randomprojectsbeforeidie

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Bene Gesserit training: May, 15th of 2024

1. Fighting fit

Yesterday I ate 1.610/1.707 calories!

Yesterday I ate 31/25g of fibers!

Yesterday I ate protein on every meal!

Yesterday I didn't drink alcohol!

Today I rucked for 1 hour, carrying 6.5kg, for 4,6km!

(My girlfriend's home city is REALLY DRY at this time of the year. It's cool 'cause it's way cooler than my city, but it sucks because I'm used to humid weather. My mouth felt like a desert during the ruck, and I downed my entire water bottle. My lips still feel a bit dry, as does my nose. It sucks.

I was also kinda miserable for most of the ruck. I'm at day one of this month's period, wich already sucks; combined with how sore I am from yesterday calisthenics - got my butt ans my legs hurt! - and the small anxiety crisis I was having today, it was quite a hard experience.

It was worth it, though. After rucking, stretching, having a snack and showering, my anxiety is mostly gone. My mind feels calm and quiet. It's really good. Seems like "moving the body to quiet the mind" quite works huh?)

Today I stretched my upper body!

Felt really great.

2. Zazen

Today I meditated for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening!

(The heat was my enemy on these meditations today. Feeling myself sweating made relaxing and focusing quite difficult. But I did it! And it was really easier in the evening, after I exercised and stretch.)

And that's it for today! See ya folks!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Bene Gesserit training log: May, 14th of 2024

1. Fighting fit

Yesterday I ate 1.695/1.707 calories!

Yesterday I ate 31/25g of fibers!

Yesterday I ate protein in all meals!

Yesterday I drank 1/2 dose of alcohol. This wasn't my goal, but oh well.

Today I did my Recommended Routine!

- Scapular pulls: 1x4, 1x3, 1x2

- Bar hang: 1x10s, 1x8s, 1x8s

- Bulgarian split squats: 1x7, 1x8, 1x8 and 1x5, 1x6, 1x5

- Triceps dips hold - bended knees: 1x40s, 1x37s, 1x37s

- Glute bridges: 3x8

- Inclined row (waist high): 1x4, 1x4, 1x4

- Inclined push-up (knee high): 1x4, 1x2, 1x2

- Plank: 1x20s, 1x34s, 1x23s

- Side plank: 1x22s, 1x15s, 1x15s and 1x14s, 1x11s, 1x12s

- Reverse Hyperextension: 1x6, 1x5, 1x7

I also stretched my lower body!

- One-Leg Pike

- Pancake

- Butterfly

- Calf stretch

Oof, calithenics today was tough! That got me breathing hard, folks! And, surprise, being almost immobile for 15 days takes a toll on your strength gains!

Also, fuck squats and all their variations, I swear they tire me like no other exercise.

But I did it! I'm back at resistance exercises, baby!

2. Zazen

Today I meditated for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening!

It was easier than yesterday. I just felt discomfort while in seiza, not pain anymore, and we had way less noise at my girlfriend's house, which made things easier.

I just had a bit of trouble focusing in the evening, as I'm a bit anxious and annoyed. I guess it's PMS' fault, my period is due tomorrow.

Today's training is done! See ya, folks!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Bene Gesserit training log: May, 13th of 2024

Yesterday was rest day!

1. Fighting fit

Saturday I ate 1.631/1.707 calories!

Saturday I didn't drink alcohol! (But I did on Sunday, so that's enough for this week)

Saturday I ate a source of protein in 2/4 meals.

Saturday I ate 11/25g of fiber.

Not my best day, but fuck it. I still made an effort, and that's what matters!

Today I rucked for 1 hour, carrying 6.5kg, for 4.56km!

It felt really good! This is weird to say, but I think I was missing exercise lol. It also helped that I managed to see the entire sunset, with all its colors. I saw the sky slowly turning yellow, orange, red, turquoise, purple... it was really beautiful. Made my walk a delight.

Today I stretched my upper body!

2. Zazen

Today I meditated for 5 min in the morning and 5 min in the evening!

It was cool. I had some trouble calming down my mind, because I'm at my girlfriend's house, which is quite different from mine. Different noises and all. But I still meditated for the whole 10 minutes, which was cool!

