pointlesstrashyexistence

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Europe is often imagined to be ‘progressive’ when it comes to abortion, but a lot of people who need abortions are falling through the cracks of the system:

In Poland, abortion is almost entirely illegal.

There are only a few countries in Europe where abortion is legal after the 14th week

Undocumented people, migrant workers, and people without health insurance are often denied access to abortion services. 

Stigma and social control prevents people from seeking abortion. Anonymous options are not always available.

Anti-abortion groups are becoming increasingly prolific, setting up fake clinics and websites with misinformation (most notably at the moment are misinformation campaigns about the supposed ‘dangers’ of abortion pills that are in fact totally safe.) 

But there are answers. Abortion Without Borders is a network of mutual aid groups that helps people access abortion.

They can help you access an abortion in your own home, using abortion pills that are safe and indistinguishable from a natural miscarriage. Absolutely no one needs to know.

If you’re too far along for pills or don’t want pills, they can help you access abortion in a clinic in a country where abortion is legal up to your 24th week. They can help with travel, housing, translation and the costs of the abortion itself.

Their website mainly focuses on Poland because that is where the greatest need is at the moment, but wherever you are: if you need an abortion and can’t get one, they will help.

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In response to Roe vs Wade being overthrown I want to provide a link that includes donations for abortions, as well as a link that provides information for your nearest clinic. I am also including information for other states near me that need donations for abortions/reproductive health.

https://abortionfunds.org/ and https://prochoice.org/

Carolina abortion funding link, located in North Carolina https://www.carolinaabortionfund.org/

Florida: https://floridareprofreedom.org/abortion-funds/

Georgia: https://www.abortionislegalingeorgia.com/

Texas: https://fundtexaschoice.org/

West Virginia: https://www.womenshealthwv.org/choicefund

please provide more links if you know of any.

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I’m freaking the fuck out. new my chem on a random fucking thursday. wtf

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I recently got back into Gorillaz and rewatched all the music videos that have since come out and have been obsessing over 2D’s eyes for the last few hours. All throughout Phase 1, 2, and 4 they’re black. But in Phase 3 they are almost always white, are exclusively white in Phase 6, and are mostly white in Phase 5 with the exception of the part in Humility where 2D’s head gets hurt and he blinks and his eyes that had been white for the entire video turn black.

I think it was really interesting that the meaning of white colored eyes for 2D specifically was suddenly changed following Phase 4. For most fans, it was pretty easy to believe that 2D’s eyes were white because of an intense amount of stress and anxiety. He was trapped on an island in the middle of nowhere, imprisoned underwater where a whale constantly watched his actions as a giant psychological mindfuck, and the only other characters he had constant interaction with was one of the most abusive assholes in the world who has basically taken control of his 2D’s life whenever he wants no matter what 2D may or may not want and a cyborg imitation of one of his best friends/ pseudo child that only follows Murdoc’s orders and can kill anybody on command with the weapons in her body. Of course he’d be stressed the fuck out and what better way would there be to show this in a character who is known for his eyes being black suddenly turning white as if somehow instead of his skin turning pale like a normal person’s does when scared and anxious, the blood making his eyes black rushes out. Then he came back in Humanz with black eyes and it seemed everything was back to whatever Gorillaz version of normal is, meaning 2D was less stressed or dealing with his stress better and his eyes were back to black. When Humility came out and 2D’s eyes were white while he seemed so happy and free, it was the real head spinning moment.

I think If Noodle had been right in thinking 2D had been possessed like Russel and that was why he was acting so different than before and had white eyes in Phase 5, that might have been a little much even for Gorillaz since while 2D is one of the more odd looking members of the band, he is also the most relatively normal member. He had a fairly normal childhood with the exception of the accident that led him to have blue hair, he has loving parents with normal jobs, and between phases he had pretty average stories of working at his dad’s fairground and going to school or traveling. He wasn’t Murdoc who made deals with the devil, or Noodles who was a child soldier and assassin also dealing with literal demons, or Russel who had been possessed and turned into a giant because of chemicals as he swam to Plastic Beach. There’s no real connection he has to anything exceptionally strange or supernatural until Phase 6 and that’s not particularly exceptional since everyone in the band also interacts with the portals.

