poorlittlegreenie13 - Tumblr blog

[poorlittlegreenie13]

this is good

James and Regulus meeting when they both get trapped in an elevator. Over the course of 3 hours, James calms Regulus from a panic attack, Regulus calms James from a panic attack, they pace around, play ice breakers, etc etc and finally kiss but they both eventually get cell service back and find out both of their emergency calls are to Sirius and realize who the other is

[poorlittlegreenie13]

Lottie <33

[poorlittlegreenie13]

You’re telling me Taissa was worried enough about Natalie to send her to rehab multiple times & say “who does Natalie have?” so sadly. But she didn’t check up on Van who was living alone, not paying her bills, not healthy, not happy ONCE… I DON’T BELIEVE IT. That kind of love doesn’t fade 😭.

[poorlittlegreenie13]

Yes I’ve been saying!!!! Jackie was in love with Shauna, Shauna was the repressed comp-het one!!!

Jackie who knew she was a lesbian.

Jackie who had been in love with shauna for as long as she could remember.

jackie who hid her feelings behind her mediocre boyfriend.

jackie who spent every day wishing shauna would notice her feelings

jackie who didn’t care that her boyfriend cheated on her but shouldn’t handle the thought of shauna with someone else

jackie who felt a pang of hope when she saw tai and van together at the dance.

jackie who wished she could be angry at shauna

jackie who loved shauna regardless

jackie who fell asleep in the snow wishing that shauna should come and bring her inside

jackie who would have come inside if shauna asked

jackie who would do anything if shauna asked, even stay outside in the cold and freeze.

jackie who’s last thoughts were of shauna

jackie who would haunt shauna forever as long as she got to be with her

jackie who would let shauna consume her if she wanted to, if it meant shauna would live.

jackie who wanted to be consumed by shauna

jackie who knew she wanted shauna, who loved shauna, who lived and breathed shauna.

jackie who would rather die than for shauna to find out.

[poorlittlegreenie13]

& just like that a Google doc magically opens on my computer

i hate that i let this drag on so long, now i hate myself

[poorlittlegreenie13]

“You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me”

[poorlittlegreenie13]

i dont “have ptsd” that’s all just the wizard’s curse

[poorlittlegreenie13]

Me when I fought in the Jesslupe trenches

There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

[poorlittlegreenie13]

hiiii i just wanted to say that i love your fic “let the light in” and i would not be opposed to reading more if you ever thought to add to it or anything taivan related really!!! (i also LOVE the hunger games au)

This is so sweet, thank you!! I’m fond of that fic too even though it’s not that popular! The world needs more Tai/Van fics. I don’t think I’ll add to that one, but I definitely want to write more Tai/Van-centric stories in the future (I’ll probably write the knight/princess one I posted about on here eventually). When I finish the two long fics I’m currently working on, maybe I’ll write a longTai/Van fic, cause we need more of those!!

[poorlittlegreenie13]

a very unsettling plate found in Cracow, Poland

[poorlittlegreenie13]

I relate to Nancy Wheeler such a normal amount. My sexual awakening certainly did not instill the amount of shame & guilt in me that one might feel if they’d inadvertently left a close friend to die. I also did not spend high school basing my self worth solely around male attention and my 3.9 GPA. I can express my feelings when sober & do not use alcohol to have difficult conversations. 😊.

[poorlittlegreenie13]

lesbian visibility week!! gonna draw a sapphic ship a day :)

starting with my girls Robin and Nancy of stranger things <3333

(i forgot monday and then forgot to post this one outside of twitter yesterday but its the thought that cOUNTS!!)

[poorlittlegreenie13]

So good!!!! Such talent!!!

sapphic ship a day for lesbian visibility week!!

today is tai and van from yellowjacket <3

vans scars on the wrong side bc i didnt realise i was drawing on a flipped canvas pls 😭

[poorlittlegreenie13]

Taivan dynamic is so much more painful if you think they were just hooking up pre-crash, not involving their emotions at all, just Van who was pretty easy to clock as gay & Tai who wanted to kiss a girl and thought Van wouldn’t mind.

Like if pre-crash, they never thought about being anything more than teammates who sometimes made out in the empty locker room. Then everything changed in the wilderness when all of a sudden there wasn’t a society full of bigots all around them and both of them were able to explore their sexualities & feelings for each other pretty much without judgement.

