parkjiminiemouse - Tumblr blog

parkjiminiemouse · 9 months ago

Note

I just saw your account and can I request Tobias x Reader?

Reader is from Erudite and she and Four are the same age. Both of them were top of their class and became trainers. The reader goes by the name 2 sometimes, as a joke. She has a younger sister who also join Dauntless and Reader and Four are just a total power couple. Reader is also Divergent and knows Four’s real name and that he is divergent too. So the day when Tris kissed Four, he moves so she only kisses his cheek. Tris then thinks that Four is shy and likes her. But the next day the reader is very tired from staying up all night helping a kid who was sick, comes and Four kisses her and gives her his jacket. So Tris is really heartbroken since she was the only one who didn’t know about their relationship. Reader and her sister ( who are really close) also hate Tris. Reader is pretty shy and sweet but she has a bitchy face that scares people away a lot.

I hope I am not bothering you… Feel free to tag my name

do you ever think about how tris is really just a y/n in disguise

masterlist

Tris does not know what is coming for her.

Some time in the future, she may be able to look back on all that happened and realize what she never did back then. She’ll connect the dots with far more clarity than she ever could at the time. Hindsight is always easier to understand than the present moment. Tris cannot be held accountable for that, and neither can you.

At the moment that Beatrice Prior became just Tris, your story had already long since begun. She was still in denial back in Abnegation when you made a decision in your own round of the Choosing Ceremony. She would not have been there to see how it all went down, but you were.

Perhaps she heard about what happened through word of mouth. Most new Dauntless come from Dauntless with the exception of a wayward Candor or two that decide the truth is beneath them. You were an exception, then. When Beatrice heard about the sharp-eyed Erudite girl who dashed her blood into Dauntless’ vessel, do you think she thought about it later that night when no one else was watching? Do you think she heard about what you did and realized that she could do it too?

No one will know for sure, none but Tris herself. After what happened, you doubt she would ever be so candid as to let you know. You can guess, though. You can take your time and wonder about what might have gone down in a grayed out faction where a girl heard for the first time that she might be able to have a life outside of endless sacrifice.

There is one story that she most certainly did not hear at the time, however, and this one would hit a little closer to home. At the very moment that Beatrice Prior was wondering what would become of this year’s round of transfers, another boy was making waves by switching to Dauntless. He was Abnegation too, and at the moment that he let his blood plummet into Dauntless’ bowl, he was as good as dead.

Later, Tris will wonder how she didn’t connect Four to the boy she had met before, Tobias Eaton. In truth, it’s because every step was taken to ensure that nobody else would. Marcus Eaton’s son died the moment he got the chance to leave his old life behind. Tobias Eaton was buried in a shallow grave under the cover of night, left to the mercy of scavengers like time and poor memory to make up his legacy. Abnegation did not want its followers to think that escape was an option, so he was covered up.

Perhaps, then, the only one Beatrice heard about was you. Tobias was simply one in the crowd at that point, nameless and utterly without character. Every single facet of him had disappeared the second he chose to step away from Dauntless. The boy standing by your side in the Dauntless section of the Choosing Ceremony was staring at his bleeding palm and wondering whose history he could end next. He was no one, not until he remade himself again upon entering Dauntless.

Regardless of what Beatrice did or did not think of the two of you at that moment, your future was set in stone. You bid Erudite goodbye and ran out of the city center with the rest of the assembled Dauntless once the Choosing Ceremony was over. You had analyzed your decision over and over in the preceding months, so you had no regrets at the moment. All there was to do was run free and wild in the sun, and let your body think that it could do whatever you asked of it.

Like Tris, you also had to leap from the roof and deal with the aftermath of what you found when you fell. Like Tris, your first encounter with the boy who was once called Tobias Eaton and would later be whispered of as Four was life-changing. You were one of the first jumpers, he was one of the second. It was the two of you in an empty hall, lingering by the edge of the net and watching the graduated Dauntless pace back and forth at the edges of the room. The horizons seemed to shift where the black-suited faction lingered to watch, and in the middle of all of it, you found one point of stability.

Four.

You don’t remember what name he gave when he first jumped down, if he even gave a name at all. He didn’t seem to use one until he progressed into the fear landscapes and was able to be rewarded with his famous nickname. Perhaps he had gone by Tobias all that time before then, but if he had, it had never seemed real. Tobias was a prop to be discarded at a moment’s notice. It suited Four no more than the gray cloth still clinging to his back.

In the time to come, you would watch with the same awe as the rest of the faction as Four quickly rose up through the ranks of initiates. Obviously, no Abnegation would ever have a chance to learn how to fight, but that didn’t excuse Four from being uncannily good at it. He knew how to throw a punch from the moment he arrived, although that could have just been from watching someone else do it. Sometimes lessons are learned from watching the imprints of your own bruises flower on your skin.

Dauntless forgave Four of his Abnegation heritage quickly. You doubt most people even remember he once wore gray instead of black. To suggest that cold, deadly Four could ever have been giving or merciful is laughable. Dauntless’ Four is the pride of their faction. He makes no mistakes and he tells no secrets. No one could ask for anything more.

Why, then, would you? Why would you seek him out after that first meeting? Was the fall from the roof not enough of a rush for you, that you had to track down the one person capable of making your head spin? In the end, you suppose you’ll never really know why you chose Four, only that you did and it is the best thing you could have ever done for yourself.

Choosing Four was choosing survival. You were Divergent and so was he. Maybe that’s why everything went so south so quickly. You were never meant to live past discovery. You should have woken up to a gun pointed at your head the moment someone found out that the dots weren’t connecting for why you were here and not in your home faction.

You always thought that the first person to figure you out would have been someone back from Erudite. They were always too damned clever, every single one of you. They delighted in figuring out people’s past mistakes, every single loophole they’d ever tripped. Death knows what they would have done to you had they known.

The only thing that might have saved you also damned you. See, Erudite was as sickly brilliant as a smoking gun, but so in turn were you. You knew the perfect answer to say to every question. You knew what to do in the aptitude test so no one would question you. To any onlooker, every bone of yours seemed to be laid bare, when in reality you hadn’t given a thing away.

It was the only thing you could do, but it was exactly what revealed you. Four knew you were as sharp as a blade, both in violence and in mind, and he knew that no one like you would have ever left Erudite if you didn’t have something to hide. What is the only thing in this world that would ever make you fear discovery? Why, the same thing that made him flee to Dauntless’ shadows as opposed to any other place to hide. Divergence.

He had to be the first one to say it aloud. You would never expose a weakness in yourself unless you had a choice. That was the initial moment in which you finally laid down at least part of your armor. In the weeks to come, you would shed more and more of it, until at last the young woman that you became could be the first one to say ‘I love you’ instead of having it be the other way around. You are not the Y/N that came into Dauntless, and you don’t know that you could ever be her again.

That is the wonderful thing about this faction, what it can do to change you. Beatrice learned this as well, you know. You were there to see it start to happen for the first time. She was just the right sort of ember to fanned into a flame around here, and you let it happen.

You should have known from the moment you saw Beatrice Prior become Tris that she would be a threat to you. Instead, you saw a girl not unlike yourself and you welcomed her with a smile. You had been trying to be more forgiving. That is Four’s worst curse on you.

Perhaps it’s because Tris reminds you of your sister. They’re the same age, they both jumped around the same time. In some better world, perhaps Tris would have turned to your sister for a source of friendship instead of looking to your boyfriend for some sort of comfort. That way, far less troubles would be raised, and perhaps you and Tris could see each other as hesitant friends instead of whatever has become of the two of you now.

The worst part is that you could almost see it happening. You and Tris are damned near identical. Both first jumpers, both Divergent, both fleeing a home that could never be truly yours, and worst of all, both in love with Four. How is Tris any better than you? How are you any worse? She made the exact same choices you did, but because you got there first, you get everything and she gets nothing. It is relentlessly unfair, but that is Dauntless; that is life. Nothing in this world will be yours unless you take it. In her defense, that is exactly what Tris tried to do.

Four told you the first time he suspected she had feelings. You and Four are nothing if not honest with each other. He wanted to let you know that something may happen, partially as a warning and partially also in the hopes of using you as a tool to stave off Tris’ crush. You’re a training instructor alongside Four and Eric, so it wouldn’t be difficult for Four to let you handle Tris instead of trying to teach her himself to encourage some distance.

That’s what you did the first few weeks, at least, but Tris got clever. She really is like you, isn’t she? You can’t possibly hold that against her, but it’s not like you have any other choice. Tris tried too hard to have what she could not. There was no way the two of you could be anything other than enemies. That is what becomes of our doubles, cruel universe; you see yourself in another body and you cannot do anything but despise it.

Four dropped by your place late one night, later than usual. He had a haunted look in his eyes, the sort of guilt you only see on him when he wakes up with a nightmare, muttering the name of a boy long since dead. It wasn’t his fault, he says. He didn’t know what she was trying to do until it was already done.

Here is how it went down, from what Four tells you and what you can pick up from his social cues alone: Tris had been in trouble. Four has always been a savior, he was certainly yours enough times for it to stick in your head. When Four had come across the scene, he would be able to do nothing if not help. Tris had been grateful, both for the rescue and what she took as a final confirmation of Four’s feelings. She had tried to kiss him. He had moved so she only kissed his cheek. Still, it was a touch that was not yours.

What can you do about that? Tris is not going to go away. Even after initiation ends, she will be a strong member of your faction. Obviously, Four doesn’t want this, but how does he put a stop to it? Eventually, the two of you brainstorm a solution, and go to sleep with no more guilt curled up on the inside of each other’s throats.

You’re helping in the medical wing the next day. Tris is there as a check up to make sure that she was alright after last night’s incident. You don’t treat her, as there are enough patients to fill up anyone’s schedule, but Tris is still there to see what happens when Four drops by. In a perfectly orchestrated move, he gives you his jacket the second you shiver and presses a kiss to your lips. It is a neon sign in the dark, she cannot miss it.

And she doesn’t. You can see Tris’ face crumble across the room, and she quickly turns away to hide her surprise and anguish. You had thought that everyone in Dauntless knew about you and Four, but it turns out that is only true now. Tris might have been the last to know, but she’s learned her lesson now. You don’t have the heart to hold it against her.

At the end of the day, how could you? Dauntless trains its soldiers to fight for what they want. It is not Tris’ fault that you already did. She will go about her days with a sinking feeling in her stomach, a bit of blood spilled where her heart had previously been healed, but eventually she will be able to act as if nothing ever happened. Soon enough, it will almost be true. Tris will find a new meaning to fill her days.