I’ve heard two different theories about why 2D’s eyes are now almost exclusively white. One is that his eyes mimic the energy and emotion he feels. Black is a neutral state. Extreme happiness or extreme sadness/ stress? White eyes. I think it’s a fairly decent explanation. It feels like a better fit for 2D while also explaining why he has the same colored eyes for such conflicting emotions and circumstances. It doesn’t have quite as much depth as I would hope for though. The second theory is that 2D’s eyes being black has been because of consistent head trauma because people who suffer from 8-ball fractures should be able to heal and their eyes turn back to normal, but they also need to be more careful of their head hitting anything because it can easily send blood rushing back into the eyes. While Noodles is definitely the most dangerous of the group, Murdoc has always been the one to become violent easily, and seems fond of finding reasons to harm 2D. During Phase 3 (the lore not the clips), Murdoc and 2D are all alone and are not performing. During Phase 5, Murdoc isn’t around because he’s in jail, and when he returns in Phase 6, he no longer has as much power within Gorillaz and doesn’t seem as prone to anger and violence as before. In this theory, 2D’s eyes being black has been the result of Murdoc continuously hurting his head to maintain the specific image of 2D that he had when he woke up from his coma, the same image that 2D had when Gorillaz was originally being marketed. For Phase 3, they’re not touring at all, so 2D doesn’t need to keep his black eyes. For Phase 5 and 6 Murdoc is either not present or not attempting to harm 2D. His eyes are white not to show a specific emotional state but because they’re healing since he hasn’t suffered continuous head trauma from Murdoc anymore. While I think this is a more interesting theory that delves into the interesting and fucked up relationship between 2D and Murdoc, I have very clear memories of clips from Murdoc’s radio show while on Plastic Beach. Sometimes 2D would come in and those would end with major fights between the two that included the sound of physical hitting, things being thrown, and 2D making very big dramatic noises that sounded like he was hurt or scared. I can’t imagine that the entire time 2D and Murdoc were stuck on Plastic Beach together, Murdoc didn’t just decide to hit 2D whenever he felt like it which is why this theory also isn’t entirely full proof.

I feel like there’s this great middle ground theory somewhere between the two that actually makes a lot of sense. Because even in Phase 3, despite 2D being believed to have white eyes throughout the entire phase, in the artwork and videos his eyes do go back and forth from black to white and vice versa. This could just be a lack of consistent character design, but it could also be a way of showing 2D’s complexity despite him seeming to gradually be more uwu-fied by the story and fans. I guess I’m going more along the mental state route, but I guess 2D’s eye color could indicate his clarity of mind at the time? Or how focused his mind is? For his eyes to be white is for him to have a focus on a fairly simple singular goal or have a somewhat definitive idea of who he is, what he wants to be, and what he wants to do. He is trapped inside his underwater prison bedroom in Plastic Beach and his eyes are white? His singular goal is getting out but he doesn’t have the ability to because he is worried about the whale seeing him. He’s on Plastic Beach with Murdoc and Cyborg Noodle and his eyes are black? It’s been a while since he’s been on the island, long enough that Murdoc will let him leave the prison bedroom and roam under supervision, and he’s lost looking out into the ocean trapped with Murdoc and a dangerous imitation of someone close to him he thinks is dead and will never get to the see the sunset again, or sing with him, and oh god she would have been an adult and she practically was one compared to the rest of them when she died and Cyborg lacks all her warmth and he can’t tell if it’s better or worse that Murdoc attempted to recreate Noodle at 14 then attempt to create the wonderful adult she could have turned into at 19 and where the fuck is Russel. He’s skating and having the time of his life with Murdoc gone? He’s free and enjoying himself and wow this album that he’ll be a major creative force behind will be amazing and he’ll make sure it is and Noodle and Russel will be there and they’ll all support each other and he can experiment with sound in a way he’s feared to do since Murdoc came into his life. He trips and hits his head but quickly shakes it off and his eyes that briefly turned black are white again? The hit and the somewhat imposing blurry figure of Russel standing over him briefly sent him spiraling back to a place in time he would order not to revisit, but he knows where he is and who he is and while his confidence is shaken, he still knows what’s happening. His eyes are still white as he reaches back down through a portal to a fearful and hopeful Murdoc smiling with outstretched arms because Murdoc’s fear is that he has no use, no power, and has been abandoned to die in the middl of nowhere with the palace he attempted to create long ago and imprisoned 2D in? He knows that Murdoc has been a horrible person and may always to some degree be one and while he will never forget the physical verbal and emotional abuse, he can see Murdoc attempting to be a better person every day and knows that he will never know the person Murdoc could be if he let him die but also that he Stuart 2D Pott is not a killer, and not even Murdoc fucking Niccals will make him be one.

