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This guy...Full of surprises

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we needed this

waiter!!! waiter!!! more j-fashion chase please!!!

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let me be that horse

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writing is so funny because i could write nonstop for 9hrs and then hit a block where im like "how do i transition between this moment and the next?" and then i just dont touch it for 6 months

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aro deacon hc'ers are winning this chapter (me)

choosing the horse over two beautiful women is very aro behavior I think

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screaming

Delulu is the solulu

I wanted to draw a « what if » Stargoth was official and lovey dovey AND Nox was there to see Chase in his wonderful outfit (it suit him so well it’s literally perfect.)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/65399284/chapters/171426373

chapter 5 of my carmilla fanfic is out! i've changed the name but i finally finished it, took me forever

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god i love this fandom

Mixed my two favourite things lol, the symbolism is crazy

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oh yes.

They have a hold on me that possessed me to sit for seven hours and do this

Ref by hel1okne

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to add on to this:

i totally agree because i've thought of this too! nox is def just his key name, not his real name.

that also poses the question: does he even have a name at all? is his previous identity before working for ex libris and even being a key at all there still?

like would he still have people looking for him, is he an orphan, etc.

I wonder if Nox even is his name. Like, it makes sense that Nox is Buddy’s real name because it’s clear he has memory of being human, and his story as we’ve observed from the plot thus far indicates that he has memories from when he was human. So it’s to be assumed that, even if Violet never knew him when he was human, he could’ve still introduced himself to her with his real, human name.

BUT we also know that all the keys are named based on their coloration (Silver, Violet, Bronze, Goldie). What if Nox is just Buddy’s key name? It’s not impossible that, in turning Buddy into a key—altering the biological structure of his physical existence—whoever did so could have also had the power to alter his memory as well, wholly stripping him of his identity beyond being a pawn of Ex Libris.

Thus he remembers being human and what he experienced under Ex Libris, but he doesn’t remember who he was beyond that. What was his name? Did he live in a house? Did he have parents? Siblings? What about friends? He likes chocolate, maybe he liked chocolate before he was…brought into Ex Libris. Did he have a middle name? A last name?

Who even is Nox?

He’d probably have so many questions about himself, about his life. But all he remembers, all he knows, is trauma. That seems like a pretty darn good motivator for working in secret to become human again, without trust for other humans.

And so, circling back to my original question, what if Nox is simply his key name?

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OUGHH THIS IS EVERYTHING THE SHADING THE EXPRESSIONSSSS

some whiteboard and magma doodles

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just started watching epic the musical per my friend's begging and it's growing on me big time...

why are Odysseus and Athena literally just Nox and Violet? i'm a fast passer, but I swear this isn't a spoiler of some sort. you can assume what i mean by that later on, though.

LIKE LOOK AT THEM AND THEN LOOK AT NOX AND VIOLET. please tell me someone else sees it too

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why are shitposts so funny im seriously eating this up

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i can't donate but i'm reblogging, ty for ur amazing work inco <3

Hello....... I made a Ko-Fi

5 minutes ago Inco was way better at explaining it than me:

SO ESSENTIALLY I need to. Pay for college. Because it will be very beneficial to support future projects I want to do (Webtoons, graphic novels, published books).

So yeah 👍😭 I'm really anxious about this but I'll leave it pinned on my profile and huge thank you to anyone who decides to donate

Reblogs are greatly appreciated! 🫶

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Chapter 4 of my Carmilla x CB fic is here! Took me so much longer than I expected, oof.

Of Ill Fate and Secrecy

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yapped to my friend about cinderella boy and why they should read it and they said "well yeah but why are buddy's eyes like staring into your SOUL get this man some contacts" and i was like "i dunno stylistic choice? i swear it changes later on"

btw they're super immersed into the story because according to them they'd really like it (and i told them about how many CB fans like epic and CRK so they're convinced our fandom must be amazing, which it so is)

and i talked a little about the keys and their character traits like before this (and about buddy not trusting people etc. etc) and then they said "what if buddy's just a key" and i brushed it off SO WELL because i didn't want them to guess it right away....

anyway this just proves to the "buddy is a key theorists" from s1 that it really WAS that obvious and that i just brushed past the fact nox's eyes are quite literally staring into your soul somehow?? help??

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i love this YES

Cinderella Boy Character Analysis

Buddy: The psychology of being a scapegoat (1/4)

Y’all. I wrote this character analysis wayyy back in December, days before the season 1 finale aired. Then because of the last line and the excerpt used, I decided to not post it because I was worried about non-fastpassers seeing the line and having the finale spoiled for them. So here we are 6 months later, and I am suddenly remembering that I had this in the notes app and decided to post it LMAO!!!!! I did add some slight changes to some of the wording because we have been knowing Buddy is a key now, but just know that a majority of these points were made before we knew he was a key. 

This is going to be a four part post about the psychology of Buddy, Chase, Buddy/Chase being different sides of the same coin, and then Deacon. 

Now let us begin with by far my most favorite character: Buddy. 

I personally believe Buddy to be a scapegoat. For those who are unfamiliar with scapegoats, it is often an individual, or group of people, within a dysfunctional environment who are unfairly blamed for any wrongdoings wether they are to be truly at fault or not. 

Dysfunctional families will have a scapegoat child in order to deflect any of the internal/external issues at hand and presume that the conflict is due to the scapegoat. Many scapegoated children tend to have many of their physical, emotional, and mental needs neglected due to the blame they are forced to carry. With this comes unique personality characteristics that can be seen in scapegoated children. I am going to go over some of these personality traits with Buddy and share why within the Ex-Libris ranks he is a consistently considered the scapegoat. We can also assume, that this has to do with him being the villain key and that by him being the villain key, it has allowed him to take on a scapegoated role. 