And that's it for today folks! See ya!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Studying: May, 11th, 2024

Back at those studies!

Today I got my goal of 3 hours of study!

That's 61/184 days of study this year.

33.15% of my goal!

Today I learned all about trash lol. I'm studying the National Program of Solid Residues. Should be dull, but luckly I quite like learning about the preservation of the environment. It's quite an advanced law, actually! Interesting! And I managed to finish one of my "missions"; look at that yellow petal there!

I'm a bit tired, but I guess I lost some study stamina after those days of rest. But I'll get my stamina back!

See ya!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Bene Gesserit training: May, 11th, 2024

Heyo! I'm back! I think the influenza finally left my body completely, which is quite a relief! So I'm back to my routine!

1. Fighting fit

Today I just stretched my lower body. One-Leg Pike, Pancake, Buttefly and Calf Stretch.

It felt good, but I'm quite stiff, which is to be expected after almost 15 days of complete rest! But I'll get my flexibility back.

I also drew a little mountain of kilos for my weight loss goal of this year. It has one little mountain for every kilo, and I get to paint them when I reach them! I dubbed it "The Way Out of Obesity", because when I reach 69kg I will finally not be obese anymore!

It is quite colorful already!

2. Zazen

Today I meditated for 2 minutes and 30 seconds in the evening.

I know, it's a ridicularly short amount of time, but I'm following my guideline of trying to do less on the weekends. Which means half of my daily goal.

The good thing is that my mind is finally starting to get calmer and quieter, and I'm starting to actually feel good and relaxed during Zazen. Makes me want to do more, but I'll get there! No use in trying to hurry things!

And that's it folks! I'm back, and the week is almost gone. Tomorrow is rest day.

See ya!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

The Angry Playlist - Part 4

16. "Into the Void", by Nine Inch Nails

These are quite some different instrumentals. They're disconcerting and uncomfortable. The melody is something too, like it was made so that one part doesn't quite fit the other. Quite electronic too.

I think I kinda like it.

The lyrics sound insane and despairing, like you're disappointed in yourself. Funny how the music also sounds like it's "slipping away". They're trying to save themselves but can't find fertile ground to do it; in this sense, it's quite a self-destructive song.

Catchy. But not a lot of rage, mostly frustration with yourself.

Song: 6.6/10.

Rage level: 2/10.

17. "Less Than", by Nine Inch Nails

This sounds quite 1980's electronic music, with thr caracteristic guitar and synthesizers. The guitar is quite present and distorted, almost sounding like it's screaming at some points.

It's quite a frustrated song with a political vibe. I mean, it was 2017 and it mentions missiles in the sky.

Song: 7.9/10.

Rage level: 5.5/10.

18. "Every Day is Exactly The Same", by Nine Inch Nails

This has the 80's percussion and synthesizers. The beat and the dragging guitar and vocals bring this aura of repetition and monotony, which is quite in tune with the lyrics. You feel almost sleepy in some parts.

The lyrics are sad and trapping; talking about being crushed by a routine that has nothing to do with you, that crushes your owns self, and seing this repeating itself until the end of your life. Talk about capitalism as existencial horror, my dude.

"No love and no pain" and not knowing what else you could do finish the despair. This is a crushing song.

Song: 8/10.

Rage level: 1/10.

19. "Wish", by Nine Inch Nails

This is quite a quick beat, and sounds really alien. Almost like ancient internet or an angry alien ship. Quite "electronic", literally. Sounds like ancient technology, which makes sense, since the lyrics say they feel "souless".

This gives me anxiety. And it is quite angry, for sure, the kind of angry that makes you break everything around you.

Don't really like it.

Song: 4.5/10.

Rage level: 8/10.

20. "We're In This Together", by Nine Inch Nails

This also sounds alien. The beat also sounds incomplete. The distorted guitar is almost screaming. The singing is disconected from the beat and the melody, but sometimes the guturals and the guitar almost seem to mix into each other. It's quite ominous.

The ending is calm, but ominous, which is a good contrast with the rest.

