from that one ex they pedestalised because now that they've grown, they need the ex to see it. Maybe you've done a lot of self-development; assuming they haven't drastically transformed, you're now a far better match. You've filled every gap. You fantasise about how they'll enjoy this version of you way more. But we often learn a lesson here only to take it somewhere else. We don't get to show off our growth by literally re-experiencing scenarios where we failed ourselves. Not with the same people. We don't get a do-over because we've changed now. Maybe they'll be stuck with an image of us from years ago. Pride is pointless.