sandygorange - Tumblr blog

[sandygorange]

life recents.

it’s official next summer i’m gonna go on my first trip if ykwim, will i be active on this account then? who knows

[sandygorange]

when i’m with you, i miss you. i memorize the way your eyes light up and the way the laugh. when i’m with you, i’m thinking of the next time that i’ll see you.

- sandygorange

[sandygorange]

i’m out, there’s nothing here to care about 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽

- Mads 🌞

[sandygorange]

some of y’all need to heal real bad..

- Mads 🌞

[sandygorange]

Repeat to yourself that they're not really gone

Time has proven that fooling yourself into believing a lie is the most effective way to deal with things you have no control over

Keep listening to the mixtapes they made you

Overanalyze every single word you hear

"Was this a sign that things were going wrong?"

No, no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them

Stay up every single night staring at your phone

Either attempting to gather up the courage to turn these demons, these constant reminders of your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream

Or praying just for one second you could feel the warmth of equally returned love

Go out for coffee four times a week by yourself

Always bring your notebook, never stop writing

Leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip

Watch them smile as you get in your car

Talk down on yourself whenever possible

"My life is shit because I deserve it, right?"

You must have done something really bad;

It's nearly impossible for you to cry now

Avoid your friends for weeks even though they're the only sense of consistency you have left in your life

If they really wanted to see you they'd come, but they won't

Who cares?

Allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love

Watch as you begin to take a backseat to the world around you, don't fight it

Become a secondary character in your own motion picture

But most importantly drown every single one of your feelings in old stolen rum

Learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat

Find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach

You're drinking bottled love now

You don't need other people to drive away your loneliness

You just needed to find a way to talk to it

- sandygorange

[sandygorange]

the friendship archives.

- sandygorange

[sandygorange]

i need a new dispo 😞

- mads 🌞

[sandygorange]

i miss my nic.

- Mads 🌞

[sandygorange]

the inner child.

that small child you once were with bright eyes and a laugh that could heal the world. they’re not gone, even on the days when it feels like you haven’t seen them in an eternity. in your heart they live on the playground. that playground is filled with all the kids whose names you cannot remember anymore. their laughs are all that can be heard against the soft buzz of sunshine and eternal childlike joy.

- Sandygorange

[sandygorange]

some tunes i like 🌞

- sandygorange

[sandygorange]

pinned post because they’re mandatory.

she/her, poc, 15 yrs old.

i like alex g, frank ocean, the sun, and oranges.

if you ever need to talk to me, my name is Mads.

webweaving makes me happy.

[sandygorange]

i’m sorry mom, i miss you.

- sandygorange

[sandygorange]

i’m floating.

- sandygorange

[sandygorange]

Octavio Paz, ‘Wind From All Compass Points’, A Tale of Two Gardens

[sandygorange]

Cool clear water.

Flows in the canyon at a sunny stretch of Madera Creek.

[sandygorange]

Call Me by Your Name (2017), dir. Luca Guadagnino

[sandygorange]

get out of that rut.

-sandygorange