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can’t help it but there is something about watching lightning that is so mesmerizing and sad at the same time

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Homesick for Sun-ups

I tumbled out of my bed that morning a little earlier than I intended to, with mama nudging me awake and murmuring that I shouldn’t miss the sunrise. I slept through the previous day’s sun up, which she raved about for being a golden view I’d surely die to see. Can’t make the same mistake, she said.

One sleepy stride after another, we arrived at the shore. It would’ve been a perfect spot for…

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Find Your Happy Place

I have always been an introvert kid. I never volunteer for anything that would force me to come up on center stage. It takes a considerable amount of courage for me to start a conversation with someone I just met. And for the longest time, I thought.. I need to change. Other people enjoy company, other people love being the center of attention, other people can breeze their way into a…

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An Open Letter to my Future Self

If you have the chance to talk to your future self, what would you say?

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Dear future Shiena,

I hope I made you proud. I bet you read a lot of books by now and drank lots of coffee. Please know that I wish you all the happiness in life because you deserve it. You are who you are at present because you learned from the mistakes you made. You survived because you are a strong and independent…

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If you have superpowers, what would they be?

Guess who’s got some sort of flick hang over? *raises hands in mock surrender*

Actively lurking in a myriad of websites dominated by The Avengers fandom for a couple days, I stumbled upon a random thread with the cliché topic: “if you have superpowers, what would they be”. Most of the responses in the thread—specifically the “whys” of their choice of power—had me chuckling for a while.

Anyway I…

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Our History in Shoeprints

The candy wrapper I picked up that afternoon was a mosaic of shoeprints. It made me wonder about the lives of people who stepped on it—they’re all going different paths, they have different destinations, and they wove different plans in their heads about their hundred-hundred tomorrows. At some point in their journey, their soul converge or slide upon each other without knowing it. This wrapper…

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They don't teach me how to deal with you (plural)

They don’t teach me how to deal with you (plural)

(My youngest brother just graduated from Senior High four days ago–which inspired me to write this piece. I’m sure everyone can relate.) School is important, we all know that. It serves as an institute that do not give us direct answers to our biggest problems; instead, it gives us some time to master the basics of life while we totter on our training wheels. At the end of the day, life itself is…

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When life gives you lemons, make...ah, wait, what if I don't want lemonade?

When life gives you lemons, make…ah, wait, what if I don’t want lemonade?

There will be times in your life when your mood balloon will deflate, the “helium” in it sucked out by even your littlest pet peeve. There will be times when all you want to do is to run away somewhere no one will ask you why you did what you did. There will be times when you will scrape your knees badly from falling too hard or too often, and because of all those hackneyed adages about getting…

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For Roy and Irene

Here’s a short free writing piece I wrote for one of my best friends, Ate I. Semi-inspired by her real life. 😀 ______________________________ A chapter closes and another opens… A chance encounter with someone you think could be your soulmate holds an almost magical charm. If your mind lingers to it long enough, your imagination will start churning out what-could-have-beens coupled with a wish…

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You Are Enough

Put your hand over your heart. Feel that? That hammer-like rhythm, those lively little drum beats? That’s your purpose. You are here for a reason, so you go live and fulfill it. Today is #selfharmawarenessday 🦋 I’m posting as part of the challenge to encourage every soul out there to cling to the hope that, YES it will be better. Surely, there’s no forgetting the times when we grapple with our…

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Floating Letters

Dear whoever-you-might-be, always-standing-there-for-US-no-matter-what-happens, Ma, hahaha. Sure you won’t be able to read this, because (1) you’ve got bad eyesight and (2) you don’t care about the internet and all its “craps”. Maybe I’ll say this to you in person sometime in the future, you just have to wait for that tremendous drama. Anyway, I just want to say that no matter how crazy I may…

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For Annie

A short free writing piece for my friend Annie. 🙂 Semi-inspired by her real life. First drafted in long hand after our online chitchat about Cinderella’s fairytale last new year’s day. You asked me to write about it. Remember? Yes? I know this may come as a surprise that I wrote it about you instead and my poor little heart is now praying that you won’t murder me the next time we see each other.…

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Glass half full.

