sense-sans-sensibility

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Hey all, I’m back. Long story short: Stress got a little too high, so any free time I had was filled with ONLY-GOOD-FEELS-NOW-activities or sleep. Tumblr is too unpredictable so I couldn’t manage it for a while. 

In other news: I quit my job without having a backup gig and my mom has pre-cancer. Weirdly, these are things that brought me back here. lol. 

Want a longer story? Sure!:

What finally made me quit? Well. On Thursday last week all employees received an email telling us that we were going for a surprise field-trip on Monday and we should wear close toed shoes. Where were we going? They wouldn’t say, because it’s a “SURPRISE!!! 😆”

... 

I sent an anxious letter to HR telling her I’m concerned that, on such a short notice, participating in an “unknown” activity with no way out (we were taking a private bus and activities were from 8:30am to 6:00pm) was likely to cause me undue stress. The president of the company called me in and would only tell me vague things about it.

And then the next day, that Friday, my supervisor and the HR/Vice President told me that they were moving me out of my isolated room and back into the open office with everyone else. 

My supervisor said he “can’t see why I would be bothered any more by things up front than I would be in the back office.” (.... ._.) and when I tried to explain, HR said, obviously frustrated: 

“It’s like you're are getting worse!” ... 

I then tried to explain how the accommodations and my new strategies might LOOK that way but I will burn out less and be more efficient once I’ve figured it out. She interrupted me, though, and said: 

“I think you’re looking into that [autism] stuff too much. It seems to be affecting you.”

... 

It was time to go much sooner than that moment, but finally things were untenable.

I packed up all of my stuff, sent them an email Monday morning that I was not going to attend their outing and put in my two weeks. They told me not to bother coming back.

So.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Honestly, it’s for the best. I’m complaining pretty hard here, but they were too small of a company and didn’t have enough resources or understanding to accommodate, even though they did try (at least for a while.) 

The attitude at the end was a little surprising, though.

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Hi!! I'm not autistic but I'm soon going to begin working with autistic children and teens (me being a teen myself: 17 y/o) and I was wondering if you'd have any tips? Things I shouldn't do? Ways I should act or ways in which I could help? Things that I should understand about ASD (like, if they don't want to make I contact i shouldn't force them or feel insulted)? Thanks a lot in advance!

Hi! Thank you thank you thank you for asking!! 💕😁

Here are just a few pointers you can use:

Be attentive. Many of the kids will have alternative communication styles which will be easy to understand once you’ve picked up on their patterns. I.E. fidgeting may mean they are uncomfortable or bored and its time to change something about their environment/activities. Or one may do little things for you to say they like you instead of saying it in words.This can manifest in myriad ways and can be unique to each individual. You’ll have to observe and keep an open mind. 

Ask for permission before you touch anyone. This is not only good manners, it’s good teaching, and you’ll avoid making a touch sensitive person uncomfortable!

Be aware of the environment. If the behavior of an autistic person is confusing you it may be because something you can’t sense is bothering them. 

Even if an autistic person is not responding to you, it does not mean they can’t hear you/understand you, it doesn’t mean they aren’t enjoying themselves, and it does not mean they aren’t trying to continue the conversation in their own way. ^^ Again, be attentive to their behavior.

The adults around you are not necessarily the one true authority on autism. If it looks like a kid or teen is uncomfortable or scared by the way someone is treating them, its not okay for that treatment to continue just because the adult says “they don’t know better” or “its the best way to treat them”. Autistic people are fully aware of what is happening around them even if it doesn’t look like it. If you see an adult abusing a child or teen, AND IF YOU FEEL SAFE DOING SO, you should say something. You can report them if the situation is out of hand. (Yes, it’s sad that I need to mention this, but it is a real problem you may encounter.)

On a related note: if there are any enforced rules or treatments in your program that seems to make any kid/teen uncomfortable, you’re welcome to ask any of us online for a second opinion. For example, things like self-harm (banging their head on something or scratching themselves) or harming others is behavior that definitely needs to be redirected but there’s not much else that needs changing about an autistic person’s behavior.

I’m going to open this to other autists because I’m certainly not the end-all-be-all. Anyone else have any ideas?

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Hi I'm new to Tumblr and I was just looking through your blog to better understand my friend and help her feel comfortable. I don't know what 'A$' means? Is this a slang word that I haven't seen before? Or something else? Sorry if it's really obvious, and thanks!

