rambles-of-mine

[rambles-of-mine]

True.

[rambles-of-mine]

This defines me.

Source: Pinterest

[rambles-of-mine]

August 19th 2024- Super full moon

I might not be able to look at you tonight

But for you, I will write this little poem

And share it with delight.

May your energy fill my body, mind and soul

May your bright light show me the path that i need to go

I'll ear your voice in tonights slumber

And dream of the last moments we spent together

I wish I could see you to tell you my secrets,

But deep down I know you already know them.

But even tho you know me better than I know myself,

I need to ask you for a little help.

Please give strength and courage to overcome my fears

Please give me comfort when I wipe away my tears

Please show me the light in the darkness of life

And continue to look at me like you’re doing tonight.

-To you Moon

[rambles-of-mine]

Today I got a moth tattoo.

It was a weird experience at first cause the tattoos I’m used to do are pretty small compared to this one, so my anxiety was on level explosive diarrhea if that makes sense.

Im not gonna lie I was also excited to do this tattoo since it was going to be a cover for an old tattoo that I wanted to get rib of, I didn’t connect with it anymore cause it reminded me of my past self and well like everybody, people tend to change throughout the time, their beliefs, their personalities, their likes, their behavior towards certain situations, their way of thinking, their way of communicating with others, their bad sense of style back when they were still in middle school and didn’t know how to match tops and bottoms and also never heard of color coordination.

Everybody changes and that’s good, and I know that talking about something that’s gonna be permanent on your skin is a lot of hypocrisy on my part but that is also part of the experience, knowing that something you did in the past doesn’t define you anymore is a very big step into knowing the new version of yourself, it’s like a clue to a new chapter of a book, in this case we can call this chapter: “don’t be sad go get a tattoo, again.” And move on to another part of your life!

People always tend to annoy me with that topic “oh no! You got a tattoo?! Do you realize that’s permanent?!”

“Yeah no shit Sherlock, no I was just messing with you I made this with a sharpie 5 min ago inside that public restroom, just to look cool. It’s a dragon btw, I know it’s looks more like a raccoon but it’s just because I didn’t pay attention during art classes.”

This is a great answer to that stupid question, like do you think I paid almost with my kidney just to come off 3days later?! I know I’m messed up but not that much, chill.

Anyways the point of this blabbering is that I really enjoyed the tattoo, it covered the other one perfectly and I’m in love with it, the point of doing a moth tattoo was because of a video on tik tok explaining the meaning of moths, if your not into spiritual things then stop reading but if you are welcome bestie, have a cup of tea let’s talk:

So apparently, moths have a deeper meaning that I have imagined and I only discover this in the beginning of this year, moths are a representation of finding the light in the darkness, since they are nocturnal creatures and they follow the light of the moon or the light inside your house, it’s a way to guide them and with out it they cannot fly properly, that is why when a moth is close to a light bulb they tend to go around in circles cause it’s their only light source, I don’t know if what I’m saying here it’s 100% accurate but I guess it’s something like this. So basically moths are very misjudged and not seen with good eyes but for me I think they’re very cute and beautiful.

“Moths are often symbolic of positive transformation because they fly in the dark of night towards light. In some traditions, moths are seen as a symbol of a holy union of light and dark needed for a soul's transformation.” The funny part of this is months before I did my tattoo a encounter three moths inside my house which is not very rare in my area, one them I found in my front door actually, and the most weird part it was during the day, it’s commonly known that they only appear at night so it was very strange.

It was the first time that something like this has ever happened to me before and I took has a sign to do this tattoo, not only because I wanted to cover the other one so bad but also it kinda matched my current state of life, I have been through some rough times during 2023 and also the beginning of this year, so seeing a moth so many times when my life is getting better day by day is something that warms my heart, it’s saying that not everything is lost and there’s a light in the darkness, just like that Scorpions song:

🎶“This is the time for yourself to be free

You gotta follow your heart

This is the time in your life and it's never too late

To see the light in the dark

You gotta follow your heart”🎶

Damn that shit hits hard.

But yeah this was just to share my happiness with my new moth tattoo and also to say that not everything is doomed, we all have a dark era but we also have a slay era, we are the light and the dark in one body and we need this union to grow and become a better version of ourselves.

Now go out there and slay your enemies with your smile periodtttt!!!!

(I’m watching to many Caseoh’s videos)

[rambles-of-mine]

Am I the only one who doesn’t know what the fuck am I doing?

Like, I had dreams, paths that I wanted to follow when I was a teenager but it’s what they usually say when you grow older and become an adult, you’re dreams are crushed by reality.

I wasn’t planning on becoming one more piece for the matrix, you know working all day not having enough money to pay the bills and enjoy yourself, travel, get a cat or a dog, or maybe a whole zoo (I love animals) having no stress in life at least not EVERY SINGLE DAY and having the possibility to enjoy life at its finest, people say that money don’t buy happiness but in this world, it does.

I’m not saying that everything can be gained with money of course not, but without it you cannot have peace and stability which is kinda sad, it wasn’t supposed to work like this, we should have the freedom to enjoy ourselves and still work in a place that we feel comfortable, that annoys me a lot, why life has to be like this? Why can’t I just have my child dream come true? Having a job of mine and doing what I love, having the freedom to travel and take care of myself and the ones I love, you know LIVING not SURVIVING.

There’s people in worst cases than me and I’m not saying that I’m not grateful for what I have I truly am, but it’s sad that people live like this.

I truly don’t know what I’m doing and it’s scary sometimes, but one thing that I’ve learned in the past years is that your expectations will not meet reality at least not 100%, it’s good to keep dreaming but in a more grounded mindset I guess you need to mold your dreams to what you can achieve at the moment and not rushing the process, it’s a slow process but it’s possible. Even tho I feel different from what I was in my teen years I still have my inner child saying that it’s possible, if you still believe it. It’s going to be hard and maybe things don’t come your way but at least it’s something right? It’s the small things that count, that builds the whole thing, I haven’t giving up of my dreams but now I look at them differently, like “does this match my reality? Or can this be achieved with what I have right now? Or do I have the tools to do it? (Money, time, patience, companions, accessibility, etc)

It shouldn’t be like this, but that’s adult life.

At least I think so, I’m still only starting it and it scares that shit out of me, everyday.