sickpeppers

[sickpeppers]

Behind the smile of anxiety

A crowd, a laugh — I shrink inside,

My thoughts a storm I cannot hide.

A thousand eyes that do not see,

Yet every glance falls hard on me.

I wear a mask, I play the part,

But silence knots around my heart.

I speak in whispers, fear the sound,

Of standing out, of being found.

But still I breathe, though shadows stay,

And hope I’ll find a clearer day.

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Przeżywam codzienny lęk, strach przed ludźmi jak i ich spojrzeniem, nie interesuje mnie co o mnie pomyślą, ale czuję tą mrożącą presje którą wywierają na mnie wzrokiem.

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Słowa w gardle, myśli jak mgła,

Tłum nie patrzy — a ja i tak drżę.

~L

[sickpeppers]

the scars that made me

I never cared about being alone, I was alone my whole life.

No one ever stayed long enough to notice when I disappeared.

I got used to being in a room full of people, but never really seen.

Being alone became my comfort.

It became a place where nothing could hurt me because nothing was ever close enough.

I didn't need anyone,

I didn't have to explain myself.

I kept my walls high,

and no one ever had to know what was really going on inside.

It was easier that way.

No one could disappoint me if I didn't let them in.

I never felt empty that I was alone, until you asked me to stay.

[sickpeppers]

I wanna relapse so badly but can’t, had to throw my thing away at the airport :p

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Sitting in my room btw :3