productivity-at-its-worst

[productivity-at-its-worst]

AUG 17, 2023

i have been off for some time because we were on holiday for 5 days it was so lovely but atst it was hell because there was a beach bar just beside the house we stayed and they played songs really loud until 1 a.m. is it professional? i don't think so. can we do anything about it? no, because they say they got permission from the city hall. does it make you better? NO WAY, IT IS WORSE. the fact that the city hall approved it is insane because it is apparently a human rights violation. however, thanks to them, i am really good at sleeping in loud places now. thank you unprofessionally and unethically managed beach bar. i am putting some images from the place we were, though. i really like that town.

and today, i woke up at 6 a.m. because i wanted to stay awake. i don't even know why but i always oversleep especially when i am in the period of time in which i am not working. i cant wake myself up. i can sleep up to 12 hours if i am not trying. i can even sleep more but i don't want to sacrifice my youth to my sleep addiction, lol. so, i woke up, went out and took a walk, almost got play-bitten by a dog -i like animals from a distance it wasn't a pleasant experience. actually, i am afraid of anything i cant get along well by communicating/speaking (humans included)-, came back home, had coffee, read a couple pages of a book. then i wanted to sleep again, lol. but i stopped myself and started to create a presentation for my private lesson.

i have a test at the weekend i should take to study master's degree. do i study for it? nah, i have things to do such as watching my bedrooms walls while i question myself. i still believe that i and my bedroom walls will be fine, though.

that is all my babblery today, if you read it until now, you are quite patient, congrats! and have a wonderful day!

[productivity-at-its-worst]

AUG 7, 2023

today, i started packing my things to leave for teaching as a teacher in a distant city. i am leaving home at the end of this month as the semester will begin. i don't know how i feel exactly but once i started packing, it felt serious and real. generally, i don't think about these things until they happen but this time I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE I AM PACKING. i realized that i am leaving seriously. i left home before in the past for studying but this feels completely different because this time all the responsibility is on me for real.

[productivity-at-its-worst]

@lovesdaya

[productivity-at-its-worst]

AUGUST 5-6, 2023

this is a simple drawing i came across in an exhibition. i like it because it looks simple and calming. i wish everything could be simple and calming.

it is really nice to spend time with your family members and relatives but it is also the hardest thing in the world for me. you love them, and you like being together but it is really difficult to manage relationships with all those people. sometimes i get really tired of everyone and just want to leave and be alone for some time (a long time)

also, lately, i have been having problems with most people. my mom always says “if you have issues with every person, the problem might be you.” but this time, i know. i am not the problem. i wish i was the problem, at least i could just point it out and change it for the good.a

and a song i’ve been listening to lately.

stay safe.

[productivity-at-its-worst]

What About The Kens?

I'm already seeing guys complain about the Barbie movie end, how they wanted Kens to be equal in Barbieland but were only given a small part on the Cabinet.

That's the point.

You're meant to feel bad for the Kens. Believe me, women aren't partying over the 'Returns to Matriarch' ending. Some will be, but the ones who also clocked the meaning behind it won't. Most women will also feel bad for Kens. Because it's an exact parallel to how women are treated in reality.

Men, you're meant to be upset. You're meant to question it. Because you're meant to feel it, and feel what that is like, so you can finally understand women. You're upset at seeing it in a movie, now imagine living it in reality. That's being a woman.

Kens were shit on so you could feel what it was like for women this entire time. Kens were being used as a placement so you could see yourself in a woman's shoes. A world dominated by the opposite sex. When Ken leaves, and sees male presidents (All men) for the first time, men being doctors and lawyers, etc, realising he is more than just a prop for Barbie, that was on purpose. Because that is the feeling that Barbie gave to women. It's why you cheer for him at first before he goes a little overboard.

It's exactly why the real world was an exaggerated Partriarchy and Barbieland an exaggerated Matriarchy. Neither wins. Neither is equal. None of them change for the better. It's why you should want women in the real world to be respected, and Kens in Barbieland to be respected.

The thing is, women also didn't win. Not in the real world. In Barbieland, yes, but not anywhere else. The real world didn't change. But you didn't notice, did you? That Gloria (The mother that helped Barbie) also didn't get a position on the Mattel board? It was still all men? Her idea was ignored until it made a profit, and the men will likely get the credit? She'll still just be the receptionist? The women representing the real world didn't get anymore opportunities, neither did the men in Barbieland.

I was hoping that Gloria would be offered a position on the board, and that the Barbie Cabinet would introduce another entire Cabinet to represent the Kens, but neither happened. They're complete mirrors.

But which one did you actually notice? Which did you actually care about? Now tell me again the ending was unfair. Because it was. For both parties. That's the point.

The difference is, Barbieland is fictional. You will walk out of the theatre with the reassurance that at least it's not real. Women won't. Women can't. Companies not giving women equal opportunities or voices isn't fictional, and that was just one example. There are no women presidents (USA at least) for us to go look at in the real world. We don't have somewhere to go to realise it could be different for us like Ken did. Barbie and make believe is all we had when we were kids, or even now.

You're supposed to be mad, just not at the movie.

[productivity-at-its-worst]

JULY 20, 2023

i went to a picnic with my family, I want to say “Gravity Falls!!!!” but no, unfortunately. it is just a 1-hour distance waterfall from my home. it was perfect until all the mosquitoes that have the ability to bite even my covered skin. i respect their motivation to bite, i don’t appreciate being bitten though.

then it was perfect again when i walked in the cold water because it was 35 degrees.

it was so lovely being in nature after a long time as I worked in the city for some time until summer break. after, we went to a little town by a lake. i took that sail photo there which i think looks cute.

some songs from my playlist for this short trip were:

perfect blues by hannah bahng

cabo by ricky montgomery

im sorry i miss you by gracie abrams

[productivity-at-its-worst]

IT IS 1:30 A.M. AND SUDDENLY SOMETHING STRUCK MY MIND.

I have to do something to make my days better. Because in the past; I journaled, I kept diaries, I made plans. BUT NOW, NOTHING WORKS. So, I’ll just try blogging, too.

Let’s make a change in our lives.

(saying “our lives”, I mean my life and my focus life because apparently, my focusing skills have a different life from mine.)

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EVERYTHING I CAN THINK ABOUT MYSELF

(for you to get to know me and for me to get to know myself better)

i am 24 years old and i teach primary school students. after, i go home and try to mend my mental damage because of all the chaos in the class. for the next day.

i like my friends but i am not sure if they like me or need me in their lives.

i generally feel everything deeply when it is night. nothing bothers me in the daytime.

i always try to use my glass straw so that i can save the world.

i don’t like summer because i like wearing layers a lot.

i feel like i can do anything if i make up my mind but still, i am not sure and i get indecisive.

i try not to think about my future because it will always be unclear no matter what i do. i accept it as it is and pray Allah that he will guide me and go for it.

i like listening to music but also hate when they go around my head nonstop.

i don’t use capital letters unless i write something formal because lower case is cuter.

i like personalizing things by sticking them stickers.