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rooseelyy-blog · 7 years

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A Certain Salty, Modernized Symphony

*Tap* *Tap* *Tap* . . .

And so it went on and on and on and on (Journey would be happy).

Those were the disoriented sounds my dusty laptop keyboard makes whenever I sit in front of it for the next few hours after a “cultivating” day from school; either used for work or for entertainment purposes. Those endless tapping sounds are my everyday, and no one could possibly order me to stop because if it weren’t for those irritating spats, I wouldn’t be able to achieve any of my dreams.

But though, even I used these keys in order to tap it for academic and work purposes, I wouldn’t mind the fact that I am one of the billion victims of modernized symphony.

And then...

What the hell is modernized symphony?

If you never have caught the word before, don’t worry, the whole world doesn’t have an idea as well because I made it up--just to be a little metaphoric.

Modernized symphony is a subjective word for my soul, but as simple as I can be, it is the improvement of technology over the past few years humankind has been living in this world full of unexplained things, very similar to the alteration of generations into X, Y, Z, and then straight to the senseless build of millenials.

To go straight to the point, I hate how communication works in the Internet, but I immediately contradict that by apologizing to the internet because it’s definitely people’s fault for using it as something as a regular tool for communication rather than a maintenance.

I’ll tell you a story about it: Relationship through internet.

And that’s gonna be the ugliest thing in the world.

I mean, who invented Online Dating Sites? There are far too many real people around you to be stuck in the world wherein you chat with total strangers wherein you don’t even have the idea if that person is really a person (maybe he/she is a cow? . . . . Now laugh)? Mediated communication reeks, it’s broken, and it must not be one’s everyday.

That’s why I seldom use Facebook,

And never created a Twitter Account.

I didn’t mean to hurt the makers or the ones using it for the right purpose, but there are just some of the majority are taking stupid actions of giving everything they got for an online couple.

I’m sorry for being subjective because of the experience I’ve got. I wasn’t a victim, nor I didn’t meet her over the internet. We knew each other personally, but since it was really heart-blowing for me to talk and start a relationship with her by saying “I love you” right in the middle of her nose, so I started by chatting her, until it came to a point that mediated communication over the internet because a regular to us, and never a maintenance. All I wanted to see her, but she refused and excused that we frequently chat every day...

I mean, why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to see you?

I know that reading this would totally sound like ranting to others, but this is my symphony, and I know that there are some people who have the same thoughts as what I’m trying to convey here. I don’t want to hate too much because I’m a part of it. E-mails and online messages are very important for work too, plus there’s this fact that if you’re away with someone you love, you’ll be able to use mediated communication tools in order to feel like they’re by your side.

But what I’m telling is: Mediated Communication tools are for maintenance, and never will forge around your every day lifestyle. You have a world around you, and the symphony of people’s hearts are true. Now that we couldn’t avoid the uprising modernization, all we could do is to continue the teachings left in older generation, for they live longer than us, and they’re disappointed of how people are heading into the sense of technology usage.

“Tap my keys further,” my keyboard said. “But use me for the better.”

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rooseelyy-blog · 7 years

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From the first page . . .

What’s the fun fact of being a human? What’s the only thing in this world that money can buy? Love? No . . . these days, I think one can buy love, but what can’t we buy in a world in need of a money? Okay, think about it.

Think . . .

Still can’t figure it out?

Okay, okay, I’ll tell you: People are free to dream, no one will ever ask you for money just to think of a dream you have, whether it’s short-term or long-term, a dream is a dream, subdued with goals, dreams are what humans are made of, the one freedom that can never be taken away from us. Whatever the possibilities maybe, or whatever the situation is, no one has ever spent a nickel just for a dream.

A childhood maybe is the foundation of a dream, it may alter in the future, but as a child who’s wealthy with great imaginations like believing that toys are alive when we’re not looking and imagining ourselves as some sort of fantasy character using a stick to pretend that it’s a sword to simply fight with the air when in the eyes of daydreaming, there’s an enemy we’re facing. Okay, those dreams are bogus, let’s get into the real thing here. Remember when we’re in grade school, and the teacher would ask what we want to be when we grow up? Then someone from the class will raise his/her hand, and state some stereotyped careers like yearning to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police, or an ASTRONAUT (LAUGH PLS T_T), whatever thing that pops out from a child’s mind that can be a role model to someone. But some of us has a foundation, an established monument of ourselves that still is running on a higher post up until this day, like me--and I’m writing this to inspire others who’ve yet to confirm a dream career for themselves or people who’re in the same page as me.

Dreams . . . oh, how fun is to dream. Something that’ll make you float on the clouds imagining things like bearing success in life and a never ending playback of me swimming in a pool of money. Of course I’ve dreamt of that too, up until this day, who doesn’t want a pool of money? But what else? Being rich does not mean being happier than others, so there comes the love of your life. Yeah, I’m shouting today that it’s fun to be single, but obviously, I’ll need someone to be there for me, to protect me, to love me, and a woman who’ll build my world. We’ll bear children and live in this fancy mansion inside an expensive subdivision of nature. What else? There’s so many dreams of mien that I could identify right now, short-term and long-term it is, I can list a hundred in here, but I’ll be too tired and too senseless if I put it in that way, so let’s turn into the main event of the text.

Dream career?

Those 2 simple words one could ask you out of the blue.

As far as I could remember, the first career I ever imagined myself seeing in the future is in computer engineering. I think I was about in pre-elementary schooling in kinder and heard that my father graduated chemical engineering, and all that mattered to me was to change the concept into the word “computer” because I was a child who learned to use a desktop computer at the age of 3, and I was breaking things.

That dream suddenly vanished when I learned the beauty of food, when I appreciated the taste of the everyday need of one individual, and for that, I yearned to become a chef, and told it to my parents. I was in 2nd grade I believe when I learned to cook nothing. My parents meanwhile encouraged me that it was a pretty nice dream, but I never was like my older brother who dreamed of becoming a doctor from the start of his early mind, and now he’s starting to pursue it.

I discovered Diary of a Wimpy Kid series when I was in 4th grade, and that’s when I found my liking in books, children series that are way too easy to read than a thousand-word novel, but you thought that I’m going to dream about writing! JINX! NOPE, I wanted to draw, sketch, and paint, cause you know, the novel has drawings. Again, my brother is a pretty good artist, I’m serious. I couldn’t believe the talent that guy has, he’s good in science, and his good at art? What the heck? Why did I never receive such gift when the person relatively close to me acquired it? But I tried, bought a few pad and pencils, and erasers, then started trying to sketch anime characters that I’m so addicted to, but then again, for not being a prodigal worker of a graphic art, and so did my maturing mind gave up, and somehow resorted to something like figuring out in the later part of my adolescence.

Eventually, I continued collecting the series of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, but never got the hit of something that might occur to the future, and then on my 6th grade in elementary school, it was a rainy October afternoon, just any random thingies happening between kids who’re looking something interesting to do rather than playing toys that were starting to bore us, two of my close friends came to me with a plan of writing a book. WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WAITWAITWAIT, you’re asking me to write a book with you? Why was I so surprised? Of course I was not overly melodramatic at those types, I kept my cool, but why was I so surprised? He said that we should write in English--since he was a transfer student from Saudi Arabia and he speaks English very fluently--but I was probably the worst English speaker in class, I always fail when it comes to spelling examinations, and I couldn’t compose any sentences with the right grammar, and now he’s asking me to write something in English, not just simple writing like an answer to a question or an essay, but it’s a book! A BOOK I SAY! I have no idea how to write one, and I’m pretty much sure on those times that it’s hard as hell to even try to write one. From all the traffic jams trying to stuck inside my head, I was amused, excited, and agreed upon the terms. The three of us will write one novel that composes of a story every kid needs: FANTASY. Yes, we want fighting, we want war, and we want blood, that’s what it is. I could still remember, Aftermath was the title of the plan, and we decided to use our pocket money to buy this brown notebook to write into. I have no idea what aftermath means, so I just went with the flow, not until the time that my friend who started the plan started getting selfish and wouldn’t let us two write our opinions in there, and all he did was to write up whatever flashes down his head. I never thought it was hard, but it was harder when someone starts a debut novel with co-writers. It’s hard to cooperate with one another’s plan, and 12-year-old beginners who haven’t done any research about writing would be something as messy as your closet.

