rawlewdindecent

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Caturdays

I went to a cat show today…. And yes, it was as bizarre and ghastly odd as you’d expect it.

Kittens crying shame whilst women and men poked and probed them. Judging them… “You’re tail is too long, your face is too fucked!”

At one point, I turned to Matt and said, “I think everyone here knows everyone here.” Then, instantly a low, stern voice bellowed, “Yes, we ALL know each other.”

Great lady,…

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Havana

I sit here after a long ass hiatus….wishing to write.   Wine glass in hand. Wine bottle nearly empty next to me. I hope.         I’ve reconciled with my Best Friend this past year (2017). It has been most amazing. I have reconciled with my BFFE and I have lost my sister in the process (she is irrelevant). Actually, I have lost a lot of people last year.  But, nevermind it all. Never mind it…

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Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been

I have been doing a shit ton of “maturing” this past year and this new year. I am not going to lie, recently I had a massive breakdown–which ended up with holes in the wall and reverting back to old, dangerous behaviors; I swore I would never ever do again. I was asked to leave my house and I shacked up in a hotel for a weekend.

Alone, I drowned in that eerily familiar sorrow for an entire…

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Mess is Now Mine

Mess is Now Mine

I couldn’t help myself. I must have played this over and over a million times. Every time I pressed replay, I felt him burning inside. It wasn’t just his voice or the way he carried a tune– it was his soul bleeding; bloody and brute. It was the subtle hums and low strums that woken a part of my heart I watched wither away and die…

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Falls Apart 

It’s been a while blog; long since I’ve neglected you as I do every thing in life. I’m sorry I abandoned you. I am sorry I only come around when I need relief from this incessant insanity. 

I’m lost again. I’ve lost my way from serenity, and found myself consumed in anguish. 

I lost control of myself again, blog. I snapped and destroyed two lives amidst my rage. I couldn’t contain the fire. I…

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Open Letter To That Guy Who Rules Nothing

Open Letter To That Guy Who Rules Nothing

Dear A-hole,

I don’t give a fuck if you don’t know where this is coming from but you are about to get hit with some seriously real shit, like seriously R-E-A-L.

First and foremost, you look like a douche with your thigh high socks and shorts. I don’t know if you thought you were going to start some sort of style “trend” but UMm no. You didn’t. You won’t. You look like a fucking douche.

Secondly,…

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Bang, Bang That Awful Sound I was five and he was six We rode on horses made of sticks Love could be defined in the most precious of moments and the most wretched of times.

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Don’t Be A Dick: Tips From The Tricks Of The Trade

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Swinging 101 - The Four Carnal Steps. Chances are you and your partner are: Developing in interest in Swinging or want more information on the Lifestyle.

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Cigarettes After Sex

I once read an article published by The Counsel Rock School District stating there are 4 phases of grief alongside the 5 stages of loss.

Dissonance phase–This is the initial period after the loss when nothing literally “fits” or makes sense. It’s been called a “personal holocaust” because of the devastation and the extent of anguish and emotion that sweeps over a person. It can be a time of…

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Stepford Knives

So recently, one of Matt’s close guy friend got engaged. It was quick and kind of hit us all out of left field but hey, he is a 30-something year old man and is entitled to do what he wants. After all, it is his life- his decisions. Right?

Well, being the kind person I am I tried to welcome her into the group with ease. I felt if she was comfortable and felt apart of the group, Matt’s friend…