How do you know this with such certainty? It is exactly what you would have done.

requested by @sakuraazharuno, i hope you enjoy!

divergent tag list: @rogueanschel, @with-inked-solace, @gods-fools-heroes, @23victoria, @manyfandomsfanvergent

1K notes · View notes

parkjiminiemouse · 1 year ago

Text

June Collection 2024

lace top 01

11 swatches

new mesh

custom thumbnails

HQ compatible

top category

teen - elder

all morphs

thepancake1 slider compatible

lace top 02

12 swatches

new mesh

custom thumbnails

HQ compatible

top category

teen - elder

all morphs

thepancake1 slider compatible

transparent long sleeves 03

26 swatches

new mesh

custom thumbnails

HQ compatible

top category

teen - elder

all morphs

thepancake1 slider compatible

shirt 01

50 swatches

new mesh

custom thumbnails

HQ compatible

top category

teen - elder

all morphs

thepancake1 slider compatible

skirt mini 01

50 swatches

new mesh

custom thumbnails

HQ compatible

bottom category

teen - elder

all morphs

thepancake1 slider compatible

lace pants 01

12 swatches

new mesh

custom thumbnails

HQ compatible

bottom category

teen - elder

all morphs

thepancake1 slider compatible

lace short dress 01

12 swatches

new mesh

custom thumbnails

HQ compatible

fullbody category

teen - elder

all morphs

thepancake1 slider compatible

low waist dress 02

50 swatches

new mesh

custom thumbnails

HQ compatible

fullbody category

teen - elder

all morphs

thepancake1 slider compatible

Download: Early Access at Boosty or Patreon

(Public access in August 5)

6K notes · View notes

parkjiminiemouse · 1 year ago

Note

Crying screaming throwing up

Part 3? It would be fun seeing Jayjo realize your love for him but it's too late😤😌 I really love your stories I really hope you make a part three because when I tell you Jay is an idiot for not noticing

Your wish, I fulfill it. This is for you Anon <;3. [Windbreaker One-Shot; part three of never the One; jay jo x afab reader; season four spoiler; especially chapter 454; Death; Shelly is not with the crew; still in England; Angst; One side love? (Maybe); Thank you for all the support! Enjoy! @queenbubu]

Everything was a mess, and you knew it, Dom knew it, and even TJ knew it. It was a complete disaster. Firstly, Vinny had betrayed you all, driving a knife deep into your hearts, and dismissing every moment you had spent together as nothing but trash. Jay's bike lay in ruins, shattered into countless uncountable pieces. And now, you found yourselves in Japan, surrounded by the Kazuma gang, watching Jay and Dom racing against Kazuma.

Oh, and let's not forget Crew Cavalry, because, why not? As if this mess couldn't use a love triangle to make things even more complicated. It was excruciating, watching Noah lean toward Jay, the two of them whispering about something. It was agonizing to see Noah's gaze linger on Jay for longer than it should, especially because Jay reciprocated the look.

It felt like a punch to the face, as if a knife were twisting in your heart, mercilessly mocking your unrequited love for Jay. It was so painful that it felt as if your heart were throbbing like a physical wound. It became pitiful and painful to keep asking the same question over and over again.

But why couldn't it be you? Why couldn't it be you who captured his attention, heard his voice, felt his love? Why? Please, why?

Mia, Shelly, and now Noah. Mia, the sweet girl; Shelly, England's angel; and now Noah, the breath of fresh air. Mia, Shelly, Noah. Mia, Shelly, Noah.

Not you.

Probably never you.

You would hope that the pain would numb over time, that it would somehow become easier to bear, less… foolish. But instead, it intensified, because with every fleeting moment, you could feel him growing more distant. Far from your reach, and you never had the courage to chase the faint outlines of his face.

You were like a destitute girl, watching others receive lavish gifts while you stood in the rain with nothing. You were the overlooked older sister of the princess, never mentioned because you weren't special, you were a nobody.

You weren't deemed good enough to assist in the race or even when one of Kazuma's goons threw a punch at Jay. You were just the quiet, seemingly useless person on the sidelines. Not even a damsel in distress, just there.

But Jay wasn't. Jay was not useless. Jay was perfect in your eyes. Jay was not going to lose; he would triumph. He was flawless. You didn't care about what others said, the rumors about Jay, his uncle, or the crew. You knew Jay, even though he might not know you the way you wished he would. You knew Jay so well that it made you wince when you saw him crash against the unforgiving sidewalk.

"He will win," you declared without a hint of uncertainty. TJ looked at you in surprise. "But—"

"Jay will win. Jay always wins, even when they think he'll lose." You shot a glare at TJ. "Get out of here. There's no room for lightweights." Your words were sharp, perhaps foolish, because the reason you were all here was that he had lost against Vinny.

But Jay never lost.

He just didn't. Because this match was more than just a race; it was a contest against himself, against Kazuma, Vinny, and Owen. It was a race against every former opponent. This race? He would win.

When I first met Jay, I didn't fall in love. It wasn't love at first sight, not like in the books, TV, or games. He was just another classmate, sitting in the front row, with his books spread out on the table, already diving into the exam material for the next school year. He was a nerd, plain and easy. Nothing more.

But, he was more.

I realized it not even a month later.

It happened when I saw him sitting on a bench, watching other students running around, playing with a ball. His eyes almost seemed to beg to be a part of that scene, to join in the fun and games.

That was the day I fell in love.

We didn't exchange a word, we didn't even look at each other. But the way he longed to be a part of a seemingly silly and straightforward game left me flustered. It was the most genuine expression I had ever seen on him, on anyone.

The next day, I pleaded with the teacher to let me sit in the front because it was too hard to concentrate in the back.

There was no sound that reached your ears, no scream of euphoria had left your throat like it should have. Even when TJ was jumping up and down in happiness after the words left the Kazuma Members parten lips. "K-Kaneshiro...Lost." But you stayed quiet, eyes fixed on Jay, watching him with wide eyes.

something was wrong, Something was wrong.

His body trembled, the strain and exhaustion of the race finally catching up with him. He seemed to fight against the urge to let go. As if he could feel your eyes on him he look up, and it made you gasp. His head was bloody, veins in his eyes red and the moon like eyes blur at the edges, like a photograph fading into obscurity.

Jay gasped for air, his throat closing, but there was nothing but resistance. And you made a shaky step in his direction, hands shaking, unsure that if you touch him he would grumble down.

"J-Jay-?"

In that fleeting moment, he realized his body had betrayed him, and his world descended into numbness. The screams of the crowd's shock and disbelief faded into an eerie silence, But you never have been so clear to him.

Where you always so beautiful? he wonders dizzy. Why are you looking at him so worried? No one had ever looked at him so worried, so shaken about his wellbeing, no one.

Not Mia, Not Shelly.

But you did.

Suddenly, Jay's grip on the handlebars failed him. His fingers, once clenched in determination, opened like fragile petals surrendering to a gust of wind. The bike began to wobble, and he tumbled from it.

"JAY!" You screamed in shock, catching his body before it could fall into the ground.

"Jay!" You exclaimed, your voice laced with a mixture of panic and distress. Gently, you cradled his limp body, desperately trying to keep your composure. His head lolled against your shoulder, blood marring his features, and his moonlit eyes had lost their luster. He wasn't breathing.

"[Name]! What's happening?!" You heard Dom scream from behind you, but you couldn't care about anything right now except for Jay.

With a rush of adrenaline and fear, you carefully laid him on the ground, checking for a pulse. Nothing. Panic threatened to overwhelm you, but you fought it back, knowing you needed to act quickly. "He isn't breathing!" You screamed in fear, not daring to look away to see Dom's, TJ's, or anyone else's reaction. What if you looked away, and Jay faded away too? What if you thought too much, and he died right there and then?

The crowd reluctantly parted as Noah forced her way through, her eyes locked on Jay's lifeless form. She pushed TJ and Dom aside, her voice sharp and urgent. "Move it, idiots! Did he reach the red zone? I think his heart went into shock because of hyperventilation!"

Noah's words jolted everyone into action. TJ quickly looked at you as you desperately searched for a pulse, your fingers trembling as you tried to find a heartbeat. Dom was on his knees, still shaken, watching as you attempted to revive Jay. You faintly heard Momoko calling for an Oxygen Respirator, but there was no time to find one.

"You-You can't go—!" Your trembling hands pressed against Jay's lifeless chest. Each compression felt like raindrops, rhythmic and persistent, attempting to rouse the dormant beat within him. The rain fell around you, its soft patter forming a somber symphony to accompany this impromptu ballet of hope and despair. It was as if you were reading from a tragic fairy tale, a story you never wanted to be part of.

You desired his love, not his death. You wanted Jay, but not like this, not in this lifeless state.

"Come on, Jay," you whispered in a choked voice, your lips forming the words like a desperate prayer. "Don't leave us here in this downpour, drowning in our fears and regrets."

With each compression, you pushed deeper, the weight of your hopes bearing down on the storm within his chest, urging a response from his lifeless heart. Raindrops mingled with your tears as they slid down your face, mixing with the blood on Jay's cheek.

"Think about Shelly," you continued, your voice carrying desperation, pain, fear, and an overwhelming longing. "Think about her, damn it! You told me you love her! You wanted to win her back, didn't you? Think about her!"

He didn't move, didn't respond, didn't react to Shelly's name the way he had for weeks, perhaps even months. And you had never wished for him to react to anything the way you did now.

"If you can't fight for her, then fight for me!" you implored, feeling the rain mingling with your tears. "You mean everything to me! Can't you see it? I need you to be awake! I need you to breathe! Take a damn breath!"

Amid the desperate turmoil of your attempts to bring him back to life, you paused for a fleeting moment. There was a glimmer of hope. Jay's eyelids fluttered ever so faintly, almost imperceptibly. But you noticed.

You had always seen Jay.

Even when he turned his back on you, even when he looked at Mia's sweet smile or Shelly's mint green eyes, you had always seen him.

You leaned down, your trembling lips seeking his, parting to give him every breath you had ever taken. It wasn't the way you had ever wished to kiss him. It was a desperate, passionate, and life-affirming kiss, an urgent plea to bring him back from the brink.

Your lips met his, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. The taste of his lips was intoxicating, a mixture of rain, sweat, and something uniquely Jay. You had often fantasized about the taste of his lips, but never in circumstances as dire as this.

As you kissed him, you whispered something against his lips, your words an unspoken promise of love and hope. "Jay," you murmured, your voice a breathy sigh, "I love you, okay? I love you so fucking much that I could have killed myself when I saw you loving Mia and Shelly. And I don't care if you ever love me back...but please...breath..."

You could feel the raindrops and tears mingling on your cheeks, the world around you fading as you focused solely on the life you were fighting to save.

"I love you, Jay," you whispered against his lips between compressions, the words carrying the weight of your feelings, your hopes, and your dreams. "You can't leave me here alone. Please, come back to me."

The seconds felt like an eternity, each one stretching as you fought for him. And then, something changed. Beneath your hands, you felt a faint movement, a subtle rise and fall of his chest. It was almost imperceptible, but it was there—a sign that he was fighting his way back to you.

Your heart soared with a mixture of relief and hope as you pressed harder, willing him to breathe, to return to you. "That's it, Jay," you encouraged, tears streaming down your face, blending with the rain. "Come on, fight. Breathe."

You continued the compressions, every muscle in your body devoted to bringing him back. And then, a miraculous gasp filled the air, the sweet sound of life being reclaimed. Jay was breathing.

He took another ragged breath, his eyes fluttering open. The clarity returned to his gaze, and for a moment, he looked at you as if seeing you for the first time. His lips moved weakly, forming your name in a whispered exhale.

"[Name]..."

"Hey..." you sobbed, your voice shaking with the remnants of fear and despair. "Hey, Jay..."

His gaze fixed on you, and it felt as if the world had returned to its rightful place. Jay's lips quivered as he tried to speak, to reassure you that he was indeed back.

Weakly, Jay raised his hand, his fingertips trembling as he brushed away a tear from your cheek. Concern flickered in his eyes as he whispered, voice strained and raspy, "Why... why are you crying?"

You managed a choked laugh, a mix of joy and relief bubbling up within you. "I'm not crying Idiot," you lied, tears of happiness streaming down your face. "It's just the rain."

"You always...have been a liar about your feelings..." He said raspy, finger tip brushing the tears away. Did you always had this look on your face? Like you have...everything right with you?

"I am...I am pretty liar right? B-But I am your liar..."

"Mine..." Jay whispered before allowing sleep to take over his body, knowing that it was you who was with him.

And to be honest.

He would rather be yours, than Mia's, Shelly's or Noah's.

I need to do part four because I have a really sweet idea.

328 notes · View notes

parkjiminiemouse · 1 year ago

Text

The Reason Why You Love Him

An Akaashi Keiji (Haikyuu) x Reader Oneshot

A one-shot of your relationship with Akaashi - and everything that came with it.

This fic includes: Gender Neutral Reader, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Themes, Mild Cursing, Self-starvation,

Word Count: 11k Words

Enjoy!

