phantomb0ner

[phantomb0ner]

what you see: haha funney dating sim where you can fuck the furniture!

what you get: loving explorations of things like adhd, alcoholism, ocd, chronic illness, body dysmorphia, toxic relationships, the evils of capitalism and ai. brennan lee mulligan is there

[phantomb0ner]

YUPPP I FINALLY DID IT AND I CAVED IN AND NO I WILL NOT APOLOGISE

[phantomb0ner]

My love(s)🌹🌹🔋🔋🔋❤️❤️❤️

[phantomb0ner]

Cuddle game

Featuring: Parker

Fic type: fluff, scenario/headcanons

Purely self indulgent, I love him so much (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

Honestly, it's a hassle to get Parker to relax enough to cuddle. He's always pulling out boardgame after boardgame, raring to go as if it's the only thing he knows. And I mean, it is the only thing he knows.

Once introduced to the world of affection, there's no going back. Parker will follow you everywhere just so he can keep his grubby little hands on you. Reap what you sew, as they say.

He's still the ever energetic guy that wants to play games all the time, but now he's just more understanding of sometimes not wanting to play round, after round, after round. His feelings might still be a little hurt, but nothing a little cuddle can't help, right?

Parker runs on the colder side when it comes to body temp, and he uses that as a good excuse to leach off of you. He's the type of guy to rest his freezing cold hands on the back of your neck when you least expect it- but never during a game. He isn't a filthy cheater.

Speaking of cheaters, if he finds you trying to use cuddles as a way to persuade him into losing, or distracting him? Oh he's mad. How dare you use such evil tactics!

Yes, he'll fall for it every time, unable to resist your warmth, but that doesn't mean he can't do it without anger flowing through his bones

"You filthy fucking cheater..." He murmurs while wrapping his arms around you in return. His stomach and legs sprawled across the gameboard now destroyed and half-forgotten after you asked for a hug.

Parker knew it was a trap, yet he couldn't resist the allure of your arms around him- so he folded (almost immediately, might I add).

He'll never truly get over it, but accepts that it'll happen again and considers doing it himself once or twice. Though he'd never stoop to such a low level.

His skin is surprisingly soft, for being up in the attic for ages. He's got a few splinters on his hands, but his legs and arms are smoother than a bald man's head! He knows this, and enjoys when you smooth your hands over his arms while cuddling.

The way your hands glide up and down, and even trace his tattoos at times, really lulls him into melting into you more and more.

Cuddling is never truly comfortable, and it's not because of his accessories. He loves to sleep in the weirdest, most unfortunate positions known to man. This man has fallen asleep while doing downward dog and no one can tell me otherwise.

He really, really, enjoys resting on top of you. Whether you've got big on bazoomies or not, he's resting his head on your chest and rubbing up against you like a cat. It's his favorite thing to do.

He'll also take resting his head on your stomach as an alternative if you don't want the chest option. Albeit he does it in the most compromising way ever.

Your legs will be thrown over his shoulders and he's got his hands intertwined with his like it's chill. His head rests more over your pelvis than your stomach, but don't tell him that; he probably can't tell the difference.

Definitely a yapper. You could be half-asleep in the dead of night, and the only thing truly keeping you awake is Parker's voice vibrating from him to your chest- where you can hear it more clearly somehow. It's not uncomfortable by any means, but sometimes you've gotta grab his face and give him the most aggressive, demanding kiss that you can muster up at midnight.

Such a kiss gets him quiet for a handful of minutes, just enough time to fall asleep before he starts up his yapping again.

If you want him to be quiet for longer, you'll have to offer more than just a mere kiss- such as... Two kisses.

[phantomb0ner]

PLEASE READ! Hello!! This is my first post ever on here and my first time doing headcanons. I loved the hanks to much to not do anything for them. So here you go! (I’ll learn how to format later) and totally give me requests if you like my writing I’m DOWNNN for some freaky stuff LMAO. Here’s my TikTok where I posted this on there as-well (crackerlover9666)

-Hank 3 convinced the other Hanks to do thirst traps because “they needed the exposure” when they were with Red Bowl, but since they left, only Hank 3 still does them because he enjoys the compliments.

-They have a voting box that they use to determine who will be the leader of the group for that day. (They submit the same votes in every day so it’s Hank 1 for Monday, Hank 5 for Tuesday, Hank 4 for Wednesday, Hank 3 for Thursday, and Hank 2 for Friday every week. They don’t have a leader on the weekends because they don’t want anyone to feel left out or favored)

- When you first met them they would push you too far with their extreme activities and wouldn’t stop until you genuinely got hurt (they of course felt bad) or would call you a lame-o if you didn’t go with them in fear of getting hurt. (Hank 2 understood your caution)

-Hank 1,2,4, and 5 talked to Hank 3 about his flirting and that he needed to tone it down with you because they couldn’t help but get secondhand embarrassment. They all liked you (romantically or platonically) and didn’t want his advances to push you away.