Idk. I feel like there’s so much that could potentially be done with 2D and his eyes and it’s just never fully addressed even though it could easily provide a short hand for understanding his emotions and development and relationships with other characters.

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I have no real interest in Euphoria since I just don't think it's a particularly unique show and it's very obviously directed by white people with bare minimum regard for dark skin characters like McKay. However, based on clips I’ve seen, I think it was just really weird and uncomfortable how Euphoria’s writers decided to retcon Fez’s age so instead of him being 21-22 like he was in the first season (where Nate very specifically insults him by saying Fez dropped out of college at 20) he’s suddenly made 18-19 so he doesn’t seem like super weird and predator-like for flirting with 16-17 year old Lexi. I feel like they just didn’t know what to do with her and decided to put her in a romance when, if they still wanted her to have a connection with Fez, the better option would have been to instead make him an older brother figure who actually listens to her and makes her feel important. Even then I was almost certain that Lexi was going to realize she was a lesbian by like season 2-3 so I would imagine this relationship as a semi-awkward friendship where Fez helps build her confidence and Lexi thinks she’s in love with him because this is the first person to really pay attention to her in years.

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Someone needs to explain to me why the fuck colleges and universities can guarantee 100% funding for undergrads and PhD students who need it but basically say “go fuck yourself” to students looking to get their masters

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I hate that I’m just trying to peacefully go through Encanto fanfics on AO3 and I have to actually filter out incest ships. A) IT’S A FUCKING DISNEY MOVIE B) THE ENTIRE FOCUS OF THE MOVIE IS A FAMILY AND THERE ARE ONLY LIKE TWO CHARACTERS THAT ARE NAMED THAT AREN’T PART OF THE FAMILY AND C) WHY IS EVERYONE TURNING BRUNO INTO AN INCESTUOUS PREDATOR TRYING TO FUCK CAMILO AND MIRABEL!!! Latines finally got one fucking popular Disney movie that was actually extremely sad about the intergenerational trauma suffered by Latin Americans of African and indigenous descent caused by colonizers and their descendants and just a little over a month after it got released there is incestuous pedophilic fanfiction. And I haven’t even gotten into how primarily yt ppl in the fandom have sexualized and adultified characters like Camilo who is a fifteen-year-old boy and very clearly looks like a fifteen-year-old boy or have tried saying that Luisa is a trans woman because she is muscular and has a “masculine” face

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Damn Witcher season 2 really said no fucking homo allowed but we will give you the two messiest chaotic bitches in the world bonding over their mutual love and hatred for their shared ex and feeling of powerlessness. I’d love just an entire season of Yennefer and Jaskier being bitchy frenemies

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While I do feel like there is something to be said for the prevalence of anti blackness and the idea of “pelo malo” in Latin American communities that may have factored into why Isabella “the pretty one” is one of only two people in her family without wavy or curly hair, I feel like it ignores the importance of character design in showing how characters relate to each other. Encanto, while enjoyable, was an hour and a half long movie that attempted to deal with generational trauma between 3 generations of 12 family members and felt rushed in places and didn’t give much time to get to know certain characters much, like Camilo or Félix. Isabela is one of the Madrigals that actually gets a significant amount of screen time besides Mirabel, Bruno, Alma, and Luisa, but you can already tell a lot about her in her first few minutes on screen, one of those being her relationship to Alma.

