princestxrm

[princestxrm]

3 A.M - Prinxiety

Summary: Virgil decides to make coffee, on his way to the kitchen he finds Roman crying

Virgil sighed getting out of bed, he turned his phone on to look at the time, it was 3 a.m and he still couldn't sleep, he wasn't even anxious, he just couldn't sleep, his brain wouldn't shut up, but not in a bad way, he just kept thinking about a certain someone… And it was embarrassing.He turned his phone off and put it in his pocket, he decided that if he wasn't going to sleep he might as well get some coffee and resume his research about spirits and the paranormal.As Virgil walked into the living room he heard sobbing and sniffling coming from the couch, he slowly walked closer to find Roman hugging his knees and crying "What are you doing crying on the couch?" He asked Roman flinched quickly sitting up and wiping his tears with his hands "Virgil! What are you doing here?" He asked back in the most normal tone of voice he could manage at the moment "You didn't answer my question, I asked you one first" Virgil replied sitting next to Roman "Oh! Right! Apologies…" Roman replied "I should retire to my room" he continued standing up, Roman doesn't always talk that way, unless he is exaggerating or really upset at something and trying to reflect… That was one of the little things Virgil learned from being around him all the time, it was helpful "Roman" Virgil grabbed his arm "Sit down," he said firmly, Roman did "I'm fine…" Roman murmured  "No, you are not. I can tell you are upset about something…" "I am not," Roman said refusing to look at Virgil in the eyes "Why were you crying then? I doubt you cry when you are feeling 'fine'... Do you?" Virgil questioned  Roman didn't reply, he stared at his hands intensely, he was so angry now, for no reason, and it apparently showed on his face since Virgil began to brush Roman's hair slowly with his fingers, like a gentle massage, Virgil usually only does this when he needs to calm him down, Roman always adores this little gesture, he visibly relaxes and Virgil giggles "You love that, don't you?" Roman nods letting Virgil continue "Roman… I need you to tell me what's wrong"  Roman shakes his head, he didn't want to tell Virgil why he was upset, it's honestly stupid and "It’s embarrassing" Roman said "It can't be that bad…" Virgil replied "You know you can trust me, right? I'll love you no matter what, plus, it can't be that bad…" Roman didn't reply, so Virgil continued "You want to know something embarrassing about me?" He asked, Roman, nodded "I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about you…" he admitted hiding his blushing face with both his hands "It's dumb, I know" Roman shook his head "It's cute" he whispered softly smiling at Virgil "Now, can you tell me what's wrong?" "Hug?" Roman asked and Virgil nodded pulling Roman into a hug then he started playing with his hair once again "Virgil… am I dumb?" He asked, his voice sounded so soft and sad... "Of course not! Why would you think that?"  "Because Janus and Logan always laugh at me…"  Virgil sighed "They don't think you are dumb…" "Then why do they laugh at me or mock me every time I try to help?" "I don't know…" "I love them, they are my friends, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt…" Roman's voice was breaking now, he was on the verge of tears "I know exactly what you mean, Roman…" It's true, Virgil knew all too well the feeling of wanting to be liked by others but not really understanding what they expected from you "You are not dumb… You are actually really smart" "I am?" Roman softly asked "Of course you are! Dude… You know so much about roman and greek mythology! You are a great artist, an amazing writer, and an even better singer and actor!" Virgil exclaimed, "I admire you!"  Roman started laughing, but it was a sad kind of laugh mixed with sobbing "Stop lying" he said "...I'm not lying" Virgil replied in shock "Roman, you are perfect," he said pulling away from the hug and now staring at Roman who was desperately crying without even being able to speak "Oh, Roman…" Roman gave up and abruptly placed his head onto Virgil's chest "I'm a mess… Sorry" "Don't apologize, I love you" Virgil whispered "I love you too…" Roman replied in between sobs "You know what's gonna make you feel better?" Virgil asked "A Disney movie!"  "Cuddles…"  "And cuddles, of course" "Kisses?" Roman asked Virgil giggled "And kisses too" he replied, pressing his lips onto Roman's forehead "Lips!" Roman said pointing to his lips demandingly, Virgil huffed out a laugh and pressed his lips onto Roman's, this made Roman blush unbelievably "Thank you" he whispered "No need to thank me, your highness" Virgil giggled "Now, I'm going to make coffee, you want tea?" "Cinnamon tea, please…" "On it!" Virgil said standing up to walk to the kitchen, although Roman grabbed his arm to stop him "Befire you go, thank you… You always help me feel better” Virgil smiled at the soft touch “That’s because you mean the world to me” Thanks for reading! <3

Please support my other work

[princestxrm]

The witch and the prince | Chapter 1: The prince and the flowers

Summary: Virgil, Janus and Remus are witches who ran away after being discovered, Roman is still looking for his brother after 3 years.

Note: Hey, hope you enjoy this, I have not decided if I will continue this. If people like it I might continue it

Virgil sat on the grass surrounded by kids carefully listening to him "And that's how the prince managed to kill the snake and regain his throne!" He exclaimed 

"Vee, please tell us another story!" One of the kids exclaimed

"Maybe tomorrow," Virgil glanced to the side to see a very strange guy collecting flowers "You kids should head back home, your parents might start getting worried" He smiled, all the kids stood up and waved goodbye, he saw them disappear into the woods in direction to the village, he slowly stood up to confront the very strange man "Hey! What are you doing with MY flowers?" He asked, the guy quickly turned back to look at him letting his hood fall back to reveal his face "Prince Roman!?" Virgil said falling to the ground "Your majesty, I'm so sorry!" 

Roman extended his hand to help him get up "Please, just call me, Roman." Virgil looked at his hand and decided to accept the help, he had to admit it, he was even more handsome up close than from far away

"What are you doing here, prin- Roman?" Virgil asked wiping away the dirt from his pants "It's too late for someone like you to be outside without any guards" 

Roman giggled a little bit "I escaped from the castle" He smiled "Anyway, these are your flowers aren't they?"

"Yes, they are, and I'd love for you to stop stealing them" 

The prince smiled "These are so pretty, what do you use them for?" 

"For.. I mean, for tea, we use them to make tea" Virgil answered anxiously

"For what kind of spells?" Roman curiously smiled "Anyway, you are Anxiety, the witch right?" He continued realizing his first question wasn't going to get an answer

"I'm not a witch!" Virgil exclaimed, "If your father sent you here to try to get me to confess, I won't!" Virgil yelled while backing away ready to run

"Oh, no, no, no!" Roman realized how bad it may have looked for the prince to talk to a rumored witch like this "I wasn't sent here by my father nor was I looking for you, I swear!"

His concerned look seemed genuine enough for Virgil to not run away "Then why are you here?" He asked not letting his guard down

"I wanted to go for a walk, living in the castle is very stressful, I barely get any privacy!" Roman exclaimed 

"I don't believe that's all you are doing here" 

"I have a sword" Roman moved his hood revealing a sword on his belt "If someone sent me here to kill you, I would have done so already" 

"So, if you really escaped from the castle…" A realization came to Virgil "Aren't the guards looking for you?"

"Uh… probably, I don't know"

"Ok, I'm sorry, Princey, but you need to leave, now." Virgil pointed towards the village "If you don't, we'll both get in trouble" 

"But- I-" Roman tried to speak but Virgil started pushing him towards the woods, the flowers he had on his hands fell down

"No "buts" or "ifs" if they see you talking to me they are probably going to burn me at the stake"

"Listen, witch… Anxiety, whoever you are, I may need your help" The prince let out loudly 

"With what?" Virgil stopped pushing Roman so he could listen to him

"I need to find my brother" 

"Why would I know where your brother is?" Virgil asked 

"You are a witch, he ran away after he was discovered practicing magic, you probably know where to find him."

"No I don't, I don’t know every witch ev-" Virgil was interrupted by someone's voice 

"Virgil! Where are you?" It was Janus calling for him

"You need to go, now." Virgil firmly said grabbing a couple of flowers from the ground "Here, take the flowers, but just leave"

"Virgil's your name isn't it?" Roman softly smiled "It's weird, but I really like it"

Virgil felt his face beginning to feel hot "Just, just… Leave!" He yelled

"Will I ever see you again?" The prince smiled 

"Maybe, I don't know" Virgil hid his face with his hoodie as he walked in the opposite direction to the prince

Roman walked all the way to the castle alone, taking in the beauty of every flower, tree, and animal, he couldn't get out the thought of that witch he met, he had heard rumors of a coven, and a witch named "Anxiety" who could give people extreme feelings of paranoia and uneasiness at their will, but he never thought he'd be so charming, after getting to the castle and being scolded by his father for his actions he got to his room and grabbed a vase, filled it up with water and placed the flower inside it, he was definitely going to talk to that guy again.

Virgil ran back home, he quickly opened the door and announced "Remus, your brother's looking for you"

Remus stopped chewing on the stick he had on his mouth "What?"

"I just talked to the prince, to Roman, he's looking for you"  Virgil explained quickly taking off his hood

"What were you doing talking to the prince? Is that what took you so long?" Janus angrily asked

"I was telling stories to the kids and then I saw him stealing some of my flowers…"

"Were the guards with him?" Remus asked 

"No, he escaped from the castle"

"Well at least, he doesn't know you are a witch"

"Actually…" Virgil murmured

"Oh for fuck's sake! Virgil, did you tell him?" Janus asked

"No! he kinda knew… Probably because they are still looking for me" Virgil sighed "Why can't they just let it go? I'm sick of hiding! It's been a year!"