I personally look at their relationship as only happening because of those factors — before the crash, I don’t think Tai ever would’ve thought of confessing her feelings for Van. We see her cutting her hair in season one, seemingly getting more comfortable with being a bit more masc (similarly, in season two, after she leaves Simone she stops doing her makeup and starts dressing in progressively more masculine clothing). Essentially we know that when Taissa is out of “public” view & with Van, she stops performing femininity as much. So I feel like her ability to really be with Van was entirely dependent on the perceived safety of their isolated wilderness society. I focus on Taissa in this mostly because Van appears more comfortable with gender expression, as well as with romantically pursuing Taissa, whereas Tai seems to occasionally hesitate. We also know from Ally’s pre-crash comment about Van not being asked to prom that Van was probably either clocked as gay at school or just thought of as unromantic, whereas I think Tai would’ve had a much easier time passing for straight.

And in that way, it’s like a relationship that was formed entirely in the controlled environment of the wilderness. I cannot imagine coming to terms with your sexuality as a teen, going through the entire process of cutting your hair, publicly coming out to all your friends, and experiencing all your queer milestones, only to be rescued and returned to a place where you were still thought of as straight. Like, Tai and Van were sleeping in bed together every night, kissing in public, making little “happy wife, happy life” comments to their friends, and just generally being gay together. And then they would’ve returned to the 1990’s where that kind of queer love would’ve been, at the very least, unusual & surprising. It’s not difficult to imagine this driving them apart. But it is really heartbreaking to imagine the two of them being separated immediately upon being rescued & the realization they must’ve both had that they couldn’t stick together anymore without outing themselves.

[poorlittlegreenie13]

you all sleep on russian artists

Whenever I see an Ivan Aivazovski painting the sea monster in me goes absolutely feral

[poorlittlegreenie13]

I NEED to know how Van handled Tai marrying Simone. Did Tai call to tell her?? Was she happy for a second to see Taissa's name lighting up her phone? Did she think, just for a second, that Tai actually wanted to speak to her? Actually wanted to see her? Or did Did Shauna tell her, or someone else all together?? Did she read about it in a newspaper?? Does she have a google alert set up for Tai's name?? Did she see it totally by surprise, going about her day, until she read the news and broke down?? No matter the circumstances, it must've caught her off guard how absolutely fucking terrible it made her feel, right? She must've crumpled to pieces in an empty video store, barely managing to flip the sign to 'closed' before she stumbled upstairs and landed in her bed so she could just cry and sleep and cry and sleep for days. Did she get drunk? Did she think about calling Natalie for something stronger? Did she think about crashing the wedding in a suit and objecting? Did she have drunken fantasies of whisking Taissa away to New York City and taking her on a carriage ride through midtown?? Did she almost smile imagining it until reality came crashing back down on top of her?? Is that when she fully cut herself off from the others? Is that when she gave up on getting Tai back? Stopped thinking of her and Tai as 'us' and started thinking of Taissa as something she actually, irrevocably lost? Did she scour the internet for wedding pictures? Did she masochistically beg Shauna to send her updates throughout the entire ceremony? All of Taissa's vows, what she was wearing, what song they danced to? Did she think about running straight into the first forest she could find, into woods deep enough that she couldn't hear the cars on the highway or see the glint of streetlights behind her? To a place where pain made sense and life was simple? Did she wish she could go back to the second floor of that cabin, sleep with Taissa's wrist tied to hers, shivering in the frigid cold of the worst winter she's ever lived through? I NEED TO KNOW. Did anybody come looking for her? Maybe one of the baby gays she took under her wing who noticed the store had been closed for weeks? Did Shauna call her? Or did she just lay there feeling sorry for herself until she realized nothing was going to change? Did she watch as Taissa's first anniversary passed, then her second, then her third. Did she watch Taissa's son make headlines in the backs of local newspapers? Wilderness survivor turned politician welcomes first child with lauded doctor of comparative literature. Did she buy political magazines that interviewed Taissa, rereading brief soundbites about Simone being the love of her life, the reason she gets up in the morning? Did she watch campaign adds with Simone and Taissa smiling into the camera together?? Did it ever stop hurting??? (Obviously it didn't). BUT I NEED TO KNOW.