It has a defying vibe, kinda like "us against the world". It's tragic, ominous, but full of love and defiance. Kinda like "King and Lionheart", from Of Monsterd and Men.

Song: 8/10.

Rage level: 2/10.

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

My goals for May of 2024

Okie dokie! Let's try and adjust course for the month of May! If it everything works out, I'll start on these tomorrow!

Fitness (Bene Gesserit training)

First step: getting to a reasonable weight.

My goal: to get to 69kg by the end of the year, which would get me out of the "obesity zone".

I'm at the second level in my weight loss journey (got below 45% of body fat), so my habits this month should be:

Eating 1.707 calories a day (that's 85% of my TDEE, if you consider exercise)

Eating 25g of fiber every day

Eating one food that's rich in protein with every meal

Drinking alcohol only 1 day a week, and no more than 3 doses

Avoiding (not eliminating!) ultraprocessed food

Do some zone 2 cardio (rucking) for 1 hour, 3 times a week

Do some resistance training (calisthenics) 2 times a week

Stretching 6 times a week

I hope to lose, at minimum, 1,45kg this month, and no more than 3,22kg (which would be 1% of my body weight a week)

2. Studying

My goal: I wanna study on at least 184 days this year.

I'm planning to try 6 hours a day this month

So, I wanna get at least 16 days of study this month to keep up with my goal.

3. The Angry Playlist

Just dedicate 1 hour a day to work on my Angry Playlist

4. Meditation (Bene Gesserit training)

Ok, this was supposed to come later, but my therapist recommended I start meditating to help with my anxiety, specially given that I've been having small panic attacks. So I decided to anticipate this part.

I've been doing Zazen meditation. Here's the link to what I've been doing.

It's quite simple (which doesn't mean it's easy). I've started it this week with 5 minutes every early night (like, right after the sky's gone dark). The most difficult part has been the posture, as sitting cross legged gives me back pain (which, what the hell, I used to do this all the time as a child! Fuck my mobility, I guess). So I've been sitting in seiza position, which is a lot more familiar due to my background in karate. It still hurts my legs a bit, but I'm guessing it will stop with time.

I hope to keep meditating 5 minutes more every week until I get to one hour a day. Let's hope it helps me!

And that's it! Let May come!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

April/2024 - Results!

Heyo! I'm feeling a bit better and I hope tomorrow I'll be able to slowly restart my schedule!

Today I decided to post here the results of how my goals are going these days. There are based on stuff I mesured on May 1th of 2024:

Fitness (Bene Gesserit training):

My weight went from 81.8kg to 80.6kg, losing 1.2kg. Not bad! But I still wish I could have lost a bit more.

My neck stayed at 36.5cm.]

My waist stayed at 89cm.

My hips went from 113cm to 115cm. Oops, we got 2 cm more! Bodies are weird as fuck hahaha.

That means I went from 44% of body fat to 44.9%, which is weird.

Just gotta keep going! This was a hard month, with a lot of sickness.

Studying:

I managed to get 36h and 30 min of studying done in April.

And 12 days of study. That's a bit less than I wanted, but well, I got sick a lot!

Music:

I'm working at the "Angry Playlist"!

And that's it! Not the best of months, but I was ill for most of it, so this was expected. No problems! A journey is made of valleys and mountains. Gotta roll with it and keep going!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Heyo!

Hello, folks, guess who just got ~~~ILL~~~~! 🥰🥰🥰

Yeah, no, I just got the swine flu (H1N1) and have been bedridden since then. Which has not been FUN! =D

I think I'm recovering, but just leaving this here to explain my disappearence. I think I will stay away from, like, EVERYTHING until May the 10th. I've been unlucky with illnessess this year, and I wanna give my body COMPLETE REST to see if it can recover before I attempt to restart my fitness and studying routine.

It sucks! But what can I do, right? Gotta rest, gotra recover, or I'll make it worse. Respect your body!

Anyways, see ya!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Fitness log: April, 28th, 2024

Yesterday:

1.723/1.822 calories!

2/25g of fibers.

Protein on every meal!

Two doses of alcohol!

Today:

REST! See ya!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Study log: April, 27th, 2024

3 hours of study!