Months later, the two of them started to give up, we never touched that notebook again and never planned to try and grasp a story inside our heads, simply, we gave up, or THEY gave up, while I was there, lying on my bed trying to think of things from my maturing mind, nostalgic of things, like what was I doing with my toys when I was younger, creating a city of Legos and stamp a story behind every person, or a crossover story of toys of Snoopy, Patrick, Jollibee, and Minnie Mouse, I’ve actually created a story out of it, and mind you, I was so young when I played those toys. I’ve learned so many things of being a video game addict. My vocabulary improved because of the knowledge I gained from it. That one nostalgic day of a 12-year-old boy finally realized what might be his true intention, his passion, and his purpose in life, that is to become a writer.

So I started, started all over again with the basics like buying tons of books from the money that was mugged out of my piggy bank, and my mother started complaining, and my older brother started laughing at me when I was trying to read his Michael Scott collection when he said that can never read a book without any pictures in it, but I showed them, I showed them what I’m really capable of when my mind’s suddenly became maturer because of an establishing dream. I read . . .

and read . . .

until I couldn’t anymore.

I’ve taught myself how to write novels of different genres by checking out the internet, any articles, anything that could help me, then I started when I was 14, I think it was on about late August and I was bored, and tried to stick with the founding dream of mine. I bought a Corona notebook out of the bookstore with a Maped pencil, and started trying, trying, trying. I got something out days later, it was entitled the Oblivion Well and I went overly assuming when I tried thinking of it as a kind of a Harry Potter book that would rise up to the word as a series, but mines a six series book of a fantasy novel that came from different references of books, anime, cartoons, movies, and etc, but they all came from pure mediation of mind. I still remember the name of Kairi Harrison, a woman that has sharpened eyes, long curly hair, fair skin, and slim that has an ability to cast lightning out of her fingertips, but the story never got an ending, never got a solid foundation, or a character profiling, or an outlining to guide me, I just wrote carelessly, until an unfortunate time came when I encountered a writer’s block and I couldn’t do anything anymore but to start all over again.

I started with the learning progress again, I taught myself about outlining, character sketching, and everything that could improve in order to build something anew, and then I got it, when my brother got himself a new laptop, I secretly sneak in to use it and try to write on Microsoft Word. And I was underway, I was able to create an outline on my late 14-year-old view of life, and I wrote my possibly debut novel of We’re in Heaven (which title soon altered as White Flowers from Heaven).

I never realized that I was investing so much time on something that possible couldn’t give me something as an output, but it could also go the other way around. I never realized that it’s a passion, that writing for me is like eating and drinking, I need it everyday, it has become an everyday habit of mine that sometimes I ignore some school works just to create time for writing my novel. That’s the time I finally grabbed it, that the real me must deserve to be a novelist.

White Flowers from Heaven is a story of Skyth Labrith’s quest to find friendship’s way into his vocabulary, but it went deeper into that when the love of his life appeared before his very eyes. I stayed working on the progress from 15 years old up until now that I’m almost 18. It’s almost three years when I planned the scene, and I successfully wrote 438 pages without the knowledge that I did so. It’s in its fifth draft-fourth revision, and I still need critiques to read and improvements to gain before officially presenting it to the public--and I still don’t have the money to publish a book, but eventually, time will come from all I’ve done.

I may not have said everything that could be running in my mind from the start of dreaming, the process of my everyday life when it comes to writing never changed from the past 3 years. I’m a workaholic boy who’s willing to cancel all his plans just to give time for writing, that’s how I am today, but of course, I still prioritize going to school because it’s a way for the improvement I still need. I know I’m still way beyond the stages of J.K. Rowling or George R.R. Martin, I’m nowhere near them, but I still thing optimistically that time will come and I can be like them, a renowned author/novelist is what I want in life, and nobody, and I mean NOBODY is going to stop me.

The first story the build my novelist foundation which is the The Oblivion Well is now going into the depths of a real fantasy story. The protagonist is now named Autumn Farleigh, and the information and characters within the story are now being polished.

These things are something I could never have done if it weren’t for other people’s motivation. They told me I couldn’t . . . that’s why I did.

“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.”

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rooseelyy-blog · 7 years

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There’s A Hero Behind the Microphone?!

He may not be aware of it, or he may not know me personally, I treat John S. Gemperle as my superhero, better known today as Papa Jackson (formerly as Papa Jack of 90.7 Love Radio Manila, but now transferred to a different station at 106.7 Energy Fm).

I’ve told a million times in my blogs that I love radio, I have a personal old radio that’s larger than your computers at home. It’s so old that even dust is too elusive to run away from it, a radio that still runs with an antenna and never with an internet connection.

I’ve discovered Papa Jackson when I was 13, when I was a young boy who cares more about being manly rather than thinking about the stuff he yearns to do once he grows up. That WAS I used to be, I was ignorant of the world, clueless of the emotional minds of people, no idea of what’s going on around my surroundings, until I open my radio once, searched channels at the middle of a boring night to merely seek for comfort to sleep and entertain myself at the same time, and then I met him, a person speaking to millions of people behind the microphone, frankly talking to people whose hearts were scratched by the blood of reality.

He was still Papa Jack back when I met him, and even as a child and hearing a young adult guy swearing and shouting on-air was just enough to make any parents push that off button, but since technology invented earphones and I could easily run away from that part, I was addicted by this guy whom am treating as my superhero. The person that opened my mind into the realistic world.

I’ve learned that a lot of people go through tough times, it could be a quarrel with the person they love, to family, friends, work, and anything that could hurt a person’s emotions, because when our hearts are tackled by a strange invisible force called “frustrations”, “depressions”, “disappointments”, “problems”, and “misery”, it definitely pains us more than physical pain does. So there he was giving practical advises to people and doing the kind of job for 12 years, unaware of how he helped people fix their puzzled hearts.

I’ve learned a lot from him, the superhero I treat, like I was transformed into a whole new different person that is capable of knowing what’s on peoples minds and how to cope and help them get through it. I became a great adviser to others, but some misinterpreted me, from how practical and old-fashioned I am when it comes to romance, just like how Papa Jack is being interpreted by the post-modern world. I know that technology is uprising and so as the things that used to be are also being alter, unused, unrecognized, and unseen.

That’s what I’m planning to mission, I aspire to become a superhero to others someday too, like what Papa Jackson has become in my life, I’d like to continue his legacy if ever so, to show to the world of what’s really right and wrong, that love is not a step away from your home, that it’s not easy to get someone in your arms, that men needs be trained by woman to become their man and an advise like “Pagniligawan ka ng lalaki, sagutin mo agad, para makita mo agad ang tunay na ugali niyan,” is stupidity at its finest level, and I almost hear this coming from peoples mouths and girls totally agrees, and I’m like, “What, are these people out of their minds?” Yes, it makes sense, but men are like dogs, we are creatures of habit, and girls, you need to train us, train us to become your man so that when we’re officially together, we know how to protect and be faithful to you. (Oh, sorry, go a little of subject. Sorry! Provoked). Again, I want to show the world again what the true meaning of things certain things again, I want to show that every problem has a solution, and no man is an island for we never should feel like we’re all alone.

Be a superhero of the emotional heart is what I yearn to become, the same superhero of the emotional heart that I look up to until this day.

“Life is always going to be unfair for all people, and that seems pretty fair.”