"Ha, they’ve been looking for me for 3 years, you’ll get used to it” Remus was being surprisingly chill about it

“But, you are…  Well, were a prince, I’m a nobody, they don’t need me, why are they still looking for me?” 

“Are you really ok, with this? Remus, your brother’s looking for you, do you realize what this means?” Remus stared and shrugged “that they might take you away”

“I know” he replied, “But what can we do about it?”

“Not much” Janus stared at Remus with a sad face, if they were to find Remus they don’t know what they’d do with him, he is a prince after all, but given the fact, his father started this witch hunt, then Janus doubts he’ll be merciful “we could move even further away”

Remus and Virgil jumped “No way!” they both yelled in unison, “I tell stories to kids every friday, and what about the garden? We can’t leave, Janus!”

“You are right… I guess as long as we can keep the invisibility spell on the house, we are fine”

|Next|

Thanks for reading! <3 Please support my other work

[princestxrm]

At Least We Are In This Together

AO3 link

Pairing: Platonic prinxiety, eventually romantic, but in this one-shot is just platonic.

Tw: Arranged marriage, accidental misgendering, accidental use of deadname, mentions of transphobia (Please tell me if I’m missing one)

Summary: Prince Roman, or as others know him "Princess Valentina" and prince Virgil have been arranged to marry each other in a few months, they may seem vastly different, but they have something in common, neither of them wants to get married.

Roman walked up to Virgil’s door; he had never been to his room since he got to the castle, but Roman hadn’t seen Virgil the whole day, and the sobbing coming from the mysterious place didn’t cease his concerns, “Prince Virgil?” Roman asked knocking; he didn’t get a reply, maybe Virgil didn’t hear him, would it be wrong if he just opened the door? I mean, Virgil’s the man he’s marrying, against both of their wills though, but it would still be invading his privacy... Roman took a deep breath and decided that he was going to take a chance, maybe Virgil needed help, who knew? Certainly not Roman, he hesitantly opened the door to find Virgil on the ground, hugging his knees and sobbing.

“Virgil-” Roman quickly let out.

"Princess Valentina," Virgil exclaimed in surprise, looking up at Roman's concerned expression.

Roman tried to ignore how hurtful it was to hear that title and that name; he should've been used to it by now since this is how he has been referred to his entire life, but it still feels off… He figured out why it 'felt off' a few years ago, he isn't a woman, and this is precisely why they are both in this whole arranged marriage deal in the first place, he ignored these thoughts and decided to concentrate on what was happening with Virgil "What's wrong?" He softly asked kneeling in front of him 

"Oh, it's nothing" Virgil wiped his tears with his forearm. "It's just a little panic attack, nothing new" he huffed out a laugh as if it were a funny thing.

"Prince Virgil…" 

"Just call me, Virgil or Virge," Virgil interrupted. "I hate my royal title" Well, that makes two of them, probably not because of the same reason, though.

"Well, Virge" Roman continued, "Since I'm your soon to be wife," that word made Roman shiver, "I think I should let you know that if you need to talk to someone, I'm always here for you…" You know, the thing you are supposed to tell someone who's struggling, but at the end of the day you don't honestly mean it "no judgment" he added

"You don't want to marry me, do you?" Virgil asked

"Do you want me to be honest or-?" 

Virgil sighed, "please," he whispered.

"Ok, well…" Roman began sitting next to Virgil and crossing his legs "In all honesty, no, I don't."

"I don't want to marry you either…" Virgil said, laying down, "We've bearly even talked to each other… We are still young, and I don't…" Virgil hesitated, but took a deep breath and continued "I don't want to marry a woman" he quickly sat up to look at Roman

"Oh-" Roman let out 

"I'm gay…" Virgil said "God, that feels weird to say out loud" a panicked little laughter escaped his lips, he was ready for Roman to shout out him awful words and leave, probably go tell their parents and cancel the wedding or something like that, not that he would mind canceling the wedding, but there were more cons than pros to that, Roman instead sat quietly with a pained expression on his face 

"Not a woman…" Roman managed to let out

Virgil didn't understand what he was trying to say, "What?" He asked 

"I am not a woman," Roman replied this time loud and clear.

"Wait. What?" Virgil's panicked expression said it all

"I'm trans," Roman said staring at Virgil for a reaction other than sheer panic, Virgil was right, it did feel weird to say something like that out loud, he wasn't supposed to tell Virgil or anyone that, but it had just slipped out… 

"I've been misgendering you this whole time?" Virgil asked with panic in his wide eyes, "God. I am so sorry, why didn't you tell me sooner? What are your pronouns?" Virgil quickly spoke 

What was Roman supposed to tell him? It’s peculiar for someone to ask for his pronouns in the first place, people always assumed he was a girl "Well…" Roman didn't know whether to lie about the reason for him not telling Virgil earlier or to be honest…. The truth was awful, "Well… I didn't tell you sooner because I wasn't supposed to and my pronouns are he, him" I guess we are going with the truth then.

"What do you mean you weren't supposed to?" Virgil asked 

"My parents are making me marry you to fix that…" he said, fidgeting with his hands nervously. "They think that if I marry you, I'll stop 'thinking I'm a man'..." 

Virgil stared at Roman, surprised, "I- dude, that's fucked up!" He exclaimed 

"Well, yeah, but there's not much I can do about it…" he shrugged.

 They sat in silence for a few seconds, trying to sort out their thoughts "Do you have a name?" Virgil finally asked

Roman flinched at the question; it was the first time someone had asked him that. He did have a name, it matched with his brother's, but would be telling Virgil be the right thing to do? He could end up telling his parents, and that'd be a fiasco "Roman," he firmly replied.

"Roman…" Virgil repeated, the name felt nice coming out of his mouth "Well, then, Roman, maybe we should make a deal."

Roman smiled at Virgil using his name; it felt great, "A deal?" He asked

"We don't love each other, I don't want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you, even if you are a man, I don't love you, and I suppose the same goes for you."

Roman knew he needed to feel some sort of bad feeling at that moment since he was being told his soon to be husband didn't love him, but being referred to as a man over shined that uncertain feeling about his future "It does" he agreed. 

"Then, we get married, and go our different ways while pretending to be together for the rest of our lives!" Virgil let out a little panicked giggle. "It's the best we can do, so, deal?" He said extending his hand to Roman

"Deal," Roman shook Virgil's hand. “At least we are in this together,” he said with a painful smile and sad eyes.

Virgil sadly smiled back “Yeah…” he sighed

At least they are in this together.

Thanks for reading! <3 Please support my other work

[princestxrm]

Late Night Thoughts - Demus

Trigger warnings in the tags, please tell me if I need to add more

Summary: Remus can't sleep and as a result of that Janus can't either, Janus realizes what is going on and decides to help his boyfriend in the best way his sleepy self can think of.

Janus closed his eyes trying to fall asleep, but it was impossible, he felt how Remus would move around constantly changing his position, it was driving him crazy, but he decided to not say anything and continue to try and fall asleep, after a few minutes of trying to, he gave up "Remus…" he whispered in an obviously annoyed tone of voice.

"Sorry, Dee Dee, I can't sleep…" he apologized in his normal speaking voice, he didn't even bother to whisper, this made Janus' ears hurt, he had already gotten used to the silence in the room, only eventually hearing the wind hit the trees outside making relaxing noises and Remus' breaths every once in a while "Hey, Dee!" Remus said loudly breaking the silence he had once allowed to exist "What do you think would happen if I rip my heart out of my chest?"

Janus managed to let out a small "Oh…" he now understood what was going on

"Or what face do you think Roman would make if I were to put poison in his food? Or what about-?"

"Honey," Janus began sleepily "is that why you haven't been able to sleep?" He questioned

"Yeah! Maybe, I don't know!" Remus cheerfully replied, he acted as if his intrusive thoughts didn't bother him, but Janus knew they did, he had been there comforting him when he would start crying and asking if he was a bad person, scared of hurting someone he cared about, scared of himself, it broke Janus' heart, Janus always noticed how when Remus would stare at a sharp object his eyes would widen as if he were surprised by the thought that just went through his head, or when he asked him to cook together he would just watch Janus, too scared to touch anything and accidentally hurt him, he knew how Remus felt…

"My dear…" Janus softly spoke, "Would you do me a favor and hug me?" Remus was taken aback from this request, especially in a moment like this, but he  certainly couldn't deny something like this to his boyfriend, he turned to his side and grabbed Janus' waist hugging him close "Now, tell me more about your intrusive thoughts"

"Why?" Remus whispered confused, Janus was glad he whispered it otherwise that would've hurt considering Remus was right next to his ear

"It'll help you…"

"Are you sure you want to hear all those awful stuff?" Remus asked softly

"Yes, I am sure, love, you were telling me anyway"

"...True" Remus admitted, he quickly gave up, he talked about his intrusive thoughts for what seemed for at least fifteen minutes, he talked about how his brain kept telling him to hurt himself or others, how it kept telling him to do awful things he genuinely doesn't want to, Janus tried his best to stay awake, he felt so tired, but he didn't want to just sleep and leave Remus like this, so he listened to Remus ramble until he heard a yawn and Remus not bothering to continue his sentence, Janus smiled knowing Remus had probably stopped talking out of tiredness, he turned to look at his sleepy boyfriend and kissed him in the head whispering a small "I love you" as he buried his face in Remus' chest ready to fall asleep.