60/184 days of studying!

32,60% of my goal!

And that's how I end my week!

I drew a mini study flower to get those pesky tasks I had left behind. Let's go at them!

It was an interesting day. I studied some of the National Program for Solid Residues, which was quite interesting! Just realized I was taught the wrong concept of recyling my whole life hahaha! Turns out a big part of what they taught me to be "recycling" was actually "reusing"! -1 point for the educational system, boooo!

Unfortunately I am having a bit of anxiety due to my dad asking me poignant questions about my studies. He didn't really say anything wrong, I just think it's a trigger for me at this point. Time to try and relax a bit before this becomes a full-fledged panic attack.

See ya!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

The Angry Playlist - Part 3

11. "Closer", by Nine Inch Nails

This really sounds "industrial". Don't know if I like the instrumental aspect that much.

It is quite interesting, thematically. Has some "profane x divine", "animal x divine" vibe. Kinda like " Take me to church", from Hozier? This thing of the desired person being divine AND animal, heaven AND hell, salvation AND sin.

Cool, but doesn't vibe with me personally. Maybe I just don't have enough christian guilt for it.

Song: 6/10.

Rage level: 1/10. No rage, just horniness.

12. "Head Like a Hole", by Nine Inch Nails

I really like the melody and the instrumental on this one. Specilly the kinda of "tribal" percussion on the beggining.

It IS angry. Angry about money, greed, misused power and control.

I found it cool how at, some points, the vocals sound like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum; the repeated, increasingly loud "No, you can't take it away from me" does a good job of making rich capitalists sound like spoiled brats.

It is a cliche at this point, this comparison between God and money, and this song is not subtle about it all, like "God money", come on.

Also "you're gonna get what you deserve" is quite glaringly the "Protestant ethics and the spirit of capitalism vibes".

It is cliche, but it's still vallid and cool.

Song: 7/10.

Rage level: 8/10.

13. "Discipline", from Nine Inch Nails

Somehow, this one reminds me of "Supermassive Black Hole", by Muse. This one didn't really agree with me, melodically.

The BDSM theme is interesting, but I don't know if I really got the association they wanted to make between BDSM and societal discipline. Like, where were they going with it?

Song: 5/10.

Rage level: 1/10.

14. "Only", by Nine Inch Nails

This one seems to be made to be unconfortable. Like, the instrumental sounds quite dissonant, almost incomplete?

The vocals sound almost spoken.

"I made you up just to hurt myself" is quite a good verse.

I don't think I like this one too much. But it IS interesting.

Song: 6/10.

Rage level: 2/10.

15. "March of the Pigs", by Nine Inch Nails

This is an interesting title! The lyrics are also quite cool, they sound almost poetical.

I love the instrumentals and the melody. I keep coming back just for them.

Song: 7.5/10.

Rage level: 8.5/10. Now THIS is rage.

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Fitness log: April, 27th, 2024

Yesterday:

1.720/1.833 calories!

25/25g of fibers!

Protein on every meal!

No alcohol!

Today:

Lower body stretch!

Heyo!

Yesterday was a bit complicated on the fiber department. As I said, I was out of black beans, and it turns out that they're pretty important to my fiber goals! Still managed to get there, but I gotta cook some more beans this weekend!

And today the stretching felt good. I'm less sore than yesterday, which is surprising, given that the second day after resistance exercise is my sorest. Not complaining though!

The only one that I had some difficulty with was the butterfly stretch, which is not common. What exercise did I do that made my inner thighs sore? Lol!

In other news, I don't think I'll get my fiber goal today. As you can see by the pictures, my parents took me to a fancy sushi restaurant. Sushi is delicious, but it doesn't have a lot of fiber! It's ok, though. Breaks are good and allowed!

See ya!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Study log: April, 26th, 2024

4 hours of study today!

59/184 days of study this year!

That's 32.06% of my goal!

Heyo! As you can see, I managed to color some of my petals today, which was really cool!

Unfortunately, I had to change course on my studies. Just realized I had studied some wrong subjects on my way, and neglected some more important ones. No big deal, it was not a lot, you know, but I still gotta put my trails in standby for a while and go back to those.

