rawxlife-blog - Tumblr blog

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I can never remember a time in my life where I was "fit." All through out adolescence and my early adult years I was the noticeably overweight girl who was brutally made fun of. Through the taunting and the teasing and the ruthless behaviors of my peers, I turned to food for comfort. It was a str...

For those who know me, you know I have struggled with weight my whole life. Over the last two years, I have been able to lose 90 lbs and also maintain that weight. Even though I am proud of myself and know that I am happier and healthier in mind and body, I continue to struggle with self esteem and body image issues. I look smaller on the outside, but my appearance is deceiving. It is probably my best kept secret that what you can't see with the naked eye is less than appealing. With such a big weight loss, the skin on my body was unable to snap back as I had desired and thus I am left with pounds of "loose" skin that even with weight training, proper diet, etc., will not return to normal. Thus, in order to complete my transformation, my only option is surgery. I consulted with a surgeon at Fletcher Allen Health Care and she let me know that the cost of the surgeries I need will total over $19,000. Even at such a great cost - I knew and continue to know that this is what I want (what I NEED) to feel complete peace of mind and accomplishment. I have been saving as much as I can over the last year and a half, but with the expenses of life (student loan payments, rent, insurance, etc...) I have barely been able to save half of the total cost and as time progresses I am able to save less and less. It is time for me to start stepping outside of the box for options. I have consulted weight loss shows and networks, and even wrote to Ellen Degeneres! (haha). I don't want to come across as looking for charity, but I feel like I need to share who I am, where I came from, and where I'm trying to go and if I received any form of help or encouragement along the way, I would be eternally humbled and grateful.

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Whoops, guess my leg was already posted on tumblr.

Ashley love

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Thanks to @ohashleylove from Thicker Than Water Tattoo in NY, NY.

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My Morrissey tattoo done by Mike Adams (@mikeadamstattoo) at Thicker Than Water Tattoo in NY, NY.

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And this is me back to not wearing color, awkwardly standing in front of a train with my mom.

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Even if you wrote do not hump you, I will hump you, dew dew :*

A poem!

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You are so damn voluptuous, it should be a crime. Go ahead girl!

Me what no

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love you.

Love you more.

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Dnh.

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Sleeveless summer.

And yes I do have my shirt tucked in. Judge me.

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JUST TWO SINGLE BABES @nickxdee @ericesun (Taken with instagram)

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All healed!

Thanks to Keenan @ Good Ink Tattoo in Waterbury, Vermont.

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you have lost so much weight and are looking great girl! your confidence shows in your photos and it just makes you that much more beautiful! keep it up and smile more!

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Acceptable dog park attire right? Okay (Taken with instagram)

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