THE REASON WHY YOU LOVE HIM

Maybe it's the way he smiled.

When Akashi Keiji smiles, it’s in a soft way - his lips turn up, cheeks rising a little. When he smiles, the people around who see him blushes, for who has ever seen a sight so beautiful?

But when Akaashi Keiji smiles, it’s warm. His mouth curls upwards, his eyes turning to crescents as they smile, too. His lips part to show a bit of his teeth, while gentle pinks seem to bloom at his cheeks. Sometimes, he laughs shortly after, a sound deep from his throat, melodious and comforting.

The first time Akaashi Keiji smiled at you, it was the day you first met.

He sat right next to you, neat and composed as the other students came filing in. It's the first day of school and you thank the heavens the person you are seated with looks gorgeous and smart.

You were the first to speak.

"Hello." Your voice is quiet, almost shy, a part of you is afraid he won't reply. His head rose and he turned to look at you.

He replied, “Hello.”

You fumble with your greetings and introduction, your own name stumbles out of your lips - there is something about him that has made you a little tongue-tied. When he smiles and gives you his name, your brain is quick to repeat it a second, third, fourth, fifth time. “My name is Akaashi Keiji,” He said, “I hope we get along.”

He smiles. It is the first time you feel your heart skip a beat.

“I’m sure we will.” You respond with a smile.

Maybe it’s his kindness, even if it feels a little limited at times.

Akaashi Keiji knows how to give - all within reason, of course.

He’s the type to lend an eraser or a pencil, but only if it’s the extra.

“Akaashi… can I borrow your pencil?” You asked quietly, leaning to his direction. He looks at you for a brief second, before he turns and opens his pencil case. Soon enough, he’s handing you a pencil,

And when he handed it towards you, your skin buzzed for a second when the two of you touched, even if it was only for a moment. “I’ll return it after class.” You said, he only nods. When you turn away, there’s a thrum beneath your skin and the pencil lended to you feels like gold.

He’s the type to share his book with you, but makes no move to adjust.

So you move your seat closer to his, peering into his open book as you take note of the lesson. Akaashi is kind enough to wait for you to finish taking notes before turning the page, his own hands working quickly to paste translucent sticky notes along the important details. He has an entire pack of it by his side, scribbling more information on the spaces in between.

Akaashi is kind enough to help you study between classes or to help you clear up confusing lessons.

“Factor them, so you can get rid of some of the components.” Akaashi murmurs, writing on your paper to show you. “Like this.” He said softly, patiently. You nod along as he said, “Okay, now you cancel both the (x+1) on the denominator and numerator.” You follow his instructions, calmed by his patience to teach.

“It’ll be easier for you if you memorize the formulas and such. During the quiz, you’ll probably have no time to keep on doing things manually.” He said.

You laugh sheepishly, “I’ll try… you’ll still help me, right?”

“I can help you study.” He said with finality.

The day of the exam, you lean towards him a little, but before you can even ask for his help, his arm has already covered his answers. He raises an eyebrow at you, which makes you turn back to your own paper.

And yet, when you sulk afterwards, he gives you a small carton of banana milk, though he bumps it on your forehead first before he sets it down.

If not, then maybe it’s his voice.

Because when Akaashi Keiji spoke, he spoke smoothly, he did not stutter nor show signs of doubt. It’s one of the reasons why people like him so much.

You look up at him from your seat, watching him stand as he was called on by the teacher. Akaashi opens his book, beautiful eyes finding where the last reader left off, before he starts to speak. His english is a little heavy, yet flows well as he reads the part of the poem assigned to him.

He distracts you enough that you do not realize when the poem has ended and where your daydreaming began.

Akaashi looks at you, blinking before turning away.

If you weren’t called to read the next part, maybe you would’ve paid more attention and saw how he too, stared as you spoke, soft pink rising up his neck.

And if it’s still not that, then maybe it’s because of his presence alone.

Akaashi sits silently to the side, eating a rice ball as he reads a book. All around you, your friends babble on and on about a new cafe that opened just down the street, a few blocks away from your school.

You’re about to say that you want to go to the aquarium instead, when the others started to gush all about the food that they want to try out in the new cafe. “Are you okay with going to the cafe?” They asked you, simultaneously turning their heads towards your direction.

Your throat constricts a little, as if your heart has jumped to your tongue. It takes you a second before you say, “Yeah… sure.”

“Alright, this Saturday, then!” They grinned.

They leave soon after the bell rings, leaving you fiddling with your hands, budgeting everything in your mind. You sighed, when you turned back to the side, Akaashi was looking at you. “Oh, sorry. Were we too loud?” You asked.

“Why didn’t you tell them?” He asked.

Your eyebrows furrow, “Tell them what?”

“That you didn’t want to go to the cafe.” He said simply.

You tense up under his gaze so much that “What?” Is the only thing that you can utter.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear.” He smiled.

You shake your head, “No, no- but… how did you know?”

Akaashi Keiji’s reply is simple, “Your tone was different. When you really agree to something, you sound much happier than that.” When you don’t reply and only stare back, Akaashi blinks before taking it as a sign that the conversation is over. He turns back to his book, finishing his rice ball as he flipped to another page.

A part of you wants to end it at that, but the other, more impulsive part is quick to ask - “Then, would you like to go to the aquarium with me?”

Akaashi stared for a moment, before he smiled and said, “Sure.”

That was what led to this, to walking under glass-kept waters, where above you both, schools of fish swimming away from sharks, the mutterings of other visitors reaching your ears as they talked.

You try to remember all the fish facts you read up online - maybe it will impress him, maybe it will make him talk more. You go on and on and on. Akaashi only nods along. There is a pang in your heart and you feel your hands tremble.

You try again, you start to ask questions.

“What’s your favorite fish?” You asked, by now, you’ve forgotten that you’re here to look at the animals, not fumble over words as you desperately try to make conversation. Akaashi shrugs - he doesn’t have one.

You try again.

“Have you been to an aquarium before?” Yes.

“When?” When I was 10, I came with my family.

“Did you like it?” Not much.

You spew out questions until you’ve run out of breath trying to get rid of the silence. So you ask a question you don’t like asking.

“I’m sorry, am I annoying you?” You asked. You dread the answer he will give - what if he found you boring, or noisy, or selfish, or a know-it-all, what if he hates you? What if he regrets coming here?

Akaashi responds with a small shake of his head, “You’re not.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to fill the silence-” You said again, you don’t believe that you’re not. Because you’ve heard that before. “I just-” You hate yourself for stuttering, “I just don’t want this to be boring.”

“You don’t have to force yourself to talk.” Akaashi said, blinking seriously and offering you a small smile. “I enjoy your company as is.”

Akaashi walks beside you - he is silent. Yet, for the first time, the silence doesn’t bother you.

And oh. There is comfort in his silence.

Where others’ felt tense and frustrating, Akaashi’s silence felt normal. His presence does not leave with the sound of his voice, no, instead, it only seems to solidify - because Akaashi Keiji doesn’t need to speak to say that he’s there.

The two of you end up in front of a couple stingrays, you can’t help but put your hands against the glass, marveling at the way they glide through the water. One of them swooped upwards and you can’t help but giggle at the seemingly smiling face of the animal. Your eyes followed it as it swam around.

When you turn back to Akaashi, he is smiling. “You finally look happy.” He said.

A dark blush rose from your neck - you don’t know if he knew how his words have affected you, or if he even knows how he sounded but you don’t speak of it. You simply bask in the moment, part of you registers this as a date, but the more rational part of you labeled it as platonic. You decide to ignore them both, instead, you simply walk with him along the lit path of the dark aquarium. All around you are silhouettes of other people, a thousand buzzing voices tuned out by Akaashi’s presence.

He, alone, is enough to draw your attention even as he did nothing to get it.

Soon enough, you stood by the edge of a dolphin show, watching with wonder as trainers guide and instruct three dolphins to play around. You don’t mind the way that the water splashes on your new outfit, nor the noise of the other visitors. Beside you, Akaashi watches, as well.

One of the dolphins practically flies out of the water, making you slap his arm excitedly as you point towards it. Akaashi only chuckles - he doesn’t mind the way that you’re acting, letting you do as you wish.

And when the show is over and the dolphins swim freely, Akaashi is the one who holds you back from touching them when they get close - when you pout at him he only says, “It’s unpredictable.”

You’re quick to get over it, going over instead to a penguin enclosure, where workers come and let you feed the penguins. You’re quick to wear the gloves, throwing fish just a few feet from where you both were, watching in amazement as the penguins waddle and swarm at the food. You look over to grin at him, “Can you take a picture?”

Akaashi nodded, pulling out his phone to capture pictures of you and your antics around the aquarium. Soon, you both end up under glass again, looking up at the fish that swim by.

“Look! It’s a hammerhead shark!” You smiled, watching it swim up above you both.

Suddenly, you feel his hand close over yours, he pulls you away from a group of visitors you were about to collide with. “Ah, sorry.” You smiled sheepishly at them. When they’re gone, you thank Akaashi, who only nodded.

You don’t comment on it when he keeps on holding your hand - why would you?

As you look around and take your own pictures, Akaashi is the one who tugs you in a certain direction to avoid you getting in an accident. Your mind is aware of your surroundings - after the first time, your brain becomes more alert in order to not embarrass yourself and yet, you let him. You let Akaashi hold your hand, directing you where to go even if you knew it.

A part of you warms at the amount of care the simple gesture showed.

The time to leave comes, but instead of parting ways, you let him walk the both of you to a small cafe near the aquarium. You don’t mind that as he does, his hands still keep themselves intertwined with yours

Your skin flushes at each squeeze or tug of his concern.

He squeezes your hand by the crosswalk just as the lights turn red and the cars stop, holding your hand in a hold that is secure, yet comfortable - he didn’t hold your hand like the bruising grip of your parents, or the loose grip of your laughing friends. He held your hand. He held your hand.

He opens the door for you when you get there, letting you sit as he leaves to get your orders. It is then that he leaves your hand unoccupied. And when he went away, you clutch your hand to your chest.

Akaashi Keiji holds your hand once and your heart thrums in his name.

No? His care, then.

After all, it was Akaashi Keiji who cared enough about you to ask where you were when you were absent in school. "Are you okay?" He asked over the phone.

You sniffle, the cold has lessened but the ache in your body remained, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little bit under the weather."

After school hours, you are surprised to see multiple notifications of texts from him. When you open them, you giggle at the sight of photographs of his notes (thoughtfully separated by subject) and a text listing a to-do list of things you need to catch up on.

You smile and text him, 'Thank you :D'

Your phone dings. He replies, 'You're welcome.'

Still no? Then maybe his passion.

Akaashi Keiji's passion burns silently. It's there, but it doesn't spread like a wildfire. Instead, it's a well-kept flame that never dies.

You step into the gym, looking around curiously.

You sit by the benches, the sight of volleyball and players aren't new but this sight of Akaashi is. Akaashi's gentle hands seem a little more aggressive in court. His eyes seemed a little sharper and calculative as he made quick judgments of who to set to and how to fool the enemy into making a mistake.

You're completely taken by the sight of it.

Akaashi doesn't scream out motivation to his teammates, but his actions are loud enough. You can barely keep yourself seated, the Bento box you spent hours making feel heavier in your hands.

A whistle blows as both teams breathe heavily. Your heart sinks when you see Akaashi's team panting as the other team celebrates.

Akaashi walks off at the same time as the others do.

You're quick to stand and go after him. When you catch up, he's scowling slightly in front of a vending machine, watching the drink drop. It melts away at the first sound of your footsteps.

He turns his head and looks at you when you call out to him. You fumble with your words, "Uhm- thank you for the notes. I, uh, made this for you." You said, extending the Bento Box towards him.

He takes it hesitantly. "You didn't have to."

You respond, "I wanted to."

You walk with him to the cafeteria, where you both sit down to start eating.