---

Thanks for reading! Please, support my other work

[princestxrm]

Would you miss me? - Roman angst

Cw: Suicidal thoughts, mentions of ways to commit suicide, and Virgil being kind of accidentally unsympathetic, but that wasn't the intention behind it, implied prinxiety(? it can be seen as either platonic or romantic

Summary: Roman asks Virgil an important question "Would you miss me if I were to die?"...

I wasn't feeling my best when I wrote this, I haven't been feeling good at all for a while, so this might not be the best...  

All the sides were sitting down on the table eating dinner as per usual, except today Roman seemed awfully quiet, which is extremely unusual for the prince, he always seemed to have a story, opinion or comment to share with the others.

Virgil sighed turning his head to look at Roman who was just staring at his plate of food and stabbing the vegetables with his fork "You ok there, dude?" He asked

Roman flinched at the question "Uh, yeah, yeah… I'm fine, just thinking" he lied

"About what?"

"Everything…" Roman sighed

"Are you still mad about what Janus said?" Patton softly asked

Roman's grasp on the fork tightened "No" he lied again, this time being obvious to the others

"You know he didn't really mean it… Right?"

Roman sighed and Virgil gave Patton the 'stop talking' look

"Well, ok then, let's change the subject!" Patton smiled "So, Logan, how's your day been?"

Logan quietly looked at Patton quite surprised at the question "It's been quite all right, how has your day been, Patton?" He figured Patton didn't really care about how his day actually went, he just needed to start a conversation.

"Actually, really good! I was watching this video about cats and…" Patton's voice started to fade, Roman could only hear his own breathing at that point, his head hurt and his heart felt like it was about to run out of his chest, he felt someone touching his shoulder and suddenly his hearing came back

"Roman, Patton asked how your day's been," Virgil said concerned

His day had been awful, his thoughts were as loud as ever and he just wanted to end it all, but he couldn't really tell them that, could he? "Oh, it's been… Okay, I guess… Thanks for asking"

Virgil and Patton shared a concerned glance, Roman just focused on his food, Logan and Patton continued to talk, Logan seemed to be more quiet than usual, but still replied to Patton's comment the same way he always did, it just felt forced to Roman, like Logan didn’t really want to be there, he couldn’t blame him though, he himself didn’t want to be there either, Virgil just ate and eventually chimed in to make his usual snarky remarks

"Virge…" Roman pulled the sleeve of Virgil's hoodie to grab his attention, Logan and Patton weren't paying attention to them, they were instead chatting about Thomas adopting a pet, or something like that, Roman wasn't paying attention to what they were saying either.

"Yeah, what's wrong, Ro?" Virgil softly asked

"Would you miss me if I were to die?" Roman asked

"What?" Virgil looked surprised at the question "Die? How? You are a side Roman, you can't die, at least there's no way that I know of" he replied in a relaxed manner “If I knew how I would’ve tried it a long time ago” he snickered

"I can stop doing my job and slowly disappear"

"Ducking out? I already tried that," Virgil looked at Logan and Patton "trust me, they wouldn't let you"

Roman sighed "What about suicide?"

"Dude, isn't that kind of the same as ducking out?"

"...I guess" Roman thought for a moment "I mean, like hanging yourself or slitting your wrist, something like that"

"We are sides, I doubt that'd work," Virgil thought for a moment "Maybe I should try and see if it works sometimes" he laughed and continued to calmly eat his food

Roman didn't like the fact that Virgil wasn't taking him seriously and was instead making jokes and laughing about it, but no one ever takes him seriously, so why does it matter now? "Would you miss me?" He questioned again, Virgil just stared "Would you miss me if I killed myself?"

"Roman, are you serious?" Virgil now looked more concerned than ever, Roman didn't reply "Roman, please tell me you are kidding" Virgil took a deep breath "I thought you were kidding, I'm-"

"What's wrong?" Logan asked realizing the other two were having a conversation that seemed to be upsetting both of them

Virgil was about to reply but Roman interrupted him by smiling at Logan and happily replying with "Nothing! Everything's a-ok, Lo!"

Patton smiled back "I'm glad, kiddo!" he replied

"Well, this was an astonishing conversation, Patton,” Logan began standing up “but I need to finish some stuff if you don't mind," he continued

"Yeah, I need to go do some stuff too, see you all later, it's your time to wash the dishes, by the way, Virgil!" Patton exclaimed leaving the room with Logan in front of him, Virgil sighed at the realization that it was, in fact, his turn to do so.

Roman turned to look at Virgil after both of them left the room, his eyes went from happy and full of life to dull and empty in seconds, Virgil obviously realized this "I thought you were kidding..."

"You always think that…" he muttered, "I thought I could talk to you because I thought you would understand"

"I'm sorry" Virgil sighed thinking of a way to approach this  "Roman, I don't know if there's a way aside can die, aside from slowly disappearing after you stop doing your job, I think it's impossible for any of us to die" Roman looked annoyed at the explanation "Do you really want to die?"

"Yes," Roman replied without a second thought

"Roman you are a prince! You are supposed to confront your problems, fight back, not run an away from them"

"That's the problem, everyone keeps telling me what I'm supposed to do, who I'm supposed to be, am I not good enough?" Roman's voice was shaky, he was clearly about to cry

"That's not what I meant!" Virgil nervously clarified "It's just that… Running away from your problems isn't always the best solution… I’m sorry, Roman, I don’t really know what to say” he apologized

"It’s ok, Virge” Roman weakly smiled, he didn’t get an answer to his question, was Virgil just telling him all these things to avoid feeling guilty for his death or was it because he genuinely cared? Probably the first option...

“Also, what would Thomas do without you?” Virgil softly smiled “You are his creativity!”

“He has Remus.”

“Yeah, but Remus is… You know, Remus.”

“He would do a much better job than I do, and… We are honestly not that different, Janus said it himself”

Virgil looked at the ground trying to think of a comforting answer to give Roman, he took a deep breath “I don’t really know what to do to help you, Roman…”

“Help me die?”

“No, no! Help you not feel this way…” He sighed “I don’t know how to help you, but you need to understand you are an important part of Thomas, you can’t just leave us…” He looked at the ground and grabbed Roman’s hand “You can’t leave me”

Roman softly smiled at the gesture, this time it was a genuine smile, not a fake or forced one “I won’t leave you, but that doesn’t mean my thoughts are just going to go away” Roman realized how much easier it was for him to talk about this with Virgil, he wasn’t even crying, imagine trying to tell Patton he didn’t want to live anymore, that would be chaotic

“We are all part of Thomas, as much as I hate to admit it, Janus is just as important as any of us…”

“But he lied and manipulated us”

“I wasn’t perfect either, but with time and your help, I changed, I learned and grew…” Virgil took a deep breath “What I’m trying to say is that I am living proof that people can change, and as much as I don’t like him… At all, maybe giving him an opportunity isn’t a bad idea"

“But, I did give him an opportunity, and he used me… Again" he took a shaky breath, "He told me he loved me, he made me feel special, and as soon as he got what he wanted… He Compares me to my brother and calls me evil"

Virgil sadly smiled and grabbed Roman's hand "Roman… I'm sorry" he softly said

Roman looked at him confused "Why are you sorry?" He asked

"Because I didn't protect you" Virgil sadly looked at the ground "Roman" he firmly said as he looked up and cupped Roman's face with both of his hands "listen to me, we need you, I need you… so, please don't leave me… Because I-" Virgil thought for a while looking at Roman’s face, he had such pretty green eyes, they looked so sad… Roman's face felt hot, was he blushing? “I love you, Roman…You are amazing I don’t know what we’d do without you, we need you” After a few seconds of processing what Virgil said Roman started crying uncontrollably "Oh my god, Roman, don't cry!"

"I'm so sorry…" Roman replied between sniffles "I just needed to hear that"

Virgil smiled "You want a hug?" He asked

"Yes, please…"

[princestxrm]

You’ll leave - Demus

I hate this so much, I wrote it like at 3 am, but, imma upload it anyway

Summary: After POF Janus goes back to the dark side of the mindspace to find a crying Remus.

Janus smiled as he entered the 'dark side' of the mindspace as the others liked to call it, it had been a great day, aside from what had happened with Roman everything went pretty ok, Thomas had finally understood why he needed Janus, and Janus couldn't be happier, he entered the dimly lit room with a smile on his face which quickly faded as he realized who was sitting on the couch, it was Remus, he looked sad, his head was down and his hands were in between his legs, almost as if he were crying, it took a moment for Janus to realize that Remus was in fact crying, the sniffling was what had confirmed this for him, he went to sit next to the creative side, took a deep breath and asked "Remus, are you ok?"

"You are gonna leave me..." He muttered

Janus came to the realization that Remus had heard everything, the whole conversation "What?"

"I said, you are going to leave me!" He repeated in a much louder voice, Janus looked taken aback, he didn't know what to reply, so Remus continued "You are going to leave me just like Roman and Virgil did!" He was now hyperventilating "You think I'm evil, just like they do..."

Janus had finally found a way to reply "I don't think you are evil" it's true, Janus didn't completely believe in the concept of good and evil, those were debatable concepts "You said it yourself once, Remus, 'Good and bad is all made up nonsense' didn't you?" He asked rubbing circles in Remus' back to comfort him

"I did, but, the others don't see it like that, especially Roman, and you said it like it was a bad thing... and I-" he sighed giving up on arguing, "You told them your name"

"I did tell them my name, is there a problem with that?"

