perceptionishuman

[perceptionishuman]

Sing For Me

Jinsuk weaved through the broken remains of the once beautiful orthodox church. Torn apart by endless war and bloodshed, laying a pile of rubble and ash. No longer an adorning church, but a forgotten memory buried beneath debris of a past life. Jinsuk trailed her fingers along the few remaining pews, almost reverently rubbing the dust between her fingers and frowning.

Roman lifted his gaze away from Jinsuk and upward toward the drooping, crumbling ceiling. A gaping hole shone through as if it were mid-yawn, a ray of light spewing out of its mouth, bathing everything else in shadow. He moved toward Jinsuk, who was standing beneath the chasm of light, illuminating her as if she was an angel. Head lowered as she whispered something beneath her breath.

He called after her, careful not to trip over debris as he attempted to reach her. “Jinsuk. Stop. Go.” She ignored him even though he knew she knew what he meant still standing head bowed. They’d spent enough time together over the past few years that they understood some words from the others' native language.

Jinsuk might have been fond of the idea of getting crushed to death, but Roman was not. He huffed in frustration, grabbing her wrist. “Jinsuk!”

She looked up at him innocently with a look that said, ‘What?’ very, very sarcastically.

Roman aggressively pointed at the ceiling, making a slashing motion over his neck, then gestured toward the gaping doors.

Jinsuk slipped her hand out of his grasp and shrugged with a grin on her face. As if to say, ‘So? We were told to scout the area. We’re scouting.'

Roman blew out an exasperated sigh trailing behind her. This woman was going to get him killed.

She stopped just at the edge where the light cut into shadows. Brushing rubble back she pulled at something caught beneath. Roman moved to her side to help her. Together they pulled up some instrument case. The case was leather and black as tar, it was scratched and dented but otherwise intact. Roman wasn’t so sure the instrument inside would be.

Jinsuk gently laid the case on the rubble blowing off the dust. Her eyes lay on it with fascination, her fingers trailing over it finding their way to the clasps pausing then away again. She did this several more times, growing more and more hesitant.

She stood abruptly, brushing off her uniform, before taking two steps toward Roman. She leaned forward on the toes of her feet placing two fingers on his throat and calmly thrusting upward. His pulse raced at her touch.

 “Sing?” he asked, trying to keep his voice even.

She nodded eagerly. Sing was one of the words in his language she knew well. For some unbeknownst reason to Roman, she was fascinated by his voice. She was content listening to him talk for hours, even though she rarely knew what he was talking about. He guessed it was calming background noise for her; she’d fallen asleep to him talking more than once.

But what she really loved was when he sang. Whenever she wanted him to sing, she placed two fingers on his throat and pushed upward. Which was almost always. He’d tried asking her why many times, but he didn’t think his message went through clear any of the times because she never gave a clear answer. Or maybe she couldn’t think of a way to respond.

Roman took a deep breath, clamping his eyes shut, watching the music dance before his eyes. He sang a sad, melodic lullaby his grandmother used to sing him when he was young. Letting the emotions entangle him in a slow dance. The song poured into the church, echoing off the walls creating an ethereal effect. He made his voice lilt, adding flourishes to the song. He was glad Jinsuk couldn’t understand the childish words in the song.

Jinsuk's soft shifting steps moved away from him. Her uniform scraped against the ground. Something snapped open, and her boot scraped against the ground.

The final note of the song drifted from Roman’s mouth. He shut his mouth, his eyes still closed. A bow against string screeched in complaint of being used after so long, but slowly the off-tune notes formed real ones. The violin’s bittersweet melody surrounded him holding a fist over his heart.

Roman opened his eyes, watching Jinsuk sway with the music. His throat constricted. Her eyes were closed, her fingers curving and switching between notes. It took him a while to recognize the mournful song as his own. She leaned into the music, bathed in sunlight. The music wasn’t perfect; it wasn’t expert violin playing, but to Roman, it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard. Her brow furrowed in concentration and deep emotion.

Jinsuk hit the last note and dropped the violin to her side, eyes fluttering open, her face flushed. She stepped toward Roman, pressing two fingers to his neck sliding them up. Then she stepped back, lifting the violin to her shoulder, and started another song, a song he’d sung to her often. One he knew at heart. It was a mirthful song, but if you listened closely, there was a sad undertone, and the more you listened, the sadder the song became. He lifted his voice in harmony with her instrument. Tapping out the beat against his leg, rocking back and forth on his heels with the music.

The sound of his voice and her violin laced their fingers together, seeping into the church’s darkness. Roman sang of a seemingly happy man. Torn and broken apart by war and famine, when he returned home, everything went on as if it was fine. His family thought he was happy, but at the end of his song he leaves them buried deep in the ground with the sadness they couldn’t see. Roman’s mother used to hate the song, scolding Roman’s father whenever he sang it. Roman never understood why it was such an upbeat song. It wasn’t until he was older that he understood the lyrics and the tone.