-Sleepovers. They don’t call it hanging out or staying the night they will and always will call it a sleepover. Pillow fights, movies, they somehow always have some delicious gossip, Hank 5 bakes cookies, board games/video games, and pranks. Do not fall asleep first or you will look like a middle schooler's notebook when they’re bored in class.

-They all tan amazingly except Hank 3 who genuinely gets cooked in the sun. He always uses the most sunscreen and will wear slightly longer T-shirts, shorts(basically jorts), and has a hat he wears if the sun is unusually bright out.

-You and Hank 2 would work on his novel together. Basically what you did with Lyric but a lot longer and way more off task. You would be the one who pushes him to work and pay attention. He appreciates it and when he publishes it he does that thing on the first page where it says stuff like “To y/n my reason for doing this” shit like that.

-Hank 1 goes to, and volunteers at a local shelter so he can work on and get the right information for his dog parachutes. Of course, he does more than just work on his dream and really helps out when he’s there, the other workers love it when he shows up. Has grown close with a golden retriever(obviously) and plans on adopting one day when his income is more stable.

-Hank 3 plays the board game “Operation” and thinks that helps him get smarter for when he actually does brain surgery. (Surprisingly when he does take classes to be a licensed professional he gets all high marks. He thinks the only reason that is, is because he played that stupid game, and not all the effort he does like studying, all-nighters, and paying attention in class.)

-You help Hank 4 find his dream because he doesn’t have an idea of what he wants to do in life. After some experimenting, he understands that his passion is extreme sports. He feels upset at first because it’s just what he’s been doing all along, and the other hanks have different dreams other than that. But you and the other hanks reassure him that it’s okay and he just knows what he likes! One day he comes up with the idea of starting a company like Red Bowl that sponsors other extremists like him. He obviously puts the safety and needs of the people he sponsors before anything else.

-You and Hank 5 just do typical dating things. His dream is to be a father which is not happening for a WHILEEEE. So in his free time, he bakes with you. Cute baking dates soon turn into something way more than that. He genuinely gets good at baking and starts making sweet treats for other objects around the house, like Volt and Eddie for their bar. You convince him to take commissions for small things like birthday parties, gender reveals, housewarming parties, etc. After a while, he starts making good money on it and would take bigger commissions like weddings. He will always bake for you since you’ve been with him since day one. (So male wife coded)

They are this image with you when they “aren’t in harmony” (angry at each other/ having different ideas on how they want to spend the day with you, etc..).

[phantomb0ner]

i love that theyre rgb ... makes coloring rlly fun

waiter waiter more glasses mac art please

[phantomb0ner]

'It's not too late to learn, Fenris'

[phantomb0ner]

preacher boy

[phantomb0ner]

traditional happy pride month from everyone's favorite transgender video game characters

[phantomb0ner]

just made the most beautiful thing i've ever seen

[phantomb0ner]

Guess who went and watched sinners today?! It was me. I will not be normal about this. It's genuinely a masterpiece. I need the whole cast honestly but if I have to pick favorites it's stack and remmick. I NEED THEM!!!

[phantomb0ner]

How are fanfic writers so damn fast, cause damn. this shit is hard!! Why does it take so much time for so little to show for it??? Dude I'm not built like y'all, I'm trying to keep myself motivated so I can get those fics I promised y'all out but jeez.

[phantomb0ner]

Hot and Sexy john constantine headcannons (nsfw)

Hes a switch, no one can convince me other wise. i just know he loves the back and forth.

When he doms he defiantly is more stern not in a sadist way (not completely anyway) more in way that he knows you can do better and will make sure you do too. (ahhhhhhhh) very firm guiding hand, if you get me.

When subbing he's a service sub all the wayyyyy, he might not be the most vocal but he makes up in the way he looks up at you. the most lethal bedroom eyes known to man.

I think he'd be a top for the most part but if you ask enough he'll let you bend him over.(with the back tattoo out and face in the pillows. AHHHHHH) He'd probably not go for front facing positions when bottoming, he'd likes the feeling of being used. who said that? (i don't think he'd let you top if yall aren't at least somewhat committed)

though if he's topping and yall are in a committed relationship he's choosing front facing super intimate positions every time, its honestly kinda pathetic.

He definitely notices if you like when he takes off his jacket off and has his forearms out. (totally not me projecting) He will weaponize this, and will role up his sleeves when he trying to gain ground if yall are fighting for dominance. i just know he'll make you beg for it while he's got the full suit on. yes this goes both ways.

Yall know in bathroom with angela he says hes thinking? yeah he build up lethal levels anticipation doing that shit.