Sometimes I imagine myself in a science fiction-y world where things like hope, optimism and confidence come in the form of pills. Like, if I become weak-kneed with hopelessness, all I have to do is down a handful of tablets and poof! everything will be okay. I’ll suddenly be very confident, and even if I’m in a seemingly no-win situation, I’ll be able to find a way to get through it with good…

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Of non-verbatim heart-murmurs

Being stuck between having something of a perk and a disadvantage… Sorry for the vagueness, but I just couldn’t put a finger on it. I’m there right now, drifting betwixt the urge to cling to the comfort zone I’ve created on my own and the overpowering magnetism to charge along the responsibility-driven world of adults. It was disconcerting in the least, but I guess that’s just the side effect of…

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Virginia Woolf

I am fearfully unstable. I pass from hot to cold in an instant, without any reason […] — Virginia Woolf, from a letter to Leonard Woolf c. May 1931 Poems may get written because of it, songs may pull out their lyrics from it, and stories may be born from its dark womb, but there is irrefutably nothing beautiful about depression. It is not your garden-variety sadness; it is an ugly monster seeking…

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(Trigger Warning: This contains suicide, drugs, rape, physical abuse, bullying, etc.) 

Title: The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Author: Stephen Chbosky
Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (3.5 Stars) 
Dear friend, 
I just finished reading Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and I’m glad that I was finally able to read this masterpiece. I first watched the film adaptation of this book (with the same title) last 2015 and I’ve since watched it for like three times already. I’d say that my opinion on it from the first time I watched the movie till I finished reading the book didn’t really change. If anything, the Perks has become an instant favorite of mine because of its 90’s vibe and the soundtrack was absolutely amazing. 
The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a young adult novel which traipses in the footsteps of J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye. The book narrates the story of Charlie, a teenage freshman in 1991. Just like Holden Caulfield, from The Catcher in the Rye, Charlie perceives life rather differently. 
For me he’s a conflicting soul - easily depressed; a different kind of antihero who has an archetypal martyr beneath his façade. Shy but intelligent, insightful yet socially awkward. Patrick (my personal favorite from this story) have described Charlie as a wallflower. Obviously because Charlie often chooses to observe and sit on the sidelines while watching the world perform its complicated dance moves. His English teacher, Bill, noticed it too and have stepped up to encourage Charlie to "participate more in life." But one thing Charlie realizes throughout his first year in high school is that although the vantage point from the fringes is quite amusing, there is nothing like being lightheaded while whirling in the dance floor with his friends. 
In a nutshell, it’s all about learning the sinks, the trips, and the twist of a dance called “growing up.” 
The style of writing is noticeably plain but in contrast it depicts a complex and disturbing themes that the book deals with. Drugs, teenage pregnancy, sexuality, depression, suicide, bullying, domestic violence—you name it, Perks has it. I couldn't help but noticed at first that Chbosky is being ambitiously blunt by trying to cram every difficult scenario that most teens face up to this day, but I soon realized that the author refreshingly and realistically tackles each, especially the ones that resonate in Charlie’s psyche. Which for me is relatable at its best. Not to mention that the narration provided just the right amount of humor because of Charlie’s light and somewhat peculiar voice. 
To be honest, I became drawn to Charlie’s fascinating world for a time, magnetized by the family issues, friends, and the music strewn throughout the story (I especially loved the music) I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs, but his circle of friends resemble mine in some aspects. Just like most young adult books, the complexity of any kind of relationship is well executed. I like how Chbosky painted it with sheer simplicity. I wouldn't want it any other way. The ‘twist’ at the end was a loud epiphany bomb for both Charlie and the reader.
 While Perks may not be the best coming-of-age book that I’ve read, it certainly earned its special spot in my heart.

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The Perks of Being a Wallflower: Book Review

(TriggerWarning: This contains suicide, drugs, rape, physical abuse, bullying, etc.) Title: The Perks of Being a Wallflower Author: Stephen Chbosky Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (3.5 Stars) Dear friend, I just finished reading Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and I’m glad that I was finally able to read this masterpiece. I first watched the film adaptation of…