Isabela is the “golden child”. She is the oldest grandchild, the oldest granddaughter, and the first of the grandchildren to receive a gift. If that isn’t enough, she is the most graceful, the most attention grabbing, and seemingly one of the most appreciated or respected of the grandchildren. By all accounts, Isabela is the one poised to be the next head of the Madrigals. But we can also tell this in her appearance compared to Alma’s. Alma is the only one other person in the family who has straight hair besides Isabela. Alma and Isabela are also the only ones who share colors that border the warm and cool tones of the family. Alma’s dress is pink, but a very cool and deep plum-like color that allows her to be a visual bridge between her children and grandchildren. Everyone else very firmly sticks to red, yellow, orange, blue, green, and deep purple except Isabela, who wear a dress that, depending on the lighting, can be a very pale lavender or pale cool pink. I feel like Isabella’s straight hair and the color she wears throughout most of the movie was a very intentional choice made to infer that it might not only be that Isabella is “the pretty one” or “the golden child” because of her looks, her powers, or the way she acts, but because she is the one who Alma looks at and immediately sees the most of herself in, and others in the village see it. Isabela is also the one who has arguably been one of the other people most willing to sacrifice herself for the family’s image, never allowing her true feelings to show or doing anything that could possibly break her image of perfection, to the point where she gives up her potential for happiness by almost marrying a man she never wanted to make her grandmother happy and fulfill the expectations placed on her.

Again, I’m not saying that anti-blackness and attitudes toward what is called “pelo malo” did not play a role in why Isabela, “the perfect pretty one” has straight hair. But I feel like to say the only reason she has straight hair completely ignores the importance of character design in animated works and it makes it seem like the movie goes out of the way to make it seem as if the other characters with curly hair are viewed as ugly when that’s not the case. There’s never a moment where there is a bad comment about any of the curly haired members of the Madrigals because of their hair or appearance, especially Félix, Antonio, and Dolores who are very visibly black or half black. No ones appearance gets put down, it’s just the Isabela is the one known as the “pretty one”, and boiling it down to “pretty one has straight hair” also ignores that she is arguably the most visibly indigenous person in her whole family and that there is probably a child with the same features as her who has never once seen their features be viewed as beautiful.

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Considering watching West Side Story just bc me, my Nuyorican mother, and my grandmother born and raised in Puerto Rico heard the accents of all the Puerto Rican characters and laughed for five minutes straight about how bad they were

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Ariana Grande really out here collecting races and ethnicities like Ash catching Pokémon

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So I don't see a lot of gender swap fics in the WWDITS fandom, but I’ve found it interesting that the names never seem to change. So I decided to continue this Nandor has forgotten his original name head canon and drag into a genderswap context.

If Nandor was a woman and forgot her first name, I feel like her original name would be Nailah meaning “successful” and after spending so long conquering different parts of Eastern Europe, she probably would've ended up with the name Nella or “light”, which everyone calls her. I feel like Nailah fits with the whole being a conquering warlord since the time they could carry a sword thing and then Nella was probably something that came up from translations and misunderstandings of the name “Nailah” and some long winded explanation of how she glowed as she smiled while conquering and glowed as she burned down the lands she conquered.

Guillermo’s most accurate feminine form would be “Guillermina”, which for fics that involve the de la Cruz family would probably turn into “Mina.” It's not exactly a popular name though, and I think that because of the amount of syllables Guillermina de la Cruz sounds a bit more of a mouthful and a bit clunky. If we were to find something a little shorter that has a similar meaning I think Alejandra “Protector” or “defender of mankind” works. It matches the meaning of Guillermo/Guillermina in “protector” while providing a rather ironic comedic twist in the fact that someone with a name meaning “defender of mankind” is constantly engaging in premeditated murder and luring innocent people towards their death. I think Luisa “warrior” would also be a fun nod to the van Helsing vampire slayer bloodline. I’m not entirely certain of what name I think would work best, but I think something three or four syllables long works and would prefer it have some meaning that goes well with “of the cross” to reference the van Helsing blood and vampire slaying. Extra points if the other de la Cruz members have names like this and she just now realizes all de la Cruz family members are vampire slayers.