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rooseelyy-blog · 7 years

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All in the mind

Any scary encounters you guys ever experienced? Well, asking the question to me, I have none, that’s why I do not believe in ghosts or any fictional beings living in the same dimension we are in. To see is to believe for me, and it’s hard for me to take a toll on believing in these spirits who’ve said to have forgotten something before going to the afterlife. Yes, there are many proven facts that ghosts are true and I’m a coward when it comes to ghost stories, documentaries, and movies, but at the end of the day, I refuse to give my mind on these beings on which I classify as “mythical”. Anyways, someday, I may prove myself wrong when my late grandmother suddenly shows herself to say “hi” when I’m fixing myself in the mirror. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll welcome her with a hug or just go for the run.

It’s all in the mind still.

Then when it’s all in the mind, where would we see these unseen creatures? Through the 3rd eye? Noooooo . . . . I call the 3rd eye as “mythical” too and people with paranormal imagination are victimized by this half-superstitious belief. So where would we see them? First, daydreams, but then again, even though I’m a highly renowned daydreamer, I’ve never seen a ghost or different cultures in my sunny life, so then there’s my question again . . . so where would we see them? (that’s a cliche). For me, I’ve seen these creatures in dreams, so allow me to share 2 of the most recent scary encounters I experienced when I jump on a familiar soft foam of goodness, and rested my head on the relaxing rectangular thing what the world classify as “pillow”. I entered the dream world.

1st . . .

I think I dreamed about it last year, on November. I came from a tiring day at school doing various stressing subjects and I awaited to see my bed later that day. I came home at about nine in the evening with an empty stummic on which of course I had to travel one and a half hours from school to reach the place I call home. As for my hunger, I bought something to eat on my way home, and ate it at our house with a mountain of rice placed on my plate. I was so tired so I decided to jump to my bed after cleaning up--still with that full stomach--but as for I’m not a dedicated believer of the superstition that you should not sleep with a filled tummy, I decided to sleep after doing my ritual of drinking water before I rest as for avoidance of sleep paralysis--it’s scientifically proven, sleep paralysis is a scientific matter and I don’t like to discuss, you have Google! Go and search for it.

I slept through my tiredness, and then there’s this weird experience I encountered when I closed my eyes, I saw a motioned picture of me first-person view of me on a ride, drooling on the window to see the road. I thought I was not asleep because I opened my eyes again to see the ceiling of my room, but when I closed it again, there’s the road again. I thought it’s the same road I tackle every single day going to school, and the same ride I sit into everyday. It’s weird, but I’m scared. I feel like my body’s underwater and my head’s exposed to breathe. I’ve closed and opened my eyes numerous times and it continued happening, until the dream on the road continued playing and my ride fell of the cliff and I had to wake up fully when I jumped out of bed, check the clock through my cellphone as I saw that it’s 6:14 a.m., and surprised me that it’s morning. I’m not sweaty or anything, but as soon as I remembered, I thought I was just sleeping 11:00 o’clock in the evening, but when I opened my pair again, I was there, sitting on my bed with the sun opening the brand new day . . . weird.

It’s like what you call a dream in a dream, and it surely was terrifying.

2nd

This is probably the simplest one. Around late February, I dreamt of this certain place wherein I’m like inside a soldier’s barracks filled with double-deckers with the whole class was inside. I don’t know what time it was or even remember if there’s sunlight coming from the window or not, but what I’m sure of was I’m with this particular classmate, I was sitting on one of the beds, and she was on the other bed beside it. We were talking, and mind you, we were not very close that’s why I’m certain that something’s wrong, and weirder was that we were talking about a particular assignment in one of our subjects. She said to me that she’ll sleep, and I never got the chance to ask her where were we as I see our other classmates from the background playing around, but my eyes were like a camera, it only focuses on the person I’m talking or looking to, and everything from behind seemed blurred. Then the terrifying thing happened when she lay in bed and she started floated. I was about to run towards her, but I couldn’t move, not even my eyes to look around for help. It was like exorcism and as she floated, she started swirling none stop like a roulette. No one was noticing it, but me, until she was thrown to the wall, and blood spilled all over the place as I woke up.

I woke up, sweaty, and it was 2:14 in the morning as I checked my clock. I was woken by the sound of my door slamming close by a strong wind. I close my door slight whenever I sleep, and my bed’s right beside a large window, and I always leave it open whenever I sleep, so obviously, I knew the wind was not anything paranormal. But even with the optimistic mind, I couldn’t sleep anymore, even when I close my eyes for the longest time. I didn’t want to wait for the next hour knowing that there’s some of those saying that 3:00 is the devil’s hour, but it took me an hour to enter the dream world again, even though terrified, I had a good night sleep from thereon.

I don’t know if dreams about terrifying encounters actually mean something, but scary dreams wouldn’t convince me to believe fully on ghost, I thought it’s still all in the mindset of us whenever we sleep, what’re we thinking of before we go to sleep.

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rooseelyy-blog · 7 years

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Shhh . . .

Yes, I guess I’m a little vexed of the additional 2 years of high school when I really wanted to achieve my dreams in a much earlier time, but do I have any choice? Yeah, but I just realized things that rushing things might result to a bad result, so I’d rather grab this opportunity as the pioneer batch of the Senior High School in the Philippines settled up by our Department of Education.

Since I planned to take entrance exams in schools, I got only have one mind set on which track I should include myself into: HUMSS (Humanities & Social Sciences). Primarily, I stress about Psychology and Communication, and then I just remembered that being something like talking to a microphone while being heard by thousands--or even millions--of unknown strangers is the dream career I’ve been planning to step into once I finish the difficulties of education. So there you go, I listed HUMSS-Communication while I took the examinations in De La Salle University something (no, I’m not going to reveal on which branch), but there you go, I passed the exams, and my parents enrolled me to a prestigious school wherein I never thought of the environment when I spent in one school for the first 13 years of my education, and adding a new ambiance in my spectrum might have anticipated myself for having a hard time to adjust. Nevertheless, I went in, and tried to see the results in the semesters and school years to come.

Why communication? Like, I said in my previous paragraph, I want to become a radio announcer someday to be more specific, a FM radio disk jockey to be exact, mostly because I’m an avid radio listener when I was a child, plus I love making hilarious or even corny humorous statements out of my mouth, and finally, I want to help people, but then there’s the question popping out of your head on why could I help people when I merely am talking to a microphone that my voice is being broadcast around the place, and how may I communicate with my listeners? Okay, okay, let’s not rush things, remember? Let us tackle it one by one.

I am a consistent radio listener since I was a child, and various DJs I love on hearing are Ms. Chaha, Chico Loco, Nicole Hyala and Chris Tsuper, Mr. FU, Sam YG, Slick and Tony, all of them, but the one I admire the most is Papa Jack, now known today as Papa J after he changed stations to 106.7 Energy FM, and just started speaking to everyone on March 20 after being absent on air for more than 3 months. I’ve been influenced by these people to complete the puzzle of a dream to be part of their industry someday.

I love jokes, and even love it more when it comes out from my mouth. Usually, I’ve discovered this when I learned how to be sometimes sarcastic with people, but then I thought it was not too nice to play a bad role to people I’m talking with, and since change is constant, I believe that changing is so easily, as for example is taking a bath and coming out as a whole new different person; that easy! So I’ve lectured myself to pull those sarcasms out and place it on a better thing as jokes to win the laughs of people. I love making people laugh, smile, and everything Joy from Inside Out would appreciate. I’ve got numerous classroom clown medals, and although I’m not showing much of it in my new school--because that’s how hard it is to adjust on my perspective--I know that some people are getting the hint of it. The reason? The reason why I want to put a smile on people’s faces because if certain someone has something heavy they carry behind their hearts, a single laugh would be able to help them forget what’s going on, because laughter is the best medicine!

Lastly, what built me to dream for a full grown aspiration to become a radio DJ is to help people with their problems, emotional problems to be specific. How? If you listen regularly to the radio, you might get a hint of what I’m trying to say, that most night shows in the radio features callers longing for advice from the person behind the station’s microphone. I was inspired by my idol Papa Jack, and Papa J gives frank and harsh advises to his callers for he has limited time talking to them and the only way to make this person realize reality around him/her is for him to lecture on what is realistically right. I want to do that, I want to imitate what has he been doing, but on my own style, on my own way of wanting to deal with people who wants a person to lean onto, and even when we’re both strangers to each other, that call is a way for me to make him/her feel that there’s someone who cares for them, to push to them the realization of the thought that “No man’s an island”.