Will make out with you at midnight's club. no more than that but yall will be going home QUICK after that, just imagine,, with the lights and the music(WOOOO)

Crazy head game. that's it. no matter what you have he's going done. he's groaning and keeping eye contact and everything, pull his hair he's asking for it. (dom or sub) His oral fixation goes crazy.

Loves to playing games that consist of trying to outlast each other, he usually wins cause he gets off on the waiting. WHOA NOW

i honestly have no explanation for this. who wants a kink list? can you guess the kinda music i was listening to while i wrote this? i want him…..

[phantomb0ner]

Why is john so mischaracterized?

Now the next point i have is the wild miss-characterization of john.

in all the fanfics ive read of him so far hes one of these. A daddydom,extreme sadist that want to corrupt you, or the sweetest most domestic man you've ever heard of. I think all of these are wrong, heres why-

I don't think he wouldn't want to corrupt you, mostly because i don't think he would care that much how corrupt you are (i mean he not going to be with or around a terrible shitty person but you can defiantly be a bit morally grey before hes put off)

I think he would want to be with someone that understands where he's coming from or has come from similar origins as him

I don't think hes as much of a sex freak as y'all portray him as. that's not to say hes chaste at all or doesn't GET DOWN i just think that's not the first thing hes thinking about all the time.

This one is simply because i hate daddy kinks and think there should be less of it, like babes there are other actually hot and sexy honorifics. For example- Sir. that's it. maybe i just don't like title in sexy stuff very much.

It's not that I think he's not romantic or affectionate, its just not the way y'all are saying he is. I think the way he shows his affection the most (not to say he doesn't in other ways) is in the way he looks at you, like he's probably staring 24/7.

Also why has no one written a scene of him doing the thing of lighting someone else cigarette like there's so much potential for tension in that. im going to do it myself.

Also if y'all are freaks you say you are why isn't there a self insert fic for the bathtub scene but instead having realization like angela, i get hard from his staring at me like that while holding me down. y'all need to get on my level of freak please. im also going to write this one.

If y'all couldn't tell im both in love with him and also want to be him. I will make more in depth head cannons later.

This is super self indulgent and kind of nonsense, i will be making more. Mwah.

[phantomb0ner]

Constantine (2005) John and Angela character analysis.

I think the dynamic between john and angela is so interesting.

the base line of why they don't get together is not that the don't have chemistry because they definitely do. we see that is the bathroom scene and the multiple fake-out we get, but there is clearly putting john off enough to not get with her.

I think its based off a few reasons, one being the fact that even if john likes her he doesn't really trust her. i personally think it would take a lot of time for john to trust someone enough to be with them romantically. it would take a lot of someone showing that they have his back completely for him to commit.

Second is the way she interacts with her clairvoyance, and her denial of it. I heavily agree with a comment that my mom made about the fact that she thinks the song passive by perfect circle that plays in the movie is about angela, I find that so spot on expecally from johns point of view.

the song makes such a big thing of the fact the person the singers singing about is disappointing them in the fact that they are ignoring their potential, (in the songs case the potential to be their perfect enemy) in johns case the fact the Angela ignores and represses her potential for her clairvoyance.

we see this the scene of the both of them in isabels room when john yells at her, I understand why its such a big deal to him. Its because her not wanting to use her powers and see what she needs to because shes to comfortable in her ignorance, and her fear. And to john its like a slap in the face that she can even do that because for him that's not even a option. i relate to john heavily in the fact that its extremely hard to be faced with the reality that other people have the choice to not have to deal with things that so greatly impact and influence your life that you don't get a choice in.

Its the fact that anglela's only willing to see at all because of her grief and its highly likely that once she settles back into the routine of her life that she will just repress her clairvoyance and not have much more to do with the world that john lives in.

I think there such a distance between john and angela because they approach the supernatural extremely differently. In angela case shes spent her life repressing and running from it but she does heavily depend on some part of it for her work, we see thing and in a way she is just as much of a hunter as john is but for her she only ever sees the negative in it. she will always pull away from her powers and that world.

Were as we see john who has spent the majority of his life being a hunter meeting his powers and that world half way, he also sees not only the negative parts but also all the rest, he defantly his constantly being dealt shitty hands but he still pursues absolution.

This isn't to say i don't think angela is a good character because she definitely is, i do enjoy her character and her role in the story.

in conclusion she will always pull away from it and he will meet it halfway every time. she doesn't match his freak.

I also have to preface these are just my thoughts on this and you do not have to agree with me. and if you see any grammar mistakes, no you didn't. If yall want more about john specifically ill work on that.

[phantomb0ner]

Who wants a character analysis and head cannons for Constantineeeeee (2005) it's specifically about John and Angela's interaction and relationshipppppp! Well it doesn't really matter if you want it or not I've already written it, I'm posting it tomorrow. I might also give y'all a little x reader snippet if you're lucky.....I've got a few devious ideas floating around up here.

Also if y'all want my constantine playlist I'll also post that!!

[phantomb0ner]