soulemerging

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Summer Sale on until Aug 15th! Discount on Reiki (30min), Cranial Sacral Therapy (30min) or Acupuncture (45min). All done by an experienced RMT. Book now!

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Reiki

What is Reiki?

Is it possible to explain reiki?  Is it possible to scientifically determine its benefits? There are lots of articles out there to both verify or disprove the effectiveness of Reiki. This post is not a research article,  it is written from the perspective of someone who has given and received Reiki.

Let me go back to a time before I learned Reiki. I was in university having horrible headaches and undergoing a ton of stress. My maternal grandparents both had cancer and they both passed away after lengthy battles with cancer. I was living in a home with roommates who sometimes drove me nuts (some of them were also awesome). It was a time when Oprah started talking about Spirituality. I was already somehow on that path but having her openly discuss it made me feel less alone.

My mom had done mediation and yoga with me as a teenager, we even went to mediums who, I KID you not, said the most astoundingly true things (they had no idea who we were).  These headaches were debilitating, so my mom hired a Reiki therapist to come to my house and perform reiki. I lay down and she moved her hands in a pattern above me. Even though her hands were not always touching my body, I could feel heat emanating from them. When she moved her hands over my face/head I saw the most incredible colours. It was a rainbow swirl of light.  I remember I told her about that, and she said it was pretty incredible that I could see that the first time and feel so much!  I had no idea what to even think!  All I know is the headaches went away and I was able to feel far less stressed.

Fast forward a few years and I decided to study Reiki amongst other healing modalities. It seems I had a natural affinity for feeling energy.  Maybe it’s the empath in me…I can sense what’s going on, with or without people’s actual input. I also studied medical intuition but that’s another post!

I studied Reiki 1, then did reiki 2 about 20 years later (which made my teacher chuckle).  I never felt like I really needed it – I could sense things, feel things, move energy around, etc.  But wanted to see what it was all about.  My teacher made everyone do the hand positions – but she laughed when I would go off script – she always trusted I knew exactly what to do. Reiki level 3 was super interesting.  First off, I had a new teacher, sadly my other teacher had a massive stroke and couldn’t teach.  I learned more about my own ways of doing reiki – turns out I was already doing more advanced reiki than what I had been taught.  Let’s just say I had some intuitive guidance for that.

So what the heck is REIKI? The definition is that it’s Universal Life Force Energy being guided/directed through the body of the practitioner to the client and directed in a healing way to aid the client to heal their own body.  Yada Yada Yada.  

What is it really?  I stand beside you and using all my senses I feel your energy.  I use my hands, which to me feel like little magnets and they stop on the part of the body that needs healing. It literally feels like a metal detector finding a jackpot! Then there’s this weird pumping of energy through my hands. It’s not my energy, is it some Universal like energy, the same energy that exists in plants, trees, animals, the human body etc.  It’s light and happy and its sole purpose is to heal.  Your body gets activated and things start flowing. They often flow from my right hand to my left and back. I move my hands around in no particular order (note, that’s my way, not everyone’s).  I LISTEN to the body.  I hear it with my mind (like telepathy), my own body (kinesthetic empath), and my hands are drawn to what you need.  I sometimes SPEAK to the client about what I feel, I ask intuitive questions about what’s happening in their lives/bodies/past trauma. I Sense it.  I KNOW it.  BUT, I don’t tell them 100% of what needs to happen. That’s not my job. (Well, I strive to have people receive healing of course) My job is to open the client up to what’s really going on in their body. Call it trauma work, body talk, body dialogue, whatever you want. It’s all about what that person needs to heal in that particular moment. Not everything comes up (that would be insanely overwhelming). Every session is Different. Some build on the previous…some don’t. Reiki is kind, gentle and loving energy.  There doesn’t have to be speaking involved, when there is it just moves things more quickly from my point of view.  

With or without words/dialoguing Reiki is a healing session where we move energy off the body/aura system so that the client is free of that pain and quite simply we activate the clients own healing abilities which are sometimes blocked in the body.  We can be moving physical issues, emotional, mental or even connections (with permission).  We CLEAR their energy.

So, what do clients feel? They feel the heat from my hands (some say it feels like I put a heating pad on them), some see colours (how cool is that!!), some feel energy moving like bursts of energy or tingling, some feel pain and we work on that spot more, some feel emotions, some laugh, some cry. There is no right answer for what Reiki is.

I can tell you what it can give you though. It can offer a sense of relaxation.  It can heal old emotional wounds. It can help you let go of people and pain in your life.  It can heal physical complaints (but that’s more complicated than it sounds, and also somewhat simple depending on the issue). It can clear your energy, so you feel more like yourself.  

Please understand that this is MY experience of Reiki.  All practitioners are different, just like all clients are.  If you tried Reiki and it doesn’t make you feel good (or it makes you feel worse) – please find a different therapist and try again. If you love Reiki, spread the word, it’s so profoundly healing to those of us who’ve tried it.

