pcharming7

[pcharming7]

writing? oh, i’m definitely writing. in my head. during the most inconvenient times. like in the shower or when i’m about to fall asleep. actual typing? no, no, we don’t do that here.

[pcharming7]

[pcharming7]

Me in an average Hitman level: completely botch my assassination plan and accidentally kill the target in full view of multiple armed guards that I didn’t notice, causing a massive firefight where I barely escape with my life.

Diana: Target down. Excellent work, 47

“Excellent work” my bald barcoded ass. I know I fucked up Diana, you don’t have to lie to me.

[pcharming7]

Honestly I’d be more inclined to play Stardew Valley if it was about a depressed cop trying to solve a murder whilst navigating the politics of a mass strike and the fallout of counter revolution

[pcharming7]

Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

[pcharming7]

Spent 20 minutes editing the Casino Royale poker scene to be chutes and ladders instead of finishing my English homework.

[pcharming7]

[pcharming7]

How could I forget about the space program!? Honestly I kind of hope this doesn’t get elaborated on like Argos. It works just fine as yet another weird piece of lore.

So there’s this new tabletop game called Trench Crusade that I’ve been reading up on, and here’s some of my favorite lore tidbits so far:

-The whole setting is an alternate timeline where the Knights Templar found a portal to Hell in Jerusalem during the Crusades and opened it, plunging the world into a forever war with demons that’s lasted into 1914.

-The church has made multiple clones of Jesus called Meta-Christs. There’s at least seven of them, and they’re harvested for their flesh which turns you into a horrifying mutant with superpowers if you eat it.

-The initiation ritual for the human fighters of Hell, the Heretic Legion, involves traveling to the gates of Hell and coming back without being burned alive. The only way for a human to survive Hell is to be a bad person, so even the basic infantry is made up of grade-H (for Hell) certified pieces of shit.

-The Heretic Legion has a unit called an Artillery Witch. They use magic to teleport bombs from factories and then throw them at people.

-The Hashashin still exist in 1914, and they use special drugs that briefly send their bodies into the future so they can attack from multiple places at once. They also build up toxins in their blood and then use said blood to make poison knives.

-In the official timeline there’s an event in 1477 that just states “The city of Argos is taken by God and it is no more,” and there’s no elaboration on what that means.

-There’s a lot of little alternate history moments that boil down to “it didn’t happen because Europe was too busy fighting Hell.” Protestant Reformation? European Colonialism? Who has time for that when you’re being attacked by a wolf with a chainsaw for a face?

-Not a lore tidbit, but it’s a genuine miracle that the creators aren’t those weird alt-right Crusades or Roman Empire LARPers, given the game’s general aesthetic and subject matter.

So yeah, Trench Crusade is absolutely insane so far. I’m still on the fence about it as a game, but the lore is all kinds of insane and I can’t wait to see how it gets fleshed out.

Official website because proper credit is important:

[pcharming7]

So there’s this new tabletop game called Trench Crusade that I’ve been reading up on, and here’s some of my favorite lore tidbits so far:

-The whole setting is an alternate timeline where the Knights Templar found a portal to Hell in Jerusalem during the Crusades and opened it, plunging the world into a forever war with demons that’s lasted into 1914.

-The church has made multiple clones of Jesus called Meta-Christs. There’s at least seven of them, and they’re harvested for their flesh which turns you into a horrifying mutant with superpowers if you eat it.

-The initiation ritual for the human fighters of Hell, the Heretic Legion, involves traveling to the gates of Hell and coming back without being burned alive. The only way for a human to survive Hell is to be a bad person, so even the basic infantry is made up of grade-H (for Hell) certified pieces of shit.

-The Heretic Legion has a unit called an Artillery Witch. They use magic to teleport bombs from factories and then throw them at people.

-The Hashashin still exist in 1914, and they use special drugs that briefly send their bodies into the future so they can attack from multiple places at once. They also build up toxins in their blood and then use said blood to make poison knives.

-In the official timeline there’s an event in 1477 that just states “The city of Argos is taken by God and it is no more,” and there’s no elaboration on what that means.

-There’s a lot of little alternate history moments that boil down to “it didn’t happen because Europe was too busy fighting Hell.” Protestant Reformation? European Colonialism? Who has time for that when you’re being attacked by a wolf with a chainsaw for a face?

-Not a lore tidbit, but it’s a genuine miracle that the creators aren’t those weird alt-right Crusades or Roman Empire LARPers, given the game’s general aesthetic and subject matter.

So yeah, Trench Crusade is absolutely insane so far. I’m still on the fence about it as a game, but the lore is all kinds of insane and I can’t wait to see how it gets fleshed out.

Official website because proper credit is important:

[pcharming7]

You can tell how hungry for blood the tumblr userbase is this year by looking at how early in the month the Ides of March posts are being made

[pcharming7]

Wow, Tumblr is fuckin' HYPE for the Ides of March this year. I wonder why that could possibly be.

[pcharming7]

I have a joke about math but im 2² to say it

[pcharming7]

a good way to inspire yourself to do more is to see yourself as the wacky sitcom B plot character in your friends lives, "wouldnt it be funny to tell the friends in my phone about it." has gotten me to do anything from going to a festival (excelent) to wild camping (it went badly) (coastguard called) to trying to get the train to stonehenge (stonehenge costs money so i ended up just getting lunch in sailsbury, it was okay.) i bought a bicycle today and 20% of my reasoning was "itd be funny to surprise my roommate by coming home with a whole bike." . life is for living. and baby i live for the bit.

[pcharming7]

I think it’s funny how writers have a hard time with making Magneto a full on villain, because the only way to have him not be sympathetic is to have him be full on genocidal towards humans, “homo superior” and all that. If you go any lighter on his motivations, you have a guy who is at worst justifiably angry and at best actually correct given the circumstances, which is honestly the best way to write him IMO.

[pcharming7]

quite honestly everybody get earnest

[pcharming7]

[pcharming7]

The Marvel Rivals community is so unserious sometimes. “This hero’s F-tier because they’re so team dependent!” Gee, who could have guessed that a team-centric multiplayer game requires you to coordinate with your team? I’m shocked, outraged even.