"Are you okay?" You ask. It feels a little awkward.

Akaashi looks at you, "Of course." The tight grip he has on his chopsticks is enough to let you know how he truly felt.

You watch him carefully, trying to see if he liked it.

He doesn't show his emotions obviously but you see the small jump on his eyebrow when he ate the egg rolls you made, or the light, quick purse of his lips when he sees the slightly burnt sausages. "If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it." You said.

Akaashi Keiji stares at you as he puts another sausage in his mouth.

You fiddle with your fingers, that is when he asked, "Did you get hurt while making this?" You look down at your bandaged fingers and quickly hide them under the table.

"No?" You said, flinching when it comes as a question instead of a statement.

Akashi blinks. You relent. "Fine. Yes I did."

He sighed but didn't say anything else.

And yet, before lunch break ended, Akaashi sat by you, changing your sloppily applied bandages with new ones. "You have to disinfect the cuts first before you bandage them." He reminds you, "And next time, be more careful."

When he's done, he places another carton of banana milk into your hands, "Here, it'll make you feel better."

By the time school is over, your eyes wander to see where Akaashi might've gone. You ask around, no one really knows either - this is why you hated Thursdays, because Thursdays meant having only one morning class with Akaashi. You text him, waiting for a reply as your feet continue to wander.

He does not reply.

Finally, you end up by the gym. You jump slightly at the sound of balls hitting the ground. When you step inside, you see Akaashi, standing only a few feet away from the net, setting for people who weren't there.

"Akaashi?"

Your voice breaks his concentration, making him tense. He caught the ball in his hands, looking over to you, asking what you needed.

You asked him, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he replied. A part of you knew that he wasn't.

So you walk in, false confidence draped on your shoulders as you asked, "Do you want help?"

Akaashi is hesitant, but he accepts.

Soon, you are throwing balls in his direction, his body moving almost on autopilot as he keeps on setting again and again and again. By the time you're both done, the sun begins to threaten that it will leave entirely, giving you only minutes of sunlight before the two of you finally make your way out.

"I'll walk you home," he said.

You shake your head. Though the two of you go towards the same initial direction, you know that when you reach the third intersection, you'd have to part. His house is to the left of the third intersection, yours is to the right of the fifth. If he goes to yours, he'd have to walk for thirty minutes more and you knew he was tired. You knew he was slowly burning out.

So you said, "You don't have to."

He replied, "I want to."

You couldn't find it in yourself to say no to that.

The two of you stop by a small shop.

You buy him strawberry milk the same time he bought you banana milk.

So maybe you don't hate Thursdays as much anymore. Because now, Thursdays meant late volleyball with Akaashi, followed by a night walk and banana milk.

Ah. When did you start liking banana milk?

Maybe it's all of the above.

Before you knew it, you only have a year left before college comes so you stand beneath a cherry blossom tree, cursing under your breath because fuck, this is so cliche.

It’s spring and everything is blooming - everyone is confessing. It feels so stupid to do the same but your heart is thumping like crazy and everything else feels irrelevant. Who cares if it’s cliche? Who cares if it’s been done before? Who cares if it’s obvious?

It’s your feelings and you have the right to do with it as you wish so when Akaashi comes into view, everything melts away. Suddenly, it’s just him and you under a cherry blossom tree.

You know that he knows - after all, how could he not?

And yet, you still spit it out, the words that feel so big on your tongue. “I like you.” You said, screwing your eyes shut as you try to ask your heart to calm down because if not, you might just pass out right then and there. “I like you so much.” You breathe, your lungs stagger and ache as you try to take in oxygen.

Akaashi Keiji replies. “Why?” You open your eyes, it’s then that you see the cards of pinks and glitters tucked crumpled on his pockets, and the plastic bag of chocolates he was holding. Ah. There were those that came before you.

You stammer - you didn’t think of a poem to tell him how much you like him or a beautiful metaphor that illustrates how you feel. “I-” You stumble over your words, “I just- I just like you.”

“When I’m with you, I’m comfortable and I feel accepted and I haven’t felt this way before.” You said, you feel all tongue-tied again, as if each syllable is stuck in your throat and you have to force them out each time. “I love your silence, when I’m with you I don’t feel pressured to be someone I’m not and I… I appreciate the way you treat and care for me.”

Your answer is all over the place, if you knew, you would have memorized an essay that answered him fluently and properly, you would construct a message that had clear points, you wouldn’t stutter or doubt if your message is coming through. If you knew he would ask ‘Why?’, you would have written a thousand words to tell him why you liked him but you didn’t.

So you conjure all the ways you liked him - “I like it when we touch, because your hands feel warm and soft and when you held my hand that day we went to the aquarium, I couldn't help but want you to keep on holding on to me. I’m jealous of all the girls who had the courage to confess to you before me- I envy their strength to look you in the eyes and tell you ‘I like you’ because I’m confessing to you right now but I can’t look you in the eyes because I’m embarrassed and I feel underprepared.” You spoke quickly, looking down on the ground as you gripped the box of homemade cupcakes you baked for him specifically for today.

“I want to give you something better because now I see what the others gave and it’s all so expensive but I- I don’t have enough money to afford that much and I never really had a talent for writing heartfelt letters because they all end up cheesy but I- I wanted to do it for you. So instead, I made you cupcakes! But I don’t think you’ll like them because- because it’s my first time making cupcakes of this flavor because I know you like this but I’ve never made it before but I wanted to make it for you but Akaashi I’m so nervous that I’m speaking the first thing that comes in my mind. So please, if you’re going to reject me, please just reject me already-” You were going to look up to look him in the eyes when he cut you off.

“May I kiss you?” He asked softly.

His words are enough to make your brain short-circuit.

“What?” You asked - you must have heard him wrong.

Akaashi repeats his question, “May I kiss you?”

You stammer - what even is there to say? You respond a little quicker, tongue tripping on words, "Y-yes!"

Akaashi Keiji leans in, you freeze. His hands cupped both sides of your cheeks, you have a second to register how he drops the plastic bag filled with chocolate treats. You have another to panic about whether or not your breath smells good and whether or not you should open your mouth or keep it closed.

Akaashi Keij kisses you under a cherry blossom tree and shit, it's fucking cliche but you love it - because that moment, that fraction in time is strictly just yours and his. It didn't matter that this was probably done before, that multiple students have probably kissed under the same tree… what mattered is that Akaashi Keiji's lips are on your own and your first kiss tastes like chocolates and lip balm.

Akaashi pulls away, you finally dare to look at him and your heart skips a beat at the sight of his flushed cheeks and the way his breaths seem labored. He is just as breathless as you are.

His hands are still holding your cheeks.

You feel them tremble against your skin.

Before anything else could happen, impulsivity pushes you to pull him in again by the collar of his uniform. Until his lips are flush against yours for the second time because once is not enough.

Your grip on his clothes tighten.

Ah, you're probably going to buy chocolate-flavored lip balm soon.

Maybe it's something entirely different.

Being with Akaashi means a good morning text by the time you wake up and a goodnight text before you sleep. The sight of it is enough to make you kick your feet in the air, heart acting like drums as they beat against your hollowed ribs.

Being with Akaashi means little study dates in the library, tucked in some corner where no one will interrupt you both. He leaned towards you, voice patient when he said, “Now you have to convert it to moles.” He nods along when you do it correctly, but is quick to correct you when you get it wrong. And in turn, you help him review for tests you knew he could do on his own.

“But I want to do this with you.” He said, when you mention that he can probably review this by himself. Akaashi stares at you. As you stare into his blue eyes, you realize that it’s really easy to fall a little deeper, until you’re neck deep and your heart swells.

You smile. “Okay… let’s continue then.”

You remember that the first time the two of you decided to go on a real, official date, it’s in a botanical garden. The coming of Spring has driven the both of you to visit one. That is what gets you on a train going to Kyoto, your lips curved into a smile as you show him the destination - Kyoto Botanical Garden. You’ve already told him about this, knowing that he would appreciate having the chance to make a loose plan the two of you can follow to make the most of the day.

Akaashi doesn’t say much, he only says that he’s looking forward to it, as well. A part of you is nervous that he’s pretending - ah, maybe this is an elaborate prank and Akaashi Keiji is much more cruel than you think - but before you can overthink it any further, Akaashi clamps his hand on top of yours, intertwining them securely.

You lean on his shoulder.

Akaashi tenses.

Immediately, you move to pull away, only to have his unoccupied hand pat your head, gently guiding it back on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs softly, “it’s my first time being like this, so I didn’t expect it.”

“Oh… it’s fine.” You smile to yourself, giving his hand a little squeeze.

The world falls silent. You think to yourself, ah, could this get any better?

Akaashi turns and places a soft kiss on top of your head and you think - yes, yes it can.

The two of you arrive at the garden at exactly 11:07 AM. The moment you do, you find a good place to snap a picture of both of your shoes. It’s followed by a selfie near the gates, making you glad that you brought your selfie stick along.

Akaashi steps close to you as the two of you pose for the picture, his hand finding your waist as natural as the leaves falling from nearby trees. And perhaps a part of you falls along with them as you feel his hold. You’re quick to take pictures, walking around and talking with him as you did.

Your feet lead you to the Rhododendron Garden. You feel your breath taken away by the sight of the flowers. You lead him nearer, taking pictures of the pink, red, and orange flowers. Akaashi’s hands are the ones who stop you from touching them.

“They can cause skin irritation.” He says simply.

You turn to him. “How did you know?”

He looks back towards you, “Research.”

A soft chuckle leaves your lips and you tease him, “Wow, I didn’t know you were such a nerd.” You stuck your tongue out to him playfully, making him huff a little. “Was it for an assignment? Or a project?”

“No.” He answered, holding your hands again.

“Then for what?” You smiled.

“For you.” He murmurs. “Plants and flowers are beautiful, yes, but I didn’t want to risk you getting harmed if you accidentally touch or eat one.”

“Eat one?” You asked. “You think I would eat a flower?”

“...yes.” He said, almost slowly as his eyes flicked to the side for a moment before his sight trails back to you. “I simply want to keep you safe and sound-” His explanation is cut off by the sound of your laugh, loud and kind of boisterous. He looked dumbstruck - a part of him had expected you to get offended… a part of him did not realize your laugh sounded this beautiful.

“Fine, whatever.” You chuckle, trying to brush it off and ignore the blush that has risen to your cheeks. “Whatever you say, I guess.” And if you hold his hand a little tighter, Akaashi speaks nothing of it. Instead, he gives your hand a small squeeze.

You venture towards the Rose Gardens, past a section of the Botanical which was fashioned to look European. You bend down a little, taking photographs of the flowers. "They're beautiful." You smile, eyes following the way they sway in the wind.

You don't see the way he looks at you - you are far too distracted by the roses to see it.

He says, "Yes, they are."

His gaze burns.

You end up walking along the central lawn, walking into a homey cafe as Akaashi holds your hand. “Lunch first, then we go to…” You scroll along your phone, where you have a map of the place saved. "The Japanese Gardens, right?”

Akaashi nods as the two of you set down your things. You sit in front of each other, quickly deciding on what you’ll get. Soon, he leaves you to get your orders, you stay seated, waiting patiently. When he gets back, he carefully places your Udon Noodle Soup in front of you, followed by a glass of water. On his side, he places a bowl of Katsudon. Followed by this is a plate of gyoza, which came with a small container for the sauce.

He smiles, “Be sure to eat well.” You can only nod as the two of you start eating, hands gripping your chopsticks securely. Somewhere in the middle, Akaashi catches you giving small glances towards his Katsudon, without hesitation, he picks up a piece and extends his hand out towards you. “It’s tasty, try it.”