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#on grief

On Grief

Here is something I wrote on grief a little while ago…Please note, I was deep in the process of grief when I wrote this.  There is rawness and reality and rage…. reader beware…. since then, I have processed through a lot of it, and have come out on the other side.  Although sadness remains, acceptance, peace and even joy have regained their well-deserved space in my heart.

On Grief

Today my grief was thick and heavy.  It weighed my down, like winter’s slush on my tires.  I did not want to move, or even get out of bed.  Gratitude tried to call my name - be grateful you are alive, and you have this day.  I did not budge.  Apathy got the best of me. I was not grateful.

I have no cause for this day, for the trivial things and conversation. Nothing compares to my grief. Nothing you say, will ever win me over or spark a light. I am dark and heavy and hollow inside. Like a damp cave that echoes in the night. Wind blows and the cave holds still.  Never shifting.

Sometimes my grief is thin, like Ice.  It cracks easily and feelings fall in like Joy or Pleasure; but I grow cold, and the ice covers it over quickly as if it were never there.  At times it cracks, and I fall into a freezing cold abyss of pain and torture. All the what if’s and why’s. There is no rescue from this, no life vest to save me, I just grow cold and numb until it is over. I wait until I can crawl out of this freezing hole.

Sometimes my grief is like the rain.  Pouring down all over me, and everything else.  I weep into my food, my books, my pillow.  It just flows.  It is unstoppable.  I like this kind of grief as it means I get to feel more.   I am not numb.  I am real. Like the velveteen rabbit.  All my stories flow out of me. It seems alarming to others; it is hard to watch and hear.  It is loud and sobby.  It is not common to grieve so openly, so majestically.  But I like it the best, it is the best kind for me. I wish it would come more like this.  And that others would be ok with it.

Sometimes my grief looks like anger. I want to rage, punch, kill.  I hate everything and everyone. I hate people who are still alive and not the person who has died. It makes no sense at all.  I hate that I hate.  And then I hate how hard my heart has grown.

Sometimes my grief can be skinny.  It loses its appetite.  Food seems unnatural and wrong.  It is meant for more joyful times. It does not even register that I need food.  Why would I eat when all I want to do is die?

My grief is transparent. I hear whispers from my loved ones, telling me their needs, desires, wishes, stories, memories. The veil feels so thin.  I feel crazy. I disconnect from the 3D world.   I live in whispers and shivers and wonderment.

My brain is full of thoughts, my brain is broken, and I cannot make decisions. I want to fix it; to save them, change it, alter the course of history, and yet I know I cannot.  And I cannot make my brain stop this process.  It is on repeat. The what if’s, if only and I wish I had…. drive me to madness.

I distract.  My grief is lonely, hungry, tired, overwhelmed, angry, sleepy, fragile.  My grief is stronger than anyone else’s anything. It is huge.  Everything else is a microchip, a silly trivial problem, a ridiculous request, nothing compares to my grief.

Loss can also bring relief as well.  Perhaps that person you lost was suffering and their suffering is over.  They have gone home.  There is gratitude and release in this grief.

What I find about grief is that once I start talking about it, it seems to open a doorway for others to speak about their own loss.   That is why I write.  That is why I share this vulnerable space.  Everyone will meet Death one day, in some shape or form.  It is not a fun club to a part of, but it a truth and its unavoidable.

It will feel as if someone has ripped your heart right out of your chest.  You are still breathing but you feel hollow, empty, less alive. Colours sometimes seem duller, people are shallow, the world is strange.  And then one day you look out and the grass seems remarkably green. The greenest it has ever been.   Was it always like that?   Are you witnessing something magical?  It simply means the heaviness of grief is lifting and you are rejoining the world. Enjoy it because Grief is a wave energy. It always moves.  Sometimes it is small and gentle, sometimes is a tidal wave.  All you can do is ride it.

Sometimes when we grieve, we are not grieving just the loss of that person.  Sometimes we are grieving the loss of the relationship, sometimes not even our own.  There is a loss beyond the actual person.  I realize that we do not talk about grief in this way.   Maybe we need to …. To expand the conversation of what we are grieving.   Why it hurts so much.  Maybe that was the person you talked to, the person you walked with. That person you lost was a link to some piece of you or your family. Perhaps is it what they allowed you to be, or how they made you feel.  An easy example is the loss of a pet. It hurts so much as they let you be you, so unconditionally, a rarity in this world. We need to talk more about death and grief and what it all means.  