Welcome to Tumblr! A$ is a satirical way of referring to Autism Speaks. The autistic community at large holds Autism Speaks in high contempt for their pandering to vulnerable populations and fear mongering in the pursuit of profiteering, but mostly for their blatant refusal to listen to us, actually help us, and for actively harming us in this pursuit. There is a lot of autistic written literature on this topic. You’re sure to find it if you look specifically for stuff written by autistic people. Hot tip!! Searching the tag “actually autistic” is a great way to find our voices. ^_^ Thank you for taking the time to help your friend. We all hope to meet people like you and I hope your actions will inspire others to do the same.

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Hi there, may I ask how often (approximately) you go nonverbal? I’m autistic and go nonverbal every now and then, usually when I’m anxious or overwhelmed, but it really only happens a handful of times a month. Is this an “average” rate for selectively mute people? And if not, do you know if there’s something else than selectively mute i could call myself?

Hi! 

Hm. My non-verbal periods are almost completely related to how often I get stressed out or get overstimulated. This means when life is going really well, I don’t have non-verbal times. If I stop paying attention to my stress levels or taking precautions I will have a lot more non-verbal times. There is no “average” rate and you do not even have to be neurodiverse to be selectively mute nor do you have to have selective mutism or be non-verbal to be neruodiverse. It is just a word for a normal human experience. ND people simply share a tendency toward having it at a higher rate than groups of NT peopleI didn’t recognize my non-verbal times as selective mutism until less than a year ago. I see no problem with you identifying as selectively mute :)

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Haha! Masking solidarity. 🙌 I had the same experience. 15 mins into my first meeting with a therapist and I can see her struggling with how to bring up autism to me. XD

I would add to all this, that the online community may trick us into thinking that autism is better understood today than it actually is. But the truth is that the online community is the cutting edge of autism understanding. The things we talk about as solid fact are actually, relatively speaking, brand new ideas that have yet to be qualified by science. It's a wild beautiful mess of connecting, sharing and lots of self dxing.

There is sadly, no one place for a professional, who must rely on documented evidence and scientific method, to go to learn all of our revelations. (This is why I'm angry at the setbacks we've faced in the world of research.)

Everyday I find something new about myself that has been autistic all along. It's possible you have problems in social and developmental stuff that was missed, minimized, or misinterpreted because your parents are only human. There is not only one way of interpereting behaviour. Or its possibly you dont have any of those problems and you still qualify because of everything you DO identify with.

Also, I believe strongly that a person does not need to be suffering to have autistic aspect. There are so many things that bring us through life and some people get just the right combo of autism specs and the right accomodations at the right time in the right places due to privilege or even purely by accident.

i'm in a bit of a pickle right now. i've been identifying as autistic for a couple years now, after recognizing myself in a lot of writing by autistic folks and descriptions of symptoms. i finally got the opportunity to get tested recently, but my results came back without an asd diagnosis. the report said i exhibited stimming, special interests, strict routines, and sensory symptoms, but i was not socially restricted and i didn't mention developmental delays. (1/2)

okay, someone PLEASE correct me if i’m wrong here, but it sounds like you could fit the criteria for PDD-NOS which stands for Pervasive Developmental Disorder not otherwise specified. this is one of the several disorders categorized as an autism spectrum disorder. it basically means you fit most of the symptoms of autism, but are missing one or two of the necessary criteria (like social deficits or developmental delays).

if this is the case, then your results would be correct in that you don’t have autism (as in, full-on Autistic Disorder or whatever it’s called in the newest DSM), but you wouldn’t necessarily be wrong in identifying as autistic. since PDD-NOS is part of the spectrum, it’s still technically correct to say you’re autistic.

I haven’t heard of the IQ thing - I guess my assumption was that the reason really smart people tend to have autistic traits was because they slipped under the radar due to their intelligence and just never got diagnosed. but perhaps simply having a higher IQ can cause similar symptoms without being a full-blown disorder? not sure honestly.

obviously I’m not a professional and I know very little about the diagnosis process (seeing as I haven’t even had the official testing done myself) but I would say that you can still identify as autistic, and if you feel strongly about it, you might want to seek out a second opinion and ask specially about PDD-NOS based on the results you’ve already gotten.

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Results rely heavily on the people interpreting your criteria. I was advised by my therapist not to bother seeking a diagnosis in my area because I would likely not get a positive result and I'll be wasting my time. This is not necessarily because I'm not autistic but because many people who are considered autism specialists are still persevering under misconceptions.