You hesitate, before deciding to eat it. You lean in, taking it from his chopsticks and chewing slowly, nodding as he asked if you liked it. Your eyes meet. You are still leaning in a little and as if impulsivity possessed you, you decide to rise a little, meeting his lips with your own - and somehow, his Katsudon tastes a little better when it comes from his lips.

Akaashi chuckles, looking away a little as a soft blush rose from his neck.

The two of you eat quietly after that, stealing glances, sharing portions of your food as the two of you take a quick rest from walking. Deciding to take your time finishing the portion of gyoza left, Akaashi rose from his seat, taking the one beside you, instead. You spend the rest of that time talking softly, laughing and taking cute little pictures. You take a note to make a scrapbook soon - it’s the first time you’ve ever felt like this and every single part of you longs to simply capture this very moment and live in it forever.

The two of you leave soon after, making your way towards the Japanese Gardens.

He holds your hand as you walk, his fingers slotting between your own and you can’t help but wish that moments like these lasted for eternity.

Akaashi walks you home after your date. He leans towards you, gently pushing his lips against yours. When he pulls back, you have to blink multiple times to get back to your proper senses. He gives you a small, transparent box. You look up and take it from his hands, carefully holding the box as you gazed at the potted, succulent plant inside the box.

“I bought it for you while you were away for a bit.” He said, “I hope you take care of it.”

“Of course I will.” You smiled. “Thank you, ‘kaashi.”

Akaashi smiles, kissing you again, just as soft as the last time. “You’re always welcome. Let’s do this again soon.” He said after pulling away. You nodded, making him smile a little wider. “Goodnight.” He said, followed by a sweet, soft murmur of your name - and it was as if each syllable became priceless when he said them.

“Goodnight, Akaashi.” You smile.

He's so easy to love, isn't he?

Akaashi Keiji shares one of his earphones with you while the two of you sit next to each other. The first song he plays is always a love song, followed by whatever song is next on the playlist. You actually have your own playlist with him, titled 'A Dream Come True', each song was the answer to a question, making you chuckle as you began to compare and contrast your tastes in music. It's a bit cliche, but it's true, isn't it?

Akaashi Keiji always makes sure you're prepared for tests - because he knows that sometimes, you run low on motivation. So he brings you an energy drink, maybe a cup of coffee, sometimes even a whole meal. He stays up with you when you study your lessons, helping you out when you need it.

“Here,” he said, quietly as you both sat in your room, “I usually dissuade you from drinking these but I know you need it.” He sighed as he handed you the energy drink. He sits beside you, opening his notebook as he studies beside you again. As you drink, you take it upon yourself to hold his left hand, watching him scribble notes and make neat markings on the book he was reading.

Akaashi simply squeezes your hand lightly as he did, giving you brief glances when you move around before putting his attention back to studying.

Akaashi Keiji cooks with you. When you hit your first anniversary, he took it upon himself to invite you to his house while his family was away. There, the two of you spent the day making ramen from scratch.

He stands beside you as you massaged the dough, cutting up vegetables and pork as you did. Soon enough, you’re splitting the mass of dough, laughing as you both struggled a little to split it evenly. “If you end up with more noodles than me, I’m stealing your bowl.” You laughed, making him shake his head with a smile as he brought the bowl of flour closer.

You both start making sheets made up of the dough, folding and dusting it with flour before beginning to cut it to make noodles. "You're not cutting it evenly." He chuckled, looking up from his own noodles, which you saw were cut evenly.

"Whatever, perfectionist." You roll your eyes, though you do give a little more effort in evenly cutting them.

It doesn’t take long before you’re sitting next to him, assembling your ramen carefully. "Hey! That's my portion!" You gasp, stealing the piece of meat from him and hitting his hand lightly as he laughed. You place it carefully on top of your noodles, smiling as it all comes together.

He places a small container of chili powder near you, "Here, I know you like it spicy."

You smile, leaning in to kiss him briefly. "Thanks, you know me so well." He chuckled, watching you carefully sprinkle in some.

He puts your bowls next to each other, carefully placing chopsticks on top of neatly folded tissues. "Let's take a picture." He murmured. You snap quick pictures - both of the food and of each other - putting it into the gallery collection labeled as '1st Anniversary'.

You start eating in the living room, opening the television and putting on a movie as you eat together.

He just feels perfect, doesn’t he?

It's been four years since then, college has come, and it threatens to split you apart.

"I can't this week," he said - how many times has it been?

You purse your lips, hand tightening your grip on the phone, "Again?" The question slips out of your lips like the falling of droplets. Small. Quick. Almost unheard. "You promised you'd come with me this time." A part of you is quick to give up - the Museum will open up again, don’t worry, don't worry - but the rest is starting to scurry away from him and your hands have started to ache as you hold onto strings that kept you together.

"I'm sorry," how many times have you heard that before?, "But this is a very important project, I can't risk passing it late."

More important than me? You almost bit back, more important than our 4th anniversary? You do not say it. You cannot. So you keep your true thoughts locked in the darkness of your mind and you say to him, "Yeah. Okay. Sure. We'll reschedule, then?"

"Yes, I'm really sorry-" you cut him off before he can speak your name, you knew that if he did, you would crumble and break and from the way you see it, Akaashi cannot risk being distracted by anything… by anyone.

It is the first time you ever missed an anniversary.

"It's okay." You said. You grip the phone a little tighter. You stare almost blankly at your computer screen. The phone call ends before you realize - you both do not say I love you anymore, the phrase has gone foreign on your tongue, like an unknown language you hear for the first time. And even your ears, which used to translate his playlists to that phrase; or your skin which used to shiver and recognize his touch as his way of saying it; or your lips which smile at the taste of his unspoken words - they neither hear, feel, nor taste it anymore.

You place your phone away from sight. You do not wish to see it.

A vain feeling of burning grief rises from the embers of a broken heart - it threatens to choke you and leave your throat bruised and burnt from its touch. You almost want to beg for it to do so. You have a feeling that it would feel much better than this.

Loneliness. Your mind labeled the feeling - the emotion born from being alone; the feeling of being abandoned.

Your eyes trail to your computer screen. There, the sight of him makes your gut curl and tie in knots, the Akaashi you knew from two years ago smiles at you. The dimple on his cheek stays the same, so does the ruffle of his dark hair and the clearness of his blue eyes - the Akaashi you knew has gone static.

Akaashi is smiling, wearing the outfit he wore during one of your dates in an art gallery - a simple, beige cardigan and loose pants, his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. The sight of him from your computer screen looked so real it coaxes tears out of your eyes. Your dislike of drawing realism is dwarfed when it is him you draw. For how can it ever go against the love you have for him which always seems to overflow onto the spaces of your hollowed ribs?

It has been too long since you last saw each other and clumsy phone calls between classes or before you both go to sleep is not enough.

It is as if life has stolen him from you and dangles his image far from your reach yet close to your eyes - you see him in the darkness behind your eyelids, there, he has the chance to let you lay your head on his shoulder, the taste of banana milk sweet on your tongues, his hand holds yours and you are warm. So warm that you melt into his arms but now, in the cold and in the darkness of your dorm room, you are running a fever and your soul, which yearns for him screams his name but he does not respond in kind.

Instead, he says I'm sorry.

Oh how you've begun to despise that phrase.

You are left there on your bed, curled and crying and despising your reaction because at this point, you should have gotten used to it.

How many times has he left you like this, unknowing that it was a time you needed him most?

But then again… what did you expect?

The two of you have aged, you do not live just thirty minutes away anymore, instead, he lives two cities over, attending his dream college as you attend yours. You both chose this, saying that it will work, saying that you will make it work - but that did not last long.

Somewhere near the end of first year, your weekend dates have been forgotten; by the second, even scheduled dates are canceled and rescheduled, only to get canceled again. Now here, on your third, phone calls are filled with I miss you yet followed by I'm sorry. A part of you hates him for saying that, yet hates you more for sometimes doing the same.

It is as if life is determined to keep you apart, the same way fate strung you together, making you live half an hour apart from childhood to your teenage years yet never letting you meet until highschool - but ah. What if you two were never truly built to last?

Your nails dig into your skin, threatening to break into it and make you bleed. How many times have you done this to yourself? Hugging your knees to your chest, asking where it went wrong. You both tried didn't you? You both wanted this to work, didn't you?

Oh. What if everything is going wrong because you are the only one who wants this now?

You think. You think. You think.

What if, behind the closed phone screen, after the hung up calls and quick goodbyes, someone else wraps their arms around his shoulders like you used to. And it is them that whisper comfort in his ears and what if he is only waiting for the right way, for the right time to end it?

What if, when he says “I’m sorry”, he is only waiting for you to realize the silent goodbyes that follow that phrase?

Akaashi wouldn't do that to you… right?

You bite your lip, a part of you tries to pull you back but it cannot. You sink. In this falling, there is only darkness - you cannot envision Akaashi to be there to catch you, why hope that he will when you know that he is not there?

But you trust him, don't you?

And you love him, don't you?

You feel paralyzed on your bed, unable to move and unable to think of things other than the fact that he is not there. You felt as if you were going crazy.

Your roommates have come and go to tell you to eat, but your lips only move to give a half-hearted excuse that you aren’t hungry yet - in truth, you have no appetite at all, even as your stomach churns and eats itself from the inside.

There’s a knock on your door. A part of you wishes it is him. The rest know it’s not.

It’s your roommate, they tell you that you should eat soon, it's late and you shouldn't skip dinner. "I know you're on a diet," they said, "but you haven't eaten properly in weeks. I don't want you to get sick, okay? Please eat dinner soon."

"I will." You respond - you will not. You hear their footsteps retreat, making you close your eyes as you try to fall back asleep.

But really, why do you love him?

You wake to the sound of knocking. Someone asks if they can come in. You grumble and say whatever comes into mind - "Leave me alone, go away." They knock again and apologize, and finally you relent - "Fine, come in, whatever." You huddle a little closer to your blankets, curling up as you hear the door open and their footsteps are heard as they walk in.

They close the door. You hear a soft click as they lock it.

They sit on your bed, you feel it dip under their weight. At this point, you can't find it in yourself to care if they end up being a serial killer or whatever - a thought that you'd probably regret in the afterlife, if ever.

They brush a hand through your hair, before you hear a sigh. They lift your blanket, settling beside you and putting a loose arm around your waist. They kiss your hair and come a little closer.

They utter your name and ask if you're asleep - you cannot find it in yourself to reply. So you pretend. You act like you're asleep, even if you knew that they probably know you aren't.

He doesn't tell you that he loves you.

When you truly wake hours later, it's near the afternoon, you sit up and feel their arm fall from its place on your waist. You look to the side and see him right there - Akaashi Keiji, warm and asleep as he breathed softly.

"So it wasn't a dream." You mumble to yourself. "You're really here."

You can't help but reach out to touch him. Your touch alone is enough to stir him awake, his eyes fluttering open and immediately focusing on you. His soft utterance of your name is enough to make you draw back. Just hours before, you had so much to say, but now that he was here, your parched throat could not bear to say anything.

“What happened?” He asked, getting up from the bed and holding your hand gently. “I hear you haven’t eaten properly in weeks.”

You sigh and shake your head, "It's nothing. It's late, Akaashi, you should get back to your dorm."

Akaashi shakes his head, looping his hand around your wrist and pulling you back. "Wait! I… I wanted to talk." He said. "About us."

Ah. Here it is.

The thing you have been dreading - the coiled dread in your gut wakes, slithering up your spine until it curls around your lungs and heart. "What is it?" You ask.

"Why don't we go to the living room? I'll cook you up a meal as we talk." He said.

"Not here. The others-"

"I asked for a favor. They're out right now. For the entire day." He said. "I know you like privacy and I didn't really think you would be up for going out."

You nod hesitantly. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

You sit on the chair in front of the counter, he grabs the apron from the rack and begins to talk as he opens the refrigerator. "Is Omurice okay with you?"