What else can I say?  I have lost a lot of people.  More than what some would consider average.  And I have lost them in a multitude of ways. Cancer – the long-prolonged kind, years of worry and anxiety about whether this would be their last day.  And the short we did not even know he was this sick kind.  The he just went in for an operation and then got an infection kind.  The overdose kind – you were here one day and then you were not here ever again. How completely shocking and heartbreaking that is. The unexplainable tragic kind involving violence (I honestly cannot really write about this one yet).   The old age, it was expected, but still devastating kind. The loss of a beloved pet who is family. Watching others lose important people to illness, to suicide, to tragic car accidents that rip their loved one away, loss of parents to Alzheimer’s, to the devastating loss of a child.  

These are the ways I have met death.  This is what I have seen in my life so far.  I hope I have seen the worst, and death becomes kinder to me and my loved ones (I am terrified to even write this line, for risk of tempting it).

And I hope these words can help you understand grief and all the ways it shows up.  Of course, there is even more on grief than what I have written, and it is completely individual in how we respond, feel, and manage.

In fact, as I write this, I realize how I also grieve the loss of other things.  Dear friends who are no longer in my life, people who I felt connected to and who are no longer around, the camaraderie and fun and heartfelt support of some friends. I grieve the loss of places that I spent my time in, that I connected with. We can grieve people, places, jobs, animals, even parts of ourselves. 

So, if you are grieving right now, know that you are not alone. 

I hear you, even in your silence.

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Being an Empath and Thriving

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of questions about what to do if you feel everyone’s energy, if you hate crowds, if you feel overwhelmed, etc.

We often refer to this as “being an empath”.  It is true. It is often the path of the empath to feel everyone else’s feelings.  It seems to be a blessing and a curse for many of us. What I want to try to help you with in this blog, is to see where it comes from and what you can do to help yourself manage, navigate and thrive with it.

So first things first. Empath. Let’s flip that. Me-path. Please oh please, if anything, PUT YOURSELF FIRST.  Empathy is a beautiful trait in which we can feel deeply the feelings/experiences/energy of another.  But when we don’t separate ourselves from it, we can lose ourselves in it.  We can get so lost in it that we don’t even know where we are.  And then we get sad, depressed, angry, resentful, etc.  And then sometimes, we even become so confused we don’t know if what we are feeling is ours or another’s.

So….ME first.  Say it loud!!  This is not a selfish thing. Self-sacrifice is not always the heroic road to take.  Not if it’s at the cost of your mental, emotional, physical or energetic health. Be your own Hero. Remember Me-Path. And remember that not everyone can feel what you feel, so you may have different NEEDS than they do.

You many need to take space and ground yourself, clear your energy and feel all those parts of yourself that you give up for another. This is the deeper work that comes with being an empath. Also, you need to always check in with yourself first. What do I want?  What do I need?  What do I feel? Where do I feel it in my body?  Do I feel my feet?  Do i feel my breath?   If you’re overly connected to another person’s energy, mental thoughts, emotions, you need to step away. You need to re-ground, re-centre.

How you ask?   Well….let’s see…take a breath and feel your own body.  If you can’t feel it, then do something physical - down dog, pushups, plank.  Feel your core, your body, your essence.   Let the other thing or person leave your mind and keep feeling you!  It sounds silly to some, but some of us are so good at feeling the other, we forget we are even here.  

Some ways to clear

·         Take a walk in nature and let the energy clear out of you as your physically ground

·         Take a cleansing shower and imagine the water is clearing your energy

·         Burn sage and open the windows in your home, imagine the sage is clearing the air and your energy around your body

·         Yell, scream, punch, kick, get it out of you (don’t hurt yourself or another please).  Start slowly with pushups/squats and move into the bigger moves.

·         Calming breath work, deep stretches, stillness practices

·         Crystals are great tools too – hematite, tourmaline for grounding, selenite to cleanse the other crystals etc.

·         Aromatherapy oils – use the woodsy oil like pine, cedarwood, spruce, benzoin, vetiver to ground. Please check with a certified aromatherapist for contraindications, cautions and ways to utilize these precious vibrational tools

·         Say No!  Use your voice to set boundaries.   Say “not mine” – do not take on other people’s thoughts, feeling, etc. It’s not your job to heal/fix/cleanse/carry others.

·         Get Help!   Look for a reiki therapist, qi gong therapist, or psychotherapist to help clear your energy and do the deep work of reconnecting to yourself

If you’re an empath, or sensitive to others and your environment, I know that you have already tried many if not all of these things.  I know, because I have too.  

It is truly a process of discovery and rebirth that will lead you to your freedom. We all have to walk separate paths and learn to work with and heal the wounds inside. Being an empath does not mean something is wrong with you, it’s just another way of being that you get to explore and unfold.  You don’t need to change it, or let it go, but you do need to learn to not dissolve into it.

Use the tools and practices and find what fits for you.  And then do the deeper work to feel into where it came from, and heal that wound.