A lot are saying that the radio industry is dying from all the technologies uprising year by year, from all the social networks and websites that might is more entertaining like hearing the voice or a song of someone over an old machine that contains a lot of buttons, and would make you drool for a signal for several minutes before getting a wanted feedback. I do not believe that it’s dying, I know there’s still a lot of people out there who are like me, who are willing to serve as listeners on one of the first entertainment devices from the nineteen hundreds.

That simple, why I chose to become a com student is all because of the dream I’m still holding onto today, and being in a school that facilitates a radio production company excites me. Though I’ve got to admit that I have a hard time speaking in front of people, and even when I plan to talk in front of a microphone, I would still have a mindset that there are people listening on me somewhere. I want to be able to improve my public speaking, yes, I hosted a lot when I was in high school considering that I was known there for being a longtime student and a student body member, I was able to reach my full potential for I was so used in the environment. Nevertheless, I know that someday not too far beyond today, I would get that comfort to show to the world that I could be one of those people who influenced me when I was a child.

Aspiring Radio Disk Jockey of 2009

Radio Listener since 2008

Oh, almost forgot, one more point of studying communication is because I also aspire to become a dubber, an anime dubber, so wait ‘til you hear Eugene’s Tagalog voice and my awesome trailer voice . . . “THIS SUMMER.”

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rooseelyy-blog · 7 years

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Sakura-Flavored Ambition

It has been a sole question by a lot of people of what places are you dreaming to travel to someday. Cliche it may be, but we never get tired of being asked by these kinds of questions since it follows up with an amazing storytelling session on why you deserve to fly to this place, and why you like to be in there when you have your own country to be on. It’s such a wonderful thing to travel the world, to see the beauty God had given us to enjoy and make life as a whole, and not merely exist in a sad-strange world. Travelling might be requirement for living a life, travel to a certain place, and die without regrets. It’s so fun just by thinking it, but think further, it’s better when you’re in the place yourself.

Let’s face it, travelling is a dream of majority of us, who does not want to roam the globe? Especially when you attain it with the people you love--but don’t get me wrong, there are some who traveled the world alone--and it does not get any better than that.

So let’s go into the cliche part, think of it as if you’re asking me the question. Ready? Go.

Japan.

The country where a lot is yearning for, a country that’s has been the protagonist on modern technologies and new discoveries. It’s a place where you could find everything that could satisfy your heart and mind, and the rest of your existence. I mean, who does not want to go to a place where the world is always talking about?

I want to go to Japan, and this ambition has never left my mind since I was a child who started getting strangled by the beauty of anime that they built to touch and control my heart to the point that I learned a lot of story ideas from the aim of practical and realistic anime plot that usually flabbergast my feelings, and that’s why I learned to love ‘em, I like them so much that I never noticed that these drawn people of concept turned into animations and produced in different places have been the reliever of my stresses, and built the gentleness of my ego.

I learned to love Japan even when I’ve never been there before, nor I’ve ever been to another country from my almost eighteen years of life in this world. Again, flying to the Japanese’s country would be a pleasure and a check mark to my five biggest long-term goal of my life and I’m planning to visit it with my family or friends--or maybe the girl of my dreams, my other half, the one destined to be with me forever until the day I die--and that would be the greatest experience I can ever pull outta my life.

As an aspiring novelist, I’ve learned that a journey of experience would build you as a best-seller, a novelist must engage in a trek that creates a continuous close of the eyes and meditation in different places absorbs the ambiance of the place you’ve been through, and that’s a part of how you extract those out of a story by basing it to your personal wisdom, and that’s when you can get a good book out of you.

It’s not just anime I plan to discover in Japan. Yes, it’s the home of my favorite series and I can probably visit some conventions that can get me out of my sane due to consistent demand of satisfying myself. I could gait around the country too, enjoy my time not only in Tokyo, but walking in the streets of Okinawa, Hokkaido, Fukushima, Kyoto, Ozaka, and Nara would be a privilege for me. It will feel like I’m bursting in tears because at one point of my life, I only see those experiences in my imagination and nothing else, but being able to be in the place I’ve been imagining before will get me emotional like never before, and I learn to love the kind of feeling.

I love nature, I’m a big fan of trees, mountains, seas, farms, and other naturistic (I know it’s not a word) things mother Earth had gifted to us, and as far as I know, Japan’s one of the countries that’s strict when it comes to their natural resources, and I would love to be in the kind of place. I feel bad whenever I see a forest being burnt down just for the sake of building something for other people’s convenience, like I want to point out an example for our very own natural resources in Coron, Palawan wherein the plan of building a theme park is being petitioned by many and I’m one of those guys whose trying to rant about the quest. Seriously? Destroying the wild just for a silly amusement park? Humanity can live without a kind of construction, while animals who live in that spot can’t. Can’t they imagine the wild life living in there are the same as we? They have beating hearts too and we share the world with them, and since because we are stronger than them, we abuse, and take everything away from them. We have Enchanted Kingdom, Star City, I know it’s pretty far away from Palawan, but we have a lot of the kind of buildings living in the world. I’m sorry if I got a little off subject.

Mt. Fuji’s the one I plan to be driving to. Driving in a road while overlooking the volcano would be so satisfying, I could probably make a poem right away from the silliness of my inspiration and motivational meter that ranks high whenever a beautiful land point I see. I’m sorry if I haven’t done my research well, but I like to see that radish-like-tower in Kyoto, and the Osaka Castle that’s just a thing a beauty to visit. And like what I watch in animes, I yearn to visit some shrine that’s everywhere around the country where they usually offer on those offertory box, throw money, and pull the string on top of it to ring the bell and it’s the time you pray for your wish. I never confirmed if it’s accurate before, but since it’s about on every anime series I watch, it’s true, and I want to try it our myself.

I may never say everything I like to say about my reason why I want to go the country of rising sun, but I love it, and that’s what love is, it’s undefinable, because it’s love, and that’s how I explain it; okay, I’m getting a little bit off subject again. Yes, the thing of beauty no other country could have, what I like the most about the country, and that’s the Sakura trees with it’s cherry leaves falling down in front of your shining eyes. These trees are best seen in spring wherein it blooms at its brightness, and it falls down in every single bit of your inspiration, and I think that’s a great way to start up an everyday. I thought I got a first-hand experience of cherry blossoms here in the Philippines. I study in this school wherein it’s awarded as the greenest university in the country and we have this walkway street wherein it’s filled with titanic trees and dried leaves fall down whenever we gait through it. I know those are dried leaves and not like those pinkish dream, but who knows, I have a great set of imagination behind my head and I always thought of it as something like Japan. It’s such a poetic experience to be able to have cherry blossoms raining down to me, and I think that is just enough to bring a writing paraphernalia with me to be able to write my novel in front of those storming leaves. The Sakura-flavored ambiance I dreamed to be in, and that’s one thing I can never get out of my head whenever what the circumstances may be.

Japan is a place a lot of travelers are looking to go primarily because it shapes them as a whole and a perception of not being able to award yourself of being a traveler if you never fly to Japan as a tourist. I do not plan to be a traveler as a whole, I just want to visit certain places that built my childhood ambitions, I still love home more than anything else, but as for experience, maybe my first flight in a structure that flies 50,000 feet up in the sky is to the country that fills my Sakura-flavored ambition.

Thank you mother Earth, I’m grateful.

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rooseelyy-blog · 7 years

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“May the Force be with you.”

Through the first phrase of Ben Kenobi in New Hope to send a good luck to our Luke, through Empire Strikes Back and Darth Vader’s Death in Return of the Jedi. Passing by the prequels of Qui-Gon Jinn’s message to little Anakin until his team-up with Kenobi and his love for Padmé in Clone Wars, and the emperor’s conviction of him to join on the dark side for Revenge of the Sith. Years had gone by and recently for 2015, Princess Leia Organa quoted it to the admirable Rey before he meets the old Luke Skywalker. It temporarily concluded in the hidden depths of Rogue One’s story. I believe that the saying continues until the trilogy ends its service to the film industry in 2019 (or maybe they’ll continue to episode 10, who knows?)