Let's go!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Fitness log: April, 26th, 2024

Yesterday:

1.766/1.822 calories!

32/25g of fibers!

Protein at all meals!

No alcohol!

Today:

Rucking: 1 hour, carrying 8kg, for 3,33 km!

Stretching: upper body!

Hot damn I am SORE! Calisthenics KILLED me from yesterday. It was actually painful to stretch, lol. I'm sore at my arms, chest, forearms, belly, legs, and butt. Like, ALL of me.

Still managed a good ruck today! And got to an important checkpoint!

Like, I don't know if I already told you guys, but I'm doing the Eoywn Challenge - The Hobbit Edition! So, I've been walking in Bilbo's footsteps.

And today, FINALLY, I reached the border of the Shire! Like, I'm at the Brandwyne Bridge! I'm finally leaving, hahaha!

Felt good, you know? Took a while, but I'm leaving my Shire.

To reward myself, I'm planning on getting some fancy soap tomorrow. Some PHEBO one, that smells really really good.

Also, I need to buy and make my food. Gone are my black beans, and they're important for my fiber intake! Also, mom ate my whole wheat bread, which means I should buy some more tomorrow.

Doing good! But damn, am I sore!

I'll leave you guys with my little Shire map, showing where I am. I'm going on an adventure!

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

The Angry Playlist - Part 2

6. "Disasterpiece", by Slipknot

This has a pretty "dirty" instrumental. As most of Slipknot's other songs until now, it just seems like a collection of random angry phrases. With an excess of gutural vocals and no build up.

I think a psichotic crisis would be a lot like this.

Music: 5/10.

Rage level: 7/10. Quite desperate anger by the end of the song.

7. "BFG Division", from DOOM OST

Ha, I do like soundtracks.

This is quite electronic sounding.

It has some build-ups, but it's honestly quite repetitive.

Quite angry, though.

Music: 7/10.

Rage level: 7.5/10.

8. "Last Resort" by Papa Roach

Huh, I think I've listened to this one before.

It sounds more melodic than the others. And it's kinda like the music I used to like when I was a teen. I do like the use of gutural vocals here.

But it's more sad and despairing than angry, actually. Depressive and suicidal.

Problem is that the best part is the melody; the lyrics didn't impress me much.

Music: 5/10.

Rage level: 2/10. This is not angry, it's sad and desperate.

9. "Have a Drink on Me", by AC/DC

Ok, I don't know what was this person thinking when they recommended this to me for an angry playlist, because this is not angry. It's actually quite cheerful.

AC/DC's guitar is always cool, isn't it? It has a good melody, it's happy, it has good energy, and it's drunk. The kind of music you would scream along at a bar.

Music: 8/10.

Rage level: 1/10. No fury unless you count the guitar.

(Pause. Here I start to go full "Nine Inch Nails" on this playlist. Hold on tight and let's go)

10. "The Hand That Feeds", by Nine Inch Nails

This was actually my first contact with industrial rock, and it triggered an obsession with it (more on that later). I love the melody, the instrumental, and how it sounds dirty and distorced.

It's quite a brain worm, it keeps repeating in your brain long after you hear it.

The lyrics are really cool. Quite some christian guilt and revolt at the same time. I love the contrast between the guilt trip of "Will you bite the hand that feeds you?" and the indignation of "Can you get up of your knees?". It sounds a lot like someone convincing themselves to react against an unjust situation, while the rest of the world keeps telling them they should be grateful. Which... relatable.

Good stuff.

Music: 9/10.

Rage level: 7.5/10.

[randomprojectsbeforeidie]

Study log: April, 25th, 2024

Hours of study today: 4 hours.

Days of study: 58/184.

31,52% of the goal completed.

Heyo!

So, today was a full day. I had to go do some medical exams to renew my driver's licence, and it took the better part of the afternoon.

Still, I managed quite a good study time! Today I started a new "study trail" (Number 03), which you can see above. I drew a brand new flower for it.

Didn't manage to color a single one of the petals, though. Portuguese is a challenging topic to study, and I had to go through the material with care and patience. Hopefully I get to start coloring tomorrow!

See ya!