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soullessbullshit · 9 hours
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Sees-All-Colors: Uh, Aelif? Why is Merric in the ballista?
Aelif, fiddling with the firing mechanism: Because the stupid lever isn't working!
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soullessbullshit · 1 day
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Ayrenn: You, over there. How much do you get paid?
Intern: I don't.
Ayrenn: Unacceptable. Follow me, we're taking a business trip to the ATM.
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soullessbullshit · 2 days
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Tavi: I love the infinite multiverse theory because that means there's a universe where I've pulled every single fire alarm I've ever seen.
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soullessbullshit · 3 days
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Cariel: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Raz does?! I mean, what if he jumped off a cliff?!
Urcelmo: If Razum-dar were to jump off a cliff, he would've done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Razum-dar jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Cariel: You jump off a cliff!
Urcelmo: Gladly. Provided Razum-dar did first.  
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soullessbullshit · 4 days
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Ayrenn: I officially declare today Casual Fredas.
Ayrenn: [rips off pants to reveal Hawaiian shorts underneath]
Courtier: It's Tirdas.
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soullessbullshit · 5 days
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Gabrielle: A positive and a negative combined are neutral.
Gabrielle: If someone is negative to you…
Gabrielle: CHOP 'EM IN THE THROAT THIS AIN'T PHYSICS!!!
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soullessbullshit · 6 days
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Khamira: You shouldn't be using a straw.
Cadwell: Yeah, yeah, I know. It's bad for the environment.
Khamira: No, it’s just a really weird way to eat spaghetti.
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soullessbullshit · 7 days
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Mannimarco: Impostor Syndrome is a common problem in academia. For example, my colleagues keep putting me in the airlock and ejecting me into space.
Vanus: Uh... if you're not the imposter, how do you keep coming back?
Mannimarco: Tenure.
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soullessbullshit · 8 days
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Lyris: I guess you could say I’ve... [winks] “fallen for you.”
Sai: You just fell off a cliff. How are you even alive?
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soullessbullshit · 9 days
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Tavi: [takes a sip out of a bottle]
Speaks-in-Embers: That's a weird looking strawberry soda. [grabs bottle and takes a gulp]
Tavi: Wait, don't-!
Speaks-in-Embers, spitting out the drink: What in Oblivion?! That's not strawberry soda!
Tavi: It's carbonated hot sauce.
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soullessbullshit · 10 days
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Adusa-daro: Since Adusa is going to be out for a while, this one has left you all a complimentary bowl of advice.
Adusa-daro, picking a paper out of the bowl: For instance, "Cassian, stop doing that" just applies to everything.
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soullessbullshit · 11 days
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Urcelmo: Everyone synchronize your watches!
Khali: This one doesn't know how.
Cariel: I don’t own a watch.
Indaenir: Time is a construct.
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soullessbullshit · 12 days
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Janeve, looking up at an enemy hideout: Are you sure this is safe...?
Gwendis: I never said that. [kicks down door]
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soullessbullshit · 13 days
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Lyris: So, people keep telling me that nonbinary people don't exist.
Lyris, opening door: But I found this thing in my closet…
Khoshekh, curled up under the coats: I like bread.
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soullessbullshit · 14 days
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soullessbullshit · 15 days
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Tharn: Why can’t you just say phrases correctly?
Cadwell: Well aren’t you a ray of sunscreen.
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soullessbullshit · 16 days
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Khoshekh: Have you ever looked at an authority figure in your life and thought, “wow, I respect a well-grilled hotdog more than I respect you?”
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