Look back at the past, how you survived trauma or dysfunction in your family. How you found ways to stay safe, adapt, fix, heal, daydream, etc. Often it is through our early childhood connections with our parents or other caregivers that we first lose ourselves or give up some part of our power or take on their stuff.

It is a long road, but you can find shortcuts. I will blog more about this, but remember empathy always starts with flipping it to Me Path.  Keep coming back to yourself in ways that feel true and right and ways that you can honour yourself.

Namaste.

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Self Care

This post start with a questions I ask myself.  What’s important to me, what do I constantly repeat to my clients, my yoga classes, my self?

SELF CARE!!  

What do you do in between the massage sessions, the yoga classes, the therapy sessions, work, or the kids stuff? How do you care for yourself?  

Self care has gotten a bad wrap and a lot of press. We’ve gone from thinking it’s selfish to take care of yourself to the other extreme of pressure filled, expense or grand rituals for self care. But there is so so much in between!

So let’s start at the beginning. The first thing about self care I believe is awareness.  You have to know that you need it and what your body, mind and heart requires and then how you want that to look.

I call this checking in. This can be as simple as taking a breath and tuning into what the body needs in this exact moment.  Do you need to breath deeper?   Stretch your neck?   Get up and move around?   Or it can be something bigger. Maybe you need a week off of work or a weekend to decompress.  Maybe you can just take a break and watch a live comedy show.

There are so many things you can do for self care.

The most important thing is ACTION.  Awareness without action is simply remaining stationary or stuck.  You need to take action.  Right now!  Take a deep breath, look around, and get a new perspective. Below is a list of self care tips that you can and need to practice at home.  Do these in between our  sessions to help your body, mind and heart feel better!

Easy

Stretch – 5 min or 20 min - you will feel better!

Move your body - roll your shoulders, go for a walk, stretch your calves

Plank - to strengthen your core, start with 10 sec and build to 2 min

Jog/walk on the spot - get your circulation moving! Even 5 min will help

Breath - stop and do 5 deep breaths with the intention of destressing, exhale through your mouth to let go of stress

Look up and smile - this simple act is proven to actually change your thoughts and feelings and to induce positive feelings

Listen to music

Decompress - don’t answer the phone or check emails for the night/day/weekend.  

Book a massage (sorry I had to put that in here!)

Medium

Book a night out - see a movie, comedy show, go dancing, meet with friends

Take a day to do something fun – go for a hike, explore a city, go to an art gallery/show

Take an Epsom salt bath - fill up the tub, get your favourite book/tunes, and a glass of water to stay hydrated

Create a routine that includes stretching, trigger point ball work, and self massage (hands, feet, legs, and even arms/shoulders)

Go to the gym – take a class, go for a run, or just use the sauna and whirlpool

Take a day off - sometimes our mental health is more important than anything else

Take a class – what’s your passion?   What are you waiting for?  Live your life now!

Challenge

Book a weekend off – where have you been waiting to go? Who do you want to go with? Maybe a solo trip?

Take a week off – get away from the city/home for a new perspective, or take a stay-cation and treat yourself to lunch/dinner every day!

Get a therapist – we all have stuff that needs to be talked out, or listened to.  Make sure you have a good support team.

Reach out  - important if you have a hard time asking for help

Complete things you’ve been putting off (I call this wiping the slate). Get it all done so you have more space in your mind and body for what really fuels you.

What are you resisting? Do you need to get a new doctor?  Dentist?   Do you have a filling to fix?   House repairs?  End/discuss a relationship/friendship? Caring for your body, mind and surroundings is also self care.

Here’s the thing about self care. There are always excuses not to – time, money, guilt, priority, etc.

BUT when you start choosing yourself first, it is going to change your life in so many ways (Trust me, I kinda know a few things about this). Even just saying NO to something/someone when it doesn’t feel good or right for you, is actually saying YES to yourself which is definitely self care. (We are going to talk about this in another blog post about boundaries)

If you’re not sure what self care to do first or what’s important, a good thing to do is work backwards. What do you want and how will you get it?   What is the outcome or consequences of getting that? Sometimes focusing on what we do want helps us narrow down our priorities and take care of ourselves.

Good Luck out there! I know you can do it. Remember you’re mental, physical and spiritual health come first. Serve yourself first!!

Namaste

Vanessa

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Guided Meditation

Join me on October 22 from 12 - 1 p.m. for a Guided Meditation session.

I will guide you on a journey to relax your mind and body and to reconnect with your inner wisdom. Nothing to do or bring except yourself. I will supply mats, pillows, blankets and anything else you need.

Cost: $15 (pay at the door)

Please register here: https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/soul-emerging-guided-meditation-tickets-50718746135

If you have any questions, contact me at vanessa@soulemerging.com

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Online Yoga!  

Mondays at 10:15am, gentle yoga

Thursdays at 10am, gentle yoga

zoom link required.  Contact www.soulemerging.com