stephen-strange-x-everyone - Tumblr blog

[stephen-strange-x-everyone]

Loki: I am in need of a human skull and you cannot ask why.

Stephen: Only if you also don’t ask why.

Stephen: *pulls out seven pristine human skulls* take your pick.

Loki:

Stephen:

Loki: this one is fine.

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Wong: Strange is so focused on learning this new spell he let me eat his sandwich. You could say anything to him and he would agree.

America: Stephen!!! I met this grasshopper and we’re really in love. I need $1,000 so I can marry this grasshopper! Is that okay?

Stephen: Yeah, sure, Chavez.

Peter: wow! Let me try!

Peter: Hey Stephen-

Stephen: No, Parker, absolutely not.

Peter:

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Stephen: alright loki, what would you like to drink?

Loki: the tears of my enemies wrenched from their bodies as their bones and souls are CRUSHED

Stephen: ….We have jasmine tea

Loki: ooh jasmine!

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Stephen: what if we went to dinner… not as friends?

Loki: as ENEMIES????

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Wong: there is a fine line between being a genius and being an idiot.

Wong: Stephen uses that line as a jump rope.

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Stephen: hey could I please have some napkins

Tony: uhmmmm this is ✨stark industries✨ we don’t sell napkins

Stephen: fine can I please have some stark-napkins©

Tony: oh yeah of course

Stephen:

Stephen: I’m going to curse your entire bloodline.

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Tony: you’re in his dms I’m in the bathroom of his haunted tentacle filled mansion Googling all his meds. We are NOT the same.

Tony: *thinks about the sentance he said*

Tony: actually you can have him

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Texting

Tony: ARE YOU OKAY???

Stephen: yeah, why?

Tony: the news said the queen died

Stephen: ……………

Stephen: *makes a portal to the dark dimension and tosses his phone in*

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Stephen: blood loss? No I know exactly where it is lol

Stephen: *looks down at his bloodstained shirt before passing out*

Christine:

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Stephen: alright, I would reccomend an oral treatment for this cold

Tony: *raises eyebrow* did you just prescribe me a good dick sucking doc?

Stephen: *flushes* no no, oral as in oral medication

Tony: ….

Stephen: although…. Christine has been telling me I should improve my patient-doctor interactions….. maybe I could volunteer spending a little time on my knees….

Tony: 😏

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Tweeting

Tony: being in a homosexual relationship isn’t all fun and games. Sometimes you get really used to stealing your boyfriend’s clothes and then he goes on a trip and suddenly you have no pants to wear

Stephen: I literally only packed two pairs of pants

Tony: THE GOOD PANTS

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Stephen: Ladies, don't be a replacement for his mother. Be a replacement for the thing under his bed that he was afraid of as a child - mysterious, elusive, and probably from a hell dimension.

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Over the phone

Stephen: I have your spider child

Tony: what are your demands

Stephen: are you fucking kidding me?!!!! He trapped me in the grand fucking canyon come get him NOW!!!!

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Wong: have you ever ate a date?

Stephen: ate a date?

Wong: yeah

Stephen: …..like, ate their ass? Yeah

Wong: NO the FRUIT!!

Stephen: ohhhhhhh

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Wanda and Stephen both have something in common:

they both got the shit kicked out of them by a plucky young teenage superhero

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Rhodey: what color are strange’s eyes?

Tony: *sighs dreamily*

Tony: the color of an ocean over a coral reef glittering in the sunlight after a storm…..

Rhodey: which is….?

Tony: Beautiful!