For Nadja, I thought Niko or Nikolai would be nice. Nadja means “hope” and she often talks about how her village had been such a wonderful happy beautiful place until Nandor pillaged it, so I feel like the name would reference her and her family’s hope for a better life or that they saw something in Nadja that was unique from her siblings. Niko or Nikolai means “victory/victor” or “the people’s victory/victor” and I feel like it fits as Nadja has always wanted for more power and is very determined in getting something, and to see her moving up in the world despite her upbringing must feel like a victory to her.

I wasn't quite certain how to go about with Laszlo. Laszlo is very staunchly English but his first name is Hungarian and means “glorious ruler”. I figured my best bet were names that showed up in both cultures. I couldn't quite find anything similar to “glorious ruler” although I thought Laura would work as it refers to the laurel plant used to crown victors and rulers in ancient times, and I thought the idea of gender bent Laszlo and Nadja’s names matching each other was rather cute. However, Lara meaning “famous” (Jackie Daytona/all of the pornos Laszlo has done), and “cheerful” (Laszlo often seems like the most wildest and fun seeking of the vampires to me) worked well too.

For Collin Robinson . . . honestly I don't know if I’d change it. I feel like Collin would feast on the anger and frustration of terfs and transphobes and their annoyance and nervousness over the fact that they can't tell if Collin is a very cis looking transmasc or a socially transitioned only transfemme as well as others people nervousness over whether they’re accidentally using the wrong pronouns because Collin won't explain further. However Collin is a Scottish name apparently meaning “victory of the people” and “young one”, which I think is a fun nod to how surprisingly high ranking and famous Collin was as well as the fact that compared to every other vampire he is a baby and is now literally one. The most direct feminine name is Colina or Colleen which is Irish-American and just means “girl” but I feel like some of the fun of Collin is how absurdly boring and uninteresting he is like the fact that his DNA test showed just 100% white with no further explanation, so maybe a name like Jane, Mary, Sue, or Sandy works too. I think Mary-Sue is honestly hilarious.

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@sukurarose92 I hope you have so much fun writing this and thank you! I was talking with my friends about the post and how i was surprised about how popular it was when I decided to see of any of the Nandermo fics I was reading had updated. I saw your fanfic and I read all the way to the author’s note when I saw my name. I squealed and immediately went to tell my friends because of happy I was and how amazing it felt to know something i wrote had so much impact on someone that it became involved in their writing!

Seeing my post about Nandor’s original name blowing up suddenly got me thinking about scenes of my trans man Guillermo de la Cruz headcanon and Nandor the Relentless whose forgotten his original name headcanon having an angsty and heartfelt conversation about forgotten names, dead names, chosen names and the memories and feelings attached to them . . .

But anyways shoutout to @sukurarose92 ! I figured there was a potential that someone would write a fic inspired by my posts but I honestly did not consider it happening less than 24 hours. Everyone, please, its only the first chapter but I love the writing! I’ve always been surprised by the lack of timeline hijinks fanfiction in the fandom considering that three of the four main vampires are hundreds of years old and many are older than them and this really did give me something I wanted to see. Guillermo finds himself 700 years in the past right in the middle of Nandor pillaging a town and I’m so excited for what will end up happening. Read it, give kudos, show your appreciation for fanfic writers like @sukurarose92 .

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Seeing my post about Nandor’s original name blowing up suddenly got me thinking about scenes of my trans man Guillermo de la Cruz headcanon and Nandor the Relentless whose forgotten his original name headcanon having an angsty and heartfelt conversation about forgotten names, dead names, chosen names and the memories and feelings attached to them . . .