Simply said, autism data is too new and too few. And research has largely excluded the autistic voice and interpretation. Autism is still in tip of the iceberg stage.

Dont worry. If you identify strongly with what autistic people are saying, that is valid.

i'm in a bit of a pickle right now. i've been identifying as autistic for a couple years now, after recognizing myself in a lot of writing by autistic folks and descriptions of symptoms. i finally got the opportunity to get tested recently, but my results came back without an asd diagnosis. the report said i exhibited stimming, special interests, strict routines, and sensory symptoms, but i was not socially restricted and i didn't mention developmental delays. (1/2)

okay, someone PLEASE correct me if i’m wrong here, but it sounds like you could fit the criteria for PDD-NOS which stands for Pervasive Developmental Disorder not otherwise specified. this is one of the several disorders categorized as an autism spectrum disorder. it basically means you fit most of the symptoms of autism, but are missing one or two of the necessary criteria (like social deficits or developmental delays).

if this is the case, then your results would be correct in that you don’t have autism (as in, full-on Autistic Disorder or whatever it’s called in the newest DSM), but you wouldn’t necessarily be wrong in identifying as autistic. since PDD-NOS is part of the spectrum, it’s still technically correct to say you’re autistic.

I haven’t heard of the IQ thing - I guess my assumption was that the reason really smart people tend to have autistic traits was because they slipped under the radar due to their intelligence and just never got diagnosed. but perhaps simply having a higher IQ can cause similar symptoms without being a full-blown disorder? not sure honestly.

obviously I’m not a professional and I know very little about the diagnosis process (seeing as I haven’t even had the official testing done myself) but I would say that you can still identify as autistic, and if you feel strongly about it, you might want to seek out a second opinion and ask specially about PDD-NOS based on the results you’ve already gotten.

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Point taken! Out of interest’s sake I will look around for more perspectives. 

Thank you for your addition! ✌

I mean when youre nonverbal arent you just too lazy to talk?

no

me being nonverbal is me being physically unable to use my mouth to make words. it feels like a wall between my brain and my mouth. many other usually verbal people who go nonverbal are also physically unable to speak when that happens

its not a choice. its not being lazy. its not being rude

its that you are unable to make words work

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Seconded very hard. My dash has been rather stressful with all kinds of global news and I've been under the weather so I'm bit avoidy right now. No matter what, even despite my logic brain telling me it's just hyperbole, phrases like "if you scroll past this blah blah you're a horrible person." will wreck me. Words like this can actually have an adverse effect and prevent meaningful action in someone who has anxiety.

Please know that your safety and health matters too, no matter what some stranger on the internet says. Or even friends. Real friends understand and respect your limits and boundaries. Take care of yourself first, then you'll be in a better condition to help others.

Respectfully, a PSA.

screw those posts that say things like

“do NOT scroll past this!”

“if you don’t reblog this you don’t have a heart!!”

I hate these kinds of posts, they’re so stress-inducing. some of us have severe anxiety and/or hyper empathy and feel physically sick when we’re reminded of all the shitty things going on in the world that we can’t do anything about. so please don’t make it worse by telling me I don’t care about those things by not reblogging a post about it.

like, I just saw a post about the Amazon fires and started sobbing after seeing pictures of all the animals. I’m sorry, but I really don’t want to see that post again, it was stressful and it took a lot out of me and put me in a bad mood. I’m not reblogging something that stresses me out that much.

yes they’re important issues. yes the information should be spread. reblog if you can/want to. but if not, don’t feel bad. and don’t shame others for not spreading the info or not constantly talking about it. we probably care way more than you think and it’s just a lot to handle on top of our regular life stress.

[sense-sans-sensibility]

...

Ok remember how I said kimono aren’t being appropriated?

Well... I guess someone went and proved me wrong. This is how it is done. This is how you appropriate something really meaningful that anyone should be able to enjoy. 

smh

how the fuxk

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Hm. I would ask her to explain what she means by that.

Cause honestly I have no idea just from this. I would need to understand what she thinks autism actually is to respond to her.