“May the force be with you” is a phrase used to wish an individual or group good luck or good will, one that expressed the speaker's wish that the Force work in favor of the addressee. The phrase is often used as individuals parted ways or in the face of an impending challenge.

As an avid Star Wars fan and follower, I am very pleased every time I hear this quote and it relieves me from all the stresses their films had given me--especially when General Leia said it to Rey in the end of The Force Awakens, I mean, literally, I sighed in relief that after Han’s death and everything, they all looked to be hinting a happy ending--like this quotation had given me something to look up to, something that prescribes my life through the heftiness of the dreams I’m wearing today.

I’d like to apologize too that Ben Kenobi’s yell to Anakin before he ‘almost’ dies in their fight before Revenge of the Sith ended. “You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the force... not leave it in darkness!” I love it too, the impact of his shout and the tenseness of their fight concluded with such a nice piece of statement that made us viewers realize that they were prequels, and there was a Luke Skywalker that started the movie less than 3 decades ago.

Let me say why I admire the shortness and complexity of this quote. “May the force be with you” might be as simple as it could get if you’re relating it to the movie that a Jedi is saying it to a fellow Jedi seems too obvious, while a non-Jedi is typically pointing out a ‘break a leg’ column of speech nowadays. But looking to its in depth status, competing it in real life, I think of this as something way more than a good luck, like I’m hearing that destiny must flow by the side of your journey, and the same goes for achieving your dreams. In order to get a hold of destiny, we must have faith with ourselves, with the force of our hard work and time, that’s when we are one step closer to our dreams.

We have this force in ourselves that we tend to use its energy for our daily lives to keep on striving to do better, to achieve what we want to attain in life, and we must not fall, because at the end of the path we choose lies the truth, and simply, we need to believe in it and continue without faltering.

Star Wars have this effect that combines the generation from the 70′s to the 21st Century builds this bond of greater interest with the film that shows that time does not the era of great stories that wrote the history of the industry. I know some of the same generation I’m in with are still virgins from watching any of the 7 films, its anthology, and its TV series, people will still figure out that if they hear the words “Star Wars” would have an immediate feedback from their minds of what they see in these movies and how it affected the world--because it really did when they have various theme parks around the globe, even have temples for Jedi training, and the Star Tours.

It must feel good for Ben Kenobi to be able to be the primary starter of this quote. “May the Force be with you” explains why people continue on leaving for having these hidden energies that we have in side our hearts and minds that makes us human beings as a whole, it never was something that’s just a cliche quote from a film, this statement might have done effects of why kids are wearing capes and wooden sticks for Lightsabers running around with their siblings wearing Darth Vader’s helmet and princess Leia’s chic hairstyle at the backyard is truly something why the Star Wars trilogy is one of the highest grossing film that impacted the Mother Earth’s industry for entertainment.

Now that I’m ending this blog, I would want to say that follow the journey of you life because no one’s going to live it for you, believe in the faith and calm everything about yourself before achieving those big goals you have in your life, and whatever challenges and failure happens in front of your sleeves, always remember that you’re never too old to do something amazing. There’s a rainbow always after the rain . . . oops! I thought I was wrong there, that’s a line from a song, right? :) Adios and . . .

“May the Force be with you.”

Star Wars IV - A New Hope (1977); Star Wars V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980); Star Wars VI - Return of the Jedi (1983); Star Wars I - The Phantom Menace; Star Wars II - Attack of the Clones; Star Wars III - Revenge of the Sith; Star Wars VII - The Force Awakens; Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

And to the next films of the trilogy I’ll be waiting for.

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rooseelyy-blog · 7 years

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The Songs of New Year’s Eve

Nobody thought it would be, but sunshine’s back, but nothing wouldn’t really care because it creates no noise. The sound of the humming wind was more than enough to still-feel the lights of Christmas left in the shady dust of your winter coat hanging at the back of your room door.

It was a chilly Saturday morning when I wake up through the noises created by muffler-less motorcycles on which its owners intentionally removes it to create annoyingly loud sound because of the Philippine tradition of creating kick-ups to celebrate the upcoming change of the calender’s numbers--I thought its better than firecrackers whistling and piercing your eardrums--but so I did, and I’m not one of those strangers so eager to join the fun in building extravagant noises.

I went out of bed, heard it squish through its oldness, and my pillows wanting to splash its way into organization. I pressed click on my laptop to pop open the cool sound of Windows 8 premiering its desktop. I tapped my mouse to hear another sound of ticks of the button, and I thought I was in one of the best applications to play music, Spotify. Before that day, I was able to create a playlist readied for the sensation of ending 2016. 2016 Favorites was its title, the songs that accompanied me through good and hard times in the year, and I finally was grateful enough to play them again at the last day of the year. I heard that click of my mouse again to play open the first song.

I was surprised when I heard that song again . . . “This is Richard Marx.” I heard the lyrics flowing into the ambiance of my eardrums as I sang along with, “Wherever you go, whatever you do . . .”

Through the cantillate of Mr. Marx, I also listened to the great voices of these people several years older than me. Daniel Bedingfield, Haley Reinheart, Chad, Syd Matters, Rick Price, Kenny Rogers, David Gates, Joshua Kadison, Luther Vandross, Karen and Richard Carpenters, Whitney Houston, Bruno Mars, Ariel Rivera, Dingdong Avanzado, Martin Nievera, De Barge, Nina, David Pomerance, Dionne Warwick, Dixie Chicks, Owl City, Journey, Arnel Pineda, Peabo Bryson, Bryan Adams, Toto, James Ingram, Barry Manilow, Adele, Kristofferson & Rita Coolidge, Noel Cabangon, Patti Austin, Graham Russel & Russell Hitchcock’s Air Supply, Michael Bolton, Sarah Geronimo, Silent Sanctuary, Boyce Avenue, Michael Jackson, Eric Clapton, Anne Murray, South Border, Steve Perry, Brian McKnight, Restless Heart, The Fray, Florante, and Christopher Cross.

All through the sounds of the afternoon sun, our family went to the funeral of my auntie’s mother. I mean, we’re not really that attached to her, nor I knew the person really well, we were just there to sympathize, plus it was my uncle’s birthday (the auntie’s husband) and we went around with a little bit of silent celebration.

My dad yelled the car to drift away from home to soundness of Muntinlupa’s highway. I heard my dad once again stopped and parked to lead off the engine as we went down to hear voices of familiar people, and thought they were my relatives.

As I enter the viewing room, I sensed people having whispering conversations through the sad-strange afternoon wherein the sounds of few firecrackers and car engines from afar where starting to spread around the country.

I thought the music was over, but it was never was. I talked to my cousins just to hear my own voice and theirs. It was way cooler than I expected it to be and I have no idea if it was safe to say that even we were inside a funeral hall, I was having fun, we were drawing to slap playing cards on the table and the loudness of it pushes through the plastic stands. The laughter was the most valuable moment, we were having fun despite the bluntness around us, the those laughter was respectfully respected because I thought that dead people deserves to see smiles on the people he or she left.

Back to the quietly loud place I’ve always thought of, my home, and I heard the clock sounded its tick-tocks as if it was telling me that it was the last hour of the year and I should be setting up myself to start the year great.

I clamped my foot upstairs to our roof with my whispering laptop to suit the mood with the continuity of the same playlist I was playing earlier that morning. I played the song, and sang along. I heard myself talking through the mind, trying to reminisce the sounds of my year and how many ups and downs I’ve attained. I mostly found my year challenging with all the dancing music playing through the echos of my life that came so unhealthy with a lot of people taking a step back from my life, but at the same time, a lot of new ones started knocking into my threshold.

As far as I can remember, I sensed fireworks sounding in front of me.