"When Virgil told the others his name..." Remus began taking a deep breath, he was still hyperventilating but had calmed down a bit, Janus' voice would always help him calm down, "He never came back" he continued in a voice that gave Janus chills, he sounded angry, sad, disappointed and hurt, all at once...

"But I am still here"

"That doesn't mean you'll stay forever" After Remus spoke there was silence for a while, Janus couldn't find the right way to reply to that statement and not upset Remus even more, he wasn't sure he'd always stay, but he at least wanted to, he didn't even think for a moment about leaving Remus, although he does understand his worries

"I may not be able to promise you I'll always stay by your side, I can't predict the future,"  Janus said softly as he slipped his fingers into Remus' palm slowly, Remus quickly tightened his fingers around Janus' hand and looked up at Janus, they both locked eyes and Janus continued speaking "But I can at least promise you, I can try, you are important to me, Remus, I would never leave you just like that, I won't do the same thing Roman and Virgil did to you..."

Remus smiled through his tears, the way Janus held his hand and his comforting words were everything and more than he needed at that moment "Thank you..."

Janus smiled back "I do not love you at all," he said in his usual sarcastic voice, this was a sign that he was clearly lying, he softly pressed his lips against Remus' forehead, the kiss made Remus' heart start beating even faster "I'm going to change my clothes and then we can do something fun to make you feel better, alright?" he stood up from the couch to retreat to his room, but Remus stopped him

"Wait, Janus!" Remus yelled from the couch, "I love you too," he said as he wiped a tear smiling at the deceitful side, Remus was so happy to have someone who understood him, someone who loved him and took care of him, they may not be perfect, then again, the others weren't either, but at least they were happy, as long as Janus didn't leave him as Virgil and Roman had done he was happy being the only one Thomas didn't like, he was intrusive thoughts, after all, no one likes intrusive thoughts.

[princestxrm]

Loving whispers - Prinxiety

Requested by: @x.o_sophie_o.x on Instagram

Summary: Roman had been acting rather strangely this past few weeks, he would always whisper things next to Virgil in Spanish.

Roman had been acting rather strangely this past few weeks, he would always whisper things next to Virgil in Spanish, Virgil knew it was Spanish because he could recognize some of the words Roman was saying, and it's the only language Virgil knows for a fact Roman can speak, other than English of course, one of the first times he noticed Roman doing this was when they were sitting on the couch watching tv, Virgil was trying to pay attention to the movie, but he could feel Roman staring at him from the other end of the couch, he ignored it, it seemed pretty weird that Roman would stare at him as much as he was doing right now, maybe he was checking to see if Virgil was paying attention to the movie or if he was enjoying it, he didn’t know, but either way, it was making him feel uncomfortable, he was honestly getting bored, so he took his phone out to check Tumblr, and that’s when he heard Roman whisper “Virgil, eres el hombre más perfecto que he tenido la suerte de mirar”

"Virgil, you are the most perfect man I've ever had the luck to lay my eyes upon"

Virgil looked up from his phone at Roman and let out a confused “Huh?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Roman apologized softly giggling

“No, I didn’t hear you, what did you say?” Virgil asked being a hundred percent sure what he heard wasn’t English

Roman chuckled like he had told a funny joke “It doesn’t matter, Virge”

“Okay, then…” Virgil rolled his eyes and continued scrolling through Tumblr

After that first time, Roman never stopped, every time Virgil was on his phone, listening to music or doing literally anything else that required his attention, Roman would do this, especially when Virgil was listening to music, he probably thought Virgil wasn’t listening, he did enjoy listening to his music as loud as possible, but what Roman didn’t take into account is that Virgil would only listen to loud music in a place where he felt safe, that was why he was mostly in his room, he would never listen to loud music around the others in fear of one of them telling him something important and not being able to hear them, you know, those ‘dumb’ little things one does because of anxiety.

Since our flamboyant prince Roman didn’t take that into account Virgil could hear his every word, this was the only time Roman would speak as loud as he normally did, other times he would just whisper, Virgil swore he could listen to Roman say words like “amor” and “cariño”, he could recognize them thanks to Roman giving him a boring lecture about flirting in Spanish during a movie night, Virgil didn’t know if Roman was flirting with him or just using these words in a completely different context, he didn’t want to ask Roman about what he was saying so he decided to figure it out himself, he installed a translator app on his phone, this would allow him to record what Roman was saying and instantly translate it.

Virgil went down the stair to see Roman sitting on the floor next to the couch coloring a book as per usual, it was such a childish activity, but Roman didn’t care, he enjoyed coloring in his book, Virgil honestly thought it was cute to see him so concentrated on something like that, Virgil took a deep breath and threw himself on the couch

Roman looked up from his book to greet Virgil “Oh, hey, Virge!” he smiled

“Yo!” Virgil replied putting on his headphones, he didn’t turn the music on, he just scrolled through Tumblr for about 10 minutes and as soon as he heard Roman begin to talk he opened the app and started recording

Roman sighed flipping the page “Ay, mi principe,” he began “no sabes lo mucho que te adoro, solo mirate, te ves tan tierno acostado en el sillón con tus audifonos puestos escuchando música”

“Oh, my prince, you don't know how much I adore you, just look at you, you look so cute laying on the couch with your headphones on listening to music"

Virgil stared at the translation, he was confused, his prince? What was Roman talking about?

“¿Sabes? Me gustaría decirte todo lo que siento por ti, pero soy un cobarde, no soy un héroe, soy solo un niño perdido y asustado jugando a fingir ser uno…”

“You know? I would like to tell you how I feel about you, but I am a coward, I am not a hero, I’m just a lost and scared child pretending to be one… ”

Virgil didn’t know whether to let him continue or just stop him.

“Me gustaría tomarte de la mano, besarte, hacerte el hombre más feliz del mundo, pero, sé que eso jamás pasara, soy tan patético que tengo que hablar en un idioma completamente diferente para poder decirte estas cosas porque no sé como reaccionarias a que un fracasado como yo te amara ¿Que dirías?” he thought for a while “Probablemente te reirías de mí… Que patético sueno, pero, te amo, Virgil, enserio lo hago”

“I would like to hold your hand, kiss you, make you the happiest man in the world, but, I know that will never happen, I am so pathetic that I have to speak in a completely different language to be able to tell you these things because I don't know how you would react to a failure like me loving you, what would you say? You would probably laugh at me… I sound so pathetic, but, I love you, Virgil, I truly do."

“No, I wouldn’t,” Virgil said taking his headphones off

Roman flinched at Virgil’s sudden reply “What?”

Virgil sat down on the floor next to Roman “I wouldn’t laugh…”

“How did you…?” Roman couldn’t even get a sentence out, he was confused, Virgil grabbed the phone with the app on it and handed it to Roman “Oh, god, I am so stupid” he stared at the phone as if it were an obvious thing that could’ve happened “Virgil, I am so sorry, I didn’t… I honestly don’t need you to say anything, just please act like it never happened” Roman quickly grabbed his coloring book and pencils and stood up to leave

“I can’t do that…” Virgil replied

“Please, Virgil, it honestly doesn’t mean anything, I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have said any of that nor even think about it…” Roman looked like he wanted to run away, he looked like a scared puppy, Virgil sighed and shook his head “Virgil, please, just forget about it, you don’t have to even look at me anymore if you don’t want to, but just please forget about it…” he pleaded

“That’s the thing, I can’t just ‘forget about it’...” he began “truth is, Roman...” Virgil stood up to look at him, he smiled and softly continued “I love you too”

°°°

Thanks for reading!

Please, support my other work!

[princestxrm]

Space - Intrulogical

This isn't really super angsty, it's just Remus comforting Logan, I wrote this at 3 AM... 

Summary: Remus goes to Logan's room to bother him as usual, it had been a stressful day for everyone, but he didn't expect to see Logan like this.

What had happened today was stressing, it felt like too much, so Logan needed to relax, and what better way to relax than reading about space? He enjoyed it and it made him happy, so there he sat in his bed trying to concentrate and avoid thinking about what happened and how he felt, Remus bursting through the door didn’t help him concentrate at all.

“Hey, nerd!” Remus shouted, Logan just sighed and continued reading, he refused to look up at Remus “So, Logie” He continued walking up to Logan's desk “You are not gonna yell at me for bothering you?" He asked grabbing a pen and proceeding to constantly click it, this usually drove Logan insane, but he was too tired to say anything, Remus made an annoyed face at Logan and sighed “If you don’t complain then it’s no fun, Logan” he pouted

Logan didn’t take his eyes off his book and just muttered underneath his breath “Not in the mood” 

Remus completely gave up on keeping up his usually hyperactive persona and sat down next to Logan on the bed, he stayed there for a few minutes in complete silence until he came to the conclusion that he needed to ask him what was wrong “Logan” He began “Are you ok? 

Logan finally looked up at Remus “Yes” he said in the most monotone voice possible and continued reading his book

“Lo, you don’t have to lie to me, you are not ok, I was there…” Remus sighed “I was listening to the conversation the whole time, Patton was just stressed, I’m sure he didn’t mean-”

Logan interrupted him "It wasn't the first time he made me shut up” he muttered 

“It wasn’t?”