"Yes but- actually, they cooked last night, there's probably still some leftovers from dinner. I can just eat that." You said, rising from your seat as the ache in your bones started to come back.

"Sit down," he said - it's the first time you've ever heard him sound so forceful. "Please… just… sit down, okay?" He turns towards you and smiles, "Let me take care of you."

He doesn't buy you your favorite meals.

He grabs a chopping board as he takes out the ingredients, along with the leftover pork chops from last night. He heats it up as he begins to chop portions of carrots and potatoes. "I'm not sure where to begin," he said.

"You're doing just fine- after that you just have to make fried rice then-" Your rambles are cut off.

"You know that that's not what I meant." He sighed.

"Well maybe I don't want to talk about it." You said, "Maybe I'm not ready to let you go- Akaashi, we've been together for four years, I'm not going to let you leave me like this." You look down, trying to hide the tears forming in your eyes.

"Leave you?" He asked. "Why would I leave you?"

You look up, "Is that… not what you're here for?"

Akaashi blinks at you, opening his mouth as he tries to conjure the right words, "I'm not- I didn't come here to break up with you."

You sat up a little straighter, the tears in your eyes backtracking and retreating back into their ducts. "Then what are you here for?"

"To apologize." He said, "And to talk about what we want to do next - if anything, I've been anxious you'll break up with me." He turned back to the vegetables he was cutting, his eyes blinking rapidly as he tried to blink the forming tears away. And perhaps he is just as heart broken as you have been.

"I couldn't come yesterday because of the project so I wanted to make it up to you today. Then I heard you weren't eating well so I came late into the night yesterday as soon as I finished the project but well… you were already resting, I think." He said, "I'm sorry that I slept next to you last night, I know I didn't ask for your permission. I just- I just couldn't help it, I guess."

He chuckles. You watch him mess up a little as he wiped at his forehead - he's nervous. You've never seen him act like this before. He opens the stove and adds a slab of butter into a pan, letting it heat up for a bit before he adds cooked rice. It's followed by the vegetables he cut up. As he cooked, he said, "I wanted to make it up to you. Everything that I've been lacking and missing-"

"It wasn't your fault." Your mouth is quick to say it, even as your insides churn in glee as he begins to apologize.

"It was." He said, "I should've made some time for us, like you were doing. I'm sorry that I've been selfish for the past few months."

"You were chasing your dreams - who was I to stop you?" You asked.

He says your name. Softly. Gently. As if your name will break on his tongue if he says it any differently. "It's okay," he said, "I already know my faults. And besides… I don't want you to think there's something wrong with you or that I've fallen out of love with you or anything like that because I haven't."

He plates the fried rice, setting it on the counter. He breaks two eggs into a bowl, adding a little salt before beating it.

What passes is a moment of silence. You watch, eyes trained on the fact that he is here - how many nights have you lain awake, wishing for the stars to bring him back to you?

You look down, there is a voice in your head that says you should break up with him - make him feel as desperate as you did, it said, hurt him as he has hurt you. And yet, you don't. Perhaps you love him too much to do so.

Sometimes love is letting go, the voice said, it questions you, what makes you think he won't just neglect you again? You are as expendable as the eggshells he broke and got rid off moments ago, what makes you think he will keep on loving you as he used to?

You play with your hands, heart beating a little quicker and harsher against the bones of your ribs. What if he finds someone else? It will hurt more if you continue, just leave now - that way it will hurt once then never again.

Do not tell me that he's worth it - do you even know if he still finds worth in you?

"I know I'm pretty late but if it's okay with you… do you think that maybe we could try again? I promise that I'll be better this time." He said, setting down the plate of food in front of you, freshly cooked, and looking delicious yet your stomach tightens and churns at the sight of it - perhaps it is not food you hungered for.

He unties his apron, hooking it on the rack again as he goes around the counter to step closer towards you. He speaks your name but his voice is muffled by your own heartbeat and suddenly, you feel frozen as you say on that seat. Doubt creeps and breathes onto your neck, raising goosebumps and fear of being left - Akaashi speaks your name again but the tremble of your heartbeat does not cease. In fact, it grows louder.

It is the first time you felt alone even while in his presence.

He will find someone to replace you, the voices said, look at him. Top of his class and soon to graduate, blessed with good looks and a nice voice - men and women will flock to him, do you think you'll stand a chance?

But he loves me, you think to yourself, Akaashi loves me.

But does he? Tell me. Does he really?

Your hands clench against each other, almost threatening to break your knuckles until Akaashi's hand covers your own. Your hold on yourself loosens a little. His hands move. The chair scrapes against the floor. Suddenly, his arms are around you.

"It's okay." He murmured, kissing the top of your head, "I'm right here. I'm not going to leave." It was as if he knew what was going on inside your head, as if he heard what doubt and anxiety had whispered into your ears. "It's okay, I've got you. Cry if you need to, I'll stay as long as you need me to."

The tears come like the makings of a waterfall, dripping from your eyes and down along your cheeks leaving tear tracks on your skin.

"I'm sorry," you said, "I'm so sorry, I don't know why I'm crying I just-" Akaashi shakes his head, wiping at your tears as he gives you a small, worried smile.

"It's okay," he said, giving your temple a soft kiss, "It's going to be alright." He rubs your back as you let your tears fall. "I'm sorry, my dear," he murmurs, holding you a little tighter, "I didn't mean to make you feel abandoned."

You cling to him a little tighter, there is a silence in your head that threatens to break as soon as you unhold him so you let yourself unravel instead - perhaps, you will find solace in the sound of your own breaking. You spend what seemed to be a thousand years right there in his arms, but even that is not enough to fill your heart's chasm.

Your hands feel weak even as they grip him tightly, you cannot help but cry as he carefully rubs your back. He treats you as if you would shatter right there in his hold should he touch you too roughly. You don’t know whether to hate or thank him for it.

After some time, you are able to tear yourself away from him, sniffling as you finally settle and slumped down on your seat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you with all of this.” You said.

Akaashi shook his head, gently placing a kiss on your tired knuckles again. “It’s fine, dear. It wasn’t your fault.” He smiles lightly against your skin, “Why don’t you eat for now? You’re probably still quite tired, so we can rest for a bit before talking about this again.”

You give him seconds of silence before you say, “Okay.”

He hands you the cutlery, watching with a soft smile on his face as he sees you smile slightly as you break the egg on top, watching the half-cooked yolk run along the fried rice. You give him a look, before pushing him lightly towards the container holding the cutleries. “Eat with me.” You say, “I won’t be able to finish it all.”

You pierce the heated piece of porkchop, bringing it to his lips as you say, “You need food, too.”

Akaashi sighs, before he eats it and gets his own spoon and fork. “As long as you eat well, as well.” He said, watching you eat a spoonful before he eats, too. He sits right next to you, silently eating, yet somehow making sure that you ate more than him.

“Let’s go out. On a date, I mean.” You said - impulsive and sudden.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Yeah. We can drop by your dorm so you can change, then we can visit the park or something.”

Afterwards there is silence as you take a quick shower while he washed the dishes, but as you stand under the water, the soft warmth is not enough to comfort you. As soon as you are out of his reach, the whispering voices come back. He’s lying, it said, like the others did. You feel tears swell up from their coves again, your fingers twiddling with each other as you watch the soap suds get washed away by the running water.

He will leave when the time comes, maybe when you’re angry or while you argue, they say, so that he’s not the bad guy. Your hands claw at your arms again - ah, you should leave the shower soon. You should, you should. Yet your legs do not move. You feel stuck as the whispers turn to statements - he will leave again, until you understand what his leaving means and break it off with him. He doesn’t say it but he wants to be free of you.

So you ask yourself - what can you do to make him stay?

How can you convince him to stay?

You look down at yourself, trying to ignore the forming lump in your throat.

Your throat constricts, you do not have words left to say other than your woes and you’re sure it will only push him away. What if he really leaves?

But what else is there to give?

A knock on the bathroom door snaps you away from falling deep into those thoughts again. Akaashi spoke your name before he said, “You should step out soon, you might get sick if you stay there for too long.”

You say that you’ll step out soon but your mind is still trying to think of something - of anything - that might convince him to stay. It was as if your mind had forgotten the words he uttered of not wanting to leave you, perhaps you have been feeling lonely for too long that you have begun to cling to a person who will not leave you.

Or perhaps you just don’t believe him and his words anymore.

You wrap a towel around yourself, holding it against your body as you step out. You open your closet, putting on your clothes and buttoning up your shirt only to hear your door open. Akaashi curses loudly as he fumbles with the doorknob, and as you turn to look at him, you see the way his eyes are cast downwards, cheeks flushed red and his hands trembling a little from the panic. You didn’t hear what he wanted to say - nor can you find it in yourself to care.

This.

You stride towards him, holding his wrists and you say, softly, “Don’t go.”

He hesitated in answering and you can’t help but pull him into your room, locking the door behind the two of you as you basically crowd him onto the bed. He falls on the mattress, settling to sit against the headboard, as if he wanted to run from you. You begin unbuttoning your clothes, letting it fall to your elbows as you shrug it off.

Perhaps if you can make him happy now, he will stay with you forever.

You see his flushed face as he tries to keep on looking away and you say - almost a demand - “Look at me, Keiji.” His blue eyes flicker towards you, blinking quickly as you step closer, crawling into bed and trapping him between your limbs. His breaths come quick and heavy - nervous and unsure.

You settle on his lap, hands moving upwards to thumb at the edges of his clothes.

You ask, “May I?”

He doesn't even let you do what you want.

He answered, soft sighed as he spoke, “No.”

“Oh.” You say softly. He doesn’t want you. “You don’t want me.” You look away. Your hands fall, but before they could fall onto your lap, his own hands have caught them and brought them to his lips.

“I do, my dear,” He murmurs, “Trust me when I say that I do want you.” His blue eyes look up at you, “But not like this.”

“Then how do you want me?” You asked, sounding hopeful - yet for the wrong thing.

Akaashi looks up at you, thumbing and grazing his touch along the edges of your eyes. “When you’re okay, then we can do this.” He said, “But not when you’re like this… not when we are like this. I don’t want our first to be so unromantic and sad.” He offers you a soft smile, “Why don’t we just watch a movie? Or would you prefer a short nap? We can cuddle, if you’d like.”

“But this is the only thing I haven’t given yet.” You say.

Akaashi makes you look at him, “You don’t need to. I will love you regardless.”

Ah. It is the first time you ever heard him say that, isn’t it?

You can’t stop the tears that fall from your eyes and you raise your hands to sob onto your palms as you feel your soul tremble at the mere utterance of how he loves you. He loves you. Akaashi Keiji loves you.

His gentle hands pry your hands away from your face, chuckling as he leans up to kiss your tears away. You sniffle - you don’t understand why you’re crying so much but at this point, does it even matter?

At some point, he has maneuvered you to lay on top of him, his arms wrapped around your waist as your hands grip at his clothes. Your legs are tangled with each other's, your ear against his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

So… why?

"You won't leave me?" You ask.

His hands move to comb his fingers through your hair. He answers you, "Never."

"Are you sure? What if you find someone better?" You ask again. You close your eyes, exhausted from this day alone.

"That's impossible," he said simply, "There's no one in this world that equals you." He says it so seriously that you can't even remember what your doubts have whispered just an hour before.

"I love you." You say.

He responded, "I love you too."

Why him, of all people?

Years later and he kisses you at the altar, his hands cupping your cheeks as your lips meet for the billionth time.

He tastes as sweet as the first time.

In the after party, he holds your hand securely, intertwining your fingers and kissing you periodically. You giggle at this - it's one of the few times he was ever like this.

"You must've missed me a hundred times today." You say softly as you get ready for your honeymoon.

"I'll kiss you a hundred more tonight." He whispers back, smiling as you blush and push him away slightly.

"You're being stupid, Akaashi." You roll your eyes.

