rabid-multifandom-obsessions

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

the universe: okay, you’re a human. I gave you free will and a conscious mind, so you’re free to do whatever you want. So what do you wanna do?

human: GO FAST

the universe: well, you’re a perfect pursuit predator but if that’s the way you want to evolve, go ahead.

human, climbing on a horse: GO FAST

the universe: wait what

human, inventing the carriage, the car and the bullet train: GO FASTER

the universe: I IMPLORE YOU TO STOP

human, trying to figure out lightspeed travel: FAS T ER

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

Happy Labor Day. Today I learned about probably the first strike to happen IN SPACE.

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

concept: there are lots of different worlds and all of them have different levels of access to magic. Some are just all over the place and some have no magic at all.

You would think that we would be one of the strictly non-magical worlds, but actually, that’s not the case—we don’t have like, a huge excess of magic, but we have, like, dreams, and the placebo effect, which puts us pretty solidly in the “Numinous” world category.

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

Can we talk about how in zombie shows/movies/books they always find a veterinarian and not a surgeon? Are veterinarians deemed more likely to survive the apocalypse?

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

So the other night my mom was upstairs on a zoom call with The Council of Retired White Moms (her book club) , my dad was downstairs working out, and my brother and I were cleaning up the kitchen, which obviously requires a soundtrack.

Now, you know how sometimes you’re like “alexa, play [a song]” and she’s like “playing [a totally different song] on TST’s spotify”? or maybe she just decides to play literally nothing instead? My workaround has always been to select the Echo as thr output device in the spotify app. It works like 80% of the time.

As such, when Alexa couldn’t manage to play my great kitchen cleaning jam on the night at issue, I opened spotify, selected the kitchen echo, and pressed play. When the Echo didn’t respond, I just assumed it was just the usual spotify/alexa bullshit... until the screaming began.

This next part is important: there are 32 devices on our network and nobody but me ever names them. So when I’m selecting a device to play spotify on, I have to pick the right speaker out from a long list of random alphanumeric gibberish. I usually guess right, but I do occasionally fuck it up. Accordingly, it came to pass that I had not told Spotify to play my music on the kitchen echo; I had actually selected the iHome in my mom’s office.

Mom originally bought the iHome to play NPR loud enough that she could hear it from any room in the house. It’s not a smart speaker, though, and mom (like the majority of boomers) prefers to use voice commands. Once she got her own Echo, she just basically forgot about the iHome. More importantly, she forgot how to use it, and then, it seems, forgot that it was a speaker system at all - a few weeks prior to the events of this story, I was trying to troubleshoot her computer and had a private and very sensible chuckle to myself when she incidentally referred to it as “that digital clock.”

For the past few years it’s just been lurking silently on her desk next to her laptop.

Waiting.

As a result, when the iHome unexpectedly lurched back to life at its customary maximum volume, neither my mother nor the 25+ other Women of a Certain Age in her book club had any idea of:

a) where the music was coming from, or

b) how to stop it

I had started up the stairs in response to the screaming, but I paused (out of mom’s line of sight) when I realized what was happening.

“STOP IT!” My mom was out of her chair and screaming. “WHAT IS THAT!? NO! ALEXA, STOP IT! ALEXA! STOP PLAYING!”

A greek chorus of distraught book club attendees was echoing her sentiments over the laptop speakers, the monitor displaying the horrified face of each speaker in incredibly rapid succession.

“ALEXA!” My mom shouted at the mesh router point, “MAKE IT STOP! NO! NO! NO!”

(“Did you mean ‘set a timer?’” the Echo in her bedroom asked politely.)

The song, naturally, did not stop, and mom did not think to mute her laptop or pull the power cord from the iHome. Instead, she whirled around several times held her arms out in a sort of T-pose, as if she could physically stop the book club attendees from hearing the song I’d picked out.

I will say this for the iHome - sure, it’s old tech, but even at max volume, the lyrics could be understood with perfect clarity.

Now, this would have probably been funny regardless of the song I had chosen as my kitchen clean-up jam. I know that. But the actual song that my mom’s book club encountered that night is what raises the whole thing from “amusing anecdote” to “genuinely incredible.”

If you have been following me for a while, you’ll know that I tend to think of myself as a real prankster. A rascal, a scamp, a jester of a woman. I have engineered a few comedic misadventures in my day. But I have to be humble here... what I unintentionally accomplished that night was so much funnier than anything I have ever done on purpose. It was the absolute apex of comedy.

The song I had chosen, dear readers, was WAP.

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

why do black people use you in the wrong context? such is "you ugly" instead of "you're ugly" I know u guys can differentiate, it's a nuisance

you a bitch

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

Yesssssss

alternate S7 anon here!

my personal headcanon, for a world without season 7 is that lane and zach call it quits after a while (inter-band dating never works out; lane spends a lot of time listening to fleetwood mac, scared that the band will break up but brian locks them all in a room for a night and all 4 of them come out stronger than ever). they start to perform all over the place! they get signed to a small indie label who saw them at one of their gigs, they put out an album that does relatively well for a small-time band. they get more gigs and finally move to new york, which is where she meets dave!! who is interning under a producer for a big label. they talk, dave introduces them to the producer, and BOOM! hep alien's first major album!

i refuse to accept anything canon in regards to lane lol. this is the life she deserves!

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

I want to high five OP because the sarcasm in their post is prime and to the actual sentiment itself I must agree and just say

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT VIDEO PLEASE REBLOG

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

Art advice 👀🎨

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

“20 is my final offer. And really, I’m doing you a favor: dogs don’t need diapers, Geralt.”

AU where instead of trying to cure her infertility Yennefer just goes around saving random people’s lives and invoking the law of surprise bcos she figures sooner or later it’ll net her a baby. she hasn’t got one yet but she has amassed about 2 dozen dogs so she’s doing pretty well for herself.

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

[rabid-multifandom-obsessions]

Yesssss

Anyone else ever just put their heart and soul into a tv show, grow and cry with the characters, and overall love it so much just have it end in a sickeningly awful way? Yeah that's my mood right about now.