Whenever I being up me being autistic my stepmom will minimize it by saying "well everyone is a little autistic" which, isn't true at all. Ive just ignored her when she's said it, but idk if I should continue ignoring it. What should I do????

next time she says it you should say something like

“well, if you mean everyone has autistic traits, sure. but that’s because autistic traits are, at their core, regular human traits that people experience from time to time. except the difference is they experience it from time to time. I experience it 24/7. and I experience it much stronger, and it’s not just that one trait that you relate to either - it’s multiple traits that affect every area of my life. that’s why I’m autistic and they’re not.”

if everyone was a little autistic, the world would be much better suited for us wouldn’t it? if we were all a little autistic, no one would stare when you stim in public, no one would question why you didn’t get the joke, no one would wonder why you’re so picky about the way you do things. busy public places wouldn’t be sensory hell because who would go to things if they always felt overwhelmed? the list goes on and on here - the world is not suited for autistic people, and that’s a pretty clear sign that everybody is NOT a little autistic, or we’d all be having a much easier time.

[sense-sans-sensibility]

I cant say for sure, but I can tell you this:

I’ve tried three SSRIs and one SNRI. The first one I ever tried was Atomoxetine (Strattera). It was the most wonderful thing ever in the whole world. It is the only non-stimulant medication for ADHD and the first few weeks after it started kicking in were so amazing. I woke up in the morning… and I got out of bed? And I was actually awake? And I could function WEIRDLY WELL. And… well. The effectiveness petered out pretty quickly. I had no side effects except having to eat it on a full stomach. The pharmacist said I could take it with or without but I threw up 10 minutes after taking without food once and learned my lesson, lol. (That may have been the pharmacist’s mistake though?) Escitalopram (Lexapro) - Worked GREAT for depression symptoms. Absolutely destroyed my acid reflux’s inhibitions. I didn’t even know I had acid reflux until I took this medication. (I have really bad interoception.) One night I had a GERD + Panic Attack combo that made me go from deep sleep to “I think I’m going to actually die” in less than 2 minutes. I had a deep dish pizza that night. escitalopram has no warnings or indications that it affects acid levels in the stomach. My doctor was baffled.

Switched to Fluoxetine(prozac) made a follow up appointment less than 2 weeks after I started where both my doctor and I both agreed to stop it immediately. (in case you’re wondering. you’re supposed to give these at least 4 to 5 weeks for full effect and wean off of them. My reaction was bad enough we didn’t do either.) Basically I started having manic episodes and uncomfortably high levels of irritation. 

Then came Sertraline(Zoloft). And now I’m pretty peachy! I had a few increased doses and I’ve been fine for a couple years so far. 

Note: reuptake inhibitors will make your brain FEEL WEIRD in the beginning. Usually this DOES go away within 2 weeks. This can include dizziness and feeling like something’s crawling around up in there (in my experience, anyway, lol) As autistics we are more likely to feel weirdness, too.

If the weird adjustment period does not go away, yes, you should talk about maybe going to a different one. You know your body best.

If you EVER start having weird mental stuff though. like Irritation or manic/depressive episodes that were not there before, you gonna need to change that. Call your doctor immediately. Even if it were going to go away, it’s not worth the risk.

My acid reflux is still somewhat out of control even after 3 years without the escitalopram, though it has settled. Its also possible I’m just finally aware of it now that I’ve experienced such exreme symptoms. 

Are there any other autistic people who have experienced really bad side effects from antidepressants? I’m on my 4th, 2 SSRIs and 2 other kinds, and with all of them I’ve had really severe dizziness. I can’t find anything online but I was wondering if this might be related to me being autistic. Thanks!

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Wow! You're a Leo too?? Nice! >:) My bday was 7/30.

Happy Birthday!! 💐🎉 I will celebrate this, the hottest, muggiest day of the year just for you, lol.

it’s my birthday!!! 🎂🎁🎈

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Fyi, folks. ✌💕

Have a good night/day, y'all.

You will never ever annoy me if you

Send me random anons

reply to my posts

send me an ask

reblog me

talk to me

say hello

give me random love

“bother” me

So please stop thinking otherwise.

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Autism Speaks is not interested in changing their ways. Even if they hide behind a better looking facade, their cruel intentions are poorly hidden under the rug and shoved into cluttered, skeleton-filled closets.

Here’s a link to the petition asking Sesame Street to stop partnering with A$:

https://www.change.org/p/sesame-workshop-sesame-street-stop-partnering-with-autism-speaks

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Seconded. I am hyper verbal when I am comfortable. As a child, whenever I got anxious (got in trouble for something, social task is too difficult, ran out of spoons,) I had no words. It's hard to explain. It's like the connection I normally have to my ridiculous vocabulary disappears. Vocals are entirely cut off. I would simply stare, or shrug until the cause goes away, no matter how insistent. Or I would walk away if possible. Adults would huff in frustration and give up. Other children would get mean or bored. Then I would retreat into something very comfortable for a long time before I could talk again.