But anyways shoutout to @sukurarose92 ! I figured there was a potential that someone would write a fic inspired by my posts but I honestly did not consider it happening less than 24 hours. Everyone, please, its only the first chapter but I love the writing! I’ve always been surprised by the lack of timeline hijinks fanfiction in the fandom considering that three of the four main vampires are hundreds of years old and many are older than them and this really did give me something I wanted to see. Guillermo finds himself 700 years in the past right in the middle of Nandor pillaging a town and I’m so excited for what will end up happening. Read it, give kudos, show your appreciation for fanfic writers like @sukurarose92 .

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To go along with my headcanon that Nandor has actually forgotten his original name (the name Nandor is Hungarian, he often mispronounces names including the name of his beloved horse Jahan as John, has forgotten almost all Persian, strangely cannot find information about himself despite the fact that for all accounts he should be a well known and documented figure if not in historical accounts at least in Persian and Eastern European folklore and mythology, and has spent the last several hundred years travelling from Eastern to Western Europe where most people probably mispronounced his Persian name and the closest equivalent they referred to him as was Nandor) I decided to list names I thought would work well as his original name.

I wanted it to match up with Guillermo whose name actually tells us a lot about him. Guillermo means “Protector” which actually really suits his character since so much of his time has been spent protecting, caring, and providing for our wonderful vampires. While not as acknowledged he has also protected his mom and other family who know pretty much nothing about the vampires because he doesn’t want them to and probably doesn’t want them unnecessarily involved in a dangerous life. He has also protected himself from the realization that his loyalty to Nandor may have more to it than his want to be a vampire. Guillermo also means “will” or “desire” and I feel like that matches how passionate Guillermo is and how he constantly strives to do his best to reach his goals. So let's get into the list.

1) Namdar/Namvar - “Famous/Well known” or “one who will be famous/ well-known”. I feel like this works well for Nandor because not only does it sound similar, but it would explain why Nandor is especially saddened when hearing that he is actually not very known or feared. To have a name like this, it feels like your destined for greatness or to do great things and in his human life, and probably some of his earlier vampire life, Nandor definitely did do things that should have made him great or well known or remembered in some manner. I feel like this sense of instilled greatness might also contribute to some of Nandor sense of ennui and anger and disappointment with his current vampire life. To be great or well known and have been such a success as Nandor had should give you some sense of life and purpose and happiness and all of that has been drained out of him over hundreds of years, and he now looks around and sees himself with none of his lands and followers and descendants, living in a house in a fairly insignificant (power wise) part of NYC and the US as a whole, having to share what little power he has with one of many annoying roommates.

2) Nadir - “Beloved” or “Uncommon”. I feel like it kind of pairs well with Guillermo because what would a protector protect and fight for more than their beloved. Also, it reflects that part of what Nandor has been seeking is a sense of community or belonging or companionship that he feels he lacks as a vampire who doesn't really want to be a vampire, someone who's homeland doesn't really exist anymore and doesn't seem to have anyone else around who remembers it, someone who seems to find the people he lives with amusing and entertaining at best and so frustrating and annoying that he wants to kill them at worst, as someone who has been unlucky in love, and as someone who was particularly shaken when one of the stable constants in his life (Guillermo) was suddenly gone. He wants to be beloved or be someone beloved and doesn't feel he is and probably can't remember when he ever was. The “uncommon” could reflect how he is an anomaly among vampires as one who actively tried to become human because of his dissatisfaction with life as a vampire. It can also be read as a positive or a negative as something that is uncommon can be seen as rare or precious which reflects his pursuit of power and greatness in his early years, but can also be seen as strange or weird, reinforcing this idea of himself as an oddity that can't be someone’s beloved.

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The whiplash of years of gaslighting from show runners and not being allowed to ask any questions about a gay ship in the Supernatural fandom to having one of the actors from What We Do in the Shadows publicly show fanart of the ship his character is in making out with the other half of the ship on his Instagram