"Just for you, Akaashi." He winks, pulling away from you as he watches you blush a little deeper.

But then again, maybe the point isn't why but the fact that you do.

"Akana! Right here, c'mon!" You grin, clapping your hands as you cheer for your little daughter. Keiji is crouched down, bracing to catch her if she falls. Hikaru is standing on wobbly legs, holding onto your arms as he watches his twin sister take her first steps.

You hear the small patting of her feet against the hardwood floor.

Finally, she reaches you just fine, her small hands clasping on your own as she smiles. You give her a big hug, grinning as Hikaru joins in. You carry Akana to the couch, your husband following suit as he carries Hikaru.

"They're growing up too quickly." You sniffle, bouncing Akana on your leg as Keiji sits beside you, letting Hikaru cling to him as he replies with a low chuckle. "What? You don't think they're growing quickly?"

"They're still toddlers. And besides, they'll probably stay with us until they're 18, calm down." He smiled, "Don't worry, you have a lot of time with them."

He leans forward and kisses your forehead. He pulls away, beginning to play with Hikaru as he smiles.

You watch him as you hold your daughter.

So this is what love is.

263 notes · View notes

parkjiminiemouse · 1 year ago

Text

This was so cute omg

⟡ : asking them for money

pairings. og members of hummingbird crew x gn!reader/fem!r

genre. fluff, established relationships, prank

warnings. cursing, nose bleed (dom), minu’s is the only one that uses gendered terms.

✶ jay (jahyeon) jo

✶ june (junsu) lee

✶ vinny hong

✶ minu yun

✶ dom kang

𖤓 – please let me know what you all think of this! I want to write more windbreaker content and this is to test the waters for more posts for the characters + I am almost caught up with the webtoon (I’m at pt.4 chapter 20 I think as of now) so perhaps more characters once I get closer to catching up.

532 notes · View notes

parkjiminiemouse · 1 year ago

Text

It was going so well and then I had to write the ending.

Of all the development which had happened to your life lately, what you never expected was your growing comradery with the... illustrious Owen Knight.

To say the two of you were friends was a stretch. Yet, it was you who he sought out during break time after returning from being shunned by Shelly. You had no idea what led him to see your company was preferable. It couldn't have been because you were one of the few people fluent in English, there were definitely others who were vying for his attention.

But somehow, he overlooked all of them and took station at his seat, not that far from where you sat next to Shelly during class hour. You had thought he wanted to be alone when you saw him approaching until he began talking. All without caring for the earbuds you were wearing or the book you were reading.

Then again, that apparently didn't bother him. Owen was fine with monologuing his complaints and recent interests, not even moved by your noncommittal hum of inattention.

Until he decided to include you. "I don't get it, why did you and Jay never date?" Owen changed of topic sharply from fashion.

You should've known he'd never be content with existing in silence because the swerve of conversation he made was enough to wrang your neck. Something you expressed in dry sarcasm. "Local man discovered platonic friendship between men and women, more at seven."

"Shut," Owen grumbled. "Anyway, it's not like either of you is particularly ugly. I'll even admit that you're one of the prettier girls I know. Why didn't one of you get attracted to the other at some point?"

"Type and time," you shrugged, turning another page of your book. "I'd be more inclined to like someone straightforward and outgoing like Shelly than Jay."

"Anyone with eyes would like Shelly more than Jay," he added unhelpfully.

Even if you agreed deep down, you nearly lugged your book at his face for undermining your friend. "Simp."

Owen retorted. "And proud."

"Anyway, that's not the point," you said, "I think the problem is me and Jay—"

"Jay and I," He corrected, grinning when you glared at him.

"Jay and I are too similar, it makes us more siblings than anything," then, with a smirk, you added, "like you and Shelly."

Owen recoiled like you slapped him. When his cheer turned into a frown, you were worried that you might have truly offended him. Regret gnawed at you briefly. You had only meant to poke fun at his crush, not hurt his feelings for real.

However, regret seeped away when you saw his confusion and anger morph into something else. Sinister in nature and utterly worrying for another reason altogether. His smile was slow and deliberate, widening while he closed the distance between the two of you with feline grace. "So what I'm hearing... is that you'd like somebody like me."

You were the one to recoil this time around. Whatever your expression transformed into, it delighted Owen enough for him to start laughing. It was not the loud, obnoxious laugh Dom had that always made you cringe. Not the impish and mischievous ones Minu often made either.

His was a low and arrogant chuckle that could only be executed by an ego big enough to eclipse the sun, backed by the knowledge that he was entitled to that confidence. The worst thing about it was your inability to rebuke him. Not while he enclosed him between his arms, one hand on your desk, the other on the back of your chair.

"Disgusting," you pushed his face away, grimacing all the while, "did you even hear yourself?"

"What~?" Owen continued to taunt you in a sing-song voice, but he freed you from the previous entrapment. "Too shy to admit it?"

In return for his gesture of goodwill, you faked a gag. "Excuse me as I throw up in my mouth," you pressed your hand on your chest and stuck your tongue out, "you're obnoxiously in love with yourself, do you know that?"

Owen shrugged nonchalantly, "I don't see what's wrong with that. Self-love is important, people promote it all the time." He smiled again, egoistical enough to make him deserve a real slap. "Don't try to change the topic, you just admitted that you like me more than Jay."

"I admitted nothing," you sneered before raising your book to hide behind it, only peaking up to glare at him, "stop enforcing your mental gymnastics on me."

"You said you'd like somebody like Shelly and said that she's similar to me, I think that's proof enough," he pointed out, all triumphant and smug. "You can't take it back now. I'm more your type than Jay~"

You slapped the book at your face, ignoring the prompt regret at the hurt you got. "Ugh, why don't you go die or something?" You groaned out loud, embarrassed but more annoyed at letting him have the upper hand this time around. "Fine, I admit you're correct about that, but it doesn't mean anything. You're insufferable."

"You're suffering me just fine," Owen leaned down towards you again. Instinctively, you moved away. "In fact—"

Whatever pretty thought Owen came up then never got finished. He immediately snapped back to attention, his evil grin changed into one of genuine joy. The swift change momentarily disoriented you, but it didn't take much for you to know what was going on.

"Shelly!"

Owen ditched you the second his eyes set on her. His exit gave you the chance to finally breathe. With Shelly's appearance, Jay came in shortly after. He passed by you to return to his seat and shot you a pointed look, inquiring silently at your fatigue.

You waved him away and tried to reorganize your thoughts. Jay nodded back in acknowledgement, leaving you be. In a way, Shelly was having a similar interaction with Owen. Albeit, the two of them were on a completely different wavelength compared to Jay and you. They eased into chatter without missing a beat, Shelly even had a better handle of his energy than you were a minute ago.

Internally, you groaned. Only half an hour around him and he was already trying to scramble your mind. Somehow, being his... friend or whatever the two of you were fared far worse than disliking him. You scrunched your nose in distaste, trying to put the whole ordeal at the back of your mind and move on.

And it did stay there, at least for the next hour and a half. Classes distracted you enough for you to forget about it, at least for a while. The boredom of monotonous geometry lectures overtook you eventually, leaving your gaze drifting from the chalkboard to the window outside.

It was your mistake.

In your moment of distraction, your eyes met Owen, two seats away from you, gazing back in your general direction. Apparently, he didn't expect you, but he recovered before you did and grinned.

That alone was more than enough for you to know exactly what he was thinking about. You scowled at him, turning away from him and ignoring the questioning look Shelly gave you.

Ugh, you were never going to live this down.

573 notes · View notes

parkjiminiemouse · 1 year ago

Text

I accidentally deleted the request 😪, please forgive me. But I made a screenshot: hii ! Do you write poly? If you do, please can I request hcs on Joker & Wooin sharing the same s/o? if you don't, please write them seperately!! (can include nsfw if you want) thank you & take care!! i love your works

First of all thank you for all the love! I love windbreaker and love being able to reach some people! Anyways never have written Poly in my whole life, I hope that's good for you- [Windbreaker One-Shot; joker x afab reader x Woonin; Thanks for all the support! Enjoy! @queenbubu]

It doesn't really feel like you three are individuals in one relationship, In a poly relationship. But two distinct relationships that ran parallel to each other, with both men fully aware of each other's presence and your situation, and those two have a situationship.

There's never been a time when you weren't caught between them. We're not just talking about sexual intimacy, but every second of it, whether it's intimate or not.

-> Walking through the street, you once again found yourself caught between them, faced with how differently they treated you. Joker held your hand with tenderness and care, walking a bit behind you to shield you from lingering gazes. In contrast, Woonin was the opposite, grasping your hand firmly and playfully punching the space between your fingers, causing you to yelp. He practically pulled the two of you forward like an excited kid heading to a candy store.

Perhaps it was your imagination, but it felt like you were being shared by a devil of mischief and a fallen angel, and you likely know who is who. They were so different in their own ways, yet each completed you.

Woonin was a total teaser and a bit of a mean-spirited jokester, while Joker was sweet and caring. Where Woonin lacked empathy, Joker offered it, and where Joker struggled to keep you grounded, Woonin brought your feet back to earth.

Sometimes, you found yourself wondering if you were just bad at making choices. It was as though you were torn between two books—one with a lover who was mean and wrong for you, and the other with someone who was sweet and cold all at once, but the circumstances were equally challenging.

-> Dates with them were always… complicated. They never seemed to end as simple outings. Somehow, those two managed to find a way to get into a fight (Joker getting into a brawl while Woonin watched with a big smirk on his face, and you were left sitting on his lap, unable to look away), or a sudden drug deal, or something even worse, like Sungho calling because of a new job.

And that would lead to the next clash between them. While Joker wanted you as far away as possible from their work, away from bloody noses, drugged individuals, underground races, or the fight club, Woonin loved to use you to make his work a bit more amusing.

"Woonin…do I have to hide the pills in my bra?" you asked with a deadpan expression, observing him as he shuffled a bag of pills into your bra. His snake-like tongue slid over his lip, leaving it dry and longing for something sweet, or maybe your lips.

"Yeah. Don't you want to help your boyfriends?"

"Of course, but-"

He patted your breast as he grinned at you. "Good girl." Throughout it all, Joker watched the two of you from his seat, an apple between his teeth, and he didn't make a move to intervene, knowing better than to bring up that topic again. (His attempts to bring up the topic in the past resulted in nothing more than grunts.)

-> The times those two were the same opinion was not often. Most of the time, Woonin's desires were the ones that got fulfilled. Joker might have other plans, but resisting Woonin's wishes was often too exhausting for him. Your own desires? Well, as I mentioned before, what Woonin wanted, Woonin got. If he happened to be in a mood to go along with your plans, you were lucky. If not, it was just another day in your life. However, there were certain things on which both of them agreed, and that was about you wearing their crew's logo on at least one piece of clothing.

Whether it was their oversized jacket that practically swallowed you, one of their caps that threatened to slip off your head because it was far too big (and Woonin enjoyed seeing you struggle with oversized clothes, and Joker didn't mind it either because it was sweet watching you deal with the large attire), or even having the logo printed on your damn skin, you always had to wear their crew's logo. After all, how would anyone know that you were theirs if you weren't marked with their emblem?

Lying on your bed, you huffed in annoyance as you rested on Joker's thighs while both he and Woonin ran their fingers down your spine. "Maybe a tattoo here would be good," Woonin mused, his black-painted nails lightly scratching your skin, eliciting a soft whine from you.

"No," Joker grunted, "No one can see it if it's on her spine." His tone was thoughtful, making you wonder if they were seriously considering getting you to tattoo their crew's logo.

Woonin chuckled, and you could feel his fingers turning into a firmer grip on your back, the weight of their presence looming over you. They were like beasts ready to devour their prey, and that prey was you. Both of their fingers stopped between the swell of your chest, high enough to be visible even when wearing a regular shirt.