It's not much different now. I have a bit more stamina and strategies to keep myself out of trouble and stress. Texting is often possible when vocals arent but the words are still short and much more economical than usual.

Nonverbal times are NOT a relaxed state. For me it is one of constant vigilance and need of comfort.

I do not know what it is like for people who are only nonverbal but through my lens, it looks like they have never had a person, place or thing comfortable enough to actually relax around, especially as a child. Which is a bit heart wrenching.

This leads me to believe the real difference between "low functioning" and "high functioning" auties is the quality of comfort they have. This would mean "low functioning" auties are more often victims of trauma, and have increased functioning difficulties, just like any trauma victim. This speaks loudly to me about how badly the way A$ does things and the autism mom culture makes everything worse. The likelihood of trauma to autistics skyrockets in their care with no one to truly trust or communicate with.

But I do not know how it really is for fully nonverbal people. There are probably other factors to consider.

I would love to hear from any nonverbals out there about this theory.

I mean when youre nonverbal arent you just too lazy to talk?

no

me being nonverbal is me being physically unable to use my mouth to make words. it feels like a wall between my brain and my mouth. many other usually verbal people who go nonverbal are also physically unable to speak when that happens

its not a choice. its not being lazy. its not being rude

its that you are unable to make words work

[sense-sans-sensibility]

I am most definitely worm on a string. 

i made my own stim toy-themed tag yourself!! i’m sparkle

[sense-sans-sensibility]

Being autistic in this world is like being a freshwater fish forced to live in saltwater and expected to adapt, then called defective because we cannot.  A saltwater fish wouldn’t do any better in freshwater, but since an autistic-based society doesn’t exist that will never be understood.

Society refuses to adapt to us (which would actually not be that hard at all) and then wonders why we have so many problems.   What you think autism is (meltdowns, unresponsive, etc) is actually just how we respond to multiple stressors.  We are more sensitive to everything so of course we’re going to respond to things more strongly.  You understand that your pets don’t like loud noises because they have sensitive ears but you won’t extend the same understanding to us.

We need understanding and patience.  We need our needs to be considered as important as anybody else’s.  Our needs are not special, just different.  Your needs are automatically met by society so you don’t notice them, but our needs are not so they are noticed.

We don’t like to be touched because it’s uncomfortable, can hurt and drains our energy to be able to more important stuff.  So just don’t force handshakes or hugs.  Keep a respectful distance.

We usually can’t handle loud noises because of our sensitive hearing.  It gives us a headache, makes our ears hurt and drains our energy.  So just keep the music down; your ears will thank you later anyway.  And don’t talk so loud either.  There are restaurants I can’t go to because of the loud music and people (usually sports bars) so my family can’t go either unless they leave me home or drop me off elsewhere.

We usually can’t handle strong smells either because of our sensitive sense of smell.  It makes it hard to breathe, makes some of us nauseous.  So just tone down the perfume a little.  Don’t smoke around others either (that’s rude even if not around autistics; some people have asthma).

Bright, flashing lights can also be a problem even for those without epilepsy (tho some of us can have it too).

We have a sensitive sense of taste too.  Food that’s bland to you has flavor to us and food that’s just right to you is too spicy/spiced to us.  Plus texture is very important to us.  Food with bad texture can make us gag.  Don’t force us to eat things we don’t like as it will drain our energy too.

I know it’s hard to understand things you don’t experience, but have you ever had a headache?  A migraine?  Do you remember being sensitive to light, sound, touch, smell, etc?  Imagine that but all the time and our energy levels correspond to just how sensitive we are.  So if the above things keep sapping our energy, we will have very little to cope with anything else that happens.

That’s when meltdowns happen.  They aren’t tantrums and they aren’t something we can control.  Imagine if you’ve been overusing your computer, using up lots of memory, running too many big programs, too many tabs open and you’re not giving it a break.  Eventually, it will wig out, it will crash.  You can’t blame the computer.  It did all it could.  You asked too much of it.

Then there’s stimming.  We need to do it.  It helps us regain lost energy, helps us feel better.  Like when you go to the spa or get a massage.  It’s like a massage for the brain.  So let us stim.   It’s not hurting you.

These are all simple things that cost zero dollars to do but most people won’t do them.  They insist we act like them but we cannot because we’re not like them and they couldn’t act like us either.  You wouldn’t expect a cat to act like a dog or vice versa, so don’t expect us to act like something we are not.