shattered-lullabies - Tumblr blog

[shattered-lullabies]

"it's ok" "it's fine"

NOW IT REALLY SOUNDS LIKE IT'S NOT??? YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT AND EXPECT ME TO THINK EVERYTHINGS OK???

bpd culture is why can't you understand that saying two words after i apologize is gonna make me feel worse and i hate you and i hate you i can't do this anymore you hate me so much you wish i was dead i'm so sorry i'm sorry

-🎀📖

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[shattered-lullabies]

bpd culture is IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY PLEASE DONT BE MAD IM SORRYIMSORRYIMSORRY

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[shattered-lullabies]

the urge to just not exist

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i hate that BPD gives me such a lack of emotional permanence.

you can spend hours describing the ways in which you care about me, yet the moment you stop my brain will immediately decide you hate me and are destined to leave me.

[shattered-lullabies]

i will forever be a burden to anyone or anything i come into contact with

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“i love you” until i’m sobbing because your tone slightly changed

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bpd culture is why am i like this?????? why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why a m i like thsi why am i like this why am i like this why am il ike this why an i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like thtos why am i like this whhy an i like this why am i like this why am i like this why an i like this why am i like this why am i like tiis why am i like this why am i liem thsi why an i like this why am i like this why am il ike this why am i like this why am i likw this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i liek this why am i like this why ak i like this why am i like this why am i like this

[shattered-lullabies]

[shattered-lullabies]

Tw: starvation mention, vomit mention

I feel so sick

I hate this.

It feels like my stomach is completely hollowed out and occasionally being stabbed

I don't wanna throw up bc if I do itll either be dry gagging or my own stomach acid, I hate it.

But we have no money for food so there's nothing I can do about it and I wanna cry

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I think it'd be neat if during discussions about schizophrenia and psychosis more people made a point to mention how psychotic episodes themselves can be deeply traumatizing. because they sure can. experiencing a break from reality like that is traumatizing. delusions, even though they aren't real, are traumatizing. believing you're being prosecuted by God himself and not knowing how to cope with that just to later realize none of it was real is probably traumatizing. experiencing frightening hallucinations can be traumatizing. people talk about how psychotics suffer from their disorder but let's talk about why we do. and I haven't even mentioned the inherent trauma of living with a stigmatized disorder in a world where psychotics are despised and shunned and kicked out of homes. lets not forget that one.

[shattered-lullabies]

He hates me he hates me he hates me he has to be mad at me now I'm always doing smth wrong I'm so fucking annoying

[shattered-lullabies]

This is sadly how some of our littles feel, the body's so much bigger then them, it's so much different then it was before :(

So much more than "I feel like I'm someone else" , DID is so often "I feel like I'm in someone else's life". Like, this is not my house, these are not my clothes, that is not my cat, you are not my friends, but I've got to carry on anyway as though they're all mine and just hope that no-one notices that I'm walking in someone else's skin

[shattered-lullabies]

suspected bpd culture is looking at your partner and wondering if they're just putting up with you. wondering if they're just tolerating your existence. wondering if they have high expectations for you. wondering if you can meet their expectations. wondering if they have nothing but pity for you. wondering on if their love for you will tire out eventually. wondering if their love for you was just mistaken on their part. wondering about them and you as a whole.

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[shattered-lullabies]

I hate this, I hate being blurry, I hate not knowing who I am

I feel so confused about my identity right now

I hate this.

[shattered-lullabies]

Gonna cry /pos

I've been given a chance to fix my relationship with my brother, I'm gonna do everything I can to fix it. I want my little brother back.