“No, Remus, it wasn’t” Logan sighed “They never really say it, but it’s obvious they don’t want to listen to me”

Remus sadly smiled “I know how that feels like…” 

“But you are Thomas’ intrusive thoughts, I’m his logic, it’s different” Logan looked mad at the comparison

“I know” Remus softly smiled, trying to hide the fact he felt ashamed of it, he knew he could never be as important as Roman, or any of the other sides, he knew he wasn’t really needed “But, that doesn’t mean I don’t know how it feels”

“You are right” Logan agreed going back to reading his book

“Logan?” Remus asked trying to grab his attention, Logan just hummed “You know you can talk to me right?”

“That is what I am doing right now”

Remus chuckled at Logan’s obliviousness “I mean like, about feelings” 

“Oh” Logan looked up at Remus and then back at his book “I don’t have those”

“Of course you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be acting like this”

Logan abruptly closed his book “I can’t have feelings, I’m logic, feelings aren’t logical”

“Maybe not always logical, but normal” Remus softly smiled at Logan “So, you gonna tell me or what?” he asked

Logan took a shaky breath, he didn't see any harm in telling Remus, so he did “The others always look so annoyed when I start talking” he was now shaking, was it anger, sadness, anxiety, shame? He didn’t know, maybe all of them “The other’s they…” he closed both his fists as if that would help him contain his feelings “Roman hates me, Virgil’s so fucking rude, I’m just trying to do my job!” Logan was just so angry and sad, not only at the others but at himself, he was now desperately crying, tears flooded his eyes  “Patton doesn’t take me seriously, no one ever takes me seriously!” he yelled in between tears and sobs, Remus kept his mouth shut, he didn’t reply nor make a sound, he just pulled Logan close to him and hugged him

“It’s ok, Logan, just let it out” Remus softly comforted him, all he could do was softly brush Logan’s hair with his fingers to try and calm him down, after a while of Logan gasping for air and desperately crying, he calmed down a bit, Remus pulled away from the hug to look at Logan, his eyes were red, his hair was messy and his glasses were full of tears, Remus softly removed Logan’s glasses and cleaned them with the end of his sleeve, Logan was quite surprised at this gesture, but he did appreciate it, even though that could damage his glasses, it was a sweet gesture he didn’t expect coming from Remus “There you go!” he smiled looking at the clean glasses and softly putting them back on Logan’s face 

“Thank you…” Logan sadly smiled pushing back his glasses and adjusting them “Please don’t tell the other’s about…”

“...You crying?” Remus asked and Logan nodded “Don’t worry I won’t tell them, as long as you…” Logan expected the worse coming from Remus “Keep one of my secrets too” he continued

Logan was shocked, to say the least, he expected some insane, disgusting, disturbing or illegal request coming from Remus, but he got the most normal out of all the possible ones “What is it?”

“Well… The truth is” Remus began “I like to hear you ramble”

Logan smiled surprised at this statement “You do?”

“Yeah! Especially when the facts are creepy, like that one time when we were watching a movie about space and you started rambling about how the movie was completely wrong about the effects of black holes on the human body, oh, especially when you said that if you were to fall into a black hole your whole body would get stretched out like spaghetti!” Remus laughed at the thought of it, Logan softly but genuinely smiled at the realization that Remus was most likely telling the truth “So, what do you say about” Remus grabbed the book Logan was reading “You reading this to me?” he continued smiling

Logan brightly smiled at the request “Sure!” he said with enthusiasm, this was the first time Remus had ever seen Logan smile like that, and he loved every second of it.

°°°

Thank you for reading!

Please, support my other work

[princestxrm]

Fear of change - Virgil angst

Tw in the tags. (Please tell me if something else needs to be added)

I usually don't write about self-harm, last time I wrote Roman angst a mention of suicide was like, TOO much for me, but I mean, I wrote this, so why not share it?

This is literally just a vent.

Virgil had recently moved to another state, his new house was pretty and he had a lot of fun decorating his new room and talking walks around the neighborhood when he needed to calm down, it was a really pretty neighborhood, but that didn’t change the fact that he had left his friends behind, he missed Logan, Roman, and Patton, he even missed Remus and Janus, as strange at that may sound, he did miss them a lot. His friends always made him feel calm, they were always there to calm him down, even after he had been mean to them, he didn't show it, but he did appreciate it a lot, he didn't deserve being treated nicely, not after the countless time he had lashed out at them for a small little stupid thing or the countless time he had yelled at them for trying to help him.

His new school wasn’t as bad as he expected, having to correct his teachers when they used his deadname and having the other kids in the room immediately turn to look at him, some even going as far as to stare at his chest, he was so lucky to have a supportive mother who bought him a binder, all of that wasn’t as bad as he expected, everyone seemed to be a bit surprised and confused at first but they did use his correct pronouns and name, that’s more than he expected. he hadn’t made friends with anyone at school, but he was fine with that, as long as the people who talked to him were nice and respected him he didn’t need friends, he had his friends already, friends he missed a bunch.

Not being able to talk to his friends whenever he needed to meant he would have to keep his thoughts and emotions to himself, usually, when he needed to vent about his dysphoria, suicidal thoughts or anything else he would go to Roman and Patton, it was usually Roman though, Roman had a more calm approach to things such as suicidal thoughts, Patton, on the other hand, didn’t, he would shower Virgil with love, and frankly, that was too much for Virgil sometimes, he had to admit he appreciated Patton being concerned, but sometimes you just need someone to laugh at your suicidal jokes, say “same” and move on.

This particular night Virgil’s thoughts got a little out of hand, he made an awful decision, a terrible decision he hadn't made in years, he felt so many emotions, hurt, anger, confusion, and fear, mostly fear, fear of change, fear of being forgotten by who he considered his ‘best friend group’, he needed to get the emotions out one way or another, in a moment of pure desperation he grabbed one of his pencil sharpeners from his pencil case and used the blade to cut his arm, as he felt the warm blood drip through his arm he realized what he had done, he cursed himself under his breath, he had promised himself he wouldn’t continue doing this, he promised Patton to stop, he didn’t want to do this to himself, but damn, the pain felt amazing, but doing this to isn't ok, and he knew that…

 A few years ago Patton had found out what Virgil was doing to himself, and of course, Patton being Patton was extremely concerned, Virgil had asked him to keep it a secret, he didn't want Roman, Logan, Janus or Remus knowing what he was doing to himself, he didn't want them to think of him as someone who's messed up or someone who needs help, so after a year and a half Virgil stopped hurting himself, he'd still get the urge to do it from time to time, but he understood that by hurting himself he was hurting others who cared about him, he was hurting Patton, Roman, Logan, Janus, and Remus. After a few days the cuts started healing, his cuts would always heal fast, he didn't really take care of them, at least this time he didn't cut too deep.

Virgil's phone rang, it was Roman, he excitedly picked up the phone

"Whattup?" He said trying to sound cool

"Hi, Virge! How are you doing?" Roman asked

"Oh, pretty good!" Virgil stared at his arm knowing that was a complete lie, he took a deep breath and continued "So, how are you?"

"I'm doing ok, I really missed you though, we all do..." 

"You miss me? Aw that's kinda gay" He joked

"Oh, shut up, emo nightmare!" Roman chuckled 

"So, how's everyone else doing?"

"Pretty good, Patton and Janus are dating and my brother definitely has a thing for the Microsoft nerd"

"Patton and Janus are what now?!" Virgil exclaimed

"Dating, yeah, took me by surprise too"

"When did this happen?"

"Like… Two days ago?" Roman replied with uncertainty in his voice 

"And none of you called me or texted me?!" Virgil asked clearly annoyed by this

"Sorry, kinda forgot to…" he apologized "Anyway… You doin' ok?"

"...Yeah, you already asked, Roman" 

"I know but I mean, are you really ok?"

"Yes, yes, I am"

"Look, Imma be honest, I may or may not have your Tumblr URL and saw you post some pretty depressing stuff on there, so, are you ok?"

Virgil wasn't surprised by this, he expected Roman to try and figure out his Tumblr URL, he just didn't expect him to find it nor care about what he posted there, he sighed "I'm honestly not ok…"

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really, but I feel like I should anyway" he took a deep breath and firmly grabbed the phone "I used to cut myself" he let out

"I know, Virgil…" Roman replied

"You knew?"

"You are my friend, of course, I noticed, but, that doesn't answer my question" 

"To answer your question, no, I'm not ok" he sighed "I did it again, and I know it was wrong, but I just miss you guys so much, and everything has been changing so fast, I didn't know how to cope with it, I am so sorry..."

"Virgil, it's ok, you don't need to apologize, I just want you to know that maybe I can't be next to you right now and hug you, but I'm always here to listen…" 

"Thank you, Roman…"

"No prob, bob! Anyway, I have to go, but, what do you say about a video call today  and maybe playing Minecraft if you are up to it…?"

"Sounds great!"

"Great! I'll talk to you when I get home! Bye! Love you!"

"Bye, love you too!" Virgil smiled, he was so excited to talk to Roman later, maybe not everything is so bad after all...

[princestxrm]

My fault - Roman angst

(Reposting from my Wattpad, tws in the tags)

Platonic prinxiety!

Uh- I don't usually write angst about suicide or topics like that, because... I just don't? But I wasn't feeling my best, so here we are! Oh- uh- also, I didn't proof read this and I wrote it at 3 am so I'm a 100% sure it sucks and there are a lot of mistakes.

