remarkablemarie - Tumblr blog

[remarkablemarie]

When people say a million things especially " I love you" what comes to mind? What kind of love is it? Whom do you feel thins for? How long? I really thought, maybe I really believed, that there was a happy ending. Maybe I was nervous. Maybe I was caught in the moment. Let's say this I have never felt unconditional love before, I have always thought I had it but never felt it. Even as I look back now it was never there. I presume I just wanted it. It seemed nice and sweet. I loved the fact that most people do not have unconditional love. most people say they have it. Do they? That person will soon betray them that[person will choose themselves so should I be filled with envy should I be this saddened? When unconditional love is just an idea?

[remarkablemarie]

My insecurities lie deeper than I let on. My hurt travels further than one knows. My heart breaks ten times harder than you think. My eyes only produce half of the tears I want to let out.

[remarkablemarie]

When your heart hurts like mine hurts, you lose hope in love. You lose hope in happiness and the simple idea that someone might actually be good to you or even for you.

[remarkablemarie]

" You aren't really you, Are you?" -Unknown

[remarkablemarie]

" Now my madness is the only love I let myself embrace" -The Weeknd

[remarkablemarie]

Sleeping is nice until you wake up and realize you're still sad.

[remarkablemarie]

And He said when the sunsets and the nights seem long and dark. I will be there. When darkness creeps into your heart and you feel empty. I will be there. When all the world seems to fail you and you feel utterly alone. I will be there. For He said He will never leave nor forsake me because He loves me. Even when I am not worthy and I give into things of the world. He will love me. Even when I get lost and forget His name. He will love me. He told me so, and His word is bound. His word is right for he is the one and only God.

[remarkablemarie]

And he said " It is hard to love without a heart" and at that moment she knew. She knew there was only one thing she could do. While the most logical was to leave him. She was not a rational woman. So she did the silliest thing she could have done and with tears in her eyes cause she knew what this meant she said " Well, we can share mine" and with that, she lost herself. Everything becomes about mending his brokenness, helping and healing him in his pain. Little did she know she was destroying the only pieces of herself.

[remarkablemarie]

" Nobody is actually really, always good. They just say that because they do not want to talk or think about it just yet"

-Britt

[remarkablemarie]

When love dies we cry. When love thrives we destroy. Why can't human beings just let what needs to be, be? Why do we push, tug, and change things that simply will not? Why when we finally get what we want, do we still ask for more? Why can't we just be happy with the settlement? Why when one thing goes left we sink the entire ship.

[remarkablemarie]

and as I lie I yearn for his presence. His companionship, although my friend is the best and always there cannot make my heart feel the way he does. I am broken, lonely, and just plain fucked up.

[remarkablemarie]

The Thief

there is this thief that comes out of nowhere and steals your heart and soul. He captures it in his hands and walks around like it's a trophy. This thief has my heart and soul. He is gone like the wind. As I try to steal his, I come up to find that he is gone. It is with another and I cannot steal it, but mine is gone and to have it back and move on would be the most logical choice. However, since I am not in control of mine, I shall stay. I shall enjoy every moment I have with my thief.

[remarkablemarie]

You

and here I am missing you, thinking of you, out of the blue. There you are not caring, not worried. I bet I am not on your mind. I bet you did not even take your precious time to think of me. I bet you are disgusted with me in more ways than one. Here you go Britt thinking about all the ways you are not the one.

[remarkablemarie]

[remarkablemarie]

No friends. Trapped in a never-ending cycle. I am always alone not that it really matters. I have always been this way. Alone. It is what's best for me, not like anyone cares. I am trapped in a world of darkness. I walk alone and stand alone. Only in the next world will I have true friends, ones that understand me. Then maybe I would be happy.

[remarkablemarie]

Days

And there are some days I cry

And there are some days I wish I die

And there are some days your face is what lightens my heart

Other days your name is what tears me apart.

[remarkablemarie]

Scared

I am scared to wake you

I am scared to think

I am scared to love you

I am scared to walk

I am scared to hold you

I am scared to smile, because some days you feel the same, and I can see that. Other days you look at me with a frown and do not speak. That is our love. We are fucked up and twisted.