All of those sounds I heard meant that 2016 had ended and 2017 was right in front of me, ready to play the next few songs I’m so eager to hear. Fireworks flying high and exploding at the sky, the noise of the motorcycles wrecking their engines, the horn of the cars that was never been so good on anybody’s eardrums, the banging of anything into a metal I heard from afar, plus the sounds I continued playing, but altogether, I thought they were all very nice. I’ve been living in the same culture every year, but it was the first time I’ve ever thought that those noise were somehow revealed to be beautiful when I heard some sensation tickling down the floor.

Rain.

It was raining in the middle of New Year and its sound was always been music to my ears, and I loved every single bit of the entrance of 2017. I love the hearing, and songs and hums those raindrops were trying to deliver on my ears were all just enough to bring myself into peacefulness.

Then I thought . . . the next song of my year had started.

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rooseelyy-blog · 7 years

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The Boy Who Smiled Habitually

The Philippines used to be a country that contained 10 years of basic education, one of the few countries who hadn’t have that portion called Middle School where pretty much all elementary student graduates head into.

Pretty much, we immediately bump into the depths of high school for four years, and swoosh! There goes college.

But a few years ago, the government finally filed a law suiting in for more years to come for basic education to purely prepare for the challenges and difficulties of college; to increase the rate of the degree holders in the country.

It was hard to accept at the start that we were rather called Junior High School than simply removing the word ‘Junior’ in it, and jumped starting to be named as 7th Grade rather than 1st year high school, but there it was, the K-12 Education has spawned in the Philippines.

I was the real ‘me’ in Junior High, and I’d like to share something about the blissful event I had on those 4 years now that I’m almost halfway done through Senior High.

I was in this school, a school I’ve became so loyal with that I don’t even know what to do if I transfer into another one, because for the past seventeen years I’ve existed in the world, I’ve only had an eye for one school, and that was the building I’ve spent thirteen years with--through the 3 years of preparatory school, the joy of the six-year elementary school, and finally concluding my journey by existing wellness in the 4 years of high school.

I stayed loyal and never looked back; considering that I am the grandson of that school that’s why my parents remained steady, and I was doing so well year-by-year.

Not to boast on anything, but I was a distinguished personality--obviously because I spent too many years in there and it’s no question that everyone knows me--I’ve been through a lot of competitions, inside and outside the school yard, and the biggest achievement I attained through it was when our group of 4 took on a General Academic Quiz Bee, representing our school here in San Pedro, Laguna, where reigned as the champions and the representative of the San Pedro for the Provincial round that we upheld in Pila, Laguna where surprisingly and elatedly, we won, we won the first prize for the highest school, and we gained medals, a bid to represent Laguna for the Regional Qualifiers where the provinces in the CALABARZON squared off in a brain challenge that flowed its tension all over my veins. I couldn’t believe it at first that I would be representing my province, but there I was, trying to answer these difficult questions of General Academics, and champions would be crowned to represent the region in the National Tournament, and I never imagined if we were going to be those, but unfortunately, we didn’t, we bagged the silver medalist, and that was more than enough. That was the greatest achievement I got when I was in Junior High School, and I will never forget it.

I was a CAT officer, when I was in Grade 10, and being a renowned officer was one of the best times in my life as well, I bore my second family through them, and I smiled everyday with them.

Cocky it is, but I’m a consistent honor student, but I’m not saying that I’m a genius, I’m merely something who tries to listen a lot, and also struggles to review for quizzes and exams because of the temptations of video games, I still considered myself as an average student because I know what a true genius is like, and it’s not anywhere near my description: A steady happy-go-lucky guy who talks a lot about sensible and senseless things, humorous speeches, and annoys a lot of people through my garrulousness, but some people do not know who I really am, that I only act outrageously noisy when I’m around an environment I’m so used to, and spending 13 years for a single school meant a lot for that.

I was the Editor-in-Chief of our school newspaper, and it was also a group I’m so thankful I had, because I knew I could never get another chance to pair with them. I wasn’t able to join the school newsletter in De La Salle because of motivational issues, I felt like I couldn’t.

Lastly, the classes I’ve been with, especially the section I was with in Grade 9 and 10, they were the best batch, and nothing could ever replace them in my heart, they were the best people I’ve been with all my life, and lemme get the chance the say thank you for the bottom of my heart, you guys are the best, and I will never replace you. I was awarded with classroom clown, and I’m friends with all of the 30 (I’m sorry if the number of classmates’ are inaccurate) that I always go to them whenever I feel that they are in need of someone, a reason to laugh, and I would favorably do it for them, I will make them laugh. That’s my perception in life, I pleasure myself by making people smile and laugh, I enjoy it, that I know for a fact that even if they have problems, they’ll laugh with me, and that’s it, even for just several minutes, they’ll forget all their worries, because laughter is the best medicine.

That was summing up the stories of who I was in middle school, I was a happy-go-lucky guy who rarely goes serious--only if necessary--I always smile with people, and I have tons of friends to lean on.

Now that I’m a new environment, I’m having a hard time to adjust. The introvert side of me aroused, and I’m still trying my best to cope goodly with people up until this day. I’m becoming the person I want to become, but I think I could never get back the ‘me’ in Junior High School, and I will miss ‘me’.

I apologize if I’m raising my name in this blog, please forgive me

Me in Junior High . . .

I will never forget those 4 years.

Thank you.

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rooseelyy-blog · 7 years

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Jim Photoglo’s . . .

. . . Will Of The Wind

“I’ve spent half my life, looking for the reasons things must change.” I’ve always stopped and wondered, how many times in my entire entity that I’ve looked through the things that altered? Of how many people who come and go , and how certain things should just flew off my life. I mean, I overthink about how good it is that some things in my life should change--for the better. How ironic it may sound like, but we never counted the nights we’ve overthought about the things that must be changed in our lives.

“And half my life, trying to make them stay the same.” Then here comes its contradiction. We live through the opposites and we couldn’t even notice it. Believe it or not, half of our lives, we’ve also spent on trying to keep things in shape.

The first two lines of the song just triggers me, pierces a newly sharpened arrow directly on my left chest. It’s so true that it hurts me. It hurts me to realize that human merely does not notice how constant is change.

“But love would fade like summer into fall.”

“All that I could see.”

“Was a mystery.”

“It made no sense at all.”

Uneasy steps of our lives, all of the challenges, the risk we take, sometimes nothing makes sense. Nononono, it makes sense, but it makes no sense, you know what I mean? That we do things certain things for sensible reason, yet at the end of the day, we couldn’t give justice to this senselessly sensible decisions we take in our lives. Urggggh! I’m not making sense.

“The Will of the Wind.”

“You feel it and then.”

“It will pass you blowing steady.”

“It come and it goes and God only knows.”

“You must keep your sails on ready.”

“So when it begins, get all that you can.”

“You must befriend, the will of the wind.”

We have our own interpretations, but when we sneak into the literal things, we could say that the story revolves around a sailor on a ship to nowhere. That’s when it hits you. None of us ever knows what’s next in our lives, it’s like travelling to arrive to chaos, the hollowness, to emptiness, to nothingness. That’s what life gives us, so we must get all that we can, we must be prepared for what’s life about to shoot us. Befriend, the will of the wind--go with the flow, and even when you’re lost, you’ll never be loss.

“I've spent so many hours.” “Thinking 'bout the way things might have been.” “And so many hours trying to bring the good times back again.”

Then here it goes again, overthinking leads to deception of ourselves, but we have no idea that we think too much about the things that happened, on what other way you should’ve done to make things better, to result a different capture of a certain past of us. We’ve spent too much times thinking about the good times--especially in our sadness--that we wish that we could go back to it, but we know for a fact that it will never will.

We humans bind ourselves in the depth of the past.

“And so it goes for lonely hearted fools.”

“They let their days slip away.”

“Until they give into.”

Then there goes the song’s chorus again, like rain, slowly trickling down our face. This song is so honest, and I won’t make any statements to show how proud I am that this song was written, that Jim Photoglo sang it through its very feelings. Hands down too for Ms. Jamie Rivera for reviving the song here in the Philippines, I love her version as well.