Roman stared at himself in the mirror, he didn't feel mad or sad… He just felt tired, emotionally tired, he hated himself so damn much, he shouldn't have laughed at Janus' name… If he hadn't done that then maybe he could have avoided the painful comment Janus made afterward… But, maybe Janus was right, maybe Roman is evil, just like his brother, maybe he was right all along… Maybe Roman is the villain, oh, what a twist! The "hero" ends up being the true villain of the story…

"We love you" He mimicked Patton with a mocking tone underneath his breath "Yeah, right… I don't even love myself how could you love me?" He sadly giggled "I'm not good enough, am I? All I do is hurt the people around me" It's been 2 years since Virgil tried ducking out, none of the others sides have had the guts to tell Thomas that "ducking out" is like committing suicide if a side stops doing their job for an extended amount of time, they disappear, no one had ever directly told Roman that Virgil trying to duck out was his fault, but he knew they thought that and most importantly he knew it was true, why would Virgil try to do that if it wasn't because of all the hateful comments Roman had made in the past, he's been trying to stop hurting the people around him, but it's just impossible, it feels like whatever he tries he just ends up hurting someone else, Virgil didn't deserve it, neither did Janus, they were both trying to help Thomas, but unlike Virgil, Janus hurt Roman, he used him… Janus manipulated him 

"Roman! Are you okay? Can I come in?" Patton softly asked while knocking on the bedroom door 

"Go away!" Roman yelled 

Patton flinched at the sound of Roman's voice "I'm sorry for bothering you…" He apologized in a much lower voice but still loud enough for Roman to hear from the other side 

Roman felt bad about reacting in that way when Patton just wanted to help, but, what if it wasn't really Patton? What if Janus sent Patton to talk to him so he can manipulate him even more? But, what if it was actually Patton and he just wanted to help, but like a fool, he reacted in a rude way? And now Patton was probably sad… Roman sat on his bed, he stayed there for a while, thinking about nothing, just letting the tears fall "I hate myself so much…" He whispered underneath his breath "I deserve this, I deserve Thomas to hate me… I'm his creativity, I should come up with more original ideas, I should be better…."

"Romano!" He heard Virgil's voice for the other side of the door "Dude, you doin' ok?"

"Yeah…" Roman replied

"You sure? Patton told me about what happened today…" He sighed "Can I come in?"

"No…"

"Ok, I don't care I'm coming in any way" He sat next to Roman on the bed "You've been crying haven't you?"

Roman nodded

"Roman, I honestly don't really like Janus, I hate him if I'm being honest, but… maybe he isn't too bad, maybe he isn't the villain like we expected him to be"

Roman sighed "Listen, I can understand you not being the bad guy, but Janus literally impersonated our friends and made us play along, he manipulated us!"

Virgil placed his hand over Roman's shoulder 

"Virgil…" Roman took a deep breath "If you, Remus and Janus aren't the villains, does that mean I'm still the hero?" He sadly giggled "Don't even answer it, of course, I'm not… I'm the villain now! Thomas sees me as the villain now" his voice was now shaky, he was clearly going to start crying, Virgil slowly brushed Roman's hair with his fingers to calm him down "Does it feel nice? Is it helping?" 

Roman nodded "Can I hug you?" They've never properly hugged before, Roman was ready for Virgil to deny his offer

"I don't really like hugs, but I'll make an exception for you" Virgil softly hugged Roman

"Virgil… I'm so sorry" Roman said now crying 

"Why? Why? Why are you sorry?" He stuttered, he knew where this was going and was extremely surprised at the fact that Roman even apologized

"When you tried ducking out, it was my fault wasn't it?" Roman tightened the hug

"What? No, Roman! Of course not! It wasn't your fault"

"But I was the one to always insult you and treat you like shit"

"But that wasn't why I did it…" Virgil sighed "Just, Roman, it wasn't your fault, I promise"

"Please never leave me again!" He tightened the hug once again, he cried for a bit while Virgil softly brushed Roman’s hair with his fingers until he finally fell asleep and so did Virgil.

"Roman, are you in your room?" Janus said loudly opening the door "Oh" he whispered upon seeing the two sides asleep "I was going to apologize" Janus entered the room and grabbed a red blanket which was on top of a chair "But I'll guess I'll apologize to you two later…" He softly whispered placing the blanket on top of both sides and quietly leaving the room.

[princestxrm]

Alice - Logicality

(Posted before on Wattpad)

Requested by: Icequeencosplay on Instagram

"Guys, can you come downstairs?!" Patton yelled excitedly "There's someone we'd like for you to meet!" 

"A NEW SIDE?" Roman excitedly yelled running out of his room, he ran down the stairs as fast as he could "Where are they?" He asked looking around

"Jesus man, relax..." Virgil said walking down the stairs and putting his hand on Roman's shoulder, they heard a loud noise behind them, this made all of them flinch and look at where the noise came from

"Ouch-" Remus said loudly with a painful tone in his voice, he had thrown himself down the stairs and fallen face-first on the floor 

Janus sighed walking calmly down the stairs

"You ok there, bro?" Roman giggled still concerned

"He's fine, he always does that..." Janus replied clearly annoyed at Remus

"Anyways..." Roman continued as Janus helped Remus get up from the floor "Who do you want us to meet?!" He smiled

"Well, I need to go find Thomas and bring him to the mind space"

"Why's that?" Janus asked

"Because, I'm not so sure it's safe for them to leave the mind space yet, and I really, really, really want Thomas to meet them too" Patton smiled excitedly

"Why wouldn't it be safe for a side to leave the mind space?" Roman asked

"Who said it was a side?" Patton couldn't contain his smile "Anyways, I'll go get Thomas, you guys wait here!" He said happily sinking out to the real world

"What does he mean by that?" Janus asked 

"Yeah..." Virgil was confused by that way of phrasing it too "Also, where's Logan?"

"Didn't Patton call him down too?" Roman asked

"Probably jerk-" Remus was interrupted by Janus shutting him up with his hand

"That's disgusting, Remus..." Roman clarified

"Oh, yeah, right, like you don't je-" Janus shut him up again, and let go after a few second "To Vir-"

"Okay, that's enough" Janus let out pressing his hand over Remus' mouth even harder, Roman sighed and Virgil giggled at the situation

"We are back, kiddos!" Patton declared rising up with Thomas next to him

"Hey, guys!" Thomas smiled

"Hey, Thomas!" Roman greeted him

"Yo!" Virgil smirked 

"Hello..." Janus welcomed Thomas, still pressing his hand as hard as possible on Remus' mouth to prohibit him from talking, Remus tried saying hi to Thomas but it was impossible, Janus' gloves muffled the sound

"So why did you need me here, Patton?" Thomas interrogated

"Well, I want you guys to meet someone!" He smiled in such a genuine way it made all the sides excited for what was coming "Logan, you can come out!" Patton yelled at the direction of the kitchen, Logan walked towards the others holding in his arms...

"A baby?" Thomas let out surprised 

"Meet our daughter, Alice!" Patton radiantly smiled 

"Your daughter?" Virgil murmured in disbelief, "but how?" 

"Well..." Logan began his explanation, "it's quite hard to explain actually..." 

"No, it's not!" Remus interrupted ready to explain the birds and the bees to everyone in the room "You have a pe-"

"They are both men!" Janus stopped Remus before he could finish "And part of Thomas' imagination!" 

"May I continue?" Logan said clearly annoyed "Here, hold her" He handed the baby to Patton "Like I was saying, Remus and Roman can conjure objects for as long as they want, right?"

"Yes" "Ye..."  The twins agreed still confused as to where Logan was going with this

"Well, I found a way of conjuring an object permanently and also conjuring a... A human being?" He said with a bit of uncertainty at the end

"Is she a side too?" Virgil quietly asked

"We don't know..." Logan admitted

"And you aren't concerned about how this could affect Thomas?!" Virgil raised his voice clearly concerned "Did you even ask for his consent?" 

"Virgil, calm down, her existence won't affect Thomas in any way..." 

"How do you know that? You don't even know how to explain how you made her" Virgil was growing extremely anxious 

"Virgil, listen, does Salem affect Thomas in any way?"

Virgil looked at Thomas for a response, Thomas was cheerfully looking at the baby who was being held by Patton, he looked at Virgil and shook his head reassuring him that, his cat, Salem's existence didn't hurt him in any way "apparently not..." Virgil sighed, the other sides had stepped away from the conversation and simply watched

"Alice isn't any different she is merely a product of Thomas' imagination, obviously capable of working as a human should, but she does not affect Thomas in any way."

"Did you just call our daughter a pet?" Patton looked at Logan clearly offended 

"Of course not, honey, I was just trying to explain that she is a part of Thomas' imagination, just like you and I, she just doesn't have a specific role to fulfill." 

"Did you even ask Thomas before... Creating her?"

"Yeah, they did, I just didn't think it'd work..." Thomas clarified "But it did!" He said smiling at Alice 

"Patton... Why?" Virgil asked calmly

"You know how much I love kids, I've always wanted kids of my own, I'm the dad after all!" Patton cheerfully explained 

"But you had me..." Virgil sadly replied 

Patton walked closer to Virgil with the baby in his arms "I still see you as my son, no matter what, Virgil, I love you" Patton softly smiled "Here hold her" 

"What? no! I mean, are you sure? I could accidentally hurt her or drop her or even worse-"

"Breath, you'll be fine, I trust you, just hold her..." Patton reassured Virgil, Virgil did as instructed, he stared at Alice, she looked so small and fragile, he was so scared he might end up accidentally hurting her, he was shaking and it was obvious, but he tried to stay still as to not disturb Alice.

