The deeper you heal, the higher you raise the bar on who has access to you. And, it's not out of arrogance, it's about protecting the peaceful, calm, drama-free life you've worked so hard to elevate. This new chapter requires you to be less accessible to any type of toxicity.
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"I've seen roses and I've seen you without clothes, all I have to say is that I've never once wanted to pull a rose close.."
You are more beautiful than a rose garden in heaven - eUë
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Getting over it doesn’t mean forgetting it. It just means reducing the pain to a tolerable level, a level that doesn’t destroy you.
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Just because someone tells you what they went through, it doesn’t mean that you know them better than they know themselves. You don’t. I don’t care how close you get with someone. There will always be pieces of ourselves we keep to ourselves.
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No me entiendo, estoy bien, me río y me divierto, pero en el fondo siento un vacío que no desaparece.
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You deserve a calm love with someone who gives you best friend energy, makes you laugh, and never stops flirting with you. someone who learns your love language just to treat you right and make you feel loved properly.
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After everything that’s transpired between us, I‘m left wondering what I am to you now. I can tell you what you are to me. A handful of wasted chances, paused movies we never finished and dinner gone cold. If we never said goodbye, is it ever really over? I hope it is. Because even in the aftermath, in between broken walls, debris and newly formed dreams, I regret you. I regret wanting to talk to all my friends about you while you were making sport of keeping me a secret. When your best friends didn’t know my name and I told my parents about you. Was I no one to you? I was just the one who came over sometimes. The one who rumpled the sheets and fogged up the windows and filled the kitchen with the smell of pasta and tomato sauce. I‘m also the one who waited inside her cold car and spent whole Sundays staring at your contact in her phone, trying to telepathically get you to call. I‘m the girl in the driveway, good enough to stay for the night, but not enough to stay around for your morning coffee. That’s what I was to you - what I am to you, still.
the girl in the driveway / n.j.
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