Songs really trigger humans. Music is merely the escape for everything we have. Songs are expressions of people’s emotions, but are just too scared to say it out loud.

So when it begins . . .

Get all that you can . . .

You must befriend . . .

the will of the wind . . .

I may have not explained it well, but listen to it, you might just know how contradicting and submerge life is.

I love old songs, through 60′s, 70′s, 80′s, and 90′s. The songs written and sung in these years are amazing, everything you want to here about what you’re emotions are too anxious to voice out. No discrimination and hate to the 20th and 21st century songs, but oldies are just my type, they build the person I am today.

I’m an old soul, trapped on the 21st Century.

Will Of The Wind Jim Photoglo (1993) Jamie Rivera (2005)

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rooseelyy-blog · 7 years

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Deviated Joy

Yeah, disgusting and untimely to post such a picture that’s cropped into a smile of recognition. I don’t know where to get a picture of me, I do not have a lot of ‘selfies’ of my face, I prefer having the kind of image that dignifies the beauty of the world--and then I’m not making any sense with the main subject. How was I this day? Happy? Glad? Jubilant? Delighted? Elated? Any word to describe a joyous albino guy.

The photo was taken by one of my classmate and close friend--the picture’s cropped and she’s on the left. It was almost our Junior High School Graduation and it was around mid-March of 2016, and my life was never as I expected, I was jubilant through the first three quarters of the year, but something changed to re-align the life I used to have.

I won’t bring any suspense and commit any strange statement, my happiness was based on mostly a great family and loyal friends, all shoulders to lean on. I mean, I still have them, but it’s not what it was used to be, transferring school was the hardest part, and I missing my shoulders to lean on. We still hang out every once in a while, but I deprive the days we would be in each other’s side; eating street foods, playing basketball, and fooling around school (hey, it’s studying! I just want to say it in a cool way). Anyhow, since I’m rooting for no suspense at well when I’ve given enough of it, the gladness in me was all about a girl, a gal, a woman, the gorgeous woman of my life, the dream lady of me, and being attached to her was the best thing in the world, we were best friends.

Long story short, I lost her, she lost me, and there we were merely strangers with memories.

I admit that I didn’t commit anything of it, I didn’t tell her I love her until it was too late, and it happened, a particular reason separated us, and it’s up to you to guess that yourself. I don’t want to bring it back, I still want her in my life, but then she had to go, my world fell apart.

But there was something else more for me.

I aspire to become a writer, and that pushed me through, she left me, and I went to the right direction of focusing more in my dreams. I focused on writing, write everyday for hours, read like there was no tomorrow, and play video games for entertainment just to subside the eternal sadness I was feeling, yet, it was not eternal at all.

As of today, I found my joy in writing, it is my escape, my everything, down to my fourth draft of my possible debut novel. The goal of my life just keeps getting bigger and bigger as the day goes by. I’m being my worst critic and my best adviser.

Who I am now? I’m happy happy. Glad. Jubilant. Delighted. Elated. Any word to describe me as of the moment, a deviated joy that built the new me. I still have a lot of people to go to when I’m lonely, still have friends, and my road to greatness does not end with a single person. I’ll keep on striving, used the lessons of the pass, and never be afraid to fail because that’s when we learn, and I’ve lectured myself countless things to be the person I am today.

2016 was still a great year. I accept the reality that some people will not be there for you forever, they all come and go--and then that’s when new ones come again. I can’t please anyone, so I’ve got to please myself.

2017 here I come. Whatever the odds would distress to me, I accept reality and fight these challenges. It’s going to be a great year.

------- ‘Til I publish you.

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rooseelyy-blog · 7 years

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The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker

Was I broken? I don’t know, maybe I was seeking for something else, something that could relieve me from everything that I felt, something that could say, hey! You can get out of this sorrow.

Then there I was taking myself for an early afternoon bath, rode a PUV somewhere around the word--oh! I mean next city. A mall particularly. I usually go out with myself at the times when I want to meditate, think about things happening to my life, or if I plead to be inspired and motivated. So there, the main reason I went by myself to the mall was the second thing: think about things happening to my life. I went to watch something in the cinemas, do not remember exactly what was the film, but I went with that, I view to the theaters alone, not because I have no friends or a best friend to be with, it’s just that, there are times that you want to be alone, be with yourself, give something to yourself.

After tagging along with the cinema for a couple of hours, as for a habit whenever I go to the mall, I bring myself into the bookstore, with money or without money, I take a look at those shelves filled with caramelized papers, stamped with magical words that can make anyone drool into a different worlds. Specifically, the finest bookstore in the Philippines, National Bookstore on which I planned to buy something; I did have money that day. So I went for something cheaper like a pocketbook, but it was not really that cheap when it’s 315 pesos, but since I’m a favorable book collector, I didn’t mind, I practically save my money only for this agenda. So I bought the book I found good to read which was S.J. Watson’s Before I Go To Sleep. I wanted more, yes, I didn’t want to go home with only a book in my hand, I want something else, but I had to think what it was.

That’s when I thought that I wanted another one, but since I’m going low on budget, I couldn’t sneak myself back into the shelves of NBS because it was pointless since my money was not enough for any of the fiction books in there.

This is one of the simplest stories of my life, happened about 4 months ago. I went to another option, another bookstore which shares a lot of different varieties of fiction novels. We all know it as BOOKSALE. We all know it as cheap, but I never called any books as cheap, no matter how bad it is, finished and published novels are always great, they always have a value, and always printed in the eyes of the world as a piece of art. I really prefer going here, NBS just had a lot of new releases, while the works in this bookstore are old releases still published by formal authors.

I searched, since it was obvious that I really had to browse everything in the store since it was solidly a palace of printed papers organized in white shelves and a counter where the clerk seemed so bored. Then I found it, on a shelf, third rack, got my attention as I cherished the moment of pulling it out of its organization.

“The Age of Miracles,” I read on my mind.

Without hesitation, I read the description on the back of the cover, the first page, and the title again. Before I knew it, I was in the counter, pulling something out of my wallet.

I came home to abruptly start my quest on the next world I’ll get lost in.

“The only thing you have to do in this life is die," said Mrs. Pinsky . . . "everything else is a choice.” “Sometimes the saddest stories take the fewest words.” “Who knows how fast a second-guess can travel? Who has ever measured the exact speed of regret?” “This was middle school, the age of miracles, the time when kids shot up three inches over the summer, when breasts bloomed from nothing, when voices dipped and dove. Our first flaws were emerging, but they were being corrected. Blurry vision could be fixed invisibly with the magic of the contact lens. Crooked teeth were pulled straight with braces. Spotty skin could be chemically cleared. Some girls were turning beautiful. A few boys were growing tall.”

---- Karen Thompson Walker

These are only few of the quotations, words, statements, and everything that aroused and pleasured my mind.

The Age of Miracles is about an eleven-year-old girl named Julia, who was having the title to herself, having an era where miracles happened. At first, people never felt the change, never felt anything suddenly, but as time shifted, many had thought that time was becoming something else. That’s when the news announced that a single day of 24-hours is extending. On the first couple of months, it came to an extension of seconds, then minutes, until it consistently lengthening, until day became night, and night became day. Sometimes having a 24-hour sunlight, and then experiencing a 36-hour moonlight. It came to a point that human race aren’t able to adjust to the duration of a day, and there were people who live in real-time on which they follow the morning, afternoon, and evening rule of life. These people came in sleepless, awake for 72-hours when the prolonging of time became worse. For some reason, Julia and her family thought that it there’s a speculation that people living in real-time aren’t meant to be in the world, and somehow, someone’s doing something to annihilate their existence. It happened to Julia, an age of miracles: a boy she crushes on, her mother getting sick because of the major changes in humans lives, and her father having an unknown mistress. Everything changed . . .