He whispered the last two words of the song, echoing off the walls as if the church whispered along with him. Jinsuk lowered the violin. They stood there in silence for minutes, staring at each other. Then Jinsuk outstretched her palm laying it over his heart. It hammered beneath her gentle touch. She gazed up into his faded blue eyes with her dark ones.

Jinsuk whispered, “That what I feel, hear, when you sing.”

Roman’s throat went dry. He wasn’t surprised she’d spoken English; they’d been learning it slowly together in hopes one day they’d escape their countries and go to America. Yet no one had ever said something so… sweet? Lovely? Strange? Staggering? No, there wasn’t a right word for what she’d said meant to him. He repeated the words under his breath softly.

Jinsuk turned, her hand falling from his chest, and placed the violin back in its case lowering the lid like it was a coffin, but in a way it was. She shut the clasps and laid them in the middle of the church right under the sun. She stood and bowed to the violin, a homage to its last performance.

Roman wished he could stay in that moment forever with her. Singing, talking, even just sitting in silence together, but she slipped away too soon. Away from him, away from the church and their music. All he could do was follow in her wake.

They stepped out of the church into the open air. Jinsuk looked back one last time, watching, a twinge of sadness lingering in her eyes as she looked up at Roman. He took her hand, giving her a small smile, and they walked away.

[perceptionishuman]

Little Black Sheep

Poor little black sheep

Your heart was too big for this world and the world was too cruel for you

It beat you down until you were a shell of your former self

All you wanted was to fit in but they saw your difference and feasted

So you became what they told you you where you became what they feared

You became the wolf

[perceptionishuman]

Dying Stars

You're smile is a sad thing, little one you smile at your friends You smile at your foes you smile at those you do not know But when you're alone there is no one to smile at but the mirror And you're so tired of smiling yet you continue smiling anyway Smile at the moon smile at the sun Smile at the pain to hide the tears To hide that you're dying because my darling, you are anything but fine You lay in bed all night crying for all the things you aren't When your friends ask if you're okay you laugh through the tears Because your smile is forged from dying stars and broken cosmos

[perceptionishuman]

Prompt for your pacifist characters :D

You think just because I am kind that I am naive. You think that my compassion means I am innocent. You mistake my dislike of violence for weakness. But you do not consider I have fought every second to remain so. Do not think that I couldn't tear you limb from limb because I could. I have just chosen not to do so.

[perceptionishuman]

Queen

"Tell me... how does the lowest pawn, someone who was never meant to play, an object used to manipulate other players, win?"

"By becoming queen."

[perceptionishuman]

Withered

My husband loves late nights and long drives. He loves cooking and blue daisies. He sketches on napkins and scratch paper only to throw them away. There’s oil beneath his fingernails from working on his truck and smears of batter on his face from cooking. He hates the sound of crashing waves and yelling. He hates reading and sitting still. He forgets things easily and disappears sometimes, only to apologize for it later. There’s a smile on his lips and assuring words always ready to be given, even at his lowest. He’s the most tenderhearted person I know, my comfort, my love, my soldier. His hands are calloused and scared but will still cup my face and tell me I’m beautiful. His eyes are soft, empathic, and lovely. There’s a gentleness inside him he tries to hide, but I see it every time he puts handpicked flowers in vases around the house. Every time he helps a sobbing child. Every time he kisses me. He’s the angriest person I know, my defender, my drug, my doom. His hands are bloodied and bruised, but he still will put up a fight when others can’t. His eyes are dark, cold, and calculating. There’s a rage inside him he tries to hide, but I see it, every time a hand is raised. Every time a child screams. Every time he goes so deep into his own head, I can’t reach him. My husband used to love the ocean and the crashing of its waves. He used to love the sand beneath his feet and the sound of seagulls. But not anymore. Sometimes the things you love turn into things you hate. My husband used to love me… but not anymore. No, we’d screwed up. Somewhere between the car rides and late nights. Somewhere between the blue daisies and homemade meals. Somewhere between the long deployments and empty beds. Somewhere between the fights and wilting petals. Our love had withered, and I was no longer something he loved. (Just a thing I wrote for two of my characters, Marzia and Niko)

[perceptionishuman]

Niko has a good poker face but what he's really thinking is 'Do not drop her, do not drop her, do not drop her, if you drop her we're sleeping on the couch and we're not doing that again'

[perceptionishuman]

Shh, it's the first time Niko's slept well in weeks.

[perceptionishuman]

My persona

[perceptionishuman]

Zayden Sical's redesign

[perceptionishuman]

[perceptionishuman]

[perceptionishuman]

Niko has no mercy when gaming-

[perceptionishuman]

Seth is low-ki chaotic

[perceptionishuman]

[perceptionishuman]

Roman has that bad back posture lol-

[perceptionishuman]

Roman and Ellie don't like to admit it but they get along quite well