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Hanif Abdurraqib interviewed by Ruth Awad: Joy Is Not Promised to You

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Applying to jobs and then getting rejected has to be one of the most soul crushing experiences ever!

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As I am growing old, the fear that I will end up becoming a big disappointment while taking every major decision keeps on increasing. All I ever done is disappoint my parents and the younger me. I wonder if they have gotten used to it now ? I wonder if I'll meet the younger me right now...will she be disappointed ?Or am I just thinking too much?.

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All I want in 2024 is happiness, peace and money.

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I have never related to a thing more than this.

It’s weird to grow up in a family where you know you’re loved but you don’t feel loved. And then later in adulthood you understand how almost impossible it seems to cross that distance and let yourself experience closeness, how otherworldly love feels now and how love feels unbearable at times. You flinch when someone tries to wholeheartedly love you. And over and over you see so clearly how you cannot be loved unless it's from afar and love is mixed with that familiar sensation of distance and coldness.

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I'll always come back stronger than a '90s trend!

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" Infatuation, they said, will always end in misery"- anonymous.

Nabi always knew what she wanted.

she wanted the love you read about in stories ... true love!

love where both of them are loyal to each other,

love where she can open about anything or everything.

But with park jae-on, she always had these conflicted thoughts....

"should I or should I not? ... does he even care?.. why should i even open up when i dont know a thing about him"

she wanted him to take a chance and keep himself bare Infront of her.

but, she forgot it's just a "friends with benefits" relationship and park jae-on never promised her any commitment!

she crossed the line by falling in love with him! she always knew how this all will end up.. she had to know! everyone around her was warning her. HECK! EVEN HER PHONE WARNED HER BY SWITCHING OFF THE MOMENT HE CALLED!!.

but as someone once said..

"Infatuation will always end in misery"

.

.

it did end in misery.

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You don’t need the whole world to love you, just a few good people.

THE GREATEST SHOWMAN (2017) dir. Michael Gracey

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But our love is like the wind. I can’t see it, but I can feel it. A WALK TO REMEMBER (2002) dir. Adam Shankman

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infatuation, they said.. will always end in misery.

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I saw you today while you were crossing the road laughing with your friend, he probably made some gaming joke which I never ever got and you always did.

and I just wanted to scream at the top of my lung " Look ahead a car will come and hit you!".

you see, you have this insane habit to never look ahead. be it on roads, your own future or the relationships.

but, I didn't.

.

.

.

.

I couldn't!

I just silently watched you go by and vanish in a crowd of thousands of strangers.

but as you went by I took a last glace, a long last glance..

and trust me, if universe would have granted me any wish at that particular moment.. I would have wished for it stop everything for a few minites, even you.

just so I could look at your face and just you, and let my brain form an episodic memory of your smile and how everytime you used to laugh, the area beside your eyes used to crinkle, and just touch the texture of your long curly hair and intertwine our hands just to measure it beside yours and have a good laugh realising how small my hands looked beside yours, or as you used to call them " minion hands" and just adore you.

just one last time...

.

.

.

just one last time I wanted to say "i love you" and hear it back from you but you vanished in a crowd of thousands of

strangers...

.

.

.

and became one too.

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I had so many dreams about you and me..

Happy endings, now I know.

@taylorswift

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can’t talk right now, I’m doin hot squirrel shit 🐿

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It’s the first kiss, it’s flawless, really somethin’ It’s fearless.

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"one lesson I did learn was that people touch your lives with memories in the strangest way possible, leaving themselves behind long after they're gone."

- a random comment from YouTube.

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this better manifests or I'll literally have a good cry!

good things will happen 💫

things that are meant to be will fall into place 💫