If I could spoil everything, I will, but I couldn’t, no authorization, no permission. I apologize if I get some points wrong since it’s been a long time since I got to read the book, and some parts of the story is a little blur to me right now. What I wanted for you to do is to read it yourself, and get lost on the Age of Miracles.

“But the past is long, and the future is short.”

The quote is probably the best one I’ve read in the novel. I love how it’s so short, yet it affected me. Most of us live in the past, and never try to think about our future, and I think even if we humans deny this, we should at least admit to ourselves that some of us always look back on the happenings on the past, we live too much of ourselves in on the yesterday that could never be back, and I surrender myself that I admit that up until now, I’m living some parts of myself, thinking that I could bring back some of the happenings from my bygone.

Hands down to Ms. Karen Thompson Walker. The novel does not deserve to be worth a hundred and forty-nine Philippine pesos. It affected me on the way I view life as a whole that things can change in a flash. No one can change what’s next, and no one could ever transmute the previous. Especially, the author thought us--the readers--of what fear can teach to us.

Thanks to this book, it will be probably the best one in my lifetime. As an aspiring novelist myself, a work like this should be rewarded. We shouldn’t look on the way the author composed the words, sentences, dialogues, and paragraphs as a whole, what we should investigate is the content as a whole.

A book of slight romance, a pinch of horror, but a steady reality that we have yet to recognize.

I thought I was broken, but then I found you.

The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker Published in 2012

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rooseelyy-blog · 8 years

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Ang Mga Pangarap Mo’y Narito Na!

Pangarap, mangarap, nangangarap. Ang sarap nga namang mangarap, ‘di ba? Ito ay isang napakamabisang paraan upang mabigyan natin ang sarili ng kasiyahan. Makapagpundar ng sariling bahay, makabili ng kotse, maging mayaman, makatapos ng pag-aaral, at iba pang mga pangarap na normal na sa isipan ng mga tao. Ang pangangarap na nga lang ang isang bagay sa mundo na walang bayad; ang pangangarap ay libre lamang kahit anong antas natin sa buhay.

Ikaw, marami ka bang pangarap sa buhay? Kahit ano man ‘yan, mapa short-term o long-term man ‘yan, pangarap pa rin ‘yan na nais nating maabot upang mahanap na rin ang kasiyahan sa buhay. Kung tatanungin mo ‘ko ay napakadami kong mga nais maabot sa buhay. Hindi lamang sa mga normal na pangarap na magkaroon ng maayos na buhay, kundi para sundin ang mga kaligayahan ko sa aking mga libangan. Mayroon akong hangarin na maging trabaho, hindi lamang para kumita ng pera, kundi na rin para sa aking kagalakan. Nais kong maging isang tagapag-salita sa radyo dahil ito na ang gusto ko noong bata pa lamang ako, at inspirado sa mga partikular na radio DJ na sina Papa Jack at Chico Loco. Isa pang trabahong nais kong magkaroon ay maging isang dubber ng mga cartoons simula noong nadiskubre ko na may kakayahan akong baguhin sa iba’t-ibang paraan ang aking boses.

Ngunit sa kabila ng mga trabahong gusto kong makamit, ay mayroon akong numero-unong pangarap, ito ay maging isang talamak na manunulat sa mundo. Ngayon pa lang, ay ginagawa ko na ang lahat upang maabot ito, dahil nagsisimula na ‘ko ngayon pa lamang. Patapos na ako sa kauna-unahan kong libro at nagsisimula na ‘kong mag-ipon upang maipalimbag ito. Alam kong napakahirap na maabot ‘to, pero para sa akin, ay wala namang imposible sa taong nangangarap.

Ngayon ay dahil naibahagi ko na ang mga pangarap na gusto kong marating balang araw, ibig kong ibahagi sa’inyo ang kaunting payo upang maabot natin ang mga pangarap sa murang edad kagaya kong napakataas na ng pangarap.

Gawin mo kung anong nakakapagpasaya sa’yo. Kung wala ka pang malalaking pangarap na nais mong maabot sa iyong buhay, ay isa ito sa pwedeng maging basihan upang malaman mo kung ano ang dapat mong maging pagtanda. Isipin. Isipin. Isipin. ‘Wag tayong sumuko, kung ang hilig natin ay kumain--walang biro--ay malay mo, maaari ka palang maging isang chef balang araw. Kung ano ang nagpapasaya sa’yo, iyon ang pangarapin mo at gawin mo sa habang panahon. Sa isa ngang kasabihan, “Find a job that makes you happy and pursues your passion, then you’ll never have to work a day again in your life,” bonus nalang ang kumita ng pera, at kung praktikal naman ang nais nating hanapin ay may relasyon din rito dahil kung masaya ka sa trabaho mo, ginagawa mo ito ng taos-puso, at malay mo, tumaas pa ng tumaas ang pwesto mo dahil sa pagsisikap mo. “Happiness isn’t something someone can deliver. It comes from within.”

Pagsikapin mo ang iyong pag-aaral. Opo, alam kong iniisip mo na ngayon na bakit ko pang kailangan mag-aral kung magaling na ko sa isang bagay, ngunit ang edukasyon pa rin ang pinakamahalagang aspeto upang maabot mo ang iyong pangarap. Malay mo, sa proseso ng iyong pag-aaral ay mahanap mo kung anong nararapat sa’yo, dahil kung tatanungin mo ako, sa paaralan ko mismo nahanap ang pangarap kong maging manunulat balang araw, at hindi tayo nalalayo sa isa’t-isa, kung wala ka pang ideya sa career mo sa hinaharap, ‘wag kang mag-alala, sapagkat ang paaralan ang isa sa magpapaintindi sa’yo kung ano ito. Marami sa ating mga estudyante ang kinatatamaran ang pag-aaral, ngunit kapag mayroon tayong nais gawin sa buhay, mas gaganahan tayo sa pag-aaral. ‘Wag kang mag-alala kaibigan, hindi kukunin ng edukasyon ang buong buhay natin, Maaring mahaba nga ang isa’t kalahatin dekada ng pag-aaral, ngunit ang bawi naman nito ay isang benepisyong walang sinuman ang makapapantay. “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” ---Nelson Mandela

Pagsisikap. Pagsisikap na siguro ang pinakamahalaga at pinakamabisang paraan upang makamit natin ang mga pinapangarap nating mga hangarin sa ating buhay. Makapagpundar ng bahay? Magkaroon ng kotse? Dumami ang pera? Magkaroon ng magandang trabaho? Pag-ibig na walang hanggan? At mahanap ang kapayapaan ng kasiyahan? Lahat ng iyan ay maaaring makamit kung magkakaroon tayo ng pagsisikap, dahil kung wala tayo noon at piliin natin ang katamaran, wala tayong mararating; kailan ka nakakita ng isang indibidwal na matagumpay na tamad? Kung gagamitan natin ng pagsisikap o kasipagan sa buhay. Kung may pangarap tayo, tiyak iyan, may hangarin tayo magsikap upang maabot ito. Wala na ‘kong iba pang sasabihin, dahil alam naman natin lahat kung ano ang kahalagahan ng pagsisikap sa pagiging maunlad sa buhay. “Always deliver more than expected.” Patunayan mo sa sarili at sa iba na kaya mo pang higitan ang iyong limitasyon.

Tatlo lamang ito sa napakaraming maari nating gawin upang malaman at maabot natin ang mga pangarap, isinalaysay ko lamang ang para sa’kin, ay ang mga pinakamabisang paraan upang maging katotohanan ito sa kinabukasan.

“Life is a constant quest for happiness.” Isa ito sa mga kasabihan pinanghahawakan ko sa buhay at mga pangarap ang isa sa pinakamabisang gawin upang maging masaya tayo sa ating buhay. Gawin mo kung ano ang nakakapagpasaya sa’yo, mag-aral mabuti, at magsikap sa lahat ng oras upang ang mga nais nating gawin sa buhay balang araw ay maging posible, at malay mo? Balang araw ay masasabi mo na sa sarili mo habang nakasuot ng amerikana, at nag-aayos ng kurbata, “Sa wakas, naabot ko na.”

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