siriusblackwaswhite

[siriusblackwaswhite]

[siriusblackwaswhite]

"If it were always breakfast, I would be fine..."

[siriusblackwaswhite]

"i am tired of being lonely but life is so much more than just loneliness. I hope I learn this soon."

[siriusblackwaswhite]

[siriusblackwaswhite]

"Grief is love's natural continuation."

[siriusblackwaswhite]

"There's hurt in here that cannot be fixed by band-aids and poetries."

- Sarah Kay

[siriusblackwaswhite]

"well, something is dead in me. and i cannot find out what."

[siriusblackwaswhite]

🦋

[siriusblackwaswhite]

Sometimes when I am angry or sad, I want to scream. I want to scream loudly. But there is no voice in me or I have just repressed it somewhere deep down in my soul. I am so helpless when it comes to expressing my anger. All I do is push people away and never speak about it.

- self musing.

[siriusblackwaswhite]

“As far as words go, ‘crying’ is louder and 'weeping’ is wetter. When people explain the difference between the two to English-language learners they say that weeping is more formal, can sound archaic in everyday speech. You can hear this in their past tenses—the plainness of 'cried’, the velvet cloak of 'wept’. I remember arguing once with a teacher who insisted 'dreamt’ was incorrect, dreamed the only proper option. She was wrong, of course, in both philological and moral ways, and ever since I’ve felt a peculiar attachment to the t’s of the past: weep, wept, sleep, slept, leave, left. There’s a finality there, a quiet completion, of which ’d’ has never dreamt.”

— Heather Christle, from The Crying Book

[siriusblackwaswhite]

"You've Got To Believe In The Poetry Because Everything Else In Your Life Will Fail You, Including Yourself."

- Ali

[siriusblackwaswhite]

the theme that always resonates me the most in stories is “the world is cruel; therefore I won’t be.”

[siriusblackwaswhite]

"How do you forget? How do you say goodbye without ripping yourself apart?"

[siriusblackwaswhite]

[siriusblackwaswhite]

i’m not sure i’m capable of being loved right now / i feel safe in my quiet way of living and telling my secrets to thread & paper / i don’t know what i’d say if you asked me to know myself / more

[siriusblackwaswhite]

But am i not just a child? Sure i have grown up to be an adult but sometimes i feel, and i feel, and my heart gets overwhelmed. At night, I just want someone to ask me, "how are you? how was your day?"

I am just a child searching for someone to babble about my happenings- I made coffee for myself but forgot to drink it later, I slipped down the road because I was too careless to notice the puddle, I felt like running around the field even though the wind was too cold, but i didn't because I am shy.

Ask me, someone.

I an tired of sleeping with my phone on do not disturb, just to remind myself that the people I love don't love me anymore and so no one will call me. I am tired of building these walls, i just want to build a doll house again.

I am just a child, after all. An adult maybe, but still a child. Let me pour, let me be vulnerable. I want to cry loudly when something hurts me so that someone, anyone, will run towards me with a band aid. I am tired of cleaning my own wounds.

Oh, I an just a child, naive, vulnerable, practicing to be an adult, and failing and failing and failing. Ask me someone, "how are you? how was your day?"

But my phone is on do not disturb.

- self musing.

[siriusblackwaswhite]

but above all, I hope you forgive your past selves and learn to love yourself now and here.