Character Trait #1: Trust issues

Scapegoats tend to have trust issues. Due to everyone around them assuming they are a consistent problem, they feel as if they cannot trust others with their vulnerabilities in fear it will be used against them. 

In episode 32 we see Buddy tell Chase “My life usually depends on not trusting them. So you’re absolutely right.” The reasoning as to why is because he has been unfairly placed in a scapegoated position. He believes that his life quite literally depends on not trusting others, and considering he is a key, then yes, his life very well depend on not trusting others. 

Character Trait #2: Strongly Defensive

Scapegoated children often are the only ones to ‘fend’ for themselves. When everyone points a finger at them, there is no one left to defend the scapegoat but themselves. Because of this Scapegoats are very, very defensive, believing even well intentioned constructive criticism is an attack. 

In episode 31 we see Buddy immediately get defensive with Chase. While they are fighting Buddy states, “You smug brat. As if you didn’t try to weasel your location out of me? You’re just as self serving! You’re not better than me!…You think you’re some kind of hero? You’re only here for one thing: narratonin....Don’t ever say that! You arrogant, self absorbed-childish little brat!” When called out for tricking Chase, Buddy immediately becomes verbally/physically defensive. (He’s also projecting but that is a whole different post.) Even though we all know Buddy was in the wrong, he chose to become defensive rather than calmly listen to what Chase was saying. 

We see this again in episode 53 when Deacon makes a jab at Buddy’s “baby teeth” Buddy immediately starts to say that “my teeth aren’t baby.” Rather than letting the statement go and realizing Deacon is making a half-hearted joke, Buddy starts to say that he would bite Deacon. Buddy can’t let even a small baby joke go without getting defending himself or attempting to prove that ‘no my teeth aren’t baby.’ 

Character Trait #3: Tend to speak the truth/point out lies

@Jthealien already made that the most amazing post about Buddy and his tendency to speak the truth, so please go check it out here 

I will add to this by saying that scapegoats are often scapegoats because they tell the truth. A dysfunctional environment/family can only remain dysfunctional if it remains unlit (aka lies only). Scapegoats often attempt to shed a light on the issues at hand by speaking out, only to be punished for it. This doesn’t mean they stop speaking out though. They continue to shed a light on the lies, manipulation, and cruel treatment. 

Although Buddy does not share a lot of information about himself or may lie through omissions, he never truly outright lies to Chase. 

Character Trait #4: Perfectionist

Scapegoats tend to have a perfectionist mindset. They believe that if they are ‘perfect’ they may finally be able to gain approval from the dysfunctional family. 

We have seen Buddy place emphasis on completing the books ‘perfectly.’ In episode 4 when Chase tells Buddy he found a shortcut to completing the books Buddy yells, “That’s not a shortcut! That’s cheating!” In episode  6 he challenges Chase saying he has to do the book with “No cheats, no bookmarks, no shortcuts. We also see Buddy practicing his lines beforehand in episodes 43 and 52. Placing an emphasis that he wishes to complete the books ‘in the correct way’ or ‘perfectly.’ Buddy most likely has this perfectionist mindset because he believes that if he can complete the books perfectly he will be able to gain someone’s approval, complete the book the ‘correct way’, or because he has been taught doing the book any other way is ‘wrong.’ 

Character Trait #5: Struggle to control emotions

Scapegoats tend to struggle to control their emotions for various reasons. When raised in an environment where emotions are constantly running high, scapegoats tend to struggle handling their emotions and react disproportionately to any given situation. 

In episode 25 when we have a flashback to the first time Buddy and Chase met. As Chase was explaining to Buddy that he found a key, and rather than hearing Chase out, Buddy chooses to grab Chase and verbally belittle him. In episodes 20/21 Buddy goes as far to smudge the dirt Deacon had been writing in and then dropping a rock on Deacon’s head. In both instances he had already insulted Deacon, but took things a step further due to him not knowing how to handle his anger/frustration/jealousy. In episode 31 Buddy begins to verbally/physically attack Chase on the island due to Chase simply calling out Buddy’s crude behavior. 

Final Thoughts

With all of these traits being shared, and with the knowledge that Buddy is a key, it is safe to assume that he has been scapegoated within the ex-libris ranks. We are not yet aware of the specifics, but for him to be placed in this role would greatly affect his self esteem, outworld views, and mindset. We see this throughout season 1. As we know, ex-libris is a shady group of people who value themselves first and foremost, it would make sense that as a result by treating the keys lesser than, it would create a scapegoat out of the keys. And if Buddy was once human, who then turned into a key….well what did he do as a human to allow them to turn him into a key? 

My guess is that Buddy was already a scapegoat within the ex-lirbis ranks. I am willing to bet that he found out how horribly himself/others were being treated, spoke against it, and as a result was punished for it by being turned into a key. The villain key no less. 

“The creation of a villain necessarily implies that of a hero, even if both are purely fictional. Sometimes it is the villain, or villains, who are in need of a greater villain. Especially in a time of crisis, unscrupulous leaders and politicians can cynically exploit the ancient and deep-rooted impulse to scapegoat to deflect and distract from their own inadequacies and evade, or seek to evade their legitimate burden of blame and responsibility.” (Excerpt from The Psychology of Scapegoating by Neel Burton.) 

“No. No, I’m not. I’ve never been the hero in any story. Not even my own. But I think, I’d like to be your hero. Just this once.” (Buddy, Episode 61, Cinderella Boy)