"She's your little sister, as her big brother you should love and protect her... " Patton softly smiled 

Virgil's eyes started tearing up "Thank you…" he whispered

"Ok, that's cute and everything, but I'm still mad!" Roman yelled

"Why's that?" Logan asked

"Because you could've told me! Designing baby clothes isn't easy you know? It takes a lot of time!" Roman declared dramatically "anyway... Can I hold her?!" He yelled breaking his overly dramatic persona

"No! She is my little sister!"

"Oh c'mon Virgil! Let me hold her!" 

"May I hold her?" Janus chimed in

"No!" Roman and Virgil yelled at the same time, Alice had been quiet this whole time, but this made her start crying

"Oh my God! She is crying! What do I do? Patton, dad, help!" Virgil started panicking

"Maybe it's time to feed her..." Patton took Alice away from Virgil "Lo, sweetie, is it time to feed her already?" Patton asked

"In 39 seconds, I'll go make her formula as fast as possible" Logan started running to the kitchen

"Logan, sweetheart, it doesn't have to be at an exact ti-" Patton sighed "never mind..." Alice had stopped crying now that she was back in her dad's arms  "Virgil you wanna help us?"

"I better stay here, I need some time to let this sink in..." Virgil admitted

"Ok, if you need me, I'm here for you" Patton reassured Virgil

"I wanna help!" Remus excitedly announced

"Oh, no, Remus, you stay here, I don't want you near that baby, at all" Janus said grabbing Remus by the shoulder

"Why can't he help, Janus?" Patton asked

"Because he is... Remus."

"So?" Patton asked clearly noticing Remus' sad expression

"I wouldn't hurt a baby, Janus..."  Remus clarified looking at Janus with a sad look

"Then what about that time you gave Thomas a  knife and a baby? It looked like you wanted him to hurt the baby..." Virgil said concerned for Alice's safety

"Virgil, I'm sure he was just messing with me..." Thomas explained 

"Of course I was! It was a fake baby! I may be demented, but I wouldn't act on my ideas, well most of them, especially when they involve hurting a kid, they are just ideas I give Thomas, that's my job..." Remus sadly confessed, "I don't think you enjoy giving Thomas anxiety either..." He looked at Virgil, Virgil quietly looked at the ground feeling ashamed of himself, he knew Remus was right, he didn't enjoy giving Thomas anxiety at all...

"Come on, Remus, you can help!" Patton smiled

"Hell fucking yeah!" Remus said going back to his usually hyperactive persona, Patton gave him a look "Ah, my bad, Pat, HECK FUDGING YEAH!" He corrected himself, Patton giggled, all the other sides and Thomas looked at each other with confusion at what had just happened, they've never seen Remus react in such a way

"Well, I have things to do, I need to go…" Thomas announced "I'll come back to see Alice and talk to you guys after I finish editing"

"Sure, Thomas, good luck!" Roman said

"Good luck! Be sure to save the project or else you might lose it and you'll need to start everything again…" Virgil explained 

Thomas sighed "Thanks..."

"Remember to take time for yourself, Thomas…" Janus let out

"Will do, bye, guys!" Thomas left the mindscape leaving three extremely troubled sides behind

"So… You have a little sister?" Roman asked Virgil

 "Yeah, I guess, but don't you too? I mean you call Patton "dad" too, don't you?" 

"Does that make you brothers?" Janus grinned "Too bad it's illegal for you to dat-" Roman interrupted Janus by hitting him in the arm with his elbow "Ouch! What was that for?" 

"We are not brothers!" Roman clarified

"I know you don't see him as a brother" Janus giggled "I'll go check on Remus, don't do anything illegal while I'm gone" 

Virgil chuckled at Roman's annoyed face, he stood up to walk to his room but was stopped by Roman grabbing him by the wrist "You wanna help design her clothes?" Roman softly smiled

"Sure" Virgil nodded "But only if I get to design a My Chemical Romance shirt for her" 

"Poor Alice…" Roman sighed "You are an emo nightmare"

"Thank you very much, Roman" Virgil smiled "So? Can I?"

"Sure, fine, just help me…" 

"Cool!" Virgil smiled grabbing Roman by the hand and running upstairs to Roman's room to start designing the clothes, they had a fun time, although Virgil couldn't stop thinking about the fear of Patton forgetting about him… And so did Roman, he may not show it, as Virgil does, but deep down, he was scared of being forgotten too.

[princestxrm]

Invisible - Prinxiety

(Posted before on Wattpad but, I’m reposting it, tw for this one is just cursing, if there are more feel free to tell me)

This was written at 3 A.M and it genuinely sucks, so I'm so sorry, this was requested by hannahmw224 on Instagram.

Oh, just so you guys know, I headcanon the sides to not look like Thomas while in the mind space, they are part of Thomas' imagination, so he is the only one who can see them as completely different people, we as viewers can't, just a headcanon to keep in mind while reading 'cause some of this may not make sense considering they all canonically have the same face. 

All the sides have "powers" per se... "Abilities" to be more specific, for example, Roman and Remus can conjure any object they want to for as long as they want to, Deceit can eliminate other people's ability to lie and also know when someone's lying, Logan can recall any information Thomas had ever learned, and well, Patton... To be honest, Virgil didn't know, he didn't know what Patton's ability was, but he never bothered asking, he was too afraid if he did the others would ask about his own ability, Virgil had the ability to turn invisible... Why? How? Not even Virgil himself knew, but he knew damn well he could use it for his advantage, he hated coming out of his room and having to talk to the sides, every time he wanted to get something from the kitchen he'd turn invisible and today was no exception... Well, except, Roman and Patton were sitting on the couch, he couldn't just go get what he wanted, how would he explain a flying granola bar without revealing his ability to the others? Virgil slowly walked down the stairs to not make any sound.

"I just hate him!" Roman exclaimed as he aggressively colored in a drawing, Virgil assumed he was talking about him so he decided to stop walking down the stairs to listen

"Don't say that about Virgil, you don't hate him, Roman" Patton softly spoke

"I don't... No, I don't hate him" Roman stopped coloring to think "I hate the way he makes me feel"

"How does he make you feel?" Patton smiled

"Good? I don't know, I just wanna hug him, and just- Cuddle him?"

"Could you maybe... Uh- I don't know... Have a crush on him?" Patton said smiling like crazy

"No way!" Roman yelled, "There's no way!"

Patton giggled "Yeah sure..."

"I mean... I don't like him, but" Roman grabbed the pencil case and started looking for a specific color to continue his drawing "Have you seen him?" He softly smiled "His eyes and soft skin... And reddish lips, oh, and the way he smiles and when he giggles he makes me feel so... Weirdly happy, he's just perfect"

Virgil stood on the staircase extremely fluttered "What?" he whispered causing the other two sides to look up at him

"VIRGIL! What are, what are you doing here?" Roman asked nervously

"Wait! You can see me?" Virgil said anxiously looking down at his hands "Fuck" he whispered

"Of course we can see you, kiddo, what do you mean?" Patton softly replied

Roman's face was completely red now "Yeah... I can see you?" He tried to act as if nothing had happened but it was impossible "You, uh, you heard us?"

"I, heard you talking about... What?" It was so obvious Virgil was trying to act like he hadn't heard anything

"I, I didn't mean any of it!" Roman nervously giggled "it, it was all acting! Because I knew you were there and I wanted to pull a prank on you!"

"You didn't mean any of it?" Virgil's face went from really uncomfortable to REALLY uncomfortable and sad in a matter of seconds

"No!" Roman rushed up the stair to hug Virgil "I'm sorry, please don't be sad, I don't like to see you sad" Roman pulled away from the hug to look at Virgil's eyes "I did mean it, I do think your smile's really pretty, so please smile... I'm sorry."

"It's fine" Virgil smirked

"You also have really pretty eyes, have I ever told you that?" Roman smiled

Patton smiled at the two of them and decided to go back to finish baking his cookies at the kitchen

"No, you've never told me that before" Virgil smiled turning bright red "Well, I think you have really pretty eyes too, and really pretty lips..." He said starring at Roman's lips

"Can I?" Roman whispered

"Please..." Virgil closed his eyes, Roman kissed him, he was clearly shaking, his heart was pumping way too fast, Roman grabbed Virgil's shaking hand to comfort him while they kissed "Thank you..." Virgil whispered after Roman finished kissing him, they both softly smiled at each other in silence for a while "I can't believe our first kissed happened in the stairs while wearing pajamas... How romantic" Virgin sarcastically broke the silence

"Yeah... I didn't imagine it to happen like this"

"You've imagined it?"

"And you haven't?..."

"Uh- maybe..." Virgil giggled "WAIT! I came here to get a granola bar!"

"And you got a boyfriend!" Roman smiled

"Ah, fuck... The granola bar would've been better," Virgil said clearly joking, Roman, giggled

"Well, let's get you a granola bar then!" He said quickly grabbing Virgil and carrying him to the kitchen bridal style

"What? Put me down!" Virgil fought back

"A prince such as yourself, shouldn't even walk! This dirty floor is not worthy of being in contact with such beauty!"