"Here," they both agreed, a rare moment of alignment in their desires.

-> Especially during their races, you had to wear their crew attire. You had to stand in the front row, cheering for them as if your life depended on it (and with Woonin and Joker as your boyfriends, it often felt that way). Four of their crew members circled around you, treating you like a princess. However, they always had to maintain a safe distance of at least two feet from you, or they risked getting crushed by your boyfriends.

Your role included getting them water, their clothes, and more. While Joker often told you not to do it, Woonin praised you for your efforts and would pat your lower waist as a reward.

"You don't have to carry it; it's heavy," Joker grumbled as he took the backpack from you, only for Woonin to quickly return it to your arms. "Oh, come on, let our little lover be a sweet girl and help us, Joker."

Unbeknownst to you, Woonin often helped lift the backpack from below as you stood there. He may not show it, but he had some soft spots for you. However, when you noticed it, he would coo and tell you that he just found it adorable how "weak" you were. Joker, on the other hand, made sure to have an extra bag that appeared smaller but was heavier. He would then give you the larger, seemingly empty bag, making you think that you were helping him. (Sometimes he would toss in some random flyers from the competition to make it less obvious.)

-> But despite everything, despite being caught between two polar opposites, you loved it. You loved lying in bed with both of them on either side. Your face buried in Joker's chest, inhaling the scents of blood and sweat mixed with aftershave, and Woonin behind you, nibbling on your earlobe with his teasing words lulling you into a deep slumber.

It wasn't that you couldn't choose one; it was the fact that you had chosen both of them.

my first time writing poly...it was okay i hope?

478 notes · View notes

parkjiminiemouse · 1 year ago

Text

5 | 🔞

summary: Jay Jo tutors you for an extra hour. wc: 2.2k cw: fembodied!reader, smut, university!au, tutor!jay jo, reader tests Jay's patience fr, oral (m receiving), facial cum shot, light degradation, spanking, p in v, all characters featured are 18+ an: since the prompt list had two different number 5's, NATURALLY i picked the one i've been thinking about for agesss.

“First, differentiate this part here…(-S)2 is equal to C2+S2…” Jay explains, using his pen to circle the components of the number expression you were currently working on.

Sitting beside each other in the library, knees brushing against each other every so often, you were growing antsy. It's hard trying to stay focused when all these equations are starting to look the same. And not to mention, your tutor is looking extra attractive today. But maybe that was just because of the residual tension lingering from your last tutoring session.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop interrupting me when I’m trying to teach you something?” Jay says through gritted teeth, his patience long gone after hearing you complain about being bored one too many times.

You insulted his teaching skills, which led to him getting up to leave. Truly fed up with your poor attitude because it was your grades, not his, that needed help; he only offered to tutor you for the extra credit. You’re ready to let him walk out on you until you remember that he’s the only one who had an open schedule and was down to study with you at any time of day as long as you gave him heads up. Now desperate, you begged him to stay. Unmoved by your pleas, Jay tells you to give him one good reason to deal with you.

And that’s how you ended up in this position.

Half past midnight on a Saturday, the library was sparsely populated. At least one person had fallen asleep with their face in a textbook. Aside from the three other people in the entire building, it's a ghost town. Not very many people want to pass up the Saturday parties when they can just cram on Sunday. Jay uses the lack of potential spectators to his advantage, making a mess of your mouth. There's no need to be sneaky or secretive if there's no one to witness the lewd dalliance of you and Jay. Ducked under one of the tables at the library, knees digging into the scratchy carpet while Jay kept a firm hand on the back of your head; bobbing you along his cock leisurely.

“I guess it’s true. Dumb sluts like you always give the best head.” He murmured softly, the faintest of smirks tugging at his lips as he watched your lips move up and down his shaft.

It doesn’t take long for your jaw to start aching from how wide you have to open your mouth to take him. Even with the slow pace he was fucking your mouth, you gagged and sputtered every time the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat.

With the deep strokes he gives, your drool gathers in your cheeks and slosh around with each push of his shaft until it trickles down the sides of your mouth. The way one of your soft hands squeeze and fondle his balls with your saliva acting as a lubricant, Jay is very much tempted into spilling his load down your throat. God knows he’s been craving this type of release for ages. But with how warm and slick your mouth is around him, he really doesn’t want the feeling to wane.

Caught between a rock and a hard place, sweat beaded along Jay’s hairline, his teeth gnawed at the inside of his lower lip, and he kept your hair in a vice grip. The longer he held off, the more desperate your actions would become. Nastily slurping up the mixture of precum and your spit that covers his shaft, using your tongue to massage the underside of his cock and trace along each of the pulsing veins, and even going as far to flick your tongue across the seam of his balls whenever you deepthroated him; it seemed like you were getting a point of wanting Jay to cum more than anything.

Jaw feeling like it was locked open for him to use, you looked up at Jay with glossy eyes, silently pleading for his climax. Desperation is cute on you—at least Jay thinks so, and wanting to take in the expression on your teary face, it makes the perfect incentive for him to hold out longer. Reaching down with the hand that wasn’t tangled in your hair, Jay yanks down the neckline of your shirt. Stretching out the soft fabric, he can slip his hand into one of the cups of your bra, roughly pinching your nipple. The tender flesh of your breast is used like a stress ball for Jay; his palm squeezing harder every time you hollow your cheeks around his cock.

It would be a bold faced lie to say that you never imagined yourself kneeling in the library with your tits spilling out, sucking someone off all in the name of saving your grade. But with Jay Jo of all people? Jay was just some quiet nerd to you. You were confident he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to get his dick sucked if you offered. However, that was the only correct assumption you made. He wasn’t as shy as you expected. He wasn’t awkward. And he definitely wasn’t small.

His cock felt so heavy against your tongue. You felt the true weight of it when he pulled it out of your mouth to slap against your cheek. Just the sound of his shaft making contact with your face renders your mind completely vacant. And that’s exactly how Jay wanted you. He doesn’t wanna see any semblance of a thought when you’re sucking him off; you need to save the thinking for when he was actually trying to teach you a lesson.

Deciding that he’s deprived himself of his release long enough, he guided your hand with his own to stroke his cock at the exact pace and grip he liked. Not even giving you a warning, all you saw was blurry white ribbons flying toward you before you felt warmth dripping down your face. Even in this situation, Jay’s expression was indifferent as usual albeit his flushed cheeks and labored breathing. It was only after he pulled up his pants and handed you some tissues before leaving, you were able to tell if he enjoyed this encounter.

“Same time, next week. Bring your last exam with you.”

“Jay, we’ve done so much tonight already. My brain feels like it’s gonna explode if I look at any more numbers.” You whine, laying your head down on the cool surface of the wooden table. “Can we end the tutoring session? Or at least take a break?”

“If you start slacking now, you’re not gonna be ready for finals at the end of the term.” He reminds you, using that same vacant tone he spoke with all the time.

Maybe if he was just a little more expressive, you’d feel more encouraged to power through the rest of your study session. You definitely felt more encouraged after last week. Jay wasn’t the type to make a big deal out of it, but he did acknowledge the six point increase on your quiz scores.

“At least I’m passing the class now! That deserves some sort of reward.” You insist, looking at him with puppy eyes.

Seeing that your focus had been disrupted since the beginning of the session, Jay relents.

“Fine, my reward will be helping you correct all the points you missed on your last quiz.”

Initially, when you hear his proposal, you’re ready to complain and fuss. But when Jay starts packing up his things and telling you to do the same, you’re quick to shove your notebook and pencils into your bag so you could trail after him.

Now, in the privacy in his dorm, you find yourself in yet another situation you couldn’t have foreseen. In Jay’s bed. Naked from the waist down. Settled on his lap with his cock deep inside of you but unmoving while he looked over your most recent exam. One of his hands held the neatly stapled set of pages while the other rested on the apex of your thigh.

“Didn’t I tell you how to solve these kinds of problems last time I saw you?” Jay scolds you as he looks over the first section of the questions you missed. “You did these problems just fine during our review session. How come you missed them?”

“Aah…I forgot a step of the formula.” You mumble in a wavering voice, struggling to refrain from rocking your hips against his.

“You should have that formula drilled into that pretty little head of yours by now.” He tells you sternly. “Lift your ass up.”

Obliging to his demand, you pick up your hips until only half his shaft remains inside of you. With your eyes focused on Jay’s stony expression, you don’t notice his hand coming off your thigh until he brings it down on your ass; slapping you hard and making you whine.

“Question 13 is the same. I even went over this one with you.” Jay murmurs, eyes scanning over your work shown and scoffing at the little mistakes.

“I forgot…” You mumble which earns you another mean spank to your ass.

Flipping through the rest of your test, Jay does reward you for your good work; letting you bounce yourself up and down on his cock like the needy slut you are. Your walls are slick and hot around him, dangling the idea of forgetting about your test corrections right in front of his face. As much as he wants to lose himself in the feeling of your pussy hugging him so tightly, he can’t. For just a few minutes, Jay allows himself to focus on how hot and wet you are for him.

That is, until he comes across another incorrect question. Immediately, he demands that you stop moving, giving your already burning ass cheeks several more slaps until you heed to his command. Manhandling you onto your back and telling you to hold your legs apart from him. Giving you only shallow thrusts, he reads off another problem you missed points.

You look up at Jay with a glassed over expression, trying to focus on him to explain where you went wrong but all that fills your mind is the sensation of your walls clenching around his dick and trying to lure him deeper into your heat. The hand that wasn’t holding your paper menacingly lifts up, hovering above your already stinging ass as Jay asks you what the correct answer is. And now, you’re racking your brain, trying to remember what he said about solving that particular problem.

“Is the rational value negative two?” You ask in a small voice, already squeezing your eyes shut and trying to brace yourself for the repercussion of getting a question incorrect.

“Good job.” Jay tells you, awarding you another spank that’s not as harsh as all the previous ones.

And then, your position changes again. After listening to him lecture you about everything you did wrong on your test, it’s time to actually make the corrections. Now laying flat on your stomach with your test in front of you and a pen in one hand, Jay fucks you from behind. Holding himself above you, his attention is split between rutting into you hard and watching you shakily redo each equation.

“You’re too slow.” Jay grunts out, the tip of his cock meanly pressing against your sweet spot as you struggle to scrawl out any semblance of a number. “You can’t spend too long on a single problem.”

“But-” You start to whine out, trying to reason that during a real math quiz, you wouldn’t have him rearranging your guts and making it hard to focus.

Alas, Jay wasn’t hearing it and only slams harder into that extra soft area deep within your walls, causing you to nearly drop your pen. Your handwriting is scratchy and shaky, looking more akin to a toddler’s work when it’s next to your usually legible print. Taking in a shuddering breath, you grip your pen tighter; desperate to prove to Jay that this kind of tutoring was the only way you could work with him. And the only way to do that was to actually work on your test corrections.

Unlike you, Jay is a very talented multitasker. He has no problem looking over your shoulder while you struggle to scrawl out your work on the page due to the way he was roughly slamming into you from behind.

“I shouldn’t have to remind you about the order of operations.” He murmurs in your ear, thrusts barely slowing down even as he chides you when you neglect the numbers you had just rewritten in parentheses.

“For fucks sake…” You mutter under your breath, trying to collect your thoughts for long enough to correct your mistake while also keeping back the moans that were tickling the back of your throat.

It’s funny to Jay; the way you’re able to remember to keep your ass up and back arched so he could fuck you deeper without him ever needing to tell you in the first place, but after weeks of him telling you the same fundamental math principles over and over, the material just wouldn’t stick. But could he blame you? His cock was hitting all the right places and you simply couldn’t get enough of it. Meanwhile, math was a subject you absolutely detested.

With the way things were going, it was going to be a long review session; but totally worth it if all the ones after this would be the same.

594 notes · View notes