"Excuse me? "Dirty floor"? You know I work really hard mopping the floor every day, right?" Patton yelled from the kitchen

Virgil and Roman both giggled at Patton's response, Roman stared at Virgil's smile, it was so pretty "I love you..." Roman whispered

"I love you too, you dramatic bitch" Virgil giggled

[princestxrm]

Hanahaki Disease - Prinxiety

(I posted this on Wattpad a while ago, but I’m reposting it here, all the tw are on the tags)

This is the first Sanders Sides fanfiction I wrote and I just found it on my notes

Virgil sat in the living room listening to music as Patton cooked dinner, he felt a sudden shiver through his buddy, suddenly his body temperature dropped, he was probably sick, he had woken up with a stuffy nose and he had been sneezing a lot, which wasn't a weird occurence, although Virgil was Thomas' side, he still got sick sometimes, not even Logan could explain it, which was... Kind of concerning

"Virgil?" Patton asked putting down the spoon he had in his hand and rushing over to virgil "Are you okay? Why are you shivering?" He placed the back of his hand over Virgil's forhead  "Oh, kiddo, you have a fever..." He sighed "You better go lay down on your bed, I'll prepare you a soup!" Patton smiled

"Thanks, dad..." Virgil said standing up and leaving to his room, he sat on his bed, while taking his shoes off a thought came into mind "Where's Roman?" He hadn't seen him all day, he felt empty, almost like a part of him was missing, before he could finish the thought a burning sensation started to fill his throat, it felt like something was stabbing his throat from the inside, he felt like coughing to get it out, he coughed as hard as he could, until a red colored petal came out of his mouth, it was full of blood, Virgil felt his heart racing, he didn't understand why, how or what was happening, as he panicked he felt the need to cough again, this time a full red rose came out, Virgil's eyes were tearing up, the pain from coughing and the confusion made this happen, mostly the confusion though

"Virgil kiddo! I-" Patton was interrupted from opening the door by Virgil who quickly jumped from his bed to push the door shut again "Virgil?"

"I, I'm, I'm sorry, I'm... Uh... Changing clothes."

"Oh, sorry, I should start knocking."

"Yeah, probably, just give me a... A minute." Virgil said hiding the petals under his bed and quickly cleaning up the blood with his jacket, taking his jacket off made him feel like he was freezing, but he couldn't let Patton see the blood "Uh... Come in!" He said getting in bed without changing his clothes at all, although it was hardly noticeable since he was wearing his jacket before

"Here, I made you soup! Just be sure to eat it all, it has a bunch of vitamins so that way you can fight off this cold!" He exclaimed placing the tray with a bowl of soup down on Virgil's bed 

"Thank you, Patton, you are awesome!" Virgil smiled as he tried to stop his body from automatically coughing "By the way..." Virgil staired the soup "Have you seen... Ro-" he felt like he wanted to cough again, but he just cleared his throat "Roman?" He continued

"No, I haven't, but, I know he's been helping Thomas with new video ideas, why do you ask?" 

"I don't know... Just wondering." He said looking intensley at the soup "What about Logan?" Virgil said curiously

"He's in his room, reading" Patton smiled "Anyway... If you need anything I'll be at the kitchen preparing dinner for the others, ok?" He opened the door and stepped out of the room "Love you, kiddo!" He exclaimed with a high pitched voice as he closed the door

Virgil instantly felt relived at the fact that Patton hadn't noticed, but, there was still something bothering him, what was happening to him? Why roses? HOW WAS HE COUGHING UP ROSES? IT MADE NO SENSE! He started panicking, should he go ask Logan about it? He knows everything! Should he stay quiet about it? Was it contagious? Did it affect Thomas in anyway? He thought about every possible outcome, every outcome even worse than the last one

"Virgil!" He heard Roman singing his name while knocking on his door

Roman saying his name made his heart skip a bit "Come in!" Virgil said drying his own tears he didn't even know were there and putting on a small smile on his face

"Patton said you were sick so I came to check on you!" Roman said sitting on the bed next to Virgil, Virgil's heart started racing again, he should've been used to Roman getting so close by now, but it just made him feel so... Weird "So how are you doing, stormcloud?" He smiled softly at Virgil

"I, I guess I'm fine..." Virgil said while softly smiling back at Roman, looking at his eyes made him blush and his throat start itching... Wait, his throat itching? Oh no... Virgil quickly stood up and ran to the bathroom, he coughed a bunch petals again, he threw them down the toilet and went back outside to see a concerned Roman waiting for him

"Virgil! Are you okay?" Roman asked putting a hand over Virgil's shoulder

"I'm..." Virgil's head was spinning, he was unable to form a sentence as fast as he wished at that moment "I'm fine, don't... Don't worry."

After that conversation Virgil decided to stay in his room, he was getting sicker with each passing day, it had been a week, he still didn't know what was happening to him, Patton and Roman had definitely noticed his strange behavior, but, they didn't say anything... At least for now...

Virgil decided he HAD to do something, he grabbed a rose petal he had coughed up a minute ago and stuffed it into his hoodie, he knew Roman and Patton weren't home so he quickly opened the door and ran to Logan's room

"Logan! Open up, please!"

"Virgil?" Logan asked opening the door "What may I assist you with?" Logan made a gesture for Virgil to come in

Virgil entered the room "Well... I was wondering, have you ever heard about... A sickness were people cough up... Flower petals?"

"I certainly have...".

"Really?!" Virgil said unable to hide the relief this made him feel

"Yes, do you remember Thomas' fanfic "phase"?" Logan asked with a bit of an uneasy face

"How could I forget?" Virgil giggled "Anyways, what does that have to do with the disease?"

"Well, it's a fictional disease where an individual coughs up flower petals, like you already established."

"Yeah, but what else? What's the cause? How do I cure it?" Virgil interrupted Logan

"I was getting there, it is caused by unrequited love" 

Virgil looked at Logan completely shocked

"There are two outcomes, you either let the sickness go on and let the flowers grow inside your respiratory system and die, or tell Roman you like him and hope for the best."

Virgil blushed "I never said I-"

"I'm not stupid, Virgil..." Logan said adjusting his glasses "You've been in your room for about a week, you either tell Roman how you feel quickly or..." Logan looked at the ground

"How is it even possible I have a fictional disease?" Virgil looked at his hands anxiously 

Logan cleared his throat "Well... You see, we are part of Thomas' imagination, we don't exactly work like actual humans, my theory is that, since Thomas was familiar with this "Hanahaki disease" concept, well, this happened" Logan gestured at Virgil 

"So, the only way of curing it is to... Confess to Roman?"

"Exactly" Logan readjusted his glasses

"Well, thank you for the help, Logan" Virgil said slowly opening the door to leave

"You are welcome" Logan nodded "Oh, by the way"

Virgil turned around rapidly

"Good luck" Logan smiled softly

“Thanks” Virgil softly smiled back

Did this mean he had to tell Roman about what he felt? I mean, he always knew he had a little crush on Roman, but he never thought it would get to this point, as he was walking down the corridor his thoughts were suddenly stopped by someone’s voice

‘We are home!” Patton announced this made Virgil start running towards his room to hide from the two newly arrived sides, as he quickly opened the door to get into his room he heard Roman’s voice from behind “Virgil?” he asked, now inside the room, Virgil sat in front of his door to stop it from being open from the outside, his heart was beating as fast as possible, he had two options, he either told Roman how he felt or he died, Virgil didn’t know which one caused him more anxiety than the other, but both certainly weren’t great, especially considering Roman probably didn’t like him back, Virgil ended up deciding on not dying and telling Roman how he felt, he got up and opened the door, as he did Patton quickly looked at Virgil from the kitchen and smiled 

“VIRGIL!”  Patton ran up to him and hugged him

“Stormcloud!” Roman followed “You finally left your room! Are you ok?”

“About that… Roman, we should talk.” Virgil looked up from the ground to look at Roman in the eyes

“We, uh, Yeah, sure.” Roman nervously giggled, he couldn’t help but feel he’d one something wrong

“Patton…” Virgil gave Patton a “Please leave” look

“Oh, yeah, I’ll leave you guys alone, I’ll be making cookies if you need me!” They waited for Patton to leave

“Come in,” Virgil said opening his bedroom door, they both sat on the bed

“So what is it? Roman asked breaking the silence

“I’m sick” Virgil fidgeted with his fingers

"Sick how…?" Roman asked seriously

"Well, you were in charge of writing Thomas' fanfiction were you?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Then you probably remember the Hanahaki disease" 

"Yeah, what about it?"

Virgil slowly pulled the flower out of his jacket's pocket and showed it to Roman

"I don't get it, how is it possible…?" Roman looked puzzled 

”I don't know…"

"Wait this means you like someone doesn't it?" Roman asked curiously

"Yeah, yeah I guess…" Virgil nervously fidgeted with his fingers 

"Who is it then?" 

"I, I, that's what I wanted to talk to you about" He sighed "Roman, I" He took a deep breath and closed his eyes "I love you!" He confessed in a loud tone of voice "Like a band-aid, just gotta rip it o-"

His words were cut off by Roman quickly pinning Virgil to the bed "I knew it… I love you too" he smiled, Virgil felt his lounges fill back up with air and took a deep breath, this time it was easier than before "You do?" He softly asked giggling

The creative side softly